Ill Folks

GEORGE JONES - I'VE AGED TWENTY YEARS IN FIVE

2011-02-19T12:00:00.001-08:00

This is the anniversary of the Illfolks blog.

"And so it was," (to borrow Mr. Brooker's towering voice for a moment) that since 2006, on the 9th, 19th and 29th of every month, unusual and often obscure music began turning up here. Five solid years of music. Some folks even noticed:

"Highly original blog; obscure pop/folk/indie/retro cuts/mixes of all sorts; a real smorgasbord" (Gravybread) and "...Weird and wacky and a lot of underappreciated stuff. Mostly oldies from all kinds of genres…." (Totally Fuzzy) and "So many ill folks, so little time - great neglected artists, celebrity recordings, themed collections, the occasionally weird, & more." (Youdonthavetovisit). Some artists left encouraging remarks, and there's been individual perception from a small circle of music fans and angels of the odd. But, enough looking back on what's happened here since February 19th of 2006.

The choice of celebratory song is "I've Aged Twenty Years in Five," because it's a funny title, not because the blog has driven me to drink. George Jones is offering a drinking song here, and whatever's happened to me in the past five years, good or bad, has not been the result of reckless usage of spirits fermenti, or such vices as smoking, doing illegal drugs, or consuming animals that walk the planet same as I do. George isn't exactly your typical Illfolks "unknown," but he gets sampled here because he's not nearly as respected as he should be. Frank Sinatra thought him the greatest singer in America (except for a guy named Frank Sinatra). George is a too traditional C&W for some tastes (abetted by musical arrangements that often include a squeamy violin) but his phrasing on ballads is hard to beat, and like Jolson he got better as he got older. He also has a good sense of humor. Which means "He Stopped Loving Her Today" and "Wino the Clown" are balanced by "White Lightning" a "No Show Jones."

George has had some health problems lately, but what can you expect? If he's aged twenty years in five, the guy is actually about 395 years old.

I'VE AGED TWENTY YEARS IN FIVE

THE ROCK

2011-02-19T11:59:00.001-08:00

As previously mentioned (see BORDERS' SONG) whether it's global warming, or over-population, or abuses of human rights or even animal rights, nobody's listening.

It would easy to point a finger at the greedy landlords who raise the rent on the poor, Joni Mitchell's army of "short-sighted businessmen" who strip mine the land and pollute the rivers, or the religious fanatics who believe their way is the only way, or the politicians who pander to special interests and maintain the status quease. But we see that the Internet has turned into a nightmare of cyberbullying and selfishness, and several monopolies have risen to break laws and make billionaires out of punks with no morality. The blog and torrent world's gone from an eccentric "sharing" community to a spammy, smarmy, selfish assortment of glory-grabbing Paypal-demanding fools who rationalize the unthinkable and have no empathy for the creative people they rip off. Their power has corrupted, and their notion that everything should be free spits in the face of all the logic that says that an economy thrives on paying for goods and services.

It's reasonable to expect moderation…some form of gun control, some acceptance of birth control, some responsibility about replenishing our natural resources, some realization that piracy is not the answer and that taking what doesn't belong to you is nothing to be proud of. Selfishness rules, not the Golden Rule. The bigger they are, the less they care, and the more unreasonable they become. People are pleading for simple human rights, for copyright protection, for a job and a place to live that is safe from violence. They might as well talk to a wall.

"The Rock" is a little story song about someone who sees a problem and can't convince anyone to do anything about it.

The solution is so simple we ignore it. It's the Golden Rule. It's empathy. It's moderation. It's using self-control or the arm of the law to curb the all-too human instincts of greed and power.

Harry? He's here on the blog of less renown because despite having a hit song or two, he's largely forgotten now, and was often the target of critics who hated his story-songs, his sentimentality, and his passionate views on morality. Face it, even his biggest hit, "Cats in the Cradle," makes people uncomfortable, because…well, the truth tends to make people uncomfortable.

Some of his fellow musicians weren't so wild about Harry either, frowning on the whole concept of the "story song," or complaining about the man's voice, which did become increasingly harsh thanks to his heavily committed touring schedule. I was hanging out with Meatloaf one evening, and he scowled that one of the things he really didn't like, was when people compared his voice to Harry's.

Harry himself knew that he often went way too far with his pathos, and sold "Harry, It Sucks" t-shirts at his gigs. But at his best, he wrote some touching, moving songs. Thankfully, when he was around, he had a record label that stuck with him long after the hits weren't coming. I'd heard of him, but hadn't paid much attention till a woman handed me one of his albums and asked me to listen. She figured if I liked some folkies, like Mr. Ochs, I might find a place in my heart for Harry. She had an ulterior motive. A song on the album was "A Better Place to Be," and she said she identified with the waitress, and what she said to the man at the diner: "I wish that you were mine." And she was looking at me when she said it.

Harry sure had a way of getting to people. I saw Harry in performance, and it was one of the best concerts I ever saw, because the man was an exuberant showman. As good as some existing footage of him might be, it doesn't remotely capture what it was like "being there." In person, he almost sent out microwaves. Some people really come alive on stage, and the energy ignites the audience, and vice versa. Believe me, I walked in expecting Harry to do a competent show as everyone from Ian Dury to Ray Davies can do, and was not expecting to walk out buzzed or blown away. So Harry surprised me.

While you could sit alone and be touched by a song like "Mr. Tanner," or enjoy a story with a wicked punchline such as "The Mayor of Candor Lied" (I'm not ashamed to say I didn't see that one coming), this guy could also work magic of a different kind in live concert. Aside from being a performer, and a very good songwriter, and a fair vocalist, Harry was a humanitarian. On the day he died, the 39 year-old was as always, in the midst of a heavy schedule of activities…phone calls and promotions for his "World Hunger" organization, driving into town for meetings, and mindful of a scheduled free concert in the evening. He saw a lot of problems, small and intimate ones between people, are large ones involving countries and corporations. Depending on the target, he could be tender and patient, or strident and urgent. There are boulders in our paths, cinders in our eyes, and sometimes a teetering rock on a hillside. Who recognizes these, or becomes convinced that action must be taken, or takes that step from being part of the problem to part of the solution?

THE ROCK

Ill-ustrated Songs #20: FROM THE INDIES TO THE ANDIES IN HIS UNDIES

2011-02-19T11:57:00.001-08:00

It's taken a while, but finally, here's a sample of The Hoosier Hot Shots. They're a kind of lost link between Spike Jones and Homer & Jethro. They were not quite as tetched and eccentric as Jones (despite some fierce use of the slide whistle, washboard and car horn). Their tendency to go for hee-haws rather than laughs has also marked them "for corn lovers only," but a lot of their stuff is mighty fine mental moonshine. "I Like Bananas Because They Have No Bones" is a classic, but it's not as inspiring for a startling visual image as "From the Indies to the Andies In His Undies." I tried not to be TOO startling. (PS, "Andies" is how they chose to spell "Andes." You can see it for yourself if you buy Columbia's CD collection "Rural Rhythm") )

The song opens, as it so often does, with brother "Rudy" Trietsch giving a shout-out to brother "Hezzie" Trietsch. Are you ready? Can it still get a laugh? You should trietsch some time.

"He carried for a charm a kippered herring.
To protect him when the tropic sun was glaring.
Whoever met him thought he needed airing…"

From the INDIES to the ANDIES in his UNDIES

ARRIVEDERCI HANS - Laura Lynn & RITA PAVONE

2011-02-19T11:52:00.000-08:00

Sometimes a blog entry really doesn't need a commentary. A photo and a link will do fine.

Laura Lynn's one of the latest schlagers to slog through the Arrivederci to Hans.

Perhaps freckled, sassy Rita Pavone sang the definitive version...

....which (check the comments) had been incorrectly attributed to Caterina Valente.

ARRIVEDERCI HANS - LAURA LYNN

ARRIVEDERCI HANS - RITA PAVONE

BORDERS SONG - Sung by Aretha, Writ by Elton

2011-02-19T11:49:00.000-08:00

"Holy Moses, I have been removed…" In filing for bankruptcy, the Borders book chain will be removing 6,000 jobs, and shutting down 200 stores.

"Holy Moses, I have been deceived…" they're the latest bunch deceived into thinking what worked for the past century would still work now.

For over 100 years, creative artists could make a living by selling recordings, having a career on radio, photographing or writing or editing for periodicals, or writing books.

I've been involved in all the above, and I can tell you that it was never easy, and now it's almost impossible.

"Now the wind has changed direction. I think I have to leave…"

Remember when people said music sharing doesn't hurt anyone? Then Tower Records went bankrupt and CD sales plummeted, and sales of legit mp3 music leveled off. Remember when they said torrents pumping out movies and warez wouldn't hurt anybody? Blockbuster video filed for bankruptcy as did Circuit City, and there have been less movies made, less choice in electronics, and fewer TV programs that aren't cheaply produced "reality" fare, quizzes, or dumb talent contests.

While Amazon relentlessly pushed their Kindle, we were told it was "good" for the publishing industry. Instead, newspapers and magazines have gone under and advances for books are a joke. Used book and magazine stores began to disappear as soon as pdf versions became easy to download of forums and Google began digitizing entire libraries. Has Amazon hired all the talented bookstore personnel now out of work? No, they don't need 'em. They already have enough minimum-wage people putting toasters and blenders into boxes...and shipping them via UPS while the U.S. Post Office runs further into debt and post offices around the country are closing.

"He's my brother…let us live in peace."

No, if your brother's a songwriter, a photographer, a magazine editor, a singer, a novelist…then he's the nigger of the world, and he should do his work for free, and if he objects or stands up for his rights, he should be whipped. If he was the honest working man who ran a bookstore or worked in a record store he can go fight with an immigrant for a job washing floors somewhere.

Mp3 files, avi, pdf etc. are easy to duplicate and toss to the great army of "zero should pay." One copy sold, ten copies stole'd. Marie Antoinette said "let them eat cake." Today, it's "let them sell t-shirts." Or "what the (movie, publishing, record) industry needs is a new paradigm." This, coming from people who don't have an idea what that paradigm might be, and aren't in those industries.

Let's also remember people out of work because their jobs were connected to the industries hit hard by piracy. For example, the Sony CD pressing plant in Pitman, New Jersey that was shuttered...it also affected the mom and pop diner that relied on those workers to buy breakfasts and lunches. Also destroyed, the take-out places that brought in coffee and donuts. Cleaning people who served that factory are out, too. As you could read, free, at worldtvpc.com, the factory closure meant "300 employees out of work….There’s no question that iTunes and piracy have helped to kill off the CD….the piracy culture that started way back during the Napster era has flourished, and now people have an even more difficult time swallowing the price of a CD." Apple doesn't need to hire those 300 people to process mp3 files for download, they have a small staff that handles it easily.

Which brings me to the photo of Elisha Cook Jr, which movie buffs will recognize as a climactic moment from "House on Haunted Hill." His character in the film knows that he is going to be destroyed. His pursuit of happiness is over. He speaks the reality: "They're coming for me now…AND THEY'LL COME FOR YOU."

If you're a retired teacher or union man, you might find your pension shaved down. If you're young and want to go to college, or old and want social security, you'll find a small government check that doesn't pay for tuition or a new comforter for the bed. As the domino effect continues, because "we want free" means less money going into the economy and more people fired, you may lose your job and be treated with the same scorn and indifference as the workers from Tower, Blockbuster or Borders.

"...AND THEY'LL COME FOR YOU."

The anonymous Internet that we love so much, which gives us the opiate of free downloads of music, movies, warez and books and magazines…is the same faceless, soulless place that will cyberbully you, steal your identity, invade your privacy, and swindle you with impunity. In the past you could talk to a store owner, but you can't talk to someone at eBay or Paypal or Google. The faceless Wikileaks people who so heroically expose secrets…may choose to expose yours. If they don't somebody on Facebook might. These are anonymous people who think nobody has a right to remain anonymous - except themselves.

At one time, progress didn't mean destruction. The factory that made 8-tracks simply made cassettes. The factory that made cassettes simply made CD's. But now an mp3 blip and an avi speck are so innately worthless you can't re-sell 'em on eBay for a penny. There are people who say we should have no laws regulating the Internet, no rules, no moderation. They don't want borders on the Net. And hey, there's 200 less Borders in real life. The chain will probably shutter completely in a year. Maybe the stores will reopen as Starbucks…but not everyone will be able to afford a cup of coffee there. Many can't afford it right now. Holy Moses!
BORDER SONG by ARETHA Listen on line or download…no pop-ups, pop-unders, Paypal donation request or wait time extortion.

AL HIRT - THE GREEN HORNET THEME

2011-02-09T07:44:00.000-08:00

In another time (1964, to be exact), instrumentals were often million-sellers. Al Hirt scored a Top Ten with "Java," and won a Grammy Award. Two years later, he gave the performance of his career with the gut-busting lip-blistering "Flight of the Bumblebee," jazzed up as the theme for the TV series "The Green Hornet."

That show failed, perhaps because "Batman" (also on ABC) was so campy and the Hornet was dull by comparison. Besides, we'd already seen a guy in a mask with an ethnic sidekick: "The Lone Ranger." The Ranger's creators (George Trendle and Fran Striker) simply figured a modern-day urban version could diversify their portfolio. They even made Hornet Britt Reid a distant relative to the old Ranger John Reid, when the show premiered on radio in the 30's.

The theme song outlasted the TV series, and was used on the soundtrack for "Kill Bill." Today, with a new attempt at "The Green Hornet" in theaters, the character as originally played on TV by Van Williams is a hazy memory…but the theme song by Al Hirt still has some sting.

Hirt was a big star throughout the 60's (literally, too) but had a setback in 1970 when some fan, just having fun, used him for target practice during a Mardi Gras parade. Hirt was on a float, playing his trumpet, when he was hit by a flying object that nearly tore his lip off. Fortunately Al was able to recover, but by that time, tastes had changed and instrumentals, as well as "middle of the road" performers, were not part of the Top 20 AM radio scene.

Hirt retained his title of "King," mostly because he was the last of the line, with no other trumpet player about to come along and have hit records. For most any kid learning trumpet, the role model was Al Hirt…as opposed to big band guys such as Harry James or Louis Armstrong. The only other guy out there was Doc Severinsen, who led "The Tonight Show Band" and made comic, near cross-eyed expressions after hitting a high note. As I struggled to hit an E above high C, I did marvel at those notes Doc hit…but more the dexterity of Al Hirt…whom I also couldn't match with my sticky-valved trumpet and underdeveloped embouchure. Finding myself sounding more like bugler Gunga Din just after being shot, I decided to take up instruments that didn't require oral contact. And yes, I can play "Flight of the Bumblebee" damn well on any of 'em. As for the trumpet, I no longer try and will not be Hirt.

AL HIRT "GREEN HORNET THEME" STEREO

AL HIRT "ORIGINAL TV SOUNDTRACK" MONO

ALIVE AT NINETY-FOUR: ZSA ZSA GABOR + DION

2011-02-09T07:42:00.000-08:00

On February 6th, the unlikely happened: Zsa Zsa Gabor reached her 94th birthday. If you haven't been following the Paris Hilton of the geriatric set, Hollywood's original celebutard was counted out back in 2002 after a car crash, and in 2005 after suffering a stroke. She had the obit writers ready to roll after more surgery in 2007, and then hip replacement in the summer of 2010 (a procedure that killed Eddie Fisher). Complications from the surgery were so severe Zsa Zsa asked for last rites. She was in and out of danger, but back in the hospital in January of this year, ultimately requiring the amputation of her right leg above the knee.

Now she's home, and before anything else happens, it's time to give a little celebration of her life, rather than a eulogy and the typical Illfolks "obit with music."

For some of us, Zsa Zsa Gabor has always been a benign, sexy joke. Yes, she made a few movies that had or still have some critical or cult appeal. She was a hit in "Moulin Rouge," though her musical voice was dubbed by black opera singer Muriel Smith. Gabor was also in Orson Welles' "Touch of Evil," and the campy "Queen of Outer Space" among others. She showed a sense of humor on sitcoms, variety shows, and course as a guest villain on "Batman." Way before "bad girls" became the norm, there was Zsa Zsa, slapping a cop in 1989 during a traffic dispute. But she was best known for chattering on talk shows, mostly about the joys of sex, being rich, and marrying nine times, including George Sanders and Paris's grandfather Conrad Hilton. She's currently wed to some lunatic named Prince Frederic von Anhalt.

Back in her heyday, Gabor managed to get almost as much face-time in fan mags as her much more accomplished contemporaries such as Elizabeth Taylor and Brigitte Bardot. She was name-checked by, among others, Spike Jones (in "Knock Knock," on the "Music America Hates Best" album), Allan Sherman (Joshua and the Battle of Jericho morphed into Zsa Zsa and a bottle of Geritol) and Dion and the Belmonts in "Donna the Prima Donna."

So what do we have now? Nothing much. Lindsay Lohan, the Kardashian idiots, and Paris Hilton are all very cheap and tawdry by comparison. None's come up with a quotable line, or have Gabor's cheerful panache. As slutty as Gabor may have been, you never realized it, because she did it with...class! Vocally, if you're desperate for the Zsa Zsa sound, you'll find it burbling from the gullet of Arriana Huffington. Arriana is not Hungarian, though, she's Greek, and her scandals have merely involved complaints of plagiarism for writing bios that copied material written by others. Though she followed Zsa Zsa's lead in marrying a millionaire mostly for his money (he turned out to be bisexual), Arriana will most likely never come close to Gabor's list of marriages and discards. Gabor was an original, which is why, 20 years after she bitch-slapped a cop and 40 years after she could be called a MILF, people are saddened by her illnesses and her decline gets almost as much news as the latest Lindsay Lohan court appearance.

So while most end up with "the girl next door," here's a salute to the one and only (all right, it's time to sneak in a mention of wonderful sister Eva), ZSA ZSA GABOR….sing it, Dion:

"I remember the nights we dated,always acting sophisticated,
Talking about high society,
Then she tried to make a fool out of me...
She always wears charms, diamonds, pearls galore,
She buys them at the 5 & 10 cents store.
She wants to be just like Zsa Zsa Gabor,
Even though she's the girl next door…"

Dion mispronounced Gabor's name as "Za Za" in the original single, but below you get a 2009 bootleg from a Connecticut concert, in which he corrects it to "Zsa Zsa…"

Hear the 2009 live boot:

DONNA The PRIMA DONNA - who wanted to be just like Zsa Zsa Gabor.

POLLUTION! Tom Lehrer in German: VERSCHMUTZUNG

2011-02-09T07:41:00.000-08:00

There's a lot of schmutz in the world!

In the years since Tom Lehrer sang "Pollution" on TV's short-lived "That Was The Week That Was," nominal efforts to clean some rivers or recycle some of our garbage have been overwhelmed by short-sighted pigs destroying this overpopulated planet.

No polar bears, tigers or oysters in 50 years? Who's to say the human race will be around in 50 years? Oil spills are as toxic and common as Kardashians. You can spot islands of garbage floating in our oceans as if they're franchises of Taco Bell.

While a city dweller may breathe in the equivalent of a pack of cigarettes a day in air pollution, his country cousin isn't doing much better thanks to coal mines and factories as well as chicken farms and pig farms. Nobody seemed to care when 20 million gallons of hog shit ended up in a river in North Carolina, but even backward states that used to have plenty of room are no longer havens for simple pursuits such as squirrel shooting, armed robbery and rape. Many rural residents are suffering cancers and finding less fresh air and water because of stupid and/or crooked politicians overlooking obvious menaces. A giant pig farm oozing shit and blood into streams and lakes is a problem even a moronic lazy rebel should find offensive.

Remember the last Olympic games? People were much more concerned over China cheating with underage gymnasts, than they were with China's horrendous pollution putting a literal pall over every stadium and event. Some athletes could barely function in that environment. But that's better left unsaid, and unsung. It's been many, many years since Lehrer sang "Polllution" and Joni Mitchell pointed out the paving of paradise or grumbled "short sighted businessmen…nothing lasts for long." Well, why should we be surprised that obnoxious greed-heads turn their backs on pollution or global warming and say it doesn't exist? We have bloggers with Paypal donations and websites decrying every copyright owner's DMCAs, sneering: "Nobody can prove that "sharing" hurts the economy or the artists."

What can one do, except put on a skull-like grin and wait for the end of the world? Germans, so noted for a dark, gross, (if not Grosz) sense of humor, are enjoying the fiercely acidic and cheerfully pessimistic works of Tom Lehrer thanks to an album of translations by pianist-singer Felix Janosa (he's in the photo above, in a hat I hope he realizes is comical). Let's face it, Tom's works do sound even more menacing in German!

"You're right," Max Prendergast said to Emma Peel, "it is a rather brutal language."

Janosa's German-language versions of Lehrer lieder are often funny even if you don't speak the language. Lehrer isn't given enough credit for catchy tunes that are in fact comic parodies. "Masochism Tango" is tangier than its inspiration, "Kiss of Fire," "Vatican Rag" is more relentlessly cheerful than anything Scott Joplin did, and there's no calypso that flaunts its vulgarity as fiercely as "Pollution," here titled "Verschmutzung." So wipe the schmutz out of your ears and give a listen...

FELIX JANOSA:
POLLUTION - TOM LEHRER in german VERSCHMUTZUNG

La Puta Christina Aguilera Throttles the National Anthem

2011-02-09T07:39:00.000-08:00

Any publicity is good publicity. When was the last time Christina Aguilera mattered? Once you show your cooch, that's it. What else can you do? Rolling Stone (Feb 3, 2010, page 18) said her "Gaga-style makeover didn't work - and neither did her movie (Burlesque) or tour (it was cancelled)." In other words, has-been Aguilera could barely manage a dumb gig like singing the National Anthem. Fortunately, she blew it, and became front page news.

Everyone's been howling over Christina's foul-up. Joyce Chen in the Daily News: "Wardrobe malfunction? More like warble malfunction." As if Chen is perfect? She reported on Christina's final note held "for just over six seconds in her trademark guttaral growl." GUTTARAL? Speaking of typos, a mere hour after Aguilera seared everyone's ears, the USA Today website rushed to report it…and spelled her last name wrong:

Here's the truth: the rage over Christina Aguilera has little to do with her memory lapse. Many didn't even notice that she sang words from another line over again and made up some stuff: ""Whose broad stripes and bright stars through the perilous fight, what so proudly we watched at the twilight's last reaming." So? She forgot "o'er the ramparts we watched?" What's this bitch know about "ramparts?" Except her parents probably ate them along with goat balls.

Most of us would have trouble memorizing that song, and most of us can't sing along to it. The lyrics aren't helped along by the dodgy, octave-lurching stolen tune, the drunken British "Anacreontic Song" (you can hear it below.)

No, the fury is not really about Christina dis-honoring the song by forgetting a line, but by her ethnic over-emoting...that hackneyed Whitney Car-Alarm Houston style of braying. Everyone howled at her because of the lyric lapse because it's just not politically correct to complain that adding ten syllables where there should be one, is tiresome, moronic and in the case of "The Star Spangled Banner," an insult. We wouldn't expect a redneck hillbilly to yodel our anthem, and we'd be allowed to call that person "white trash" if it happened, but critics couldn't say "Christ, Christina and her black-influenced pseudo-soul vibrato and syllable extensions suck." So they could only flog her for messing up a few words...a gleeful excuse for what they really disliked...the unspeakable sin of monkeying around with the melody. Simple words like "night" and "wave" shouldn't be tormented vocally like a child twisting a worm and then pulling it apart. PS, singing a line loud and long (as Streisand and Garland did) is also a very poor substitute for conveying a lyric's emotions.

If you showed up at a Beethoven festival, invited to play the "Moonlight Sonata," and you did it in reggae style, or played it on a bent saw or a collection of half-full bottles, you'd be disrespecting the memory of Beethoven. If you're in concert, and you feel like doing your own interpretation or butchery, fine…you're doing it on your own time in front of your own audience. Otherwise…do it THE RIGHT WAY.

PS, "The Star Spangled Banner" should not be sung at stupid events. Who the fuck said that before two teams of millionaires play a game — a GAME — we need to hear about how our flag managed not to get destroyed by gunfire during one lousy battle in one of our country's many, many wars? How about boxing matches? Some guy from America fights some guy from another country…and the national anthems are sung (badly) just to incite the fans toward racial hatred! This is a sports event between two men, not some symbolic battle over whose country is best.

Lastly, if a patriotic song HAS to be sung, hire an inspiring presence. I think of Ronan Tynan, who stands up…on artificial legs…to sing "God Bless America" at stadium events. I think of the late Robert Merrill and his great version of the "Star Spangled Banner" at baseball games. He brought opera-style singing to people who'd never know it otherwise, and his is probably the best version of the song ever recorded. We don't need our national anthem to be an "American Idol" event where the more inappropriate syllables you add, the more street cred you're supposed to get.

Here now, the "Anacreontic Song" and its sobered-up sister, "The Star Spangled Banner." Why even bother with a download of Christina's performance? Because it justifies the rant above, and it could be useful if you've run out of Haley's M.O. or Syrup of Ipecac. You can follow along on the lines YOU don't know by heart either:

"Oh, say, can you see, by the dawn's early light, 
What so proudly we hail'd at the twilight's last gleaming? 
Whose broad stripes and bright stars, through the perilous fight, 
O'er the ramparts we watch'd, were so gallantly streaming?

AGUILERA NATIONAL ANTHEM 2011

John Gower - THE ANACREONTIC SONG, original music later used for Key's poem "The Star Spangled Banner."

DAVID FRYE - 1934-2011 Nixon's Worst Enemy

2011-01-29T14:52:00.000-08:00

Just how obscure was David Frye when he died? The news wasn't made public for nearly a week. The New York Times broke the news today, in their Saturday, January 29th edition: "David Frye...died on Monday in Las Vegas, where he lived. He was 77. The cause was cardiopulmonary arrest, a spokeswoman for the Clark County coroner’s office in Nevada said." No publicist, no manager, no friends, no wife to report the news? It comes from the coroner's office?

I have no idea whether Frye was actually working in Vegas lately, or what minor venue it may have been. All I can really tell you about the guy, is that he was extremely intense, even by the standards of a nightclub comic, and at his peak of fame when he should've been blazing with confidence, he'd sometimes pause on the talk show couch, grab for photos in his inside jacket pocket, and have to see a celebrity's face to psych himself to do an impression. He seemed to have no personality when he wasn't doing the voices, but when he was on stage, he was a powerful performer satiric and acidic. He was manic when he launched into his furious Nixon, his clownish LBJ, a Porky Pig-like Hubert Humphrey or a slithery, glowing-eyed William F. Buckley Jr., contorting his face to match the vocal.

Frye's star dimmed 37 years ago…his last major album was "Richard Nixon: A Fantasy" in 1973. Your sample below is from that album, an incredibly brutal kick when Nixon was down, which envisioned him jailed and on death row! If it was any consolation, Ted Kennedy's recent scandal was treated with even more gleeful venom. What a masterpiece of "gone too far" comedy that record was. Oddly enough, there's still so much interest in Nixon that Frye's two Elektra albums have been re-issued on CD, and his "Fantasy" also re-issued, just re-titled "He's Back: David Frye Is Nixon," which no doubt hoodwinked some who already had the vinyl into buying it again, thinking it was a new release.

Frye's bad luck was to see Nixon disappear, replaced by a succession of bland Presidents that were much more suited to a sappy mild mimic like Rich Little. Gerald Ford, Jimmy Carter, Ronald Reagan…they kept Rich Little rich while Frye's heat turned ice cold. Frye issued an indie Reagan album in 1980 that went nowhere. In 1998, when everybody imitated Bill Clinton, Frye issued a pointless comedy CD on a small indie label. By then few cared about comedy audio, and they could get their fix of Clinton via a look-alike on Leno's show, and Darrell Hammond on "Saturday Night Live." If David did either George H. or George W, there's literally no record of it on CD or mp3.

Las Vegas is a place where fat-asses with long memories go to see people they remembered from 30 years ago. That would explain Wayne Newton, wouldn't it? A lot of comics who became popular in the 60's stayed active there, in some small room or other, and a tourist might be delighted to check a Vegas newspaper and discover he could see Pete Barbutti or Shecky Greene. So I'm assuming David moved to Vegas and used it as his base, able to get some bookings there when there were none to be had in the gradually decreasing nightclubs around the country. Fact is, nightclubs ceased to be lucrative for even a Don Rickles or Bob Newhart, forcing them to play casinos or stay home.

David Frye's YouTube channel turned up only a few months ago. The site says he joined on November 6, 2010. Up went some clips from 3 decades ago. I don't think David actually was posting this stuff himself, because I noticed a YouTube notation that he logged in "1 day ago" when I visited today, January 29th. And David died January 24th.

I hope he wasn't looking at his YouTube page too closely, and seeing some of the "compliments" left for him. Imagine how he felt reading David Snyder of Buffalo New York open with: "If you've ever done Phil Silvers, you'll understand this: "Glad to see ya!" Uh, yeah, a comedian likes nothing better than to be greeted by another comic's catch phrase. Not to mention the fact that Frye was noted for doing politicians and intense actors, not has-been top bananas from the 50's. Snyder ended: "pleased that you're still alive and active." Why that's just what any performer in his 70's would love to hear: "You're still alive!" Sorry it's no longer true.

DAVID FRYE does a Folsom Prison/Johnny Cash on RICHARD NIXON

JACK "JIMMY OLSEN" LARSON DIDN'T SING "ROACHES"

2011-01-29T08:28:00.000-08:00

For TV fans, there's only one Jack Larson, the personable actor who played Jimmy Olsen on "Superman" in the 50's.

But what about those dusty 45's that say "Jack Larson" on the label? Haven't record stores jacked the price to $20 or $30 because "It's the guy from "Superman?" Didn't the album notes for the CD "Hollywood Hi-Fi" include "Roaches" and state it was sung by the actor from the "Superman" show?? Yes! Yes! Which only proves that the average record seller is a dope, and not everyone who writes album notes does research.

Illfolks exposes the truth. There are TWO guys named Jack Larson, a robust young singer and a mildly husky-voiced actor. While people often talk one way and sing another (Jim Nabors comes to mind), anyone hearing "Jack Larson" sing would instantly have to doubt if it was the same guy who played Jimmy Olsen. Here's the facts...

In 1959, Fraternity Records released a single by Jack Larson, a year after "Superman" left the air. Larson the actor was born in 1928 and was 30 when the show ended its run in 1958. So how could Jack Larson be marketed as a teen idol? He couldn't and wasn't. You can bet if actor Larson suddenly began singing, he would've capitalized on his "Jimmy Olsen" fame, and all the books about Superman and George Reeves would've mentioned his foray into music. They don't.

Let's check Billboard, August 24, 1959. There's an article about "the signing of Jack Larson singer-impressionist of the U.S. Army's "Rollin' Along" show, to a six-year management and recording pact." No mention of "Superman." The article continues: "Larson, who for two years in a row was voted the No. 1 talent in the Army show, had his initial release on the Frat label last week, a novelty tune titled "Roaches." Flip is "Little Miss Starry Eyes." He opens for Lee Zeiger at the Casino Royal in Washington, Monday night…Larson is also set for a spot on Ed Sullivans' all-Army show August 30. He winds up his Army hitch Tuesday…"

The singing Larson was given many a chance at Fraternity. Following Roaches/Little Miss Starry Eyes, there was the 1960 release Autumn Hurt/Drifting Down the River, and in 1961 two attempts. First came "Hammer Bell Song" (a variation on "If I Had a Hammer") backed with the novelty "The Way She Laughs," which has the lines: "I don’t know what’s the matter with this heart of mine, I’m in love with a girl that looks like Frankenstein”

Jack's second single for 1961 was "Back to School Blues" (b/w Lonely Part of Town) which was the number he sang in the 1961 movie "Teenage Millionaire." After one more single for Fraternity in 1962 ("The Beauty"), Jack got a brief major label deal with Dot, issuing Do Yourself a Favor/We're Goin' Back. My research leads me to the Billboard issue of April 7th, 1962, when the deal was announced:

Article title: "Dot to Release some Fraternity Album and Singles Record Product." And the details: "Fraternity's president, Harry Carlson, announced his deal with Randy Wood of Dot. The idea was for the indie label to get better distribution…Carlson, whose Fraternity label began operation in 1954, will retain his rights to the Fraternity tag, but two of his top artists, comedian-singer Jack Larson and the Charmaines, femme trio, will also appear on the Dot label. Two singles, one by Larson…and another by the Charmaines….will be released by Dot around mid-April…The lot of the smaller independent record firm is becoming increasingly difficult and the sale of the album catalog to Dot is the only thing that made it possible for the Fraternity label to continue in business….Some Fraternity titles, including a few of Larson's, were released in the UK on the Top Rank label…."

Young Larson's last memorable show biz moment came in November of 1963, when he deliberately sang off key and did hack comic impressions on a "Dick Van Dyke Show" episode called "Big Max Calvada."

Sheldon Leonard played the title character, a gangster who is seeking a nightclub booking for his nephew, talent-challenged entertainer Kenny Dexter (played by Jack Larson, Illfolks screen captures to your right).

So there you have it. You read it here first, at Illfolks. The "Hollywood Hi-Fi" CD issued a few years ago, with liner notes claiming Jack "Jimmy Olsen" Larson sang "Roaches" is wrong. So is the 1994 book "Celebrity Vocals" from Goldmine. Pretty sad that two authors didn't think to question what they were hearing, or wonder if there were two guys named "Jack Larson." Back in the late 90's the actor Jack Larson was very easy to reach (I have a few autographed photos to prove it) and he would've written back if asked a question intended for publication. Sadder that a CD company and Goldmine failed to catch the error and neither had an editor or proofreader good at fact-checking. And most surprising of all: this is one of the few times that information you find on an Internet blog actually has the correct information! Illfolks is RIGHT and the other two are WRONG. Jeepers, do yourself a favor and hear the singing "Jack Larson" sing "Do Yourself a Favor."

JACK LARSON - DO YOURSELF A FAVOR

JOHNNY CARSON didn't sing YOU TALK TO MUCH. Did he?

2011-01-29T08:25:00.000-08:00

You can find several 45 rpm singles with "Johnny Carson" singing. Sometimes they'll turn up on eBay or in a record store with a hefty price tag and the notation: "Rare: The Tonight Show host sings!" Is it really the King of Late Night singing??

In a word, NO.

These songs from the early 60's were by a young British singer who just happened to have the same name. Since both were rising stars at the time, and in different countries, and technically different professions, no manager or agent was demanding that one of the two change his name to avoid confusion.

Carson's "You Talk Too Much" was released in November of 1960 in England, well before Nebraska's Johnny took over "The Tonight Show" from Jack Paar. In fact, by the time our Johnny began his historic 30 year run on late night TV, the British Johnny was through, having issued just two other singles for Fontana (Fraulein/I Wish It Were You and Train of Love/First Proposal) and a few for Ember, the 1962 Teenage Bachelor/ Are You Anyone's Girl and the 1963 "The Tears Came Rolling Down/ One Track Mind").

If Johnny Carson, king of the late night talk show, actually did cover "You Talk Too Much," it might've been pretty good. Sadly, though Johnny was a very good drummer and didn't hide that fact, he was very sensitive about his singing voice. He once did some impromptu song early in his talk show days and the audience began to titter, anticipating parody lyrics. From then on, Carson almost never sang on his show, and if he did, he made sure the audience knew it was a joke. Coaxed by Pearl Bailey into singing along on "Our Love is Here To Stay," he quickly lapsed into a parody of debonair lounge singers. One night he came out as the "Rhinestone Cowboy," singing the hit song in his imitation-"Reginald Van Gleason" nasal tenor. Toward the end of his run, a more confident Johnny did a good parody of Willie Nelson, with new lyrics for a comic duet with Julio Iglesias. And finally, on that last show with Bette Midler, he felt comfortable enough to sing along in his real voice.

Heeeeere's the British Johnny Carson doing a fair cover version of "You Talk Too Much," but it would not have gotten him a booking on "The Tonight Show."

the British
JOHNNY CARSON - YOU TALK TOO MUCH

BOB DYLAN: JITTERBUG RAG BY BLIND BOY FULLER

2011-01-29T08:23:00.000-08:00

Bob Dylan's wide-ranging musical and film scholarship has left his fans frantically leafing through hundreds of books and articles to check footnotes that explain his references. His song lines often include quotes from others, and fans are fascinated by obscure name-dropping or references to dusty items like the "Jitterbug Rag."

Sometimes Bob expects you to nod and wink as he turns a favorite film quote into a song lyric. For example, in "Seeing the Real You at Last," he opens with "Well, I thought that the rain would cool things down. But it looks like it don't." Which you should recognize as his homage to a quote in Hitchcock's "Rear Window," as spoken by Thelma Ritter: "I thought the rain would cool things down--all it did was make the heat wet." Later in the song: "I don't mind a reasonable amount of trouble," which is an exact quote from "The Maltese Falcon," and I'm sure Bob's intentional short-hand in making a tight connection between himself and the cool and stoical "Sam Spade" as played by Humphrey Bogart.

Lots of times, it seems Dylan's stream of conscious leads him to drop a name, a place, or a person into a line, and the effect or symbolism is more emotional, like a Dali painting, than intellectual. In his brilliant, Oscar-winning song "Things Have Changed," he drops in "Jitterbug Rag." But first he juxtaposes all kinds of "fight or flight" images as he portrays a man in conflict, trying to convince himself "I used to care," when it's clear he still does. His conflicts include contradictory solutions ("Gonna get low down, gonna fly high") as well as chilling equations that shouldn't add up but do: "All the truth in the world adds up to one big lie." Yet another paradox: "I'm love with a woman who don't even appeal to me."

He gave a great performance on the Academy Awards show, starting off by glaring into the camera, turning his face to view us with his left eye, then his right…only to later note in his acceptance speech that his song didn't "turn a blind eye to human nature."

Here's that particularly strange set of contradictions in the song: "Gonna take dancing lessons do the jitterbug rag/Ain't no shortcuts, gonna dress in drag." Of what help is learning to do an ancient dance like the Jitterbug? And how can drag (especially Bob in drag!) possibly fool anyone or be the answer to a problem? Well, the song is, like the best of Dylan, open to lots of interpretations, and even in abstract, has a lot of fascinating imagery, and there had to be a reason for him to dredge up Blind Boy Fuller's "Jitterbug Rag."

Most anyone would agree the song has to do with panic over being close to death, trying to determine what's worth fighting for and what isn't, and the hell of optimism and pessimism dueling for the possession of a man's heart and mind. In this song, the optimism is scant, as he thinks of himself on the gallows, with the only alternative to a broken neck being "all hell" breaking loose. The spectre of futility looms large: "The human mind can only stand so much. You can't win with a losing hand." And what made this song's protagonist look generations into the past for salvation via the "Jitterbug Rag?"

Below, "The Jitterbug Rag" by Blind Boy Fuller. Listen to it as Bob did, and see if you find an answer, or if it makes you want to take dancing lessons or dress in drag! So take this download, brother, may it serve you well.

JITTERBUG RAG (Blind Boy Fuller)

VERNE LANGDON joins the CARNIVAL OF SOULS

2011-01-29T08:21:00.000-08:00

Striking a pose somewhat reminiscent of Lon Chaney Jr., you see Verne Langdon on the cover of his 2004 CD "Out of Love." It's on top of a few "Famous Monsters" paperbacks because, well, maybe he'd have wanted it that way…a reminder of his friendship with Forry Ackerman, with whom he produced and wrote the Decca album "Boris Karloff and Friends." Another album that horror fans love, is "Poe with Pipes," narration by John Carradine, to organ music composed and performed by Verne. Verne set up an indie record label to market Carradine, Jaye P. Morgan and others…and issued his own solo material as well. More recently, Verne continued in the narration field by supplying underlying music, and sentimental words, for tracks recorded by Jonathan Winters, including "Old Folks." And so Illfolks salutes our friend Verne, who had many other interests aside from music, and had a pretty creative life in, out, and sometimes outre, of the usual corridors of the entertainment world.

Verne was a make-up artist expert at both horror masks and drag (if that isn't the same thing). The monster masks he made, marketed with Don Post, were sold in every vintage issue of "Famous Monsters" magazine. He was also an avid fan of professional wrestling going back to the days of Gorgeous George and everyone's favorite harridan, the Fabulous Moolah. When he wasn't self-publishing nostalgic, McKuen-esque croons or attending some monster convention with Forry Ackerman, he was promoting his "Slammers Gym," where the burly and the loony could grapple and grunt. At 6'2" and 250 pounds, Langdon was certainly able to perform in the squared circle, almost with the grace he used in performing music on calliopes, pianos and organs. For this blog, the emphasis is on the latter.

Verne (September 15, 1941-January 1, 1911) was known to some in the blogworld as one of those "unreasonable" guys who filed DMCA's and "ruined the fun" of people who wanted to give away everybody's music because "music should be free," and the performers should make their money selling t-shirts. Or something. Verne didn't quite understand why some "fans" on the Internet were so dedicated in depriving him of income, or giving away entire albums instead of a sample track and a few words about the song and the artist.

I remember Verne shaking his head over a couple of bloggers giving away dozens and dozens of his cult albums, even the weird "Dr. Druid's Seance" novelty-narration disc and his stuff as "J. S. Bork," a kind of bastard uncle to "P.D.Q. Bach." One blogger was giving away some rare albums…to promote the CD-R copies of rarer ones he was selling at $5 a pop. A self-published author used a blog and free downloads of entire albums (on Verne and others) to call attention to himself and ask people to buy HIS stuff via Paypal. This blogger wasn't concerned if Verne lost a few dollars or if record dealers were deprived of sales.

Verne told me me how he literally called up one blogger. The reason he did, was this blogger kept re-upping the files that Verne was getting removed, and even deviously hiding the links as asterisks, or saying "e-mail me for links." The blogger was quite surprised that Verne could find him, but Internet anonymity is overrated. Verne discovered this guy was at least in his 30's, with gray hair, but still living with his parents. The blogger kept hanging up every time his mother handed him the phone and he heard Verne on the other end. "I just kept calling him back," he told me, "and I told his mother that he had to be a man and speak to me." Of course Verne didn't get any apology, just an indignant huff that if Verne's albums were given away, it was "good publicity," and if there were 100 or 200 Rapidshare downloads per album, why, that had to mean that a few people who bought the mp3 file would be delighted enough to buy the CD. Right?

As he got older, Verne gave up on pursuing the frustrating and humiliating game of trying to reason with people who felt entitled to give away music, and felt anyone who disagreed (including the creator of the music) should be subject to e-mail spam and other cyber-revenges and jihad. So Verne ignored the album photo & link guys who demanded "nice comments" for their "hard work." He stopped falling for the line "copyright owner can contact me by e-mail for link removal." Right. Except the blogger would e-mail back, "How do I know you're really Verne Langdon?" Meanwhile, if other rights owners simply had the file removed, the blogger would write: "Why didn't that prick have the courtesy to contact me directly, and ASK me to have the link removed?" No, Verne stopped dealing with the rationalizations, ego and ignorance of people like that.

Fortunately we don't have quite so many bloggers of this type around anymore. For one thing, blogs get taken down now, not just links. For another, there are so many blogs, it's hard to be a "star" and get zillions of "nice comments," which is what motivates most wanna-be's and "bathrobe boys" who are jealous of fame and having to actually be creative to earn it. So we've seen less intellectual property-wearing drag queens…adorning themselves in stolen goods to look glamorous. Many of these fools realize that all they've done is waste their time for a misplaced feeling of power, no better than slum dogs who write their graffiti tag all over toilet stalls and tenement walls. How ridiculous to fool yourself into thinking you're famous because you've got a blog for a hobby. While Verne's hardly famous, he could look back over the decades and feel like he accomplished something. He was paid for his work (blogs not withstanding) and had a good time being creative, finding paying outlets for his talents, and earning the respect of a lot of people who knew him by name, not some blog pseudonym or graffiti tag.

In the end, you can say that Verne Langdon was his own Renaissance man. He wanted to have his own radio show and in the 50's and 60's he did, including "Langdon After Dark" on KLOK in California. He wanted to write and produce music, and so he did, working with Korla Pandit, Jaye P. Morgan, and others. He became a friend of Mae West's, and could approach and engage a Karloff or Carradine not as a fan, but as a collaborator. His love of fantasy included collecting life masks of great horror stars (and grumbling over the bootlegs of them on eBay). He was among the artists monkeying around with putty and hair on the film "Planet of the Apes." He created life masks (and grumbled about the cheap copies of Lorre, Price and the others on eBay), helped create fantasy displays for "Castle Dracula" and other theme parks, and worked as a make-up artist on many classic TV shows from "Outer Limits" to "Carol Burnett."

I thought enough of Verne to buy the CD version of "Out of Love." What the hell. And he said, "Bless you!" So God bless Verne, for fulfilling his own dreams, freelancing to do what interested him, getting steady work as a make-up artist, and building an eccentric record label for himself and his friends. I think Verne probably knew he wasn't much of a singer, but his straight albums of ballads and country-tinged tunes were probably part-hobby and part demos for his songwriting. After all, "Old Folks," on the "Out of Love" album was later recorded by Jonathan Winters, and quite effectively. While a Carradine track of Poe "with pipes" or an organ instrumental would be good, I thought actually hearing Verne would be a better tribute, and "Carnival of Souls" is one of his better vocals…earnest, human, and a good example of why so many considered him a talented, sensitive soul.

VERNE LANGDON - CARNIVAL OF SOULS

BEBE BARDOT - A Song to Brigitte

2011-01-19T12:19:00.000-08:00

You get a set of posts today, the 19th...for BEBE BARDOT (she was often called BB or Bebe by fans and writers), BEBE BARRON, and BEBE BARDON. The first and greatest, is of course, Bardot, who continues to be impressively awesome, in ways quite different from her "sex kitten" days.

Here's "BRIGITTE BARDOT BARDOT!" (now what was author Miguel Gustavo staring at to make him say her last name TWO TIMES). It was covered by many enthusiastic singers including De Emeralds from de Netherlands, and Rainer Bertram of Germany.

These guys must've got some Norwegian wood in their pants just from shouting "Bardot, Bardot!" (Today, some are chanting Badu, Badu, but we won't go there, girlfriend.) Her nickname "Bebe Bebe" is chanted over like bullets from beebee guns.

Following her retirement from the screen, which may have been due to listening to silly song-tributes bellowing her name, Brigitte Bardot has become a spokeswoman concerned about both the destruction of wildlife in this world, and the erosion of French culture and customs. While she's not always been politically correct, most of the time she's been right.

Some of her detractors like to show past and present pictures of Brigitte, as if to say she's not worth listening to because she's not worth looking at. They wouldn't think of demeaning a male political activist that way, but they figure it's a great way to insult a woman. Especially when they can't find a legitimate argument to make.

I have used "then and now" pictures here, because I think she's beautiful in both. At best, as a person ages, their wisdom should be compelling enough to replace any superficial beauty lost. Look at the image on the right. Does she not seem saintly? And Bless BeBe for not having the vanity to be a Botox cartoon or to think that being on the gossip page in a gown is better than being on the front page talking about issues in the real world. Which brings me to the other image...

It's an article from 2010 about the bizarre "entertainment" of hitching up a donkey and parasailing the terrified creature onto a beach to amuse tourists. Bardot, who has a wonderful animal rights foundation, seized upon this story, publicized the atrocity, and got action.She continues to use her celebrity in the best way possible, in raising money for animals, and in raising awareness of cruelty and stupidity. Perhaps this year, 40 years after the songs below were recorded, someone will offer a truly worthy musical tribute and celebration for one of the truly great ladies of our time

BRIGITTE BARDOT BARDOT (Rainer Bertram)
BRIGITTE BARDOT BARDOT (De Emeralds)

BEBE BARRON FORBIDDEN PLANET ANNE FRANCIS

2011-01-19T12:15:00.000-08:00

Bebe Barron (born Charlotte May Wind June 16 1925 – April 20 2008) along with her husband Louis Barron began experimenting with sound as soon as they got a tape recorder back in 1947. Combining sonics and cybernetics, they sampled noises, made elaborate mixes, changed speeds, used reverberation, made tape loops, and began using their weird sounds as background music. While it's become very common to hear narration with eerie effects (remember Boris Karloff's two-set "Tales of the Frightened") the Barrons pioneered the concept. Living in Greenwich Village when it was very bohemian, they mated their effects to the "out there" writers of the day including Anais Nin and Henry Miller. They also attracted the attention of such early experimentalists as John Cage. It ultimately led to their most famous work…the all-electronic soundtrack to "Forbidden Planet." The outsiders were not nominated for an Academy Award because they were not members of the musicians union, and the soundtrack was technically termed "electronic tonalities," and not "music." The Barrons departed Hollywood and remained obscure experimental musicians. Bebe Barron's last work was made in the year 2000: Mixed Emotions.

The hero and heroine in "Forbidden Planet" would ironically die within 6 weeks of each other. Leslie Nielsen passed away November 28th, and on January 2nd, Anne Francis became the first major death of the year. And while the posts of the 19th have played with the Bebe Bardot-Bebe Barron-Bebe Bardon name game, this one is really a salute and tribute to Anne.

Anne was diagnosed with lung cancer in 2007. She seemed to be in remission for a while, and fans could still get autographs from her, but about eight months ago, she announced on her website that she was once again too ill to add to the blog on her site, or to answer her mail.

All I can tell you is that I wish I had been able to spend more time with Anne Francis. In my experience, she was as enigmatic and fascinating as the characters she played on the screen. Whether as "Altaira" the space girl, a doll come to life on "Twilight Zone" or even "Honey West," she was a very unusual mixture of the cool and the concrete, the ethereal and the down to earth. She could be aloof and disconnected, but she also had a very spiritual side, as you can read in "Voice from Home, An Inner Journey," the book she published through Celestial Arts.

Out of the blue, she sent a copy to me, personalized it and added, "Hope your path is joyous." (Above, a few of the pictures she autographed for me.) She called her book "my spiritual expose. It is about our essence of being, the inexplicable reality of mysticism, psychic phenomena, and the inner works of mind and spirit which contribute to the growth of the invisible and most important part of us; hidden from the glare of lights and the camera's eye." In other words, music for which the soundtrack of "Forbidden Planet" might be excellent background.

"Forbidden Planet" remains beloved on DVD, and fortunately, "Honey West" finally was released in that format while Anne was still around and in remission. Most agree that lung cancer can be beaten if you're lucky, but one must be wary of it turning up elsewhere. For Anne, it turned up in an area where it is almost always fatal. And so it was, that she passed away from pancreatic cancer. I suppose that kind of irony…fighting one fight only to be sucker-punched, mirrors some aspects of her career. She didn't get all the breaks in the world and there weren't that many roles that specifically made use of her strengths as someone erotic but distant, tough but spiritual, elusive and yet deeply passionate. Good news: she finally scored a defining role as "Honey West," on ABC, but…bad news: the show was canceled after one year because, Anne said, ABC was happy to cheaply import a newer and younger female crime-fighting heroine, "Emma Peel" of "The Avengers."

Enjoy the soundtrack to "Forbidden Planet," which is truly one of those musical pieces that can stand alone, without the visuals from the movie. The Barrons created something very special here. Back then, experimental electronic music, especially of the classic variety, was often very boring. Of course those composers didn't have to mate music to exciting and challenging visuals, or appeal to the general public, so they weren't pushing themselves as Bebe and Louis Barron did, to meld ominous footsteps to an electric atmosphere, to create melodious machine noises, or make delicate musical pirouettes for a love scene. Each track is labeled to let you know where it appeared in the film, from the heartbeat-stalking noise of "Invisible Monster Approaches" to "Love at the Swimming Hole" between Anne Francis and Leslie Nielsen.

FORBIDDEN PLANET by THE BARRONS

Update November 2011: Rapidshare deletes files if they aren't uploaded often enough to suit them. The Main Title Theme has have been re-upped individually via a better service:

FORBIDDEN PLANET Main Title Theme by THE BARRONS

BEBE BARDON : the sexy groans of WHIPLASH!

2011-01-19T12:01:00.000-08:00

The sadomasochistic link between pain and pleasure is often symbolized by the whip. In the works of DeSade, particularly "Justine," it's the weapon of choice, especially since the ping pong paddle hadn't been invented yet. In pop culture, you'll find such movies as "The Whip and the Body," the Christopher Lee horror film that had to be re-titled in America as merely "What." WTF?? Oh yes, an earlier entry on this blog offered Genya Ravan's version of "Whipping Post," which roils with erotic heat.

Back in the late 60's a budget record label and "Bebe Bardon" whipped up the ante and created rude competition for the hit instrumental of orgasmic moans, "Je T'aime...Moi Non Plus." Too bad it was a little too much for most radio stations, but then again, Gainsbourg's song stalled outside the Top 40 due to timid programming managers around the country. The 45 rpm from Bardon was on Alshire, and she had over 100 people backing her: the 101 Strings.

The 101 Strings were actually incognito members of the Northwest German Radio Orchestra of Hamburg. They knocked out over two dozen albums in 1958 alone! Over the next ten years, they sold over 50 million discs! They originally recorded for Somerset, but owner David L. Miller sold it to Al Sherman, who re-named the label after himself (Al-Sher, get it?) Alshire re-issued the old stuff, and by the late 60's when easy listening stopped selling, they experimented with budget moog, with string versions of Beatles songs, and yes, even "Sounds of Love" albums with sexy covers.

"Bebe Bardon," their huffer and puffer (and perhaps fluffer), took her name from "Bebe" Bardot, as Brigitte was popularly known around the world. B.B. herself had recorded a groaner, the original version of "Je T'aime...Moi Non Plus," which she and Serge Gainsbourg felt was a bit too rude to release (he re-recorded it with Birken). Apparently Al Sherman and his producers and arrangers could only afford an hour in the studio with their anonymous chick, and didn't cut enough tracks for a whole album. So her output was carefully parsed over several "Sounds of Love"-type discs, each padded with generic tracks, or in one case, some awful narratives done by Joe Adams. And yes, there were the singles, starting with a "Je T'aime" knock-off called "Love At First Sight" in 1969 and progressing ultimately to "Whiplash," with erotic heebie jeebies from Bebe. All the material was credited to the 101 Strings "with special effects by Bebe Bardon."

There's no question that while most easy listening is crap, whether dweebs choose to re-name it "lounge" or not, many tracks are entertaining, and even rise to the level of greatness.

"Whiplash," is a nifty instrumental and depending on your point of view (or point of hear, actually), the "special effects" from Bebe Bardon will be lovely, lewd or laughable. Or all three. It's entertaining, that's for sure, which is more than you can say for "The 101 Strings Play Hit American Waltzes." That one's still 99 cents on eBay. The Bardon stuff…that'll set you back a lot more.

WHIPLASH moaned by BEBE BARDON

TED NUGENT: "STILL CRAZY" (Paul Simon via UDO LINDENBERG)

2011-01-19T11:57:00.000-08:00

Below, a foreign language version of "Still Crazy After All These Years," by Udo Lindenberg: "Immer noch verrückt nach all." Because you probably haven't heard it, and that's mostly what this blog is about. You can sing along if you like on the chorus: "Ich wäre zu verrückt. Immer noch crazy nach all den Jahren."

You were expecting a Ted Nugent download? No, Ted's music doesn't qualify, because it's still popular, and it's also still crap after all these years…just mindless D-list arena rock even less appealing than such wastes as Aerosmith and Kid Rock.. You can judge an artist by his audience…and if his audience is full of loudmouths, headbangers, and assholes almost too high or drunk to stay in their seat…it's a pretty good sign that this isn't music to actually listen to, just the soundtrack to play loudly over the sound of throwing up a six-pack of Four Loko.

For a few years I had a radio show at midnight, which allowed me to play the kind of "ill" music you find on this blog. Or truly alternative rock from a Ron Nagle or Judy Henske. Not to mention usual suspects like Zappa. But the times I subbed in the daytime, I'd play "mainstream" music…Fleetwood Mac, or a decent example of arena rock: Bob Seger. But no, I stayed well away from Nugent, just on album jacket alone, where he often looked like the psych ward patient who was committed after going around biting the testicles off neighborhood dogs.

Some people like his stuff? Fine. If they play his music and it keeps them banging their heads against a wall rather than beating their children, great. Somebody needs The Nuge's music after 8 boring hours in an ear-deafening factory hammering bolts and tightening nuts…go ahead. Live and let live. There's plenty of great music to post on a blog without griping about something the great unwashed happen to love. I had no idea if the guy was still alive until the other day. That's when I saw an editorial written by him for The Washington Times (not to be confused with The Washington Post). And at the risk of a pretty long entry that nobody might even read, I felt it required rebuttal.

His topic? "Be Prepared for Evil." Which I think was how his record publicists promoted his albums.

In the days following the murders in Arizona, most sensible people have called for an end to toxic hate rhetoric, to using gun sites on political websites and phrases like "Don't retreat, Reload." Obama gave a 30 minute speech in which he asked people to "do better." There was even some faint talk about allocating more funds to help the mentally ill, and ways of keeping citizens safe from gun violence.

Nougat-brained Nugent doesn't feel that way. His editorial insists the only thing to be learned from these ever-increasing incidents of mass-killings and berserk gunmen running wild, is…to "be prepared." Meaning, pack some heat and be ready to use it. Here's the complete text:

There is evil among us. Always has been, always will be. As I write this, in the past four days, a high school assistant principal in Omaha was shot and killed and the principal wounded. Democratic Rep. Gabrielle Giffords of Arizona and 19 other Americans were gunned down at a constituent meeting being held at grocery store in Tucson.

Federal Judge John M. Roll, a 9-year-old girl and several others are dead. A dozen more, including Mrs. Giffords, are gravely wounded.

In addition to this slaughter and the gunning down of the high school principals in Omaha, scores of other law-abiding Americans were murdered, raped and beaten this past week. These victims didn't make the national news, but they are victims nonetheless.
Dozens and dozens of additional Americans will become victims next week. And the week after. And so on.

It is hard - almost impossible - for people of good will to fathom the depth of evil that resides in the soulless monsters who commit these senseless, violent and deadly crimes.

Regardless of whether we can fathom the evil and carnage that some rabid monsters do, we must be prepared and ready to respond to evil at a moment's notice. We can't depend on law enforcement, professional and brave as its members are, to protect us from murdering, psychotic monsters.

These murdering psychotics have slaughtered innocent Americans at shopping malls, schools, restaurants, churches and courthouses. And now a grocery store parking lot. No place is safe.

I'm not interested in understanding why these deranged, rabid monsters commit carnage. Trying to make sense from complete nonsense is a waste of time.

I'm also not naive enough to believe that we can prevent these mad dogs from gaining access to weapons, though I adamantly believe we must do what we can to keep these lunatics from doing so.

What I do believe is that, sadly, another lunatic will commit more mass carnage - maybe not tomorrow, next week or even next year. But it will happen again, just as it did at Luby's cafeteria in Texas, at Virginia Tech, at a McDonald's in San Diego, at Columbine High School in Colorado and at a shopping mall in Omaha.

Knowing this, we must do what is prudent to protect ourselves and our loved ones from these vicious monsters. That is our duty and responsibility as husbands and wives, parents and caring people of good will in our communities.

There is evil among us, and it will again attempt to execute evil, but the good must always be ready to conquer evil if our society and culture are to progress. Never before has the need for a higher level of awareness and a warrior mindset been more important. The days of disconnected unawareness should be over.

We can still be relaxed and comfortable, but mentally prepared and more tuned in to our surroundings. Be prepared to stop evil in its tracks and live. There is no other choice.

Ted Nugent is an American rock 'n' roll, sporting and political activist icon. He is the author of "Ted, White and Blue: The Nugent Manifesto" and "God, Guns & Rock 'N' Roll" (Regnery Publishing).

Huh? Aside from promoting himself as an "icon," and as some right-wing gun-loving crazy who might deserve his own talk radio show, his big idea is "be prepared." An editorialist is supposed to offer ideas and solutions. All he's saying is we must "be prepared to stop evil in its tracks and live." So how do we do that? The man is a huge gun nut. So I think we can agree that his answer is: MORE GUNS. How else do you stop a Jared Loughner in his tracks? It's too late to reason with him, right? He's been allowed to a) get through the mental health system, and b) get a weapon of mass destruction because no background check or law prevented him. So no, let's not try and strengthen gun control laws, or laws that might make it mandatory for someone kicked out of school to get therapy and medication. No, Ted's answer is we should all pack heat! We should all "be prepared" by anticipating a gunman will open fire at any moment, and fire back.

I'll agree with Ted Nugent up to a point. I think the 2nd amendment is worthy. As much as I loathe it, hunters should be able to have their sport, especially if it involves animals that are overpopulating the landscape. I also think gun fans should be able to enjoy target practice. And I also believe that anyone who owns a home, would have to be pretty naive not to worry about a break-in. Excellent security alarms might help, but being able to reach for a gun when there's noises downstairs or at the window is not unreasonable. But fools keep their guns where their kids can play with them. Fools don't always have the maturity to cool off before grabbing a weapon and going after somebody or even shooting themselves. Fools don't need a machine gun or a Glock. Fools often shoot first and ask questions later…the burglar shot as he walks onto the property at night might turn out to be the next-door neighbor who was only coming by because he ran out of Maalox.

Think about this. Even the well-trained police make mistakes and shoot the wrong person, and they were trained to show restraint under pressure and practice on the firing range enough to be accurate. What if a few people at Safeway had guns? They would've been shooting each other. We would've had more casualties. Somebody pointing a gun at Jared Loughner might've been mistaken for the assassin and shot. The tragedy only would've had more victims. And when Ted says gun incidents will happen again, he's right. The other day in California, some kid shot a schoolmate in the head. Why? He did not secure his weapon (as Harry Brown would say). He had no business having a gun. It was in his backpack and it went off. Tell me, Ted, what the fuck are school kids supposed to do in a classroom? "Be prepared" by hiding under their desks? Should one of them have also been carrying a gun and shot down the kid who had fired accidentally?

The Nuge wrote: "We can't depend on law enforcement" and that we need "a warrior mindset." Yeah. Mark David Chapman had "a warrior mindset." But hey, it meant that from 1980 on, there would be a bigger market for new Ted Nugent albums, since there would be no more from John Lennon.

People who are irrational will rationalize every reason NOT to do the right thing. As in: Oh, if you ban guns the crazies will make bombs instead, or poison the water supply." And "If we ban an Uzi or a Glock, next thing you know, we won't even be allowed a Daisy air rifle." And on and on.

The reality is that only a few extra laws and a little extra government money in the right place would've prevented the Arizona tragedy. Jared's school fortunately had the legal right to throw him out...but should've also had the right to contact mental health providers to get him evaluated. And there should've been enough government money for him to get medication if he couldn't afford it.

Want more? The crime would've been prevented if there were laws allowing gun dealers to turn down somebody the Army rejected and who computer records showed to be under treatment for mental problems. And more: if gun control laws banned 31-clip magazines in all 50 states, Jared may have had a very tough time finding the black market weapon of his dreams. How about legalizing prostitution? If this guy got laid once in a while, he may not have been posing in a G-string and fondling a gun and taking his frustration out on a female politician who happened to be rather attractive.

The notion that fighting a crazy by being crazy yourself, is crazy. And Ted Nugent is so fucking crazy he could probably listen to Udo Lindenberg and not realize the song is in a foreign language. To someone as bat-shit crazy as Nugent, it would sound perfectly normal.
Immer noch verrückt nach all Paul Simon sung by Udo Lindenberg

HAPPY NEW YEAR - Randy Newman Beverley Martyn via Denny Cordell

2011-01-09T10:18:00.001-08:00

No, you can't expect a totally joyful New Year's song when it's written by Randy Newman, sung by moody Beverley Martyn, and produced by the grandly messed up Denny Cordell (who also worked with both The Moody Blues and Procol Harum). Cordell certainly reaches another peak here, with an over-peaked wall of sound that makes you wonder how much is intentional and how much is ineptitude. Like a running back storming downfield with the help of a savage team mate hurling blocks and pushing defensive players out of the way, Martyn snarls her way forward behind a pounding piano.

As to the perps here. Denny Cordell, who may have reached his critical peak with Procol Harum's "Shine on Brightly" album, went on to form Shelter Records with Leon Russell, and work with Joe Cocker, Phoebe Snow and later The Cranberries. He died in 1995 and his son Tarka committed suicide in 2008 after making a debut album called "Wide Awake." Fans of Randy Newman are rejoicing that a lot of 60's versions of his songs (most of them never covered by Randy himself) have turned up on two great compilation albums, "On Vine Street" and "Bless You California." I bought both, as they're well worth the import price, and if you don't support the labels that are taking the time to dig into the vaults and re-master obscurities, all you'll ever get would be "Lost Jukebox" scratchy pieces of mp3 shit that also offer no information on the origin or the authors, or any interview quotes about the release.

Beverley Kutner was the former lead singer for The Levee Breakers with Mac McGann and Johnny Joyce, and became one of the first solo acts signed to the new Deram label in 1966. It seemed she couldn't miss with a song penned by Randy Newman, back-up musicians including Jimmy Page and John Paul Jones, and released without her dowdy last name. But "Happy New Year" by Beverly didn't chart well, and neither did a follow-up in 1967 written by Donovan called "Museum." She would name-check Donovan by smartly calling out, "Good morning Mr. Leitch, have you had a busy day," on Paul Simon's track "Fakin' It." Things got a lot less fake when she met and married John Martyn in 1969, and the folk duo released two critically praised albums, and a particularly well loved song called "Primrose Hill." The trail runs cold after that, not helped by John Martyn being cold and abusive, leading to divorce. Beverley staged a bit of a comeback in 2001 with "No Frills," saw "Primrose Hill" sampled (and hopefully there were royalties) by Fat Boy Slim on the re-titled "North West Three," and is rumored to have completed a new album.

HAPPY NEW YEAR Beverley

RUST SLEEPS: Brian Rust Dies. Lesley Sarony Ain't it Glad to be Blooming Well Dead

2011-01-09T09:23:00.000-08:00

Brian Rust (March 19, 1922 – January 5, 2011) was a name known to dedicated music hunters. If you were serious about 78rpm discs and cylinders, and wanted to find out what you might be missing on a particular artist…you spent the big bucks to get one of his discographies. He was one of the top researchers in his field, a banker whose hobby was the "Goldmine" of collecting old records. In the 40's he got a dream job working at the BBC Gramophone Library, and in 1951 he lugged a suitcase full of rare British 78's to America so he could sell and trade them with collectors and pay for his Greyhound bus tickets and hotels and complete his book research. His first discography, "Jazz Records," was expanded and revised over the years, ultimately reaching a sixth edition in 2002 as "Jazz and Ragtime Records."

Most of his books were, and are, very expensive. They were done for publishing companies such as Praeger that specialized in library sales. Libraries, now closing and dying thanks to the Internet, were vital to niche publishers of discographies and text books. Rust's books couldn't sell 10,000 copies at $5 each, but could sell 1,000 copies at $50 each thanks to libraries willing to pay for reference books. This was not a way for an author to get rich, but at least there was token payment and a legitimate, beautiful edition as the reward. Some dedicated fans who'd routinely pay big sums to find that rare 78rpm, didn't mind paying a big price for a Rust discography that would lead them to titles they didn't even know existed.

A quick check of the Internet market reveals that Rust's out of print, small-print-run books are even more high-priced than ever. $85 will get you a volume of "The American Dance Band Discography 1917 1942," or "Jazz Records 1897 1942. 4th revised and enlarged edition," and $95 will get you "The American Record Label Book," and $100 can get you Brian's book on "King Joe Oliver" or "Discography of Okeh Records." For $125 you can get "Gramophone Records of the First World War, An HMV Catalogue." For $150, "London Musical Shows On Record 1897-1976" or the "Columbia Master Book Discography," or one of my favorites, "British Music Hall On Record."

In his honor, Rustbooks Publishing was created, and they offer "American Dance Bands on Record and Film" (1915-1942) an astonishing 5 volume 5,000 page reference work that amasses 35 years of research and sells for $625. Yes. That was no typo. $625. No doubt library sales account for most purchases, but those individuals who bought the set are obviously very serious about music and take pride in owning the books.

Rustbooks does not seem to be very interested in putting out a Kindle edition for $50. Perhaps it's because they're "old school," or they know that if they did, that helpful blogs, torrents and forums would give away copies, and sales would be almost nil. Perhaps they also think that books should be treasured and placed on a shelf, not reduced to a blip on a hard drive. Rustbooks doesn't seem to agree with the piglets of the world who say, "We think it's worth having, but not paying for, so indulge us or we'll cyber-hack you, list-bomb your e-mail, wreck your website, and steal your shit anyway with Sharebee and a websites in Communist Croatia and Russia to do it. And have a nice day selling a t-shirt or something."

One of the kings of 78rpm novelty songs was Leslie Sarony (January 22, 1897-February 12 1985). Although unknown to the average music fan today, many of Sarony's songs are timeless, still great fun to hear, and one of them ("Jollity Farm") was covered by the Bonzo Dog band. While many a British Music Hall performer who recorded in the 20's and 30's died in the 40's or simply retired in the television age, Sarony did not. He appeared on "Nearest and Dearest" and "I Didn't Know You Cared" in the U.K. The Monty Python troupe were fans, and the grand old man turned up for a bit part in "Monty Python's Meaning of Life."

Wouldn't it be loverly if the late Mr. Sarony welcomed Brian Rust to the hereafter, and sang him the classic..."Ain't it Grand to be Blooming Well Dead..."

Leslie Sarony: AIN'T IT GRAND TO BE BLOOMIN' WELL DEAD

Download or listen on line. No capcha codes. No porn ads. No percentage going to the blogger for his "hard work." The hard work was done by the artist.

New Year: It's My Party - Helen Shapiro Paris Sisters

2011-01-09T08:50:00.000-08:00

Welcome to 2011, and for many, the year went downhill with the ball dropping in Times Square and 5,000 blackbirds dropping in Arkansas. Nine days in, and it's the usual political ineptness, economic catastrophes, and mindless mass-slayings with politicians shrugging off gun control legislation even as one their own was gunned down in Arizona.

Well, as Lesley Gore learned many years ago, any party can turn into a disaster, and if the party is the Republican, Democratic, Tory, Conservative, Labour, or Whig...there's a good chance you'll end up crying.

Gore's 1962 hit about a jilted girl crying at her party, was written by, oddly enough, three guys: John Cluck, Wally Gold and Herb Weiner. Soulful Barbara Jean English cut a demo of it, but demo singers were rarely taken seriously (she would later mount a decent career). The song was handed to British songbird Helen Shapiro, and also to producers Phil Spector and Quincy Jones. Phil had one of his girl-groups record it while Quincy masterfully chose it for unknown teen Lesley Gore and gave it a throbbing pop spin.

Gore's version became a huge hit, because it deserved to be. Many times two or more versions of a song were released at the same time and the better one won. She's never been given enough credit for being one of the perfect voices for teen angst (and the reverse, as heard on the bitter "Don't Make Me Over" and bitch-slapping "Judy's Turn to Cry.")

To say Gore's version is best doesn't imply that other versions aren't valid, and that some will be more appealing to a few listeners. Shapiro's way differs from Gore. And so does the simpering, whispering, hurt take from the Paris Sisters. No matter how it's sung, the message is the same...at the happiest moment, tragedy can strike. Or to quote a line from a song by Andy Bown, "it's just a spiral from contentment to despair." Happy New Year.

HELEN SHAPIRO - ITS MY PARTY

PARIS SISTERS - ITS MY PARTY

Groucho Marx fave: STAY DOWN WHERE YOU BELONG - HENRY BURR 1915

2010-12-29T07:09:00.000-08:00

When the somewhat frail Groucho Marx made his "comeback," sparked by companion Erin Fleming and such devotees as Dick Cavett and Marvin Hamlisch, he briefly toured in a one-man show. Released by A&M cobbled from several tapes (as Groucho wasn't always on target at every performance with every song or anecdote), the program sounded like a triumph. Old Julius was getting stampeding applause just for mentioning the names of old movies. Every anecdote and witticism was treasured (and most deserved to be) and a big revelation was his choice of songs. Naturally he included crowd-pleasers written or co-written by his friend Harry Ruby, but he dipped into nostalgia for some numbers he remembered others singing in vaudeville or on 78rpm.

One of those: "Stay Down Where You Belong," is by the usually optimistic Irving Berlin. It's about The Devil himself, talking to his son about how much nicer it is in Hell than on Earth. A song that would've been a little too grim for Rufus T. Firefly to sing in "Duck Soup," it's an anti-war piece that includes these lines, which Groucho sometimes reprised for his audience in an encore coda: "They're breaking the heart of mothers, making butchers out of brothers. You'll find more hell up there than there is down below."

While the song was also covered by Tiny Tim (it appears on "God Bless," 1968) the original's been an obscurity since 1915, when it was recorded by one of the great stars of the era, Henry Burr (born Harry McClaskey in Canada, January 15, 1882 - April 6, 1941). Burr was one of the busiest performers in the acoustic days of brittle black shellac, making discs faster than clumsy people could break them. Scholars are still unsure how many sides Burr recorded…estimates are 3,000-5,000. Aside from being a soloist, he sang duets with Ada Jones, Albert Campbell, Louise McMahon and many others, and was a key member of the Sterling Trio and the Peerless Quartet. He also used plenty of aliases as he recorded for many rival labels. He was Harry Barr for Harmony, Harry Haley for Apex, Henry Gillette for Aurora, Alfred Knapp for Velvetone, Alfred Alexander for Pathe, Robert Bruce for Emerson, and on and on.

As you'd expect from a guy who was required to sing loud and clear for primitive recordings, and to reach the back row of a concert hall, Henry's style was somewhat melodramatic, which matched the sentiments of so many of the songs he covered, including "Carry Me Back to Old Virginny," "If You Were the Only Girl in the World," "I'se Gwine Back to Dixie," "Missouri Waltz" and "Where Is My Wandering Boy Tonight?" As you can tell by the titles, the best way to reach buyers at the time was to play on their patriotism, ethnicity, or maudlin love of home and family. It was definitely odd for Burr to sing a cynical number such as "Stay Down Where You Belong." The songs that were most popular in the World War One era were positive ones, including the George M. Cohan classic from 1917 that ends: "And we won't come back 'til it's over Over There!" The few anti-war numbers ("I Didn't Raise My Boy to be a Soldier" and "Don't Take My Darling Boy Away") were sentimental, with this one, perhaps the only hit that was a downright protest song.

HENRY BURR - STAY DOWN WHERE YOU BELONG

CAMP RUNAMUCK - Homer & Jethro

2010-12-29T07:06:00.000-08:00

It's December 29th…here's a post on "Camp Runamuck," and you're wondering: "Why would anyone care about a summer camp…in winter?" Well, so were the execs at NBC, who by this time were solemnly checking the ratings for their sitcom about a boy's camp (and the efforts of its counselors to connect with the all-girls "Camp Divine" across the lake). But by winter of 1965, it was obvious that this show about campers was not warming up viewers, who instead were watching "The Flintstones" on ABC or Robert Conrad's spy-Western "Wild Wild West" on CBS.

However, in sympathy with the ill spirit of conjuring up a summer camp in winter, the Illfolks blog presents you with not only the original Frank DeVol instrumental, but the ambitious lyrical version from Homer & Jethro, who musta thunk that the show would be a hit and propel their "Old Crusty Minstrels" album to the top of the charts. They probably would've done better to cover Allan Sherman's "Hello Muddah Hello Faddah," which was probably the inspiration behind the development of "Camp Runamuck." Sherman's novelty song was a hit in the summer of 1963, won a Grammy in 1964, was exploited via a fresh "1964 version" single the following summer and then its own board game in 1965 along with a children's book.

"Camp Runamuck" was simply not cut out to last more than a season (it's 26th and final episode aired April 15th, 1966). The show had a "zany" cast, but they were all minor sitcom actors who could be very funny in a supporting guest role, but didn't have the major skills to carry a series. Head counsellor Dave Ketchum was much more memorable as hapless Agent 13 on "Get Smart," mildly confused Dave Madden wasn't even much on "Laugh-In," and there was little for other sour or bumptious actors (Leonard Stone as the camp doctor, Hermoine Baddeley as the owner of the girls' camp) to do for big laughs. The lead was Arch Johnson, owner of "Camp Runamuck" but not the most hilarious of "blustery" and exasperated sitcom heavies. Probably the most notable cast member was Nina Wayne (brunette sister to infamous dizzy blonde Carol Wayne).

Some Brits might remember this series. The BBC actually imported "Camp Runamuck" as a Saturday morning kiddie show back in the 70's. One good thing about the piracy that has caused much fewer movie releases, and more mindless TV reality shows, is that budget-conscious cable stations and streaming video sites are starting to pick over the funny-bones still lying in the vaults. When very few new sitcoms last six episodes and are a total loss, a full 26 episodes of an old oddity sounds pretty good!

There were many one-season wonders back then, sitcoms that had a weak premise but professional writing and acting. Consider "It's About Time," about astronauts going back in time to encounter cave dwellers Imogene Coca and Joe E. Ross or "The Smothers Brothers Show" (Tommy, lost at sea, returns as an angel seen only by brother Dick). I don't think the alternatives are Jonathan Ross, Judge Judy or "the Kardashians visit the Jersey Shore." PS, if you were wondering if you'd ever get to see the legendary "worst sitcom of all time," you can. The Jerry Van Dyke-Ann Sothern novelty "My Mother the Car" is now streaming your way via Hulu.com.

CAMP RUNAMUCK - instrumental TV THEME SONG
CAMP RUNAMUCK - sung by Homer and Jethro

LIFE IS JUST A CARNIVAL - KOLONOVITS not BEEFHEART

2010-12-19T07:54:00.001-08:00

Captain Beefheart (Don Van Vliet) passed on the other day, and since he was very well known, and well bootlegged, and well downloaded, not much needs to be said about him here. Except that the "awful awful diseases" that Warren Zevon sang about, do strike even the rock titans, and it's sad to realize that a guy who was often struggling for money in pursuit of his unique vision, was in the end struggling against multiple sclerosis. Among those who chose to be weird and challenging, the Captain certainly ended up a lot more famous than, say, Kolonovits…who did create one very provocative album before he moved on to much more lucrative things.

Circa 1977, a strange album called "Life Is Just a Carnival" appeared…an odd audio collage of electronica and dada, inspired by everything from Lennon's "Strawberry Fields" to the symphonic Zappa, and even the sorrowful balladry of Nilsson. That's all the tease you need to download four representative tracks: "Life is Just a Carnival" "Join the Carnival" "Society" and the spoken "TV Love Story," just as they rolled off side one of the album originally released on CBS in Germany…and which some eBay sellers hope will put some dinner on the table.

CBS/Columbia in America wanted no part of 25 year-old Christian Kolonovits, so it took a few years before an indie label pressed a few thousand copies. The album notes declared: "With this album the artist tears off the mask and gives up the role forced upon him. His keyboards fly unfettered. The compositions are rich with the baroque influence of Bach and the purity of Gregorian chant. Kolonovits is a new name in the States. Soon it will be known, admired and sought after by all lovers of outstanding progressive European music." While the album was ignored as an eccentric item from an unknown, "Life is Just a Carnival" was only the beginning, and this musician has had a full career over the last three decades. Though not particularly as a singer/songwriter of his own symphonic rock epics.

Christian was born in Burgenland, the son of a Croatian father and a Hungarian mother…which might mean that he would understand getting bootlegged by some asshole blogger in Croatia, but would still feel gloomy about it. He studied piano, cello and composition at the Vienna Music Academy, and in 1980 after his solo album and a year in France, he came back to Vienna to produce a variety of Austropop artists including Wolfgang Ambros, Reinhard Fendrich and Ludwig Hirsch. He later composed movie and TV scores (including the 2008 movie "North Face"). According to his website his projects have garnered 70 gold and platinum awards. Which isn't to say he's got that many statues on his desk, but produced or engineered or had a writing credit on some very successful discs.

He's worked with Placido Domingo, Kiri Te Kanawa, Sarah Brightman, Helmut Lotti, Michael Bolton, Patricia Kaas and the Scorpions. As one might have expected from the eccentric glimpse of orchestral bravado on "Life is Just a Carnival," the guy has spent most of his past decade as a producer, arranger and conductor, working with the Vienna Smphony, Berlin Philharmonic, Hollywood Bowl Orchestra, Budapest Philharmonic, and others. In 2006 he wrote for the British band Tiger Lillies (not to be confused with a British punk band of an almost similar name, which has floundered without its founding lead vocalist.) He wrote tracks for "Sting in the Tail" by the Scorpions and most recently produced the debut album for Alexandra Schertler. And if you go and check, he maintains rather stern poses of himself at kolonovits.com (including the inset B&W on this page). Perhaps he is still asking the musical question: "Life is just a carnival…isn't it a joke??"

LIFE IS JUST A CARNIVAL Instant download or listen on line. No capcha codes, wait time, or whines about paying for a premium account.

Angel of the Morning Skeeter Davis Merilee Rush etc.

2010-12-19T07:53:00.001-08:00

When premarital sex was still a very troubling "sin," this tune turned up, just a hot skip and a hump away from "Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow." Progress: THIS girl thinks she can have a devilishly good time all night and still be an "angel of the morning."
Especially since a man wrote this: Chip Taylor, offering an alibi for chippies.
Saintly martyr Merilee's Rush to judge her one-night-stand:
"There's no need to take a stand for it was I who chose to start. I see no reason to take me home. I'm old enough to face the dawn...Just call me angel of the morning...Then slowly turn away from me."
Even Humphrey Bogart couldn't follow that instruction without busting a gut laughing. "You're good, angel, very good. Now I'll slowly turn away, and you can leave...and I'll change the sheets..."
More from this sanctimonious slut:
"If morning's echo says we've sinned. Well, it was what I wanted now. And if we're victims of the night. I won't be blinded by the light. Just call me angel of the morning."
Can I just call you a cab and sleep an extra hour?

"A pretty dirge, is like a melody..." Share a load with:
Chrissie Hynde
Merilee Rush (original and re-make)
Joya Landis
Barbara Jones
Skeeter Davis
P.P. Arnold
Shaggy
Juice Newton, etc. etc.
The song ends with this:
"I wont beg you stay with me. Through the tears! Of the days! Of the years!"
OK, bitch, bye!
Get lucky. Download the ANGELS

Update November 2011: Some extra versions upped individually:

NINA SIMONE
PERCY FAITH

BLAKE EDWARDS SALUTE via HENRY MANCINI

2010-12-19T07:51:00.000-08:00

Strange, isn't it…almost all the successful work done by Blake Edwards is linked to music by Henry Mancini. While a few composers are best known for soundtracks done for specific directors (most obviously Bernard Herrmann for Hitchcock and Nino Rota for Fellini), it's very rare to find hit movies from one director mated so often to hit songs by one composer.

Blake Edwards (July 26, 1922-December 15, 2010) found his hit movie "Breakfast at Tiffany's" (1961) matched by the Top Ten hit "Moon River." A year later, "Days of Wine and Roses" was in movie theaters and the theme song was being sung by bad quartets and mediocre torch singers all over the radio. And when it comes to instrumentals, it's impossible to think of Blake's hit TV series "Peter Gunn" or hit series of "Pink Panther" movies without those theme songs coming to mind.

Edwards was a bit too prolific, and his wide variety of hit-and-miss movies has diminished his legacy as a director and writer. He no doubt has a cult following for at least some of these: Operation Petticoat (1959), The Great Race (1965), What Did You Do In the War Daddy (1966), The Party (1968), Darling Lili (1969), Wild Rovers (1971), The Tamarind Seed (1974), S.O.B. (1981), Victor Victoria (1972), 10 (1979), and many more.

Born William Blake Crump, he entered show business with his middle name ands step-father's last name, assembling a varied list of credits including the role as young and ineffective hero in "Strangler of the Swamp," a 1946 obscurity that boasted some moody low-budget effects (lots of fog) and a confused, Evangelical script that managed to work in God's role in vengeance and redemption in handling a swamp zombie; a twist on Christ's role in repelling vampires. Edwards had more luck as a script writer for radio ("Yours Truly, Johnny Dollar," a witty private eye series starring Edmond O'Brien) and screen ("Operation Mad Ball" with Ernie Kovacs). He became a director of noir TV shows: "Richard Diamond," "Mr. Lucky" and ultimately "Peter Gunn."

Through his many decades making films, Edwards was adept at drama and often had his best successes with comedy. He was one of the few directors in the 60's and 70's to try and bring back the visual gags of the silent era, although in everything from "The Party" to "The Great Race" and the Panther series, there were some painfully obvious and labored moments that were quite leaden. But mixed in, were inexplicably brilliant vignettes ("Birdy Num-Nums" in "The Party") and superbly timed bits that never grow old (Sellers as Clouseau spinning a globe, and inevitably resting his hand on it while it's still in motion, slamming toward the floor). Edwards usually knew exactly the right angle for the maximum effect.

Perhaps his best work is actually in the thriller "Experiment in Terror" (1962), which boasts of some eerie scenes shot in shadow, a brilliant use of voice (Ross Martin made his film debut mostly heard but not seen), and a strong, believable pace in presenting the drama of Lee Remick being caught up in a tense and deadly blackmail scheme.

In creating the musical settings for Blake Edwards' best work, Henry Mancini pioneered the jumpy tempo ("Pink Panther Theme") that Bacharach would eventually trademark, turned out melodies that schlock lyrics couldn't destroy ("Moon River") and produced almost a bombastic parody of boogie-woogie and jazz in "Peter Gunn." But he also was a maestro who could conjure up just the right instrument for just the right effect: the autoharp, for example, striking some somber notes in the theme for "Experiment in Terror." Since there's no shortage of places to cop a copy of "Moon River" or the "Pink Panther Theme," it's the Illfolks choice to salute the memory of Blake Edwards.

Edwards, who had bouts with depression and chronic fatigue syndrome, had a famous love-hate relationship with Peter Sellers, and was certainly a maverick in doing things his way (including the highly criticized topless exposure of wife Julie Andrews for a key scene in "S.O.B.") He acknowledged that he was a complex, difficult man, one in need of psychiatric treatment (he even wrote a few film scripts with his therapist!). He was aware of Hollywood's love-hate reaction to him and to his work:

"I like the old Chinese proverb: If you wait long enough by the river then the bodies of your enemies will float by. That used to console me through the dark patches. And then one day I realized that downstream from me there was this whole gang of people I'd been rude to, all waiting for me to float by."

EXPERIMENT IN TERROR THEME Instant download or listen on line. No capcha codes, wait time, or whines about paying for a premium account.

PAUL FREES AND "MONEY" by STAN FREBERG

2010-12-09T09:02:00.001-08:00

Stan Freberg wrote some nicely cynical songs, including the seasonal classic "Green Christmas." He usually sang his own material, but an exception is "Money," which was recorded by both Paul Frees and Mel Blanc.

My guess is that both versions came out around the same time, but it's hard to say who got there first. Blanc's version is in print via "The Best of Mel Blanc" from Collectors' Choice, but since they don't have a budget for decent album notes, the chintzy fold-out booklet barely has room for a few paragraphs of information. No release dates are included. Mel was issuing novelty singles on Capitol as early as 1949. His album "Party Panic" arrived in 1953. "Money" could've come out the following year. Paul's definitely did.

The Frees version was recorded on the obscure Century Records label in both 78rpm and 45 rpm forms in 1954. He usually released things under his own name, but this one's credited to "Big Jim" Buchanan. The name may have been a loudmouth conman character he created during his stand-up or radio days.

I'll give the nod for best version to Paul Frees (and not just because I cherish speaking to Frees, and never had the chance to encounter Mel Blanc.) The song is simply better suited to Frees, who talk-sings it with a W.C. Fieldsian sense of glorious corruption, and an almost obscene appreciation for filthy lucre. Blanc, who tries a similar tone, probably would've done better going for cartoonish laughs and using his Daffy Duck voice (although toward the end he can't resist a kind of Woody Woodpecker chuckle.)

Younger fans of musical dementia know that "Money" was covered twice by The Muppets…first on an episode of "The Mike Douglas Show" by a failed puppet character called Tommy, and later by the garishly memorable Dr. Teeth on a Jim Nabors-hosted episode of "The Muppet Show." This time of year…is the perfect time to hear this crass rap about the almighty dollar.

MONEY by Paul Frees as BIG JIM BUCHANAN Instant download or listen on line. No capcha codes, wait times or money extortion.

A MOST LOVING NOEL - NOEL STOOKEY A' Soalin'

2010-12-09T08:52:00.001-08:00

I recently spent a few minutes talking with Noel Stookey (now firmly using his real first name), and the conversation turned here and there on both Peter Paul & Mary, his solo work and Christmas songs. I mentioned my favorite solo song of his ("Sebastian") and he smiled and told me that when he started to write it, it was about a guitar, not a boy! The full story is on his site: right here.

The song itself is streaming on his website (streaming, not for free download) and you can hear it here.

I mentioned that my favorite PP&M album was "Movin'" which I first got on vinyl, in mono. Later, hearing it in stereo on CD, I was amazed at the vivid harmonies, especially with headphones on. "We tried to work it so that each voice expressed something different," he told me. This was a far different concept from what the Everly Brothers or Simon & Garfunkel did, and when it works, it's astonishing. On "Movin'" the best example is "Flora" (aka "Lily of the West") which I mentioned to Noel was the first song I'd heard from that album (not "Puff the Magic Dragon") and the reason I bought it. In a song about a woman and her two rivals, PP&M vividly take up those roles.

I wrote about Noel some time ago in a national magazine article about the world of Christian rock and pop music, which benefitted from some respected names (Noel, B.J. Thomas, Barry McGuire, Gary Paxton) and began to develop its own roster of talent (including Annie Herring, who you can hear on this blog). It was my idea to cover that subject, because I felt it was newsworthy and something the average rock journalist was "too hip" or (too narrow-minded?) to explore. Glad it was actually published. As Dylan would later prove via "Gotta Serve Somebody," it's possible to write "Christian" and not be corny. And in fact to still be Jewish.

Which brings me to one final point about PP&M. They were one of the first groups to offer both Jewish and Christian music on a record album. "Movin'" which was released over 40 years ago, has powerful songs for both Chanukah ("Man Come Into Egypt") and Christmas ("A 'Soalin'). This was a profoundly "mixed" group, not ignoring religion, but celebrating the different cultures. Peter and Paul were Jewish and Christian, and could successfully sing songs about their cultures, and make them accessible to all. Compare that to Simon & Garfunkel, who actually sang nothing about Judaism and everything about churches burning and "Silent Night."

As we approach Christmas, here's "A Soalin'." With its borrowing from "God Bless Ye Merry Gentlemen," it's a song that very much captures the poignance of this time of year, with its reflected joys and sorrows.

Is it possible to find joy in the simple gift of an apple? A pear? A plum? I think you know the answer. If you don't, you're probably asking "why don't I get a full download of that "Movin'" album instead of one live track that Peter & Noel actually have authorized to give away free?" Here, from a concert performance a few years ago, the great Noel Stookey, and his little friend Mr. Yarrow, perform a seasonal favorite…

A' Soalin' - PETER YARROW, NOEL STOOKEY Instant download or listen on line. No capcha codes, wait times or money extortion.

POSITIVELY CRAWL OUT YOUR WINDOW: 2 BOB DYLAN COVERS

2010-12-09T08:38:00.000-08:00

Masked and anonymous, nobody knows who sang "Can You Please Crawl Out Your Window" and "Positively 4th Street" imitating Bob on budget 45rpm EP's.

The idea back in the late 50's and up to the mid-60's, was that for the price of ONE hit song by the original artist, you could get SIX hit songs by…nobodies. Labels such as Tops, Promenade, Song Hits, etc. prospered. Sometimes the labels gave a credit to the unknown vocalist, probably on the theory that you didn't even know the name of the one-shot wonder who had suddenly scored a Top Ten hit. In other cases, where the six songs were all by very famous original artists, the label simply didn't list the singer, hoping to trick people into believing they were getting the original artist.

The side of Hit Parader #39's 45 rpm (which opened with "Michelle," then "Tell Me Why" and then "Can You Please Crawl Out Your Window") simply credited the song to Bob Dylan. Meaning as author, not as singer. Heh heh.
Song Hits #38 opened one side with "Get Off Of My Cloud" then "Positively 4th Street" and "Run Baby Run." Once again, nothing about who was doing the actual singing.

In all cases, only the song composers were listed. "Positively 4th Street" was a logical choice for cheapie exploitation at the time. The follow-up to Bob's "Like a Rolling Stone," it slipped into the Top 10 according to both Billboard and Cash Box. "Can You Please Crawl Out Your Window" wasn't nearly as successful, topping out at 58 at both Billboard and Cash Box.

The charts have always been hit and miss with Dylan singles. On Billboard, "I Threw It All Away" languished at 85, "Watching the River Flow" missed the Top 40, "Tangled Up In Blue" missed the Top 30, (as did "Hurricane") and "Gotta Serve Somebody" didn't make the Top 20. However Bob reached #12 for "Knockin' On Heaven's Door" and got to #20 for "I Want You," but by then, sophisticated listeners weren't interested in knock-offs and the once-bustling industry for budget labels offering quantity over quality, went bust. However...thanks to "budget" download companies like eMusic, there are now musicians who specialize in knocking off oldies. Kids who have no idea who originally did "Monster Mash" can surf eMusic, listen to 30 seconds of something that sounds like the real thing, and download it over the original. What was that Paul Simon lyric..."The music suffers/The music business thrives."

OBSCURE BOB DYLAN COVER VERSIONS: Positively 4th Street and Can You Please Crawl Out Your Window Instant download or listen on line. No capcha codes, wait times or money extortion.

OLD 97 and The Right Way to Steal Bob Dylan

2010-12-09T08:29:00.000-08:00

First time I heard Old 97's "Champaign, Illinois" (via their guest spot on "The Tonight Show,") I instantly heard, note for note, Bob Dylan's "Desolation Row." And I thought, "WTF…how did they get away with that??"

It turns out…they asked.

Rhett Miller of Old 97 was looking for inspiration. Many songwriters including Bob Dylan ("Blowing in the Wind") start off with somebody else's melody, craft new lyrics, then go back and adapt the melody. Lennon and McCartney were always saying "Let's write a Buddy Holly song…let's write something like Chuck Berry." Miller decided to use Dylan's "Desolation Row" for inspiration. Miller talking: "I'll take this tune I knew inside and out and come up with new lyrics." Dylan used the same formula. Dylan talking: "What happens is, I'll take a song I know and simply start playing it in my head…At a certain point, some words will change and I'll start writing a song."

The next step is usually to strip off the old melody and use the lyrics to inspire a new one. Or at least "adapt" the melody so its origin isn't so obvious. If you don't do either, you're in for trouble. Everyone from Johnny Cash to John Lennon to George Harrison to Dylan himself has either paid a settlement for intentional or unintentional mis-use or suffered embarrassing whispers about their creativity and integrity.

Miller liked the melody for "Desolation Row" so much he didn't want to mess around and alter it: "I was really happy with it, and I thought, this is a sweet little song, and it kind of exists on its own. And then I sat on it forever for fear of legal repercussion."

Ultimately, he took a chance and sent the song over to Bob Dylan's office. Maybe Bob had been to Champaign, Illinois and considered it pretty close to Desolation Row. Whatever, Miller was granted permission as long as Bob got a co-write for having written the music. (I know…The Mighty Dylan has, more than once, NOT asked permission to use somebody else's words, etc. etc. etc.) The bottom line? We all have different views of morality, and the line we don't cross can be set close, or way in the distance. As for "sharing," this blog ain't gonna steal "Champaign, Illinois" off the group's actual CD. Instead, you get the version you can't buy…the live one from Leno's show. Which is still theft, but more of a petit larceny. To quote Bob Dylan (or did he borrow it from The Bible), "Ain't no man righteous, not one."

DESOLATION ROW turns into CHAMPAIGN, ILLINOIS Instant download or listen on line. No capcha codes, wait times or money extortion.

The SWAMP FOX Theme Song - LESLIE NIELSEN

2010-11-29T07:43:00.001-08:00

Everyone has a short-list of celebrities they admire, would like to grow up to be like, to become friends with, or simply meet as one might visit a national landmark. For me, Leslie Nielsen was very much on the short-list. I'd written him some letters, and we finally happened to be at the same event. I'm glad to say it wasn't a "great moment," it was better than that; it was a nice moment. He was just a nice, natural, easy-going person and fun to talk to. I could appreciate him like an uncle, a favorite teacher or the family doctor…someone to respect, admire, but who was down to earth and "a regular guy."

Is there anyone who didn't like Leslie Nielsen? Who doesn't remember him with fondness? Depending on your tastes, and when you grew up, he was your hero as Disney's Swamp Fox, or as Commander Adams in "Forbidden Planet," and for girls, the ideal boyfriend via "Tammy and the Bachelor." He was the deadpan doctor of "Airplane!" and the stalwart if inept Frank Drebin of "Police Squad" and the "Naked Gun" movies.

Leslie somehow made a bizarre turn from genial Disney hero, mild leading man and stalwart astronaut to one of the most inexplicably hilarious stars in comedy…doing much more than "playing it straight." He delivered lines in a funny way, and as he aged, his bent good looks helped put that comical spin on them. In "Airplane" (1980) he turned a dumb gag into a memorable one: "Surely you can't be serious." "I am serious, and don't call me Shirley." After many more spoof films, he was comfortable with his new fame as a comic actor, and confidently turned up on talk shows to have a laugh and surprise people with an inappropriate fart noise courtesy of a concealed rubber bladder in his hand.

I have a hand-written letter from Leslie in which he expressed great humility for having fans that appreciated his work, and for those who stuck with him "during the slow times," or the times when the critics were less than kind (as they were for some of the "Airplane" knock-offs he made that spoofed horror films, Mr. Magoo, etc. etc.) He was a solid working actor most of his life. Those in the business knew they could depend on him for all kinds of roles…from a one-handed ex-Civil War general on "Wild Wild West" to a lecherous producer in the Carroll Baker version of "Harlow." He was in "Nuts" with Barbra Stresiand, "Poseidon Adventure," and all kinds of TV roles (from "Murder She Wrote" to "Golden Girls"). He used his fame to mount a one-man stage show as Clarence Darrow. He also narrated documentaries for "National Geographic," and was wonderfully charming in the obscure made-for-TV "Chance of a Lifetime" a romance co-starring Betty White. There must be some people out there who remember his first TV police series, "The New Breed," although only real Leslie fans would've heard of "The Bold Ones."

He was subtle and a bit "offbeat" I suppose. He was not quite as dangerous as a leading man should be, as cartoony as an outright movie clown should be, or as forceful a personality as a "star" should be. What he was, was a great guy. Leslie Nielsen. He was working almost to the end. At age 84, after a few weeks in the hospital with pneumonia, he died peacefully on a Sunday afternoon. Yesterday. He usually signed autographs with a few extra words added: "Luck and laughs."

THE SWAMP FOX THEME SONG

COUNTRY YOSSI - SHLOMO

2010-11-29T07:33:00.000-08:00

A Jewish version of Lorne Green's classic, "Ringo?"

Technically, there already is one, because Lorne Greene was Jewish (as was "Bonanza" co-star Michael Landon). His "Ringo" is just not as Jewish as...
"Shlomo," by Country Yossi.
Chanukah has come early this year!

Finally, the Illfolks blog gets to introduce you to Yossi Toiv. He's been around for decades, debuting on radio in 1986, and still at it via WSNR and now streaming Internet archives. He's got his own magazine as well and…while the original vinyl is out of print, albums by Country Yossi and the Shteeble-Hoppers are available on CD from his website: countryyossi.com. The download sample, 'Schlomo,' is from the vinyl version on "Country Yossi and the Shteeble Hoppers Strike Again." Most of his early albums featured Jewish versions of classic pop (Sedaka, Beach Boys, etc.) and country (Johnny Cash).

Jewish novelty songs fall into two categories…orthodox and reform. Orthodox might include Benny Bell, who often sang in Yiddish, as well as Lee Tully, Eli Basse and Mickey Katz who sang in a high-pitched nasal voice that these days might even seem antisemitic. Reform would be Allan Sherman and Shel Silverstein ("What do You Do if You're Young and White and Jewish?") Not to mention comic singers who didn't make being Jewish a part of their act, such as Tom Lehrer.

Country Yossi's stuff is pretty orthodox…if you just light Chanukah candles and eat bagels and lox, you might not get all the references. If you keep the Sabbath, know the last words that differentiate a prayer for bread and a prayer for wine, and can at least sing "Adon Olum" from memory, you shouldn't have much trouble. Although with Country Yossi some songs are serio-comic at best, pulling that old Jewish trick of injecting pathos into the mix.

Months ago I posted an Italian version of "Ringo" so for your convenience, it's re-posted below, along with the latest doff of the cowboy hat to the late great Lorne Green. Enjoy your Kosher-Italian treats...

SHLOMO
RINGO in ITALIAN by Adriano Celantano

KUKLA FRAN & OLLIE - FRAN ALLISON BURR TILLSTROM

2010-11-29T07:31:00.000-08:00

Happy birthday to Fran Allison, born November 20th, 1907. And if you think it's a little late, coming nine days after the event, that's ok. Fran's a little late, herself. She died June 13, 1989. However, for many whose sand is predominantly on the bottom of the Grim Reaper's hourglass, she is not forgotten. She was the charming Donna Reed mother-figure or Dinah Shore hostess supervising the antics of her extended puppet family, the most famous being a one-toothed red-headed long-necked "dragon" named Ollie, his balding, fretful clown-friend Kukla, and a befuddled witch named Beulah. Behind the scenes, the puppets were moved and voiced by Burr Tillstrom, whom we also salute as we near the 25th anniversary of his death (December 6th, 1985). He was born Franklin Burr Tillstrom in Chicago, on October 13, 1917.

Kukla Fran & Ollie began their TV career locally in Chicago, but were soon beloved throughout the nation. After their initial fame in the 50's and 60's, a new generation wanted them to return, and so they did in 1975, with new adventures in color, and the release of VHS tapes. In 2009, just when it seemed as if KF&O were a distant and obscure memory, the U.S. Postal Service decided they deserved commemoration on a postage stamp. So now Fran and her friends are helping stubborn, old-school writers to get their letters sent across the street or around the world.

Back in the day, RCA Victor, also home to Howdy Doody, happily issued some 45's on KF&O. Some of these hold up a bit better than the vintage video material does. Your twelve minute download is the double 45 that featured a medley of hits as well as solo songs. It opens with the familiar piano chords and music box theme song. It segues into their cheerful "Here We Are, Back With You Again," and the typical 50's pop of "Mr. K and Mr. O." From there, we get Ollie's ridiculous "Hello Cutie" (he was quite an obvious ancestor to Cecil the Seasick Sea Serpent). Next, "Take a Look at Me," a Broadway-type ballad showing that KF&O also knew adults were in the room along with the kids.

Following a tango (with the now inappropriate suggesting from Ollie "Let's make it a threesome") we get to two highlights. On "Am I Getting Through To You," Kukla and Fran show us the lost art of the comic duet, as Kukla insists on telling anecdotes while Fran feigns paying attention. This was the era of "Go to Sleep" by Arthur Godfrey and Mary Martin, duets between Rosemary Clooney and Jose Ferrer, and some other things perhaps best left in the record box. Our journey back in time ends with "Dragon Retreat," another song that seems much too sophisticated for kids…if too ridiculous for adults. Ollie tells us that he likes to go on vacation to "Dragon Retreat," which is located…no, not in a Disney Never-Neverland, but "in Vermont."

(Update: check the comments section. Just a few weeks ago the first collection of VINTAGE KF&O material was released on DVD.)

Those unfamiliar with the characters may not get so much out of the download. You guys won't have the familiarity and nostalgia that makes this kind of thing not only enjoyable but downright lovable. So if you didn't spend some early time with Kukla, Fran and Ollie, their songs probably won't make much of an impression. But for those already smiling just seeing the photos of KF & O, this stuff will definitely be O.K.

KUKLA FRAN & OLLIE

LEE HAZLEWOOD AND ANN-MARGRET ON THE DARK END

2010-11-29T07:29:00.000-08:00

After smoldering around Nancy Sinatra, Lee Hazelwood moved on to another sex symbol, Ann-Margret. This version of "The Cowboy and the Lady" yielded an album by that name, but no truly memorable hit…although "Dark End of the Street" is pretty vivid stuff.

The mentally uneven James Carr originally recorded it in 1967, and Elvis Costello breathed new life into it (while saluting king James' version) by covering it on his "Kojak Varieties" CD.

Most versions of this tortured torch ballad have been sung by a guilty man (Joe Tex and Percy Sledge also covered it) or tormented woman (include Aretha Franklin and Linda Ronstadt). But duos? Not too often. In fact there are only two that are well respected.

At this point it's hard to say who got there first…Hazlewood and Ann-Margret, or Dolly Parton and Porter Wagoner. But the clear favorite lasting the test of time is the former. They're a lot grittier and sexier about it. Besides, how in the world could you sneak Dolly Parton anywhere without people knowing??

Eventually Lee found other singing partners, using Nina Lizell and Suzi Jane Hokom and not Stockholm-born Ann-Margret (Olsson) on his 1970 "Cowboy in Sweden" album. He even worked his way back to Nancy Sinatra (you'll find the sensational "She Won't" elsewhere on this blog). But the combo of Lee and Ann-Margret deserves more acknowledgement, and so here's a sampe of Lee Ann rhymes...

DARK END OF THE STREET

BOB CROSBY - You're Bound to Look Like a Monkey

2010-11-29T07:28:00.000-08:00

While everybody loves Bing Crosby (even Kate Bush referenced him in her adorable "This Christmas Will Be Magic Again,") the Illfolks blog prefers Bob Crosby. And the blog also prefers nasty put-downs to most any damn Christmas song!

Der Bingle (1903-1977) had three older brothers (all died before Bing did). Bob was his much younger brother (1913-1993). He was a singer in various groups and bands through the 30's, ultimately helming his own Bob Crosby Orchestra, and for smaller gigs, The Bob-Cats. Bob and his Bob-Cats turned up as musical relief in various light movies ("Let's Make Music," "As Thousands Cheer," "Pardon My Rhythm"). CD compilations of vintage Dixieland jazz are bound to have his best known hits, "Big Noise from Winnetka" and "South Rampart Street Parade."

In the 40's Bob starred in his own radio show while scoring some 78 rpm hits (including a few duets with Bing). He had a daytime TV show in the mid 50's in America, and a late night show in Australia in the mid 60's. The much more iconic Bing was still active in the 60's, and even lived long enough to link himself to David Bowie via the infamous recording of "The Little Drummer Boy."

Bob's hits are mostly forgotten, or covered by others now better known than he is. Here we shine a light on his sage and prophetic novelty tune, "You're Bound to Look Like a Monkey." Since this is a music blog, and fairly politically correct, the photo illustrations of famous homo sapiens who look simian are restricted to the obvious. And make up your own joke about Ben Stiller.

YOU'RE BOUND TO LOOK LIKE A MONKEY WHEN YOU GROW OLD

GRIMSBY! "Up the Mariners" by PISCES

2010-11-19T10:20:00.000-08:00

Around the world, say "Grimsby" and hear "huh?" At best, some know that "Grimsby" is a song by Elton John, one with a silly, almost nelly melody and lyrics that seem to be about a boat? A grim bee? A school? Some asshole named Grimsby? Or Grimsby's asshole??

In "Grimsby," Elton's lyricist Bernie Taupin was actually babbling about a port city in England. At the time he wrote it, there were still fish in the nearby waters. Now that most fish is farm-raised, Grimsby's in decline. Despite the poverty and the abandoned buildings that make the song "Grimsby" nostalgia only, the people of the town still have an anthem to sing: "Up the Mariners!" The Mariners is their football (soccer) team, one that has NOT suffered a decline in the past 30 years. No, it's maintained the same level of mediocrity by never winning a championship.

Grimsby seems to be a strangely mis-managed place, one that did not move toward fish-farming (plenty of room for it, and lots of empty areas that could've been filled with tanks). They also failed to maintain tourist interest (actually destroying some beloved landmarks that were in need of minor repair). They also…well, you can read more on the miseries of the town via: craphousegrimsby.blogspot.com.

Over here, you merely get a copy of "Up the Mariners," because it's such a fine example of fan folly and boisterous hooligan-logic. What puts it ahead of various other cheers and anthems for pro or even college or high school teams, is a) they haven't given up singing it despite 30 years of failure, and b) the singers are ignoring a very obvious double meaning. And how could they, when they live in the very country that gave us "Up the Khyber" (a ribald "Carry On" movie) and "Up Je T'aime" (a ribald Frankie Howerd parody of the Gainsbourg-Birkin groan single). Most anyone hearing "Up the Mariners" would get a mental picture that, well, might look like the Photoshop job above (half-hearted apologies to Beckham and Devitt).

Yes, these days the only "mariners" in Grimsby are guys who trip over themselves on a dirt field. But keep on singing, guys, and never give up! Although the group Pisces, who recorded this thing, apparently did. Too bad, 'cause they're not so terrible, and sound a bit like some 3rd rate British invasion band with some guy named Freddie or Gerry or Deezy or Dozy singing lead…although I think these guys shagged more fish than they did birds.

UP THE MARINERS! The (craphouse) Grimsby football anthem! For more on them, and their town, check craphouseGrimsby.blogspot.com Listen on line or download. No wait time, capcha codes, porn ads, or demands to pay a premium to the download service that hasn't licensed the music and laughs all the way to the bank about it.

SONG OF THE MOLE - MARC EITZEL

2010-11-19T10:18:00.001-08:00

"Song of the Mole" sounds like it's about some senile music forum member whose age and IQ are both about 60, and who has nothing better to do than drool about getting mp3 downloads of music that was a waste of vinyl when it came out 30 years ago. Watta waste of time, but a mole can't see too clearly, and thinks he's going to reclaim his youth by listening to the oldies over and over again, in some delusional form of deja vu. "Song of the Mole" sample lyric:

"He was so pissed off he was dying, he would only play Hall and Oates.
He said if my days are numbered, I'm going to blast the world with Hall and Oates."

Remind you of anyone? There are actually retired people out there who have declared that while "on the government teat," they will now devote the rest of their lives to…giving away somebody else's property! With cries of "blogging saved my life," and "make good use of the time that's left," many a myopic mole spends his life at a computer upping and re-upping and up-chucking Hall and Oates, or other stuff everyone already knows about, and which is in print, and could still earn royalties for the "beloved" artists. But backward mole-asses stick to their notion that they should take credit, Paypal donations and nice comments in the name of Hall and Oates and the others they rip off. Laughably, they have lots of excuses and rationalizations when the plain truth is that they're old enough to know better. Or are they really so old they've gone senile and no longer know better! The best they can do is mumble vague weasel words like "the music industry needs a new paradigm," or "there must be a way for artists to prosper while fans get all the free music they feel entitled to." They don't actually come up with a solution. They're part of the problem, not the solution.

The solution most artists are comfortable with is giving away a few songs (usually on "My Space" or their website, or via an Amazon.com promotion) or trusting that almost anyone who isn't senile, can deduce if they like a song by hearing 30 seconds of it on iTunes. Which they can hear over and over and over (deja vu again) until they think it's worth buying or not.

If it's "not," because you don't think it's worth the money, then don't blame the artist for not thinking you deserve it free. That's just insulting. If you don't want to buy it, fine, listen to something you did buy. We all have more music than we need anyway. You could spend quite a lot of time re-playing this one Mark Eitzel track, enjoying the music, and finding your own interpretation of the lyrics. In the old days we'd often grow to love an album because we did buy it, didn't like it on first or second listen, but since we didn't have much else and paid for it, gave it a few more chances. And it grew on us. Today, another bad thing about the mass downloading is that it gluts us, we haven't the time to give music a chance to grow on us, and we're too busy with the freebies to buy, support and respect more than a few artists.

I found Eitzel the Internet way. While messing around with 30 second samplings on my monthly subscription to eMusic, I heard his cover of "Rehearsals for Retirement" by Phil Ochs. The 30 seconds were good, so I bought and downloaded the whole song and began checking Marc's other work. Emusic charges less than 50 cents a song, so Eitzel is not as lucky as Ochs. The music biz has changed and the odds of making any kind of a living are worse. In Phil's day, he had the support of Jac Holzman (Elektra) and then Jerry Moss (A&M) who bankrolled him, supported him and promoted him…and he also benefitted from the "evil" organizations that sent him royalty checks that kept him going when he couldn't tour and had lost inspiration.

Just what the future is for guys like Marc Eitzel remains to be seen…but maybe not heard. Music is easy to steal. Governments haven't yet enforced laws on the Internet because of confusion over "free speech" vs "copyright" (capitalist governments, that is, the ones who are seeing more and more people out of work, including members of the entertainment industry).

And so guys like Eitzel have been taken down a notch. The blogger who gives away the music is as much a star as the artist. The artist is forced to take a dull day job like the blogger. And at the gig, the artist has yet another job; selling t-shirts after a gig. Which isn't necessarily a bad idea. If Marc Eitzel turns up at a club near me (which I'd only know about if he or his manager made sure to pay for posters and ads), I might go (if the ticket price is FAIR), and if I'm feeling in a position of power and pity, I'd certainly buy a t-shirt. But only if it had "Song of the Mole" on it, is not too expensive, and is brand new and clean (not Spotified.)

Song of the Mole Instant download or listen on line.

DEJA VU pitty avenue csny teena marie aventura

2010-11-19T09:59:00.000-08:00

The best definition of "Deja Vu" is: "the unpleasant sensation that something you didn't like is happening to you all over again."

The experience of "Deja Vu" is usually tinged with alarm and apprehension, and as soon as your brain has sensed a repeat of something awful that's already happened, you think to yourself: "Make it STOP."

Psychiatrists theorize "Deja Vu" arises out of boredom. "Deja vu" is what happens when a dull mushroom mind relies on hallucinations to feel alive. It's a pathetic illusion. Deja vu tries to make something supernatural out of the mundane. "Oooh, I've had this feeling before!" Yeah? And wasn't it useless the first time?

Your download is eight examples of "Deja Vu." A few of them are in foreign languages: Aventura and Pitty. A few are fairly well known: CSNY, John Fogerty and Iron Maiden. Then there's Teena Marie, the Yeah Yeah Yeahs and Beyonce teamed with Jay Z. In almost every case, the singer makes the case for Deja Vu being creepy and unpleasant. At best, ("Deja vu all over again") the experience is a bad joke.

Psychiatrists seem to agree that "Deja vu" is some kind of psych disturbance, and while it momentarily has a tinge of seeming groovy or fab, the feeling's so creepy you end up saying "glad it's over, and I'm not eager to make the same mistake."

Deja Vu?

WILLIAM SHATNER does CEE-LO : "FUCK YOU!"

2010-11-19T09:57:00.000-08:00

Following "Song of the Mole" and a collection of "Deja Vu," nothing could be more appropriate than "FUCK YOU." (You were expecting "NOBU"?)

The original was sung by Cee-Lo, but as he did with some of the numbers on "Has Been," most especially "Common People," William Shatner's made a strong case for ownership.

While we wait to see if he'll actually release this as a single, or put it on "Has Been 2," here's the censored recitation from the talk show hosted by George ("you mean Paul Rodriguez wasn't available?") Lopez. Hold on (it's about 90 seconds) and you'll hear the UN-censored version thanks to a decent audience recording done with Bill's permission.

Wish I could say I've spent an hour or two chatting with Shatner, but I've only spent that much time with one of the original "Star Trek" cast members. One who, come to think of it, loved trashing the guy. (No, not Walter or George…I don't hang with mere ship hands!)

Shatner's a piece of work, love him or not, and if you'd care to be honest, his musical forays have been memorable. He was hip for his time when he went on talk shows narrating Harry Chapin's "Taxi" and Elton's "Rocket Man," although much of it holds up only as well as some equally questionable episodes of "Twilight Zone" or "Star Trek." His album "Has Been" needs no apologists; it's that good.

So "FUCK YOU" or "download FUCK YOU." It's probably either the former or the latter, and you know who you are!

[box net link removed] FUCK YOU censored and uncensored by William Shatner star of "Shat My Dad Says"

UPDATE Dec 19th: Sorry, I got a FUCK YOU on this one. As I mentioned in the first update, the music link was removed on December 10th. Then came a complaint to Blogger itself on the 13th It was probably a "bot" sniffing around for illegal copies of the actual Cee-Lo song. Shit happens. A while back a 30 year-old out-of-print parody of a Rolling Stones song I posted was mistakenly stopped by an IFPI bot that thought it was a real Rolling Stones song. I didn't put it back up as the bot would just make the same mistake. Check YouTube and you'll find somebody with an upload of Shat rappin' on the Lopez show.

Bristol Palin BRISTOL STOMP - Len Barry

2010-11-19T09:55:00.000-08:00

Bob Dylan said, "We live in a political world," and Brother Theodore said, "In this best of all possible worlds, everything is in a hell of a mess." And these points of view are combined in the Palins. Sarah. Bristol. Willow. It's a never-ending nightmare. For those who thought political stupidity and messy incompetence ended with Dubya leaving office…the sad fact is that Dubya's 8 years are over, but it looks like the Palins will be around for a lifetime.

It's now reached the point of gunfire. A few days ago, a 66 year-old man in Wisconsin lost his mind while watching Bristol Palin on "Dancing with the Stars." He grabbed a shotgun and blew out his TV set. People magazine's website explained: "Palin has been a polarizing figure on the show, having advanced in the competition despite consistently receiving the lowest scores from the judges…"

Sarah Pain has advanced from a cinder in the public eye to just about blinding it, despite having been a loser in the last election, and showing her contempt for her constituents by walking out on her governorship in order to make more money via lecture tours, books, teasing threats to run for the Presidency, and polarizing quips that call attention to herself while antagonizing millions.

She was never shy about bringing her idiot spawn into it…from having unwed mother Bristol cradle her bastard on national television during the election, to knowingly starting a publicity-grabbing fake feud with David Letterman by being the only person in the world to think that a Dave joke about Bristol's inane sluttiness was aimed at Willow (not of legal age). Well, we now see that Willow is hardly anyone's idea of pure.

Shortly before Bristol reached the "Dancing with the Stars" finals (huge ratings every time the controversy ratcheted up a notch), celebutard Willow made the news by sending out obnoxious twitters about a classmate: "Haha your so gay…what I've seen pictures of, your disgusting…my sister had a kid and is still hot...You such a faggot." Bristol read this piss from little Sis, and joined in: ""You're running your mouth just to talk shit...You'll be as successful as my baby daddy." The latter was a shot at her ex-boyfriend, who was trying to run for mayor of Wassila, and doing the talk show circuit, taking humiliating mocks from Jay Leno and Bill Maher.

And so it goes. To quote Kander, or was it Ebb, "Whatever happened to class?"

"Whatever Happened to Class," the best song in the musical "Chicago," could've been your download, but the painfully over-publicized (to the point of gunfire) Bristol Palin romp to the finals of a moronic show that shouldn't even be on the air, leads to "Bristol Stomp" by Len Barry. Len Barry (nee Leonard Borisoff), was the lead singer for The Dovells, the group that made "Bristol Stomp" a hit. On his own, he scored a blue-eyed soul smash with "1-2-3," but didn't have 4 or 5 more. Two years ago he co-wrote a novel, "Black-Like-Me" from the indie Bank House books company. For more info on it you can check Amazon.com BUT…for Len's imagined soundtrack to a film version of the book, go to http://www.lenbarry.com/ and click the link to the free download/listening page.

Illfolks already posted Jackie Kannon's song "Sarah," which had the nice line, "all day long she sits and shits." I'll skip Groucho Marx's version of "Tit Willow," so here's "Bristol Stomp." In England a "pair of Bristols" is a euphemism that was used in probably every other episode of "The Benny Hill Show," but Bristol is just a place in Philadelphia (as it is in England). And while the moon-faced young Palin continues to annoy, as does her smirky mom, let's say that we don't mean "Bristol Stomp" literally. Although millions are feeling very flattened by the three P's infecting America's pod: Willow Palin, Bristol Palin, Sarah Palin…and there are plenty more where they came from.

BRISTOL STOMP -- Len Barry version Listen on line or download. No wait time, capcha codes, porn ads, or demands to pay a premium to the download service that hasn't licensed the music and laughs all the way to the bank about it.

DRIVING STUPID TWAS BRILLIG EMOTIONAL UPSETS and other strangely named old psych bands

2010-11-09T08:17:00.000-08:00

This particular post is honoring Pixelmutt, one of our longtime bloggers, who so comically felt his feelings were hurt by my post about Halloween bloggers who stick 10 or 20 stale monster-novelty tunes into a Rapidshare file and figure they've done something brilliant. Of course I wasn't referring to either Pix, or the great Reverend Frost from the South of France, who are always far more esoteric in their assortment packs. Like THIS pack, which features 20 pretty decent tunes that either have strange song titles or band names. Because, cheshire children and mad hatters...

…Once upon a strawberry alarm clock, there was a peanut butter conspiracy started by some electric prunes. The idea was to come up with a trippy-far-out name to get attention for a band. The weirder the name, the more likely to get signed! Except, as you can see from the items below, even when you put an LSD tab on a kandy-kolored tangerine-flake, baby, you might not end up mau-mauing the radical chic flak-catchers who built their bonfire of the vanities at radio stations and rock mags.

The happy ending for the artists below now pushing 60 or 70 or daisies: their tunes are not forgotten! Desperate psych fans who already have all the basic Harper's Chocolate Watch Association & Our Gang stuff, have been sniffing in grammy's closets and grand uncle's attic, and aside from a paisley dirndl, or a furry vest, found…kewl 45's, ones that sound like 3rd degree Byrds or slightly expired Vanilla Fudge.

However (to quote Professor Irwin Corey), if ye seek, ye may actually find something that's (to quote David Seville), "almost good." At least it will pass the time while walking briskly across campus to Timewasting 101, or the tunes may keep an old hippie going until he reaches the senility ward at the free clinic.

With granny glasses held on high (this is somewhat of a Tom Lehrer in-joke), let's salute a bunch of obscure but quite competent musicians and songwriters who at least came up with names so ludicrous, they've been pulled into the semi-light of day on this semi-obscure blog.

It would be a little too easy, and cruel, and snarky, to go through the list and make jokes about each and every entry here. I mean, make your own joke about The Chocolate Tunnel. And keep it to yourself. The point here is to celebrate the creative spirit…and every act below was, somehow, somewhat creative.

The criterion for making the Top Twenty: the band has to be unknown to the average (not you) listener, the name or representative song title has to be amusing or pretentious and the music itself must make you feel groovy, spaced out or alienated. After all, the aim with some of these bands was, "If they can do it, WE can do it," as they either wanted to be another pop-anthem band like Spanky & Our Gang (see: Rumplestilskin Kartoon), Jefferson Airplane in a tailspin (see: The Apple Pie Motherhood Band), more whimsical than Harper's Bizarre (see: Art Nouveaux), or cooler than the Yardbirds and Jimi Hendrix put together (see: Acid Gallery).

The Doors had nothing on Tuneful Trolley. Or vice versa. Surely, anyone hearing Now's "The Hands On My Clock Stand Still" might ask "Did Peter Hammill really do better? Or The Strawbs? And wasn't there a damn good rip of classical in the tune that Procol Harum would've admired?" It's possible, also, that a surviving band member from Herbie's People might point to "Semi-Detached Suburban Mr. Jones" and tell his grand-children, "It was as commercial as Bob Dylan combined with Paul Revere and the Raiders! Or if Barry McGuire had been a member of Freddie and the Dreamers! It deserved a better fate…" And at the time, the manager of The Clockwork Orange probably wanted to throw a tangerine at the radio station manager who put down the phone saying, "No, a combination of Dave Clark Five and the Beach Boys is not getting drive-time airplay here..."

JOLLY ROGER AND THE POPPITEERS - Joker in the Fokker
THE DRIVING STUPID - Horror Asparagus Stories
HEIRONYMOUS & THE DHARMA BUMS - 900 Mice
WHATT FOUR - Dandelion Wine
RAINY DAZE - In My Mind Lives a Forest
THE ILFORD SUBWAY - A New Song
KING'S KOUNTY KARNIVAL - Don't Vote for Luke McCabe
ART NOUVEAUX - Extra-Terrestrial Visitations
TUNEFUL TROLLEY - My Apple Pie
NOW - The Hands On My Clock Stand Still
CROCHETED DOUGHNUT RING - Get Out Your Rock and Roll Shoes
THE EMOTIONAL UPSETS - Maintain Your Cool
'TWAS BRILLIG - Dirty Old Man
GEORGIE PORGIE AND THE CRY BABIES - Enter Sunshine Exit Darkness
HERBIE'S PEOPLE - Semi-Detached Suburban Mr. Jones
THE CLOCKWORK ORANGES - Ready Steady
THE POOH - The Suitcase
RUMPELSTILSKIN KARTOON - Come To the Carnival
THE APPLE PIE MOTHERHOOD BAND - Flight Path

20 Hippie Dippie Kool Far-Out Groovy Fab Songs Re-upped after Rapidshare let it lapse. No eye-boggling capcha codes

CRAIG FERGUSON sings as BING HITLER

2010-11-09T08:03:00.001-08:00

One of the most engrossing books I've not read, is Craig Ferguson's "American By Choice." I listened to the audio book, instead. It was fascinating to hear of his 20 year struggle toward fame. There were funny anecdotes, and at times the book was very moving as he discussed his loves and losses. The underlying theme of it could make most any American feel patriotic. Here's a guy who wanted to come to America because…it's AMERICA. Well, read or listen to the book for yourself.

Craig's first attempt at making waves across the pond was an early 80's gig at the "Just for Laughs" festival in Montreal. He was told that if he expected to make it down South (ie, New York) he'd have to tone down his outrageous Scottish accent, and think up a less punky and confrontational name for himself. "Bing Hitler" after all, was guaranteed to outrage Americans. We do not like to see our sacred idols abused; there's only one "Bing." Oh, and the Hitler part of it…some actually still remember his slight abuses of human rights. Although any modern day Hitler will find himself instantly admired if, whatever he says, he includes free music downloads on his website.

Over nearly two decades, Ferguson struggled with sobriety and his accent (might've been a related problem) and had successes and failures in indie movies, some of which he wrote and directed. His big break after a failed sitcom with Marie Osmond was steady work on Drew Carey's show. From there, he was shrewdly, if strangely anointed to replace obnoxious Craig Kilborn on late night television…becoming its quirkiest love-or-hate host since his boss David Letterman.

For a while Craig topped the inept Jimmy Fallon in the ratings via a wild combination of charisma and chutzpah, which has included an unusually conversational monologue style, and deliberately annoying his audience by overdoing things that once worked (pretending to be gay, using puppets, repeating catch-phrases, deliberately cursing so it can be censored, etc.) As he no doubt learned from his relations with women, a combination of arrogant raging ego, unpredictable bad-boy wit, and warm cuddly smiles and unexpected moments of love and candor, can keep people fascinated and tuning in.

Oh yes…the opening theme song on Craig's show is actually sung by Craig. He began his career as a punk drummer before writing songs and singing in the guise of bellowing punk "Bing Hitler." As much of a cult figure as Craig now is (people even sell replicas of his snake-design coffee cup on eBay) his 1986 ("Bing Hitler at the Tron") and 1988 ("Bing Hitler is Dead") albums have not been re-issued. The latter, mostly songs, contains the selected track below, "Scotland Hooch Och Aye." It must be remembered that "Bing Hitler" arrived at a time when he was urgently needed, as Johnny Rotten couldn't tell jokes and Bobcat Goldthwait couldn't carry a tune. "Scotland Hooch Och Aye," sounds a bit like Spike Milligan as the poet McGonagall trying to remember how to sing "Whiskey in the Jar," having consumed most of it.

SCOTLAND HOOCH OCH AYE - Bing Hitler

PHIL OCHS was a FARON YOUNG fan

2010-11-09T07:54:00.001-08:00

One of the influences on Phil Ochs was "the Hillbilly Heartthrob" Faron Young. Phil grew up in Texas and Ohio and, like Dylan, listened to and admired some C&W performers. Odd isn't it, that some of our favorite artists admired and sometimes copied artists that most of us can't stand. Be honest. If you're the average Dylan fan, how many times have you played Woody Guthrie or Leadbelly or all those Blind Mississippi Delta guys? If you're the average Beatles fan, how big is your collection of Carl Perkins? Or even Chuck Berry and Buddy Holly. So it is, that one generation admires and then adapts another generation's work, which has been going on ever since Mozart was influenced by Haydn or Green was influenced by Sleeves.

Phil Ochs fans? If you bothered to take a poll of all 50 of them, you'd probably find that none of 'em owns an album by Faron Young. The reason all of this comes up is a few weeks ago, I was talking with a guitarist in a famous (still touring) 60's band who hung out with Phil: "One time I told Phil that I thought he sounded like Faron Young…his phrasing. And Phil's eyes lit up. He was very happy to hear it."

If you doubt Faron Young's influence on Phil Ochs, just compare "Country Girl" to "Gas Station Women." The melody is fairly similar and so is the delivery. As for the lyrics, there's a nod to another Phil influence: Johnny Cash. Johnny's "Give My Love to Rose (please, won't you Mister)" becomes "fill her up with love please, won't you Mister."

Faron Young's early fame was at Capitol, where the kid scored a Top Five hit on the country charts with "Goin' Steady" before goin' into the Army. When he came back home, he had a 1954 #1 hit with "Live Fast, Love Hard, Die Young," and how prophetic that title would be. After all, he did die Young. And by his own hand. But let's talk about some of the good times, first.

Willie Nelson penned Faron's most famous #1, the 1961 smash "Hello Walls." Nelson also wrote 'Life Is a Picture," also covered by Mr. Young. "Swinging Doors" was written by Merle Haggard (whose "Okie from Muskogee" was covered by Phil Ochs.) In 1963 Young switched over to Mercury and averaged two albums a year through 1976, when the hits began to evaporate. In 1979 he moved to MCA for a pair of albums "Chapter Two" and "Free and Easy," which the label hoped would appeal to a wider audience than Faron's hardcore rockabillies. Singles from those albums didn't reach the Top 50: "The Great Chicago Fire" (#67) and "If I'd Only Known It Was the Last Time" (#56). That was pretty much the end for Faron, though he released a few more singles, the aptly titled" Until the Bitter End" and in 1988 "Stop and take the Time."

In 1996, grieving over the death of his daughter, and despondent over his failing health, Faron Young killed himself. While Phil had used the hangman's noose back in 1976, rough 'n' ready Faron did himself in with a revolver.

And so, in a salute to an influence on Phil Ochs, Illfolks offers a "greatest hits" compilation of Capitol and Mercury recordings, and another download for the two MCA albums that aren't widely available: "Chapter Two" (actually first one for the label) and "Free and Easy." That's more than fair…and may you stay forever Young.

TWO FARON YOUNG ALBUMS
20 FARON YOUNG FAVORITES

JERRY BOCK - Attends Funeral, Gets Funeral

2010-11-09T07:42:00.000-08:00

Joseph Stein died on October 24th. He was most famous for writing "Fiddler on the Roof," which of course is best known not for any line of the dialogue, but for the slew of hit tunes composed by the team of Bock & Harnick. Jerry Bock, the musical half of the duo, spoke at Stein's funeral. And a short time later, November 3rd, he died of heart failure. He was twenty days away from his 82nd birthday.

"What does it mean, this fiddler on the roof," Harnick's lyrics asked. And what does it mean that by such coincidence, the 98 year-old Joseph Stein and the 81 year-old Jerry Bock should die at this particular time? To quote Einstein, "How the hell should I know?" Einstein's exasperation came after being asked if there was life after death. At this point, that answer is known to Einstein, Stein and Bock. Or is it?

Bock's award-winning score for "Fiddler on the Roof" was his most famous, but he also won awards for "Fiorello," written five years earlier, and both "The Apple Tree" and "The Rothschilds," written two and six years later. If any of you can name a single song from any of those three shows, I'd be surprised. I've seen revivals of "The Apple Tree" and "Fiorello" and the only tunes I remember are from the latter…the two very similar and minor comic numbers "Politics and Poker" and "Little Tin Box."

My favorite song in "Fiddler on the Roof" was cut from the show. It's the darkly humorous "When Messiah Comes," which Herschel Bernardi recorded after taking over as Tevye from the musical's original star, boisterous Zero Mostel. It's not as bitterly sentimental as "Sunrise Sunset," as wistful as "Anatevka," or as annoying as "Matchmaker, Matchmaker." And it's not "To Life," which I think everyone agrees is "too Jewish." If Mr. Bock isn't happy about this selection, we'll find out…"When Messiah Comes."

When Messiah Comes - Music by Bock, Sung by Bernardi

VAMPIRA, Star Trek & SWAMP GIRL: LOULIE JEAN NORMAN

2010-10-29T07:46:00.000-07:00

Halloween is a few days away. 'Tis the season when the average witless blogger takes his finger out of his nose and points it to the sky, crying: "I've got a great idea! How cool would it be to do an entire Multiupload file of Halloween songs? Gosh, I'll bet nobody's thought of THAT before! Hey gang, don't buy "Monster Mash" or any of that stuff, I'll give it to you free! Trick or Treat! Trick for the artists, treat for you! Har har, ahar!"

Over here, Halloween only is a reminder that pumpkin heads (or people who have pumpkins for heads) are temporary and rot, and to paraphrase Dylan (no, the other one) Death does have dominion. And the Grim Reaper took his scythe to Loulie Jean Norman before this blog was even born. But at least she had a long life, and it's time to celebrate this neglected and sexy spook-- and delightful Southern belle.

I was a fan ever since I glommed the back cover of a Spike Jones record (because there was one; it wasn't an mp3 file with no credits or album notes) and wanted to check who was voicing "Vampira" opposite Paul Frees' "Dracula." This was one of many wonderfully creepy supernatural assignments she took. She did the ethereal warbling as "Swamp Girl," the clammy modern-day Chloe who humidly haunted Frankie Laine through muck and mire. A while later, she was back in the jungle, supplying the rather bizarre soprano wailing on "The Lion Sleeps Tonight" for The Tokens.

Ms Norman voiced ghosts for Walt Disney's "Haunted Mansion," and should've become better known to Trekkies at least, for her vocalise work on the theme song for the original "Star Trek."

Loulie (March 12, 1913-August 2, 2005) left her native Alabama to become the voice of a huge parade of Hollywood stars, dubbing: Juliet Prowse (GI BLUES, 1958), Diahann Carroll (that's Loulie singing the black blues "Summertime" in PORGY AND BESS, 1959) and Stella Stevens (TOO LATE BLUES, 1962) among others. Less important on her resume was her work as a member of the Ray Conniff Singers, and as one of the back-up singers on "Moonlight Swim," which was on the soundtrack for Elvis Presley's "Blue Hawaii." She was a friend of Gordon Jenkins, which naturally meant that she got the nod for back-up work for Frank Sinatra (notably "Trilogy") and Mel Torme ("California Suite.")

Let's simply consider her achievements with the hits "Swamp Girl," the "Star Trek" theme and "The Lion Sleeps Tonight." For this trio, Loulie Jean Norman should have a place in the Book of World Records…for instantly identifiable performances that didn't have her name on them, and for achieving greatness without singing a single written word!

Loulie is "Swamp Girl" Instant download or listen on line. No pop ups, porn ads or wait time.

From the original vinyl, Loulie is "Vampira" going up and down the scale opposite Paul Frees as "Dracula" for "All of a Sudden My Heart Sings." Instant download or listen on line. No pop-ups, porn ads, Paypal donation pleas or wait time.

Hawaii Five-O Theme (Chaquito) for James MacArthur

2010-10-29T07:37:00.000-07:00

Even if you never bothered to watch the original show, you know two things about "Hawaii 5-0." One, the great theme song. And two, the phrase "Book 'em, Danno." Danno was "Danny Williams," played by James MacArthur. "Danno" is now down under. Johnny Gregory, the choice for a rendition of the TV theme song, is still with us and celebrated his birthday this month (October 12, 1924).

Johnny Gregory (nee Gregori…his father was dance band leader Frank Gregori) recorded several albums of TV themes and lounge hits under his own name, including esoteric items such as "Melodies of Japan." But he and his orchestra also performed under such aliases as "The Cascading Strings," Nino Ricci and his orchestra, and Chaquito and his orchestra. Just why he'd have one album of hard-hitting TV themes released as Johnny Gregory and another (containing "Hawaii Five-O) as Chaquito, is hard to figure. The album as Chaquito does not have a lot of stereotypical Latino instrumentation, and most of the cuts (such as "Mannix," "Name of the Game," "Ironside") are very faithful to the originals.

People figured MacArthur (December 8, 1937 – October 28, 2010) had acting in his blood, since he was the son of Helen Hayes and her playwright husband (author of "The Front Page"). Actually, he was adopted. He looked nothing like Helen Hayes…which was a good thing for any guy hoping to play a hero on television.

Before he reached that level, he starred in several Disney movies, was on Broadway co-starring with Jane Fonda in "Invitation to a March," and toured in various stage productions around the country, including "John Loves Mary" with his first wife, the bubbly sitcom blonde Joyce Bulifant.

His second wife was "Wrangler Jane" on "F-Troop," the winsome Melody Patterson. That marriage lasted five years. They were married in Hawaii, where James was now starring in his most famous role, a role he played for eleven of the show's twelve seasons. He left before the final aloha, opting to return to the stage and a juicy role in "The Lunch Hour" opposite Cybil Shepherd.

For more, you can go to his official website, jamesmacarthur.com, where you'll find bio material, photos, and under "other goodies," links to Amazon where you can buy DVDs of seasons of "Hawaii Five-O" and some of the films that he was most proud of, including 'Battle of the Bulge," "Storm Chasers," "Spencer's Mountain," "Swiss Family Robinson,""Kidnapped" and many more.

He was gracious in his praise of the new version of his most famous TV show: "Ever since I saw the script for the pilot, I‘ve been very excited about this new Hawaii Five-0. From that first moment, I knew CBS had another winner on its hands. I can remember back to when Lenny Freeman called to invite me to participate in the original version. My first thought was, “Great! If I’m lucky, this is my free ticket to 13 weeks in Hawaii. Count me in!

Little did I know that 40 years later, people would still be calling out to me to “Book ‘em, Danno!” wherever I go, and that Hawaii Five-0 would become a worldwide phenomenon, an indelible part of our modern culture, ready tonight to launch a bold new incarnation…"

He added: "I’m looking forward to making an appearance in the new show when the time is right, and I can’t wait to see what the writers have in store for me."

Hawaii Five-O theme by CHAQUITO, aka Johnny Gregory Instant download or listen on line. No pop-ups, porn ads, Paypal donation pleas or wait time.

SOLOMON BURKE SINGS BOB DYLAN - Maggie's Farm

2010-10-29T07:33:00.000-07:00

While most who heard the news of Solomon Burke's death said, "Who?" a few soul-lovin' bloggers expressed shock and sadness at their hero's passing…almost to the point of doing something beyond posting an album cover and a link. Some actually said "R.I.P." or something like that. Anyone actually familiar with Mr. Burke had a reason to be saddened. But shocked? The man was singing in a wheelchair thanks to obesity. Put it this way, you could fit Oprah and Aretha into each leg of his pants. It was remarkable he managed to make it to 70.

Solomon (March 21, 1940 – October 10, 2010) released a new album this year and was celebrated with a nice piece in Rolling Stone (May 27th issue). It opened with a funny line about the shape of the bald man's head, "nicely symmetrical except for a flat spot on the upper left side, as if somebody took a small slice off the fat end of an Easter egg with a razor. 'That's where my mother hit me with a frying pan,' Burke says with a laugh…I had cleaned it with a Brillo pad, and she didn't want no Brillo on her frying pan.'" I need not regurgitate the other highlights. Get a subscription, same as me. It's nice to sit back with an actual magazine in hand, at least once in a while.

At least Burke was not one of those completely forgotten soul guys who end up with a few paragraphs in Rolling Stone after they die. He knew his worth, and so did his fans, who were still anxious to see him perform, even in his wheelchair. In fact he was en route to a performance in Holland when he collapsed and died. Now there's a shock…that he died on his way to entertain the Dutch…and they were actually paying for tickets. Or did he collapse when he was told that everybody in that country expected him to sing for free? PS, it's not that the Dutch have soul; maybe he was booked because they could relate so well to his obesity.

Like his body, Solomon Burke covered a wide range. Naturally enough, the choice here, for what might be your introduction to his masterful singing, is his cover of Bob Dylan's "Maggie's Farm." Not that it was the Big Man's biggie. That would be "Everybody Needs Somebody To Love," which was revived on the soundtrack to "The Blues Brothers," but attributed to Wilson Pickett. Burke's anger was quickly erased when Atlantic sent over $20,000. Earlier, the religious Mr. Burke had forgiven Atlantic execs Jerry Wexler and Bert Burns for somehow sticking their names on the song and getting a share of royalties they didn't really deserve. (Yes, a perfectly good reason to upload and download all of Burke's albums for free…as a protest against the surprising corruption one finds only in the music business, not in, say, banking, stock transactions, or political appointments to civil service jobs.)

Burke was still recording, though mostly on indie labels, including the brilliant 2002 effort 'Don't Give Up On Me." The title track's a true heartbreaker…which ain't gonna help the people who are already a little torn over Solomon's departure. There's also the 2005 "Make Do With What You Got," and the new one that led to the Rolling Stone article, "Nothing's Impossible." His farewell album isn't very commercial, but it'll be undeniably satisfying for hardcore fans of classic soul and R&B. While the title track is actually one of the weaker ones, and a bit too preachy, the other tracks include the powerful "Everything About You," and "Oh What a Feeling," the kind of piece so black it's blue, and something most guys from Joe Cocker to Randy Newman wish they could sing as well. No doubt about it, at 70 the man was still gettin' it done.

Burke left behind 21 children…which might be one reason why he was beloved by the Vatican and was given a chance to meet both Pope John Paul II and Pope Benedict XVI. You just can't have enough children can you? Every sperm is sacred, amen. His official website is thekingsolomonburke.com and the current message there is as follows:

"We graciously thank you for your continued support and love. We find strength in your well wishes, your great stories and your dedications. To continue the legacy, please donate to: The Burke-Maynard Foundation (Solomon Burke Scholarship Award) and/or Solomon’s Temples of the World House of God for All People – a 501 c3 Non- Profit (donations will be for the maintenance of his church and legacy) P.O. Box 2044, Beverly Hills CA. 90213. In Solomon's words, "No donation is too small or too big!" May Solomon's message of love and peace continue to live within us for everlasting eternity. All is Well!"

SOLOMON BURKE on MAGGIES FARM

Remembering JANE DORNACKER: LEILA & THE SNAKES

2010-10-29T07:30:00.000-07:00

Time flies. So did Jane Dornacker until the accident that happened 24 years ago this month, when she helicoptered into the Hudson River.

Jane called herself Leila for that all-girl group, and while the remnants of the rock group Fanny put out an album called "Rock and Roll Survivors," Leila's choice of anthem was "Rock and Roll Weirdos." It was released as a single and is a fairly rare collectors item these days.

Also in the golden era of the late 70's, Jane guested with R. Crumb and his Cheap Suit Serenaders for the lead vocal on "Christopher Columbus." She and Illfolks-fave Ron Nagle wrote one of the best of The Tubes' non-hits, the legendary "Don't Touch Me There." She would memorably tour with The Tubes, and then veer off into improv comedy,and work at the Magic Theatre in San Francisco. In an interesting segue, the woman who rarely had a song on AM-radio became the radio traffic reporter for KFRC. She then flew to the East Coast to join WNBC, where Joey Reynolds was the afternoon mouth. Joey's still on the air locally in New York.

Jane (October 1, 1947-October 22 1986) was in the traffic helicopter as usual, and at about a quarter to five, was getting set for that hectic time when people were leaving work and wanting to know the best ways to get the hell out of NYC, and if it would be the Holland or Lincoln Tunnel, or the GWB. Six months earlier, the helicopter malfunctioned, but Jane and her pilot made a safe landing in the water and were even able to swim to safety. This time, her calm report on Holland Tunnel and Lincoln Tunnel traffic suddenly changed: "Hit the water!" she suddenly called out, "Hit the water! Hit the water!"

Then there was silence. Even worse, there was a song by Huey Lewis and the News, as Joey Reynolds vowed to keep the music playing, while calling, "Find out what's going on with the helicopter. Something happened there. It's quarter of five…I hope nothing happened with Jane…say a little prayer, hope nothing's wrong…that's really…that's a hard, hard job…"

A malfunction sent the helicopter on a tilt, nose-diving downward. They were close to the shore line, and Jane was praying that her pilot could make a safe landing in the water. Instead, he hit a fence at the pier. And then the helicopter keeled over into the drink. The injured pilot was taken to a local hospital and survived. It was too late for Jane. The hard-luck punk-rocker and traffic reporter was a recent widow…and now her 16 year-old daughter was an orphan. The girl received a rather small ($325,000) settlement from the helicopter company.

While this is sometimes a tasteless and morbid blog (now is where the "Dead as a Dornacker" phrase sneaks in), it only reflects human nature. Some of you are thinking, "Wouldn't it be wicked cool if there was actually a tape of Jane Dornacker's last broadcast? I'd love to hear it." And for you, just cut and paste this link: http://www.ohms.com/tragedy.wav

As Jane's co-write for The Tubes is easily available, as is R. Crumb's Cheapsuit music, here's "Rock and Roll Weirdos," which should still serve as an inspiration for all…and harken back to a time of light-hearted dark humor, non-pushy rebellion and a celebration of simply being different and a free-thinker in ways that don't harm anyone else.

LEILA AND THE SNAKES: ROCK AND ROLL WEIRDOS Instant download or listen on line. No pop-ups, porn ads, Paypal donation pleas or wait time.

ILL-Ustrated Songs #19 : DARLA HOOD - MY QUIET VILLAGE

2010-10-19T08:37:00.000-07:00

What turned one of the Little Rascals into a grown up sexy Lounge lizard? It probably had something to do with her marriage. Darla Hood divorced her insurance salesman hubby in 1957, and the ex-child star and most famous female of the "Our Gang" comedies, married record company exec Jose Granson the same year. Which was 1957, the year she recorded her first demi-hit, "I Just Wanna Be Free."

"My Quiet Village" arrived in 1959. Yes, the song was intended to cash in the rage for what we now call "exotica," the music that backpack-wearers now clamber over themselves to acquire, breaking their horn rims and breaking wind, as they hunker over musty cardboard boxes of albums in thrift shops or at nerd-events like the WFMU record fair.

Darla's birthday is coming up soon (November 8, 1931 - June 13, 1979) which is a good reason to post this oddity. Another reason is to get her name onto "Captain Crawl," because as you see, when you type it in at the moment, you're told that you must've typed the wrong name...

"My Quiet Village" was originally released on the indie Ray Note label, and credited to Baxter-Leven (the sheet music gives the full names, Leslie Baxter and Mel Leven). Darla would follow "My Quiet Village" with "Silent Island," for which she supplied the lyrics. Billboard enthused, "ballad, chanted warmly by the chick to a lush backing featuring strings." But we'll leave that for another time, and somebody else's blog.

DARLA HOOD livens up MY QUIET VILLAGE

HEY LIBERACE! Charlie Adams & The End of the Liberace Museum

2010-10-19T08:21:00.000-07:00

Thirty people have lost their jobs. They worked for the Liberace Museum in Las Vegas, which shut down two days ago, on October 17th.

Would you believe that a museum could survive for so many years, just on people wanting to admire somebody's silly hairstyle, corny music and a life built around over-the-top costumes? But why mention Graceland at all?

The workers at Lee's tributary knew the end was near; it was as obvious and painful as a rhinestone condom. Years ago, Liberace's museum was almost as successful as the Nashville shrine for Elvis, with about a half-million visitors. In recent days, it was almost as vacant as the expression in George Michael's eyes.

Wladziu Liberace (or "Lee" as he was known to his fans) was an influence on a lot of stars who discovered that showmanship and salesmanship had something in common. Another flamboyant figure around the same time was the wrestler "Gorgeous George." One might argue that Elvis would not have dared showing up in flashy costumes if not for Liberace, and that today, Hulk Hogan wouldn't be wearing feathered boas in public. These days, people point to Adam Lambert as a child of Liberace's. Well, yes, but if he really was, he came out through the asshole, didn't he? An adequate pianist, Liberace became a sensation thanks to his costumes, his coif, and his 200 watt toothy smile. He also had a sense of humor (before "camp" was a common word) and winked as he told the world he was crying "all the way to the bank" over what critics were saying. He also banked plenty of money from what scandal writers were implying in Confidential Magazine and The Daily Mirror. He successfully sued them since they had no actual photographic proof or notarized statements of male lovers that he was gay. Lee in fact went to his grave denying that he was homosexual.

On Jack Paar's show Liberace memorably ad-libbed music for some poetry from "Cassius Clay." He appeared in many an amusing TV variety show sketch, and even turned up as the evil pianist Chandell as a guest-villain on "Batman." He made albums featuring musical flourishes that were the audio equivalent of drawing a circle over an i instead of dotting it. These albums of semi-classical favorites and overly familiar pop hits were favorites of grannies everywhere.

The maestro died of AIDS February 4, 1987 at age 67, but loyal fans still remembered him and went to his shrine. Till now. 500,000 visitors one year, now just 50,000, and with building renovations needed and no big royalties coming in on Lee's music, or big contributions, Lee's costumes have been mothballed and his memorabilia stored away. Vegas ain't what it used to be, and each generation chooses who remains a legend and who doesn't. And so Liberace joins the tarnished angels in that wing of heaven where Eddie Cantor and Sophie Tucker also grimace, mime, and smile for all eternity.

Liberace's piano style could be described in one word; "plinky." His vocals could be characterized as coming out as a slightly more masculine Paul Lynde. And his message might be summed up in a phrase that was a favorite of Michael Flanders: "Always be sincere, whether you mean it or not." Even so, he did it his way, he became rich and famous, he is STILL beloved, and how many performers ever had a museum in their honor? For almost all of us, what Liberace achieved is an "Impossible Dream." (All right, not everyone dreams of anal sex…) And as this entry slowly sinks into smarm, we wave a white flag trimmed in lace, and offer "The Impossible Dream" as plinked AND narrated by the one, the only, the undefeated, undisputed…LIBERACE.

For those who wish to delve further, there's a Rapid download of a dozen of his best loved instrumentals, AND you also get a novelty song from Charlie Adams. The hillbilly offers a very good-natured call-out, "Hey Liberace," at a time when most rednecks would've gladly hung poor Lee by the thumbs off a backyard pepper tree. The museum's gone, but the musical memories linger on.

A DOZEN Liberace Favorites, Rapidly shared. Featuring show-off piano numbers: Begin the Beguine, Stella by Starlight, Nola, Laura, Tico-Tico, Stardust, Kitten on the Keys, Chopsticks, Blue Tango, Old Piano Roll Blues, Slaughter on Tenth Avenue and I'll Be Seeing You. '

Update November 2011: Rapidshare deletes files if they aren't uploaded often enough to suit them. A few songs have been re-upped individually via a better service:

LIBERACE plays and sings "The Impossible Dream"

Hillbilly Charlie Adams cries out "HEY LIBERACE!"

A GREAT MADWOMAN DIES: JOAN SUTHERLAND

2010-10-19T08:17:00.000-07:00

Can you imagine Kanye West or Eminem rapping a song…and getting a five minute standing ovation? That's what often happened when Dame Joan Sutherland performed an aria. In 1959, at Covent Garden, the crowd went nuts for 19 minutes, following her performance as "Lucia di Lammermoor."

So why would Sutherland end up on the Illfolks blog? Because the average person took her for granted. They preferred the flashier and more controversial Maria Callas, or even the warm and kindly Beverly Sills. To the average opera fan, Bony Joan was not authentic enough for Italian opera (we want Tebaldi!) wasn't ethnic enough for the trendy (Leontyne Price was what they wanted), didn't have a back story of emotional troubles (Teresa Stratas) and wasn't one of those giant Wagnerian windbags (Kirsten Flagstad) or chunky fireplugs (Marilyn Horne). The Aussie singer was, to critics, simply "La Stupenda," and they admired both her opera performances and her recordings of aria, such as the Grammy-winning "Art of the Prima Donna" in 1960.

I'll admit that Joan Sutherland, OM AC DBE (those are honors, not her license plate) is not my "fave." When I first started experimenting with opera, I was craven enough to prefer a beautiful woman on the cover of a boxed set, which meant De Los Angeles, Peters or Neblett. But in the same way "you're beautiful when you're angry," a woman can be very attractive when she goes nuts. And so, I was quite pleased with a VHS tape of Sutherland in "Lucia de Lammermoor," doing her mad scene in a bloody gown. There were plenty of other operas for Joan that involved grand mad scenes or death scenes, which didn't require a great beauty, which is something the lantern-jawed Joanie was not. As she aged, she sort of began resembling a moray eel…all prominent nose and chin, flashing rows of pretty dangerous teeth.

In part thanks to her husband, who urged her to abandon her ambition of singing heavy Wagnerian opera, Sutherland excelled in roles that showed off her flexibility, range, and trademark "trill," which is what being a "coloratura" is all about. Americans saw her regularly on "The Bell Telephone Hour" (a DVD of highlights exists).

While her "Lucia de Lammermoor" remains a highlight, "Esclarmonde" was her own favorite role…one of the most difficult ones for any coloratura. She eased toward retirement in the 1980's, and gave her last operatic performance in her native Australia, in 1990. After tutoring students, taking a few acting roles and judging talent competitions, Sutherland gradually eased away from the music world entirely. Bluntly stated three years ago; "I'm 80 years old and I really don't want to have anything to do with opera anymore." She preferred tending her own garden in Switzerland…where she fell, breaking both her legs.

The 81 year-old diva recovered, and was still in pretty good health up till last year, when she turned up at Buckingham Palace for a luncheon with The Queen. Sutherland was greatly devoted to the monarchy, and to Australia keeping its ties with Great Britain, and this led to the only real controversy in her career.

In 1994 she told Australians, 'I'm a very ardent supporter of the monarchy and I can't imagine not having our wonderful allegiance to our heritage, to our Queen and to our right to have this wonderful, wonderful on-going connection with home. My parents loved the old country and I was brought up believing I was British. I used to have a British passport and it really upsets me that I don't any more. It also upsets me that it is such a damned job to get an Australian passport now - you have to go to be interviewed by a Chinese or an Indian. I'm not particularly racist, but I find it ludicrous.'

Some found her remark racist, and the media gleefully jumped all over Joan Sutherland, who by then was no longer performing and therefore ready for scorn and abuse. Now, as Stanton said at Lincoln's bedside, she "belongs to the ages." She died last fortnight. (November 7 1926 – October 10, 2010). Since most any normal person can only stand opera for a limited amount of time, your download is five fine examples of aria. If you want more, her album of arias is very much in print.

Slippin' you five on Joan: (The Soldier Tir'd - ARNE, Bel Raggio Lusinghier - ROSSINI, Ah! Je Veux Viuvre - GONOUD, Ou Va La Jeune Indoue - DELIBES and Caro Nome - VERDI)

HUGH DOWNS SINGS FOLK SONGS

2010-10-19T08:01:00.000-07:00

When he was on television regularly, Hugh Downs was genial and a gentleman. I'm sure he still is. He believed that being invited into your home, even via a television set, was no excuse for being loud. It was easy to neglect or underestimate Hugh Downs for that very reason, as he quietly and tastefully built up hour after hour and year after year of being the host of a variety of talk and news shows. From 1958-1969 he hosted the quiz show "Concentration" (David Letterman is still fond of randomly quoting: "Not a match…the board goes back"). He was so erudite on that program that few would've guessed that in his spare time he avidly listened to country artist Red Foley: "I think Red Foley is one of the greatest singers of all time. And I include him with Caruso…I'm serious. His singing represents life and that's what music should do." It might've been his interest in Foley that ultimately led him to meld folk tunes to his mellow, urbane style of vocalizing on his obscure Epic album.

Well known to housewives via his daytime work, Downs became known to night owls as the announcer on Jack Paar's "Tonight Show." He smoothly took over on the infamous night Paar walked off in a snit, and so it wasn't much of a surprise when NBC decided to make him the host of their morning talk show, "The Today Show" (1962-1971). He would later anchor the evening news-magazine show "20/20" starting in 1978 and stayed with the show until he retired in 1999. Not just a "news reader," Downs was deeply involved in breaking stories and getting behind the news. Among his valuable news specials for ABC: "Growing Old in America," a three-hour documentary aired in 1985, "The Poisoning of America," an environmental special in 1988, and "Depression, Beyond the Darkness," in 1990.

A sidelight for Hugh Downs was hosting the classical music series "Live from Lincoln Center" from 1990 to 1996, but let's get back to the musical subject: "An Evening with Hugh Downs." At the time it turned up, Hugh sometimes would sing on "The Tonight Show." With the folk boom in progress, and "ordinary" fellows such as Burl Ives having such success, it wasn't much of a stretch for Epic Records to give the amiable Mr. Downs some studio time to record a pleasant, intimate album of songs, with spoken introductions.

The cover notes tried to liven up his mild image by pointing out his colorful hobbies: "skin diver, astronomer, antique gun and furniture authority, student of American history, delver into philosophy and psychology, ardent volunteer worker in Mental Health Campaigns, studious collector of symphony recordings, composer, pianist, guitarist, artist, amateur physicist, hi-fi set builder, telescope maker, avid reader, husband and father." The notes also mention Mr. Burl Ives, who was impressed by a Hugh Downs appearance on TV. Downs recalls that Burl "told me I deserved to wear a beard. I told him I wouldn't grow one. I had a mustache for five years but I finally did it in. It was sapping my strength."

As you'd expect, there's no "up" to Downs on his album. He maintains a generally calm and conversational tone throughout his set of a dozen songs. Your sample, the last two tracks on side one: "Drink To Me Only With Thine Eyes" and "The Ride Back from Boot Hill." Mr. Hugh Downs is a great man, and deserves a lot of respect, but to make sure this post isn't too respectful, the album photo's been altered for a favorite Illfolks Photoshop stunt…turning a chord change into an excuse for giving the finger…which he can give to those who only see him on infomercials and ignorantly wonder what he did to get such an easy gig. The answer is he not only worked hard for 50 years, he did it with warmth, grace and conscience.

Two Folks Songs from HUGH DOWNS Instant download or listen on line. No pop-unders, porn ads, or wait time from pimp-like file hosting "services" selling premium accounts.

ANOTHER FIRST for the ILLFOLKS BLOG. Here's how it looked last week, when you typed in HUGH DOWNS at CAPTAINCRAWL.COM:

Eleanor McEvoy & John Lennon's 70th Birthday

2010-10-09T07:39:00.000-07:00

It was the night of October 9th, six years ago. Mid-way into her set, Eleanor McEvoy did what I was hoping she'd do...sing "Last Seen October 9th."
By way of preface, expecting her song title for an answer, she asked the audience, "Anyone know what day this is?"
From my ringside seat, I answered, "Yes...John Lennon's birthday."
"Is it?"
"Yes...October 9th."
"Really. I didn't know that..."

Today, everybody knows it, because today, October 9, 2010, John Lennon would have celebrated his 70th birthday.

On October 9th, years ago, Eleanor explained that she rarely performed the grim "Last Seen October 9th" song on stage, but being October 9th, it was a fitting night for it. And while it's about a person gone missing, not someone assassinated, for me and for perhaps others in the crowd, the song evoked John's image, in its quiet lines about life's fragility and the emptiness that goes with loss.

This simple, stark song is about a girl gone missing, and the sad, "last seen..." signs her family nailed to trees and taped to lamp posts...an act of futility dressed as hope.

After the show, I mentioned to Eleanor that home-made "last seen" signs, xeroxed with a snapshot of the missing loved one, were vivid on bus shelters and lamp posts and in store windows after 9/11, and stayed up until the rains and wind mottled and bent them, and the faces and names on them were faded and streaked.

It was impossible to hear her song without thinking about 9/11, but also, on Lennon's birthday, to not think about John. A missing person and missing a person. It all comes down to the same bittersweet memories. For me, Lennon's death is a trauma still raw even after 30 years, and I'm fortunate that the way I was able to cope with it was getting a call asking me to work on a tribute magazine, some 250,000 copies to go out as fast as I could write and the printer could print. And so those shocking days were spent in work, and in tribute.

And this month, there's a new John Lennon boxed set and new mixes of his albums, and the usual rationalizations for this material being given away by the usual people in the usual places. Hell, John's not alive. Hell, Yoko is nasty. Hell, we already have this stuff so why pay for the time it took to re-master the material. Hell, hell, hell. This, from people who spend more on a night out they won't remember, then on music they will spend a lifetime playing over and over. This, from people who don't seem to get the message of John's songs. It makes me think that if John was around, he'd explain the irony of being doped on religion, sex and free Internet downloads of anything that can be digitized...and thinking you're clever, classless and free, when you're all...

One of the nice things about having a real CD instead of a blip in your iPod, is you have the artist's complete vision, including the booklet and lyrics. You also have something that can be autographed. Eleanor did not sell her latest CD at her gig. I asked her why, and she said it was just too much to carry them around, gig to gig. I think she may have also found it a bit demeaning, after giving a performance, to have to become a merchant. I brought my copy, she autographed it, and it's reproduced here, amended a bit in tribute to John.

"Last Seen October 9th" appears on "Yola," Eleanor's first album after going indie. She's issued several since, and though it was well over $20 as an import, I got her latest, which has arrived the same October month as the Lennon box set. As an indie release, on her own label, Eleanor gets most of the money, and maintains control. Of course thanks to the publicity machines at two major labels, her mammoth and well-covered hit "Only a Woman," and over a decade of building a following, she can actual sell some copies, which is a rare feat for an indie artist. The new one's called "I'd Rather Go Blonde," and is, as the title might suggest, not as dark as her previous albums of original songs. I'd rather have it in CD form than mp3 download, and I'd rather buy it than get it via a "share," because I care about the woman. $20 to have the album is a better deal than spending it on a dinner that'll just be a memory and a shit the following day.

October, 2010. A new album is out from Ireland's Eleanor McEvoy, and the best we could hope for in new releases from New York City's John Lennon...is re-mixes, re-masters, and a stripped down 'Double Fantasy.' The box set also includes a CD of outtakes and demos to give us just a little more from a man we miss so very much.
OCTOBER 9th Listen on line, no pop-ups, porn ads or wait time.

ILL-Ustrated Songs #18 : The haunting SHARLEEN SPITERI

2010-10-09T07:37:00.000-07:00

Creepy and spooky, mysterious and retro, here's the nicely ooky "I'm Going to Haunt You," one of the better modern "vamp" songs out there, and a strange cross between Morticia Addams and Nancy Sinatra. The gruesomely winsome song is right there with lethal Illfolks fave Jill Tracy's "Evil Night Together" from the 1999 album "Diabolical Streak."

Unlike Tracy, Sharleen is only slumming in the world of erotic evil. She rarely wears glamour make-up these days, and most of the other tracks on her 2008 album "Melody" veer into other old-becomes-new directions, including "All the Times I Cried," which echoes the big beat days of Dusty Springfield.

Sharleen's newest release is a concept album "The Movie Songbook," which tackles a variety of great and not-so-great songs made popular in films. She sings "The Sound of Silence" from "The Graduate" and "Windmills of Your Mind" from "The Thomas Crown Affair" as well as "Xanadu" from the Olivia Newton-John film of the same name. The Glasgow beauty who fronted the band Texas through three platinum U.K. releases before turning solo, is now serious about her own film career, so watch for her up on a silver screen near you. For more information visit her website: http://www.sharleenspiteri.co.uk/
SHARLEEN SPITERI: I'm Going to Haunt You

IVY LEAGUE TRIO "MORELLA" for LEONA GAGE

2010-10-09T07:34:00.000-07:00

You've never heard of Leona Gage. Her one moment of fame was instantly snatched away from her, leaving her disgraced. Her one memorable film role in a cult horror film…simply didn't lead to anything more. Her one hope, to have the strength to forego more suicide attempts and live out her days, even if it meant running tubes up her nose for oxygen and living in near poverty…was granted up till a few days ago, October 5th. She died that day, forgotten by horror movie fans, scandal-lovers, and most of the husbands and children she left or who left her along her difficult path in life.

One of the fortunate things about real newspapers, is that they pay real writers to do real research. As more newspapers fall, replaced by low-attention span websites, fewer writers will be given the time and expense-account dollars to research anything, whether it's vital news about terror cells, a hard-hitting piece that uncovers corruption, or simply a human interest story on someone who has a story that needs to be told, and told well. John Woestendiek, of the Baltimore Sun, took the time to interview Leona Gage, her relatives and friends, in 2005. If you want to read a really in-depth report on the woman, you'll find his story on line. It starts with an incident when she was a child:

"Growing up in the Piney Woods of east Texas, her friends were mostly imaginary or four-legged - fairies, "weed people" and wildlife. She remembers a rabbit, getting closer every day to taking lettuce from her hand. One day, sprawled on the ground, arm extended, she waited as motionlessly as a 3-year-old could as it drew nearer than it ever had. Then a shot rang out. The rabbit collapsed in a headless lump. She screamed for a long time."

Here's your link for the rest:

http://www.baltimoresun.com/entertainment/bal-missusa041005,0,6686993.story

Briefly stated here, Mary Leona Gage grew up poor, her mother trying to support the family. Her father had been left brain-damaged and paralyzed by an industrial accident. Mary grew up pretty, and in the white trash world, it was inevitable she'd end up pregnant and subsequently married off at 14, have another child, and consigned to a bitter life of drudgery and poverty. What saved her, was her beauty. Ultimately, she entered and won the "Miss USA" crown, assured by her friends and sponsors that being a "Mrs." with two kids was "no problem." Within a day of winning, her past was revealed and she was stripped of the title.

Today, in the mediocre world of Kardashian and Hilton and supermodels from Janice Dickinson to Vanessa Williams and Naomi Campbell, scandal instantly translates to stardom. Back then, not so much. Sympathy for the girl led to a few offers, but hard luck followed her and knocked her down (or knocked her up). In 1962, her approximately 4 minute role as "Morella" opposite Vincent Price in the opening segment of "Tales of Terror" was not considered much of an achievement.

Back then Vincent Price, Peter Lorre and the rest were working low-budget, and the horror films we now call "classics" were considered B-movie double-bill fodder, seldom reviewed or praised. Somehow Roger Corman didn't capitalize on Leona's strangely cruel brand of beauty (similar in a way to Barbara Steele) and she not only didn't get another part in his Poe series, she sank so low so quickly that in 1965 Holloway House came knocking, ready to give her a much-needed $900 in exchange for her ok on a ghost-written and luridly embellished autobiography. The title was "My name is Leona Gage, Will Somebody Please Help Me?" -- taken from her first words coming out of a failed suicide attempt. It was only slightly less embarrassing than the autobiography Holloway published for Barbara Payton, brazenly titled "I Am Not Ashamed."

After that, Gage drifted through marriages and obscurity. And speaking of obscurity, it's time to mention yet again the Ivy League Trio, who, around the same time as Roger Corman's cycle of Poe movies, resurrected themselves (and replaced "Bev" Galloway with Ronn Langford) to get a one-shot deal with Reprise. The concept album: "Folk Tales from the World of Edgar Allan Poe." It's possible that visions of Leona appeared in their minds as they sang their version of "Morella," which is your download below.

Leona Gage's only lines in "Tales of Terror" are these: "All these years, I've waited to return. All these years I've waited to avenge myself!"

MORELLA by The Ivy League Trio

U.K. LOSES WISDOM : Norman Wisdom, 95 "Don't Laugh At Me"

2010-10-09T07:33:00.001-07:00

Some British comedy and music travels well. Not all. Norman Wisdom was such a big star in the U.K. he was knighted. In America he's not so well remembered. He had his chance in the mid-60's, when anything British was eagerly brought to Broadway and the Ed Sullivan Show, from Flanders & Swann to Morecambe and Wise. And so it was that Norman Wisdom scored a modest hit with the musical "Walking Happy," and it led to a logical role in the nostalgia-based 'Night They Raided Minsky's" in 1968. But "the little man" had been a U.K. favorite for nearly 20 years before that movie, and he'd be a favorite, and still performing in England, for about 40 years after it.

So ask any Brit about Norman Wisdom, and you'll get many more paragraphs than he gets here…an appreciation of his TV shows and his classic films…including "Just My Luck" (1957), "A Square Peg" (1958) and "A Stitch in Time" (1963) the latter featuring the always reliable British staple, "the bloke in drag." Perhaps another factor in Wisdom's lack of interest in America was that we had our own variations on "the little man," including perky Red Buttons (a big star for a few years on 50's TV). Also, America's post-Chaplin tastes tended to be toward brasher comedy heroes, such as Bob Hope, Danny Kaye and Red Skelton, all movie contemporaries of Norman Wisdom in the 50's. Later, our "everyman" was Jack Lemmon. If we needed an asshole, we had Jerry Lewis.

Wisdom (February 4 1915 – October 4, 2010) was lucky to have such a remarkably long life and career. He announced his retirement at 90, recognizing the fog of old age creeping over him. He did come out of his daze and have enough good days to do interviews and even some cameo roles in films. Having been knighted, he was far from forgotten among fans of British comedy. Sadly, when you live a long enough time in a country that has rampant inflation and high taxes, your nest egg can get fried. And so toward the end the question was whether Norman's bank account would be tapped out before the man himself. Not too funny to think of all the ordinary citizens in their 80's and 90's who are wishing they were blooming well dead.

Your download to remember Sir Norman by? Well, no easy joke about the title of the song, which is "Don't Make Me Laugh," because when he was on, he could make anyone laugh. Don't expect to chuckle…the song is similar to the moment when Danny Kaye would get serious in a musical…and it anticipates the overdone "What Kind of Fool Am I" style of Anthony Newley. Norman himself might prefer a comparison to Charlie Chaplin's self-penned bit of sentiment, "Smile."

The song can be found on the budget 3-CD compilation "The Best of British Comedy," (even if the cut isn't comedy at all). The compilation is a decent initiation for those who are curious about other "U.K. only" names such as Clive Dunn, Al Read, Alfie Bass, Roy Hudd and Dick Emery…as well as the ones most any comedy fan should know, including Benny Hill, Spike Milligan, Bernard Cribbins, Peter Sellers and the aforementioned teams of Morecambe and Wise and Flanders and Swann.

NORMAN WISDOM - Don't Laugh at Me

GREG GIRALDO DEAD - Underwear Goes Inside the Pants

2010-09-29T16:05:00.000-07:00

Greg Giraldo was a likable motor-mouthed comic who was probably best known for giving and receiving outrageous and raunchy insults on cable TV's Comedy Central roasts. He had his own series on Comedy Central, two specials for the channel, and issued CDs for the Comedy Central label as well.

But behind the scenes, there was always talk of substance abuse. First, it was heavy drinking. But now, the talk is about the prescription medication that took his life. On September 25th, quite ironically, Greg appeared at the 3rd Annual New York Recovery Rally in Randall's Island Park, a celebration for people getting their lives together after addiction. That night he was back in New Jersey where he was appearing at a club inappropriately titled "Stress Factory." Reportedly there was a "wild party" going on in his hotel room at the East Brunswick Hilton. He was taken from there unconscious, and lingered in a local hospital before dying today, September 29th. He was 44.

Born in Queens, his father Colombian and his mother Spanish, Giraldo (December 10, 1965-September 29, 2011) graduated from Harvard Law School but turned to a comedy career, becoming accepted by Colin Quinn, Lewis Black and other edgy wiseguys. He appeared on "Tough Crowd with Colin Quinn," "Lewis Black's Root of all Evil," "Late Night with Conan O'Brien," and was a judge on last season's "Last Comic Standing."

A few years ago some of his monologue material was mated to crappy music for "Underwear Goes Inside the Pants," credited to "Lazyboy." A variation on the technique pioneered decades ago by Murray Roman, it doesn't exactly work too well...most people would either like to hear the music alone, or Greg alone...but as this is a music blog, it's the choice of a tribute for him.

It's usually said, for lack of anything better, "he will be missed." Greg certainly will. Along with Lisa Lampanelli and Jeff Ross, Greg's appearances on the Comedy Central Roasts were always on target and never disappointing. He was coming into his prime as both a stand-up comic and showed some potential as a comic actor for films or a sitcom. He leaves behind three kids, many friends, and a lot of great comedy we can all still enjoy. Above, the trademark Greg Giraldo "what me worry" expression. Below, your download.

Greg Giraldo, monologue with music: Underwear Goes Inside the Pants.

PHIL OCHS "There But for Fortune"

2010-09-29T08:14:00.000-07:00

The new Phil Ochs documentary, Kenneth Bowser's "There But for Fortune," is a brilliant one, which correctly identifies Phil as a major player on both the music and political scene, and strong influence in his time. And his influence has endured. With input from the family (who appear on screen, including Phil's wife, daughter, brother and sister) the humanity of Phil emerges, and without tears, the tragedy of his decline is also examined. Check philochsthemovie.com for the latest info.

The film's title is of course based on one of Phil's songs. As Michael Simmons mentioned in his liner notes for "On My Way," a collection of newly discovered 1963 recordings by Phil, "these topical songs are in the 21st century. Change some names and facts, and one is confronted with the horrifying and tedious reality that we're debating the same simple matters of justice 47 years later." "There But for Fortune" opens with two potent lines that could easily lead you to think of the Middle East and the World Trade Center:

"Show me a country where the bombs had to fall, Show me the ruins of the buildings once so tall…"

Update: the Illfolks salute to Phil Ochs was more than a share, it was also a Cher. But a busy-bot forced its removal here...which hopefully means her version, currently out of print and never on CD, will turn up for you to enjoy. More common cover versions are around from: Chad & Jeremy, Francoise Hardy, Joan Baez, The Living Voices, The New Christy Minstrels, Peter Paul and Mary, the Spokesmen, Tom Paxton and Marianne Faithfull, making it arguably Phil's most popular song. Below, you get a version from Phil himself, NOT something you can buy; a track from a yet-to-be-released concert recorded at The Stables in East Lansing, Michigan in 1973. Which is here to serve as an intro for those who've never heard of Mr. Ochs.

PHIL at EAST LANSING PHIL OCHS: THERE BUT FOR FORTUNE, East Lansing unreleased live version Instant listen or download...no pop-ups, pop-unders, porn-ads, Russian website spyware or wait-time extortion.

LEONARD NIMOY "If I Had A Hammer" for IRWIN SILBER

2010-09-29T08:12:00.000-07:00

"Sing out!"

In the early folkie days, most any pad with no heat up on Sullivan Street would probably have well-creased copies of "Sing Out!" and "Broadside" lying around. Irwin Silber (October 17, 1925 – September 8, 2010) was the co-founder of "Sing Out!" and helmed it from 1950 to 1967 (it's still around). It was there that "Sixteen Tons," "This Land is Your Land" and many other classics were published.

"Sing Out," was a phrase in "If I Had a Hammer" (aka "The Hammer Song") written by half of The Weavers, Lee Hays and Pete Seeger. Folk singers were supposed to sing out danger, warnings, and love "between my brothers and my sisters." The order was up to them. Like most of those ardent Commie lefty troublemakers producing and promoting folk music, Silber was Jewish…and his main concerns had nothing to do with Jews and most everything to do with blacks, Puerto Ricans, Cubans, coal miners and others he felt were doing a lot worse than himself.

Silber was so much a part of the hardcore folk movement that he was among the critics of Bob Dylan for going electric at Newport. Silber put it down in black and white, in the notorious November 1965 issue of "Sing Out!" In his open letter to Bob, he declared "you…somehow lost contact with people," due to "the paraphernalia of fame." ("Chords of fame" would've been Phil Ochs' line!) Silber added, "Your new songs seem to be all inner-directed now, inner-probing, self-conscious - maybe  even a little maudlin or a little cruel on occasion. And it's happening onstage, too. You seem to be relating to a handful of cronies behind the scenes now - rather than to the rest of us out front."

Dylan's knee-jerk reaction was to forbid his song lyrics from appearing in "Sing Out!" About three years later, Silber came around to realizing Dylan's vision as a rock star, and wrote "Dylan is our poet - not our leader." And Dylan, circa 2009, allowed, "I liked Irwin, but I couldn't relate (to the criticism)."

Although Dylan and most of the other young folkies had migrated away from Woody Guthrie and "The Grapes of Wrath," as folk and "folk rock" were replaced by simply "rock," Silber remained "old school," and in 1970 co-founded Paredon Records with his wife Barbara Dane. She produced and he marketed over 50 albums in 15 years, protesting the war in Vietnam, champing independence for Puerto Rico, and being as iconoclastic as possible. Dane contributed her own album, "I Hate the Capitalist System," which arrived in 1973.

Irwin spent the 80's as co-editor of Frontline, and finished up his career (1990-1995) as an associate editor at Crossroads magazine. He was slowed by Alzheimer's, and you can see more about that at the KQED website, where Barbara Dane is interviewed, along with Irwin, about "early stage Alzheimer's." http://www.kqed.org/quest/television/alzheimers-is-the-cure-in-the-genes. Irwin was asked how he felt about the progress of the disease, and if he was concerned about living another five or ten years, and he replied, "I've lived my life…I'm satisfied no matter what. I did something, and I feel good about it." And at the time, he still remembered.

And speaking of brain damage, since you're already familiar with the anthemic versions of "If I Had a Hammer" popularized by Trini Lopez and Peter Paul and Mary, your download is the Leonard Nimoy version.

"If I Had a Hammer" by LEONARD NIMOY Instant listen or download...no pop-ups, pop-unders, porn-ads, Russian website spyware or wait-time extortion.

EDDIE FISHER : SCANDAL, PRINCESS LEIA and BRANGELINA

2010-09-29T08:10:00.000-07:00

Obits for Eddie Fisher (August 10, 1928 – September 22, 2010) barely mentioned his fame as a popular singer in the 50's. Who'd care? Eddie's rivals back then included other forgotten names such as Guy Mitchell and Miss Toni Fisher. Had either of them died a few days ago, their obits would've been a paragraph or two at best.

The Washington Post led with the headline: "1950's singing star was brought low by scandalous love life." NBC's website (nbclosangeles.com) headlined: "Princess Leia's Father Died." The Associated Press's obit began: "Long before the era of Brangelina, TMZ and around-the-clock celebrity obsession, Eddie Fisher had a leading role in arguably the most explosive sex scandal of Hollywood's golden age…."

I think Eddie Fisher knew, late in life, his fame was not his forgotten hits. Almost nobody wants to hear "Thinking of You," "Any Time," "Tell Me Why" or "I'm Yours" even though they all were Top Five in their day. He had four #1 hits: Wish You Were Here (1952), I'm Walking Behind You (1952) "Oh My Pa Pa" (1953) and "I Need You Now" (1954). None have stood the test of time. On "Oh My Pa Pa" Fisher sounds like a younger version of the man who discovered him: Eddie Cantor. And everybody hates Eddie Cantor.

And so it is, that the blandly likable Mr. Fisher was best known as the hapless fool of "The Great Scandal," which was a zillion times more potent than the preceding one, a B-list brawl between bony Franchot Tone, hulking Tom Neal and hoyden Barbara Payton. Briefly, Eddie and Debbie Reynolds were a storybook couple who sang sappy songs and even made a rotten film together. When friend Liz Taylor was distraught over the death of husband Mike Todd, Fisher consoled Liz and got in way over his dickhead. Debbie found out, and Fisher boldly demanded a divorce. He married Liz who was soon jumping into bed with Richard Burton. A cuckolded Eddie Fisher was no longer anyone's idea of a sexy, desirable star. He was just a schmuck.

A change in musical styles rendered Fisher several notches below the mediocre level of a Vic Damone, who at least could snap his fingers on "The Ed Sullivan Show" and amuse some middle-aged women. Eddie toiled in nightclubs, re-surfaced as a "whatever became of…" and eventually wrote a raunchy tell-all that was a dirty sheeted laundry list of every likely (Angie Dickinson) and unlikely (Bette Davis) woman he'd encountered. An appalled Carrie Fisher commented: "That's it. I'm having my DNA fumigated."

The saddest thing about Fisher's death is the dumbed-down way it was handled in the press. People over 40 know who he is. Articles need not be slanted so that the stupidest reader gets it. What happens when Paul McCartney leaves us? Should we expect the headline: "Pioneer of "Bieber Hair" Dies"? Will Steve and Eydie get: "They were your Grandma's version of Donny and Marie"? Why do famous people have to be made relevant to teenagers? Articles on politics, war, nutrition or sports aren't slanted so a tween can enjoy them, so "Princess Leia's Father Dies" is just plain wrong. Newspaper and website obits that are supposed to be on the record, and a source authority, shouldn't be slanted as if they were issues of 16 or Tiger Beat.

PS, nobody bothered to question just how Eddie Fisher died from "complications" involving hip surgery. Rather than dredge up a long-dead scandal (Debbie Reynolds and Liz Taylor made up and became very friendly), how about alerting people to the potential dangers of a procedure that seems more and more popular among older people?

Shakespeare said the evil that men do lives after them, and the good is often in turds with their bones. Something like that. And so we forget, for example, that Eddie Fisher was good for the Jews. At a time when the record buying public was grabbing Sinatra, Damone, Como, Frankie Laine, Dino, Julius LaRosa, and the other Italians, Eddie Fisher became the first certifiable Jewish heart-throb in pop music. (Al Jolson and Eddie Cantor were throbs in a different way…pains in the butt). Eddie Fisher was halfway responsible for giving us Carrie Fisher. And in his day, Eddie Fisher was a good entertainer with a lot of Top Ten hits that people back then enjoyed tremendously. So good for him.

The download choice? Well, Eddie scored a Top Ten in 1955 with "Dungaree Doll," which was one of those early attempts (Pat Boone would become adept at this) to gently move from "big band" to the new style of "rock and roll." "Dungaree Doll" is almost a hybrid of MOR and rock, and there was a lot of it about (let's not forget those middle-aged singers who backed up many an Elvis song). The arrangement is stilted and Eddie's delivery is stiff, but give him credit for this commercial (and successful) attempt at singing for the Dobie Gillis crowd…the people slowly coming out of the deep freeze and the Cold War and warming up to the new beat, and the move from hep to hip.

DUNGAREE DOLL by EDDIE FISHER Instant listen on line or download. No pop-ups, porn-ads or "wait time" from weasels who want you to pay them for faster downloads on items they don't own any rights to download.

SALUTING RONNIE BARKER - BILLY PRATT'S BANANAS

2010-09-19T08:37:00.000-07:00

We're coming up to a few key dates in the life and death of Ronnie Barker, OBE. There's his birthday (September 25, 1929) and his death day (October 3rd 2005).

Adept at all varieties of verbal comedy (from monologues, limericks and Spoonerisms to such obvious devices as wacky accents and even stuttering), Ronnie Barker was beloved from his supporting bits ("The Frost Report" in 1966) to his solo shows ("Ronnie Barker Playhouse" and "Hark at Barker" in the late 60's) to his near two decades as half of "The Two Ronnies." During the run of "The Two Ronnies" he also starred in two classic sitcoms with a supporting cast, "Porridge" and "Open All Hours." Barker was also not given quite enough credit as a master of visual humor, with a great range of characters to his credit, even if his stocky frame did not lead him to the frantic acrobatics one expects of a "physical" comedian. "Futtocks End" anyone? (A silent comedy he made in 1970!)

As one might expect, Ronnie Barker was more than willing to step behind a microphone in a sound studio and join the illustrious ranks of Spike Milligan, Marty Feldman and Kenneth Williams in singing odd songs. Your download offers two odd numbers on one mp3 file, the eccentric and upbeat "Billy Pratt's Bananas" and the wry and sly "Not Round Here."

Two songs by the one RONNIE BARKER Instant download or listen on line. No pop-unders, porn ads, or premium account sale attempts from pimp-like file hosting "services."

FRANCES FARMER - THE MEN THEY COULDN'T HANG

2010-09-19T08:35:00.000-07:00

If she was still alive, what horrors she could tell. Or could she? The rapes and cruelty she endured in a "hospital" that was supposed to treat her…would have truly haunted her in the years she had left if she hadn't been strapped down and repeatedly given shock therapy. Then she was allowed to get on with her life. Which was hardly a life at all. But it was no longer rebellious, no longer asking questions and forcing answers, or challenging the status quo. Almost not worth living at all…and she died when she was only 56.

Frances Farmer was born on September 19, 1913.

Her first iconoclastic act was winning $100 from Scholastic Magazine. She entered their writing contest and won for an essay called "God Dies." For once, she was encouraged in her brilliant thinking and her challenging ideas. A few years later, a student at the University of Washington, she won a contest run by The Voice of Action and was rewarded with a trip to Russia. The whispers about Frances grew louder; this beautiful drama student and pianist…was dabbling in Atheism and had enjoyed her visit to a Commie country.

The brilliant girl was signed to a film contract at the age of 22, and instantly found herself winning popular praise co-starring opposite Bing Crosby in "Rhythm on the Range," and critical acclaim for her exciting work in the Edna Ferber drama "Come and Get It." Like Bette Davis, Frances Farmer was not a fan of the "studio system" that owned its actresses and dictated what they did. It was a bit Communistic, wasn't it? The outspoken actress sounded ungrateful and restless in her yearnings to choose her roles and grow as an actress. She took stage roles when she could get away from Paramount, and it included appearing in "Golden Boy" by Clifford Odets. She had an affair with him, expecting marriage, but he walked out on her instead. It seemed that few shared Farmer's ideals, artistry or morality. When she became a big star, he even had the nerve to try and get her to star in his new 1941 play "Clash."

It was on October 19, 1942 that the increasingly alcoholic actress, at the end of a failed marriage, was caught driving with her headlights on in a "blackout" zone. Today, a Lindsay Lohan or Paris Hilton would parlay that into a contract with a perfume company or a million dollar movie deal. Farmer was jailed overnight for the minor offense, and pursued by the police when she failed to pay all of her fine. After a series of increasingly bitter battles with the law, she was literally hauled away to jail, crying "Have you ever had a broken heart?"

She ended up in a sanitarium, first given insulin shock therapy. Later, in the protective custody of her mother, she was sent to a more radical madhouse where she was given stronger electric shock therapy. Released, she tried to find peace with an ordinary, normal family but was carted back to her mother, who soon committed her to Western State Hospital, where gang-rape, torture and humiliation was practiced by her supposedly sane captors. Finally released, Frances Farmer had been scared and scarred into leading a numb, "normal" life out of show business. She took a dronish job as a bookkeeper and for seven years, lived quietly until she was rediscovered in 1957 by an enterprising writer who parlayed an article about her in "Modern Screen" into an appearance on "This is Your Life," and some minor TV work, including hosting a local show called "Frances Farmer Presents" through 1964. She even attempted a return to the stage in 1965, but the strain was too much for her, and she was arrested for drunken driving twice, losing her drivers license. After that, she returned to obscurity and died of cancer five years later.

In her ghost-written autobiography, there was no mention of a lobotomy performed on her. Her captors at Western State Hospital had records of hundreds of lobotomy patients but Farmer's name was not on the list and her father had refused consent for such a procedure. No nurse or doctor, even ones who could confirm some of the abuses she did suffer, recalled her being lobotomized. In suing Mel Brooks' film company for using incidences from his biography of Frances, author William Arnold declared that the screenwriter had to have read his book "Shadowland" because it was the only work that mentioned she'd had a lobotomy. And he admitted that he had "fictionalized" this, and several other things in the book to make it more dramatic.

Dramatic is the word for Steven Cush's angry, anthemic "Lobotomy Brings 'em Home" which appears on "Silvertown," from his group The Men They Couldn't Hang. The group name is much better than The Men Who Aren't Hung. Like Russell Crowe, who can look and act very American, the guys at first glance might seem like some angry, punkish variation on The Band to any Yank picking up the obscure album in a dollar bin (as this Yank did long ago). Their group name certainly has the connotation of the Old West, if you forget that the hangman was a figure quite popular in England before there was an Old West. Though Steven Cush, influenced by the movie "Frances" wrote about this American star, much of his material and that of his bandmates is very much on British themes, and the band back in the 80's was comprised of "a Welshman, 3 Scots and a Yorkie."

While the lobotomy of Frances Farmer is probably not the truth, there's much truth in this snarling, well-intentioned song, and about the dubious use of therapeutic butchery, which happened to any of any of a hundred of her fellow patients. The song is still a decent homage to Farmer and a vivid warning of what still happens when any powerful system (which is what Hollywood was and is) can dictate lives. And while lobotomy may no longer be popular, many modern drugs for the mentally ill and experiments on them are just as bad.

The movie "Frances" and the life of Frances Farmer influenced another, quite different figure in the music world. Born in Canada, and the foremost superstar in France for well over a decade, the former Mylene Gautier changed her last name to the American "Farmer," as a lasting tribute to this talented, and literally tortured star, born today, September 19th. And a belated happy birthday to Mylene Farmer, born September 12, 1961, whom this blog salutes as the most intelligent, compelling and beautiful woman making music in our generation.
LOBOTOMY BRINGS 'EM HOME

PANCHO THE PARROT "I Left My Heart in San Francisco-Bali Hai"

2010-09-19T08:33:00.000-07:00

One of the memorable moments on "The Tonight Show" was when Pancho the Parrot came through, and sang a few bars of "I Left My Heart in San Francisco." Up till then, most talking birds just sat and did nothing. Or barely said "Hello." At best, a mynah bird announced "My name is Howard." (The famous clip was on YouTube, but has been blocked via DMCA from Carson Productions, since they sell it on various "Tonight Show" compilation DVD's and don't appreciate the "if you like it, buy it" mentality.)

So delightful was Pancho on that September 16th, 1981 broadcast, that somebody decided to try and get him to actually record "I Left My Heart in San Francisco." Which was hard to do for a bird-brain who could only cover the song's first 15 words. However, Pancho also knew a little bit of "Springtime in the Rockies" and "Bali Hai," and the result? The medley you are about to download, augmented by generic Mitch Miller orchestration and a somewhat fun-dampening bunch of middle-aged choristers.

Pancho is a double yellow-headed Amazon parrot (which means that his entire head is yellow, not just the "forehead"). Back then, the bird's chief rival was Lolita, a mere yellow-naped Amazon parrot (just a spot of yellow on the back of her head). She could sing a bit, and could bark or meow, but her main charm was a girlish laugh she picked up from her original owners who had a kid around the house.

Owners of amusing birds such as Pancho know it's important to treat them well, and that doesn't simply mean adequate food and water. The trade-off for a parrot or even a budgie subjected to captivity, isolation from its own kind, or clipped wings, should be minimum time confined in its cage and a maximum of love and attention. Do you know why a caged bird sings? It could be that it's gone nuts, a winged creature who can fly for miles finding itself confined in a cage where it can only walk sideways for a few inches in either direction. People think this isn't cruel? If they do, they left their hearts in some place other than San Francisco, and their brains as well. Pancho at least still sings his three tunes out in the open at a theme park, and isn't confined the rest of the time in a confining small cage that for us, would be as degrading and claustrophobic as a toilet stall.

PANCHO THE PARROT "I Left My Heart in San Francisco" Instant download or listen on line. No pop-unders, porn ads, or premium account sale attempts from pimp-like file hosting "services."

DAVID McCALLUM - MY CAROUSEL

2010-09-09T08:54:00.000-07:00

You remember those 60's hippie movies? A climactic scene usually had the hero exhorting everyone to get real, lose their hang-ups, and LIVE! Sometimes the hero would simply go raving off into the horizon shouting about starting his search and being gloriously unsure of where he was going, since the scriptwriter was stuck with an ending.

David McCallum didn't quite get his chance to star in one of those "Lord Love a Duck and Morgan and Alice B. Toklas at Zabriskie Point with Heironymous Merkin" movies. He was stuck being the low-key tight-lipped Ilya Kuryakin on "The Man from U.N.C.L.E." In that role, he had to keep his cool, but on this single he got a chance to let loose and go wonderfully bonkers. On "My Carousel," shouting lines in one long crazy monologue, you might think he's become a mad Napoleon, solo.

DAVID McCALLUM - MY CAROUSEL

"HAY!" E.L.O. CELLIST Mike Edwards BALES OUT AT AGE 62

2010-09-09T08:52:00.000-07:00

Thanks to a bouncing bale of hay weighing some 1300 pounds (94 stone or about 600 kilograms), a band member on the first four E.L.O. albums has achieved immortality. Had the general public heard of cellist Mike Edwards before? No, but his death made the news and he's now near the top of anyone's list of strange ways of dying. "Turn to Stone?" Not exactly. More like "Hay...Can't Get it Out Of My Head."

It was bright sunlight, 12:30pm, when Edwards drove in his van towards Kingsbridge, hardly expecting a Monty Python ending. But this was the last straw; due to some farmer's neglect, a bale got loose, rolled down toward the road, took a final bounce off a hedge, went high in the air, and landed on Mike. He was so unknown at the time of his demise, that local authorities weren't sure how to find his nearest of kin, or whether he'd been married. They certainly didn't know he had been in E.L.O., and at the accident scene he probably looked like he was in The Strawbs.

Fans of the band were quick to remember and praise the quirky cellist, who was the clown prince of the Electric Light Orchestra, an eccentric little man who favored odd costumes, and stunts. One of his best remembered bits (which unfortunately doesn't appear to have been filmed) was his "exploding cello" routine, after running a grapefruit over the strings of his cello and doing other eccentric miming. It was a highlight of the band's act when they toured in support of "Eldorado," Mike's final album with the group. After four albums and this tour (which included a splashy appearance at Avery Fisher Hall in New York on November 8th, 1974, and went round the world through the first months of 1975), Edwards changed his name to Deva Pramada, adopted a Buddhist lifestyle, and went on to the obscure life of a cello teacher in rural England…until a meaningless God shouted "Hay" and lofted a practical joke at him leaving the zen practitioner in a deaditative state.

He does leave behind great musical memories, many students who are cello masters thanks to his teachings, work on four E.L.O. albums, and fodder for a lot of bad jokes. The news of his passing raised questions about the meaning of life and why it can end in so many unpredictable, and sometimes both horrifying and hay-larious ways.

Below: Mike's impressive cello solo from the "Eldorado" tour, and a complete set from E.L.O. done at Civic Hall, Guildford.

Edwards' "Cello Solo" from the Providence, Rhode Island ELO show, December 7, 1974. Remember Pearl Harbor Instant download or listen on line.
Mike Edwards and E.L.O. at Civic Hall, Guildford, U.K. May 7th 1972 Rapidly downloadable 50 minute set. Includes: 1. Overture, 2. Queen Of The Hours, 3. From The Sun To The World, 4. First Movement, 5. Dear Elaine, 6. Great Balls Of Fire, 7. In Old England Town

DEBRA ROMER sings BOB DYLAN America's Got Talent

2010-09-09T08:11:00.000-07:00

To be fair, the 5th season of "America's Got Talent" offered no hillbillies or drag queens, was mercifully low on gutter dance troupes, and didn't have too many idiot mimes pretending to be robots. There were only a few loathsome kids aping rap or hip hop dancing, an almost tolerable level of talentless cutie-pie 20-somethings with Bieber hair, and just enough nut-cases and "edgy" performance artists to keep the show interesting and the judges fighting with each other.

Among the singers, the standouts turned out to be a freakish little girl who sings opera (a "trick" that became tiresome the more it was repeated), the plucky sisters Christina and Ali with their all-American charm and sad back story of cystic fibrosis with its promise of physical degeneration and early death, and the latest Springsteen wanna-be, Michael Grimm.

One singer who just missed the Top Ten was Debra Romer, an ex-waitress with that Jane Fonda combination of sexy vulnerability and flinty toughness. Not that she looks like Jane Fonda or wants to be. Thanks to the show's effective production values, she emerged, backlit, dyed-hair shining, a visual star. If you didn't see her perform Bob Dylan's song, and just hear the download below, the effect isn't quite so dramatic.

As you'll hear, her voice is both limited and limitless…at times in this performance she seems like an amateur, and at other times, she hits the notes she needs. Like Dylan himself, what she does takes some getting used to, and at times she sounds like she's wandering into the territory of plain-singing Iris DeMent or trying the over-emote route of Sinead O'Connor. Debra's stated influence is gaspy Canadian Sarah McLachlan, she of the romantic yodel and the patina of pity and melancholia. Nice of this Goddess of Gloom to choose Dylan's "Make Me Feel My Love," and try and own it despite female cover versions from Kelly Clarkson, Adele, and Trisha Yearwood.

The great thing about "America's Got Talent" is that it really can boost the career of anyone who makes it past the first few rounds. At least for a few months. By the time Romer was in the semi-finals, the 7 songs on the CD-R she sold at her gigs were available on iTunes. She now has a professional-looking website (debraromer.com) and on it announced that she'd gotten 500 new copies of her CD professionally pressed and ready for purchase. Before she made it to the semi-finals, her CD was $10 and no extra charge if a fan wanted it autographed. Now, the CD is still $10 but an autographed version is $15. Smart cookie. If she ever gets beyond local gigs at which she sells her indie CDs, it will be a bit of a surprise.

I checked out her iTune songs and they're very much in McLachlan mode, only lacking Sarah's truly exceptional voice (as well as production values of course). Put it this way, Debra Romer is to Sarah McLachlan what Kim Basinger is to Brigitte Bardot. Basinger found fame and fortune via her vulnerability and anemic good looks rather than trying to copy the style of a more popular blonde with undeniably sexier lips and a better body. So I hope that Romer will move past being a second-tier McLachlan and fully gain control of the unusual breathy style and phrasing she used on the Bob Dylan cover.

Below, you get a sample from her CD, "Stay With Me" (which she also offers free via a website link, so this is not a well-intentioned theft here) and her version of the Dylan song complete with some of the judges' reactions, with Piers Morgan of course being the most on-target.

DEBRA ROMER BOB DYLAN: MAKE YOU FEEL MY LOVE
DEBRA ROMER STAY WITH ME
No pop-unders, wait time, or demands to pay $9.99 a month to Oron, Depositfiles, Filesonic, etc.

Let's Burn Down the Cornfield - Alex Taylor, The Seatsniffers

2010-09-09T07:53:00.000-07:00

On September 7th, a bunch of superstitious natives in Belize burned down the animal sanctuary built by two Americans. Why? As CNN's Arthur Brice reported, "the indigenous Maya villagers were acting on the advice of a psychic," who spread the gossip that the Americans "had fed two missing children to the 17 crocodiles at the sanctuary."

"We're in shock. We're totally devastated," said Cherie Rose, 44 years old, a woman with a biology degree and a passionate interest in preserving wildlife. Her husband Vince, 48, said "What we created was absolutely beautiful," and hopes to remain in the country and rebuild the sanctuary. As if the natives who torched it would suddenly get enough education and civility to leave it alone?

Sorry, Vince, but it's not your country. It's theirs…and they'll always find a reason to resent the White Man who comes in to bring them into the 21st Century, and find some reason to view the intrusion as nothing but evil. And they'd rather remain cannibals, Druids, female circumcisionists, rapists, murderers and most certainly ritual animal killers. Sorry Vince, it's perilous bringing civilization, knowledge and sanity to people who'd rather believe in the God of violence and intolerance.

All over the world, the clock is ticking backward as if this isn't the 21st Century. In the Middle East, they still believe in stoning women to death. The Far East is filled with barking mad maniacs who eat the brains out of living animals and don't care if they destroy the last rhino or whale. Africa is well known for regions that are totally lawless, and just to add new atrocities, reports arrived a few months ago of albino Africans being killed or mutilated because of superstitions about their skin color.

Take a look at any major city in the United States, England or France. Vince, it's enough of a battle right now to keep the savages from invading civilization and bringing with them their violence or their insane lifestyles of filth and selfishness. Killing animals? Authorities look the other way and shrug that killing goats (or most any other animal) is just part of some immigrant's religion and nobody can interfere. If you and your wife were home at the time of the fire, you would've been killed with a blow gun, or beaten to death, or simply thrown on top of the pyre that was once your animal sanctuary.

Mr. and Mrs. Rose were trying to maintain wildlife and the broken planet's ecosystem. Had they represented a big corporation willing to buy land to strip-mine it of minerals or chop down trees, and offered ten cents to every native, the natives would've been cheering, and more than willing to grind up a few of their children for hamburger meat and serve it when the contracts were signed.

The natives burned down the animal sanctuary because of superstition. Well, some 38 years ago, Randy Newman wrote a song called "Let's Burn Down the Cornfield," which if you read between the sparse lines, is a meditation on the kind of selfish, stupid "humans" who place their sadistic pleasures above all else. Pyromania is, after all, pretty sexy. Or don't you remember the lyrics:

"Let's burn down the cornfield, let's burn down the cornfield. And we can listen to it burn…oh it's so good, on a cold night, to have a fire burnin' warm and bright…let's burn down the cornfield. Let's burn down the cornfield. And I'll make love to you while it's burning."

You get both a moody and uptempo version.

Alex Taylor, oldest brother of James and Livingston, recorded Newman's song on his prime 1972 album "Dinnertime." Taylor's career stalled shortly after, but he still had a desire to make music. 21 years after his shot at stardom (at a time when every Taylor sibling seemed to be making records) Alex went back into the studio to try again. By then, he was well known to have a drinking problem, and after a bit too much vodka at the recording studio, Alex suffered a heart attack, lingered unconscious for nearly a week, only to die on brother James' 45th birthday, March 12, 1993.

The rockabilly version, betraying the cheerful villainy one associates with Southern empty-skulls, is actually the work of a Belgian group. The Seatsniffers, with Walter Broes on lead vocals and the De Houwer brothers (Dirk and Piet) on bass and drums, arrived on the scene in 1997, making albums and opening for Euro-traveling 50's faves such as Bo Diddley, Little Richard and Buddy Guy. The band's name made them especially popular in Holland, where a lot of guys get off on sneaky ways of self-pleasure. The band did manage to play a "Rockabilly Rave" in England. "Let's Burn Down the Cornfield" was released in 2004 via the Dutch label Sonic Rendez-Vous.

LET'S BURN DOWN THE CORNFIELD - ALEX TAYLOR
LET'S BURN DOWN THE CORNFIELD - THE SEATSNIFFERS

LEE MARVIN (and COUNT BASIE AND BUDDY MORROW) M-SQUAD

2010-08-29T09:21:00.001-07:00

"I woke up early the day I died…" might've been a hard-boiled line from Lee Marvin on August 29th. It's actually a line from notorious novelist and director Edward D. Wood Jr., but this isn't the anniversary of Wood's death, it's Marvin's. Lee died on this date, August 29, 1987. Illfolks also takes this opportunity to remember the birthday of Count Basie (born August 21, 1904).

A snub-nosed ex-Marine who earned a Purple Heart after being shot in the back, Lee Marvin was working as a plumber when he subbed for an actor who was drained during rehearsals. Lee found acting a lot easier than plumbing, and began to get some small roles in off-Broadway shows. Marvin moved to Hollywood in 1950, getting a few small but meaty roles in "Wild One." "Caine Mutiny" and "Bad Day at Black Rock." Enthused Bosley Crowther of the New York Times: "''He is rapidly becoming the No. 1 sadist of the screen.''

Cynics would say a hero is just a villain who channeled his malice in the right direction, and Lee proved it by using his tough guy attitude on the hard-boiled TV cop show "M-Squad" (1957-1960). The theme song by Count Basie was as much a part of the show's success as the iconic few notes of "Dragnet," the prowling Henry Mancini theme for "Peter Gunn," or the peppery spray of drums and guitars that began every episode of "Hawaii-5-0."

Lee Marvin went on to balance nasty and tough film roles ("The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance" and "The Dirty Dozen") and won an Academy Award for the dual-role of mean villain and drunken hero in "Cat Ballou." He even managed to get himself a hit single in England when "Paint Your Wagon" arrived in 1969 and his rendition of "Wandrin' Star" was released. Lee found some unwanted off-screen fame when long-time girlfriend Michelle Triola sued him for "palimony." She wanted half of Marvin's millions, but was bumped down to $104,000. Two years later, an appeals court reversed the award, leaving Michelle with nothing but infamy. Lee Marvin looked back on the unpleasantry and growled, "Everyone was lying. Even I lied."

The gutsy actor suffered inflammation of the colon, no surprise considering all his aggravation and his advancing years. He continued to work, and made "Delta Force" in 1986, the same year he underwent intestinal surgery. The following year he died of a heart attack. He was only 63. The patriotic actor is buried at Arlington National Cemetery.

And so it is, that our tribute to Lee Marvin is a selection of various renditions of "M-Squad." You get five of 'em. It's interesting how these different jazz artists, including Mundell Lowe, Buddy Morrow, Stanley Wilson and Ralph Marterie handle the assignment with different brands of swing and malice. One of the best is Buddy Morrow's take, from the fantastic Living Stereo album of TV themes, "Impact." PLUS, the bonus of the theme from "Police Squad," which borrowed from the venerable Count Basie theme to create the (im)proper mood of comedy for comical cop Leslie Nielsen.

A bunch of M-SQUAD renditions. And "Police Squad" thrown in.

‪LIU WEI‬ plays Richard Clayderman - with no hands

2010-08-29T09:19:00.000-07:00

With America's Got Talent slowly sinking toward its finale, and Australia's Got Talent and Britain's Got Talent already crowning talentless winners, the newly created China's Got Talent has begun its run. The first contestant to become an International sensation is not an ugly fat lady, chubby ventriloquist or quasi-operatic tenor. It's Liu Wei, who simply plays the piano with his feet.

Liu Wei played Richard Clayderman's "Mariage d'Amour" and when it was done, the armless pianist saw the entire audience standing and clapping their hands. One of the three judges brushed away a tear.

During a childhood game of "hide and go seek," Liu Wei accidentally electrocuted himself, and doctors could not save his burnt hands and arms. Rendered an amputee, he learned quickly that sobbing about his fate, looking for nice comments ;) and calling attention to himself via begging for donations were disgraces. He chose hard work and an honest life instead. He chose to honor music and his self-respect. At the age of 19, he decided to learn how to play the piano.

Some of us have mild toe dexterity, but to stir those primitive nerves, and to make those toes function in any way close to fingers, took not only practice, but the tenacity to overcome a tremendous amount of physical pain. He worked so hard that within 4 years, he could appear on a national TV show this summer, mastering a light classic piano piece. What will Liu Wei do to dazzle judges in the second round? "Louie Louie?" Below, his slow, charming version of Clayderman's piece, as well as Clayderman performing it.

Liu Wei version

Richard Clayderman version Instant download or listen on line.

Nadja Benaissa INFECTS DICKS; GETS SLAP ON WRIST

2010-08-29T09:18:00.000-07:00

Below, a download of "Disappear," a song by Nadja Benaissa and her band "No Angels," which represented Germany at the 2008 Eurovision song contest. The votes came in, and the girls finished dead last.

Speaking of dead, HIV is not something that will "Disappear," and when it comes to unprotected sex, Nadja's sent a message to the world that the odds are not always going to be with you.

I know someone living with HIV…and it's a she, not a he. Too many women think they can't get HIV because they don't share some moron's needles, or don't engage in high-risk activity (such as anal sex, where abrasions are most likely to allow infected semen into the bloodstream). Well, the woman I know has had her life turned upside down and while she's survived for over a decade now, it's been a financial hardship, the drugs she takes have side effects, and unlike Nadja Bernaissa, she always disclosed her condition which effectively stopped a lot of budding romances. Nadja never disclosed her condition, and worse, accepted the logical (but wrong) advice that sex with her was not dangerous since it was almost impossible for a male to get her infection into his bloodstream. Almost.

A year ago, Nadja Benaissa was arrested at a disco in Frankfurt just before she was about to perform. She was told that at least one of her sex partners had developed HIV. Finally the verdict is in: a two-year suspended sentence.

It's a slap on the wrist, but if she was sent to prison for a few years…would that be headline news over and above what she's already gotten in the press? Would it serve as a precedent or a deterrent? Hard to say. There's also Nadja herself…she's not a "bad" person. She and her "No Angels" have feelings. They posed nude (from the back) for German magazine ads on behalf of PETA, the courageous animal rights organization. She expressed remorse for her stupidity, and called herself "cowardly" for hiding her HIV condition from her partners and the media.

In happier times, No Angels had four #1 hits in Germany before their novelty wore off and they broke up in 2003. They re-united in 2007 (moving from five girls down to four) and hoped to stage a comeback with "Disappear." Chances are that No Angels will simply go away. HIV will not. HIV and AIDS infection can happen by accident as much as through human foolishness or ignorance. If anything positive has come out of the HIV positive story of Nadja Benaissa, it's the increased awareness that women can indeed pass along HIV to males. There is no cure for "stupid," but correcting "ignorance" is another matter. Live and learn.

NO ANGELS: DISAPPEAR Instant download or listen on line. No wait time or pop-under pestiness.

GEORGE DAVID WEISS Sleeps Tonight. Hits for Elvis Presley, Louis Armstrong

2010-08-29T09:16:00.000-07:00

In the graveyard, the mighty graveyard, a songwriter sleeps tonight.

Unless he was cremated.

George David Weiss had a hand in some of the most infamous songs of all time: the syrupy "Can't Help Falling In Love" (poured by sweaty Elvis Presley), the obnoxiously cheerful "What a Wonderful World" (as vomited by Louis Armstrong), and the musical lawsuit "The Lion Sleeps Tonight," yodeled by The Tokens.

Weiss was more versatile than that collection would have you believe. He wrote for Broadway. He composed movie soundtracks. His songs were covered by a very wide range of artists from Patti Page to Van McCoy and from Kay Starr to The Royal Guardsmen. He and the team of Luigi Creatore and Hugo Peretti (who worked with him on "The Lion Sleeps Tonight") wrote all the songs for the debut album by The Stylistics. Ask the guy to add lyrics to soul music or classical music, or to knock out music for a gangster movie or a teen beach flick…and George could do it!

In other words, George Weiss was one of a dying breed, literally; the professional songwriter...the guy who uses inspiration or perspiration to write or hack out a tune in most any genre required…and live by his wits and live off his royalties.

Here's part of the reason he ended up in the Songwriters Hall of Fame:

ACAPULCO ADIOS, ALL NIGHT LONG, ALL THAT IS LEFT IS THE LEMON, AND SHE’LL ALWAYS LOVE YOU, AS LONG AS THERE’S A MOTHER, BANANAS, BARCAROLLE OF LOVE, BIG BOAT, BIRD FLIES OUT OF SIGHT, BROOKLYN DODGERS, CAN ANYONE EXPLAIN, CAN’T HELP FALLING IN LOVE, CARNIVAL, CASANOVA CAT. COPS AND ROBBERS, CROSS OVER THE BRIDGE, DANNY THE DRAGON, DON’T CALL MY NAME, DON’T LAUGH AT ME, DON’T WAKE ME UP ‘CAUSE I MIGHT BE DREAMING, DREAM WORLD, ECHOES, EIGHT DAYS OF CHANUKAH, ETHEL BABY…
….EVERY ROAD MUST HAVE A TURNING POINT, FIND HIM FAST, FIVE DAUGHTERS, FOOL OF THE YEAR, FORTUNE TELLING CARDS, FROM THE MOUNTAIN, FUN AND FANCY FREE, FUNKY WEEKEND, GATSBY, GAY BOUQUET, GENTLEMEN DON’T FALL WILLINGLY, GHETTO STAR, GIDGET'S ROMAN MOON, GIVE ME BACK MY LIFE, GOODBYE, MY LOVE, GOODBYE, HAUNTED HOUSE BLUES, HAVE YOU HEARD THE NEWS, HE’S TALL IN THE SADDLE, HELLO HEARTACHE, GOODBYE LOVE, HEY GIRL COME AND GET IT, HIS FATHER WORE LONG HAIR, HORN WITH TWO MOUTHPIECES, HOW ABOUT A BALL, HOW DOES IT FEEL?, HOW IMPORTANT CAN IT BE, HOW NEAR TO MY HEART….
...I CAN’T GET UP THE NERVE TO KISS YOU, I DON’T SEE ME IN YOUR EYES ANYMORE, I FEEL SORRY FOR THE GIRL, I GOT TIME ON MY HANDS, I MAY HATE MYSELF IN THE MORNING, I SUDDENLY FIND YOU AGREEABLE, I TAKE IT OUT ON YOU, I THINK ABOUT YOU, I WISH I WERE A PRINCESS, I WON’T LET IT HAPPEN AGAIN, I’D RATHER BE HURT BY YOU, I’LL KEEP THE LOVELIGHT BURNING IN MY HEART, I’M HIP, I’M KNOWN, I’M ME, I’M NOT FREE, IN DE BANANA TREE, IT HURTS ME MORE THAN YOU, JACQUES D IRAQUE, JAMBO AFRICA, JEALOUS JUDY, JOHN KENNEDY MEMORY WALTZ, JOHNNY FREEDOM, JUST FOR LAUGHS...
...LA DEE DA SONG, LAZY LULLABY, LET ME CRY ON YOUR SHOULDER, LET’S FETCH THE CARRIAGE, LITTLE OLD NEW YORK, MAGGIE FLYNN, MANDOLINS IN THE MOONLIGHT, MICHAEL OR ME, MOMMY OUR DELIGHT, MORE AND MORE OF YOUR AMOUR, MR. CLOWN, MR. JONES OF WALL STREET, MR. WONDERFUL, MURDER, INC., NA NA IS THE SADDEST WORD, NICE COLD MORNING, NIGHT WAS MADE FOR DREAMERS, NOBODY MET THE TRAIN
...ONE HEN, OUT OF BREATH, PEGGY DID, PITTER PATTER, POET AND THE PROPHET, QUARTER TO FIVE, QUE MUNDO MARAVILLOSO, RONNIE, ROUND THE WORLD RHUMBA, SATELLITE CITY, SAXOPHONE JONES, , SEND ME NO FLOWERS, SHE WANTED FURS, SINGIN’ A DOO DAH SONG, SIXTEEN BARS, SMILE, SMILE, SMILE, SNOOPY’S CHRISTMAS, STAN THE REQUEST MAN, STAR ON T.V. SHOW
...TALE OF CINDERELLA, TEARS AND SOUVENIRS, TEHERAN, THAT CERTAIN PARTY IN APT. 1, THAT SAME OLD FEELING, THAT SUNDAY, THAT SUMMER, THAT WAS MY HEART YOU HEARD, THERE GOES THE ONE I LOVE, THERE’S SOMETHING MISSING, THEY’RE NEVER GONNA MAKE ME, TIME ALONE WILL TELL, TOO MUCH HEARTACHE NOT ENOUGH LOVE, TOYS IN THE ATTIC, TREE OF LIFE, VIRGIN ISLANDS USA, WATER PRAYER, WHAT DO YOU THINK OF JOE, WHAT DOES HE THINK?, WHY AM I TO BLAME, WOE IS ME, YOU ALL DAT, YOU MAKE ME LAUGH, YOU’VE GOT AN AWFUL LOT TO LOSE

Good bad or indifferent, he wrote a ton of songs, and that's just a partial list of some of the more colorful titles. "Wheel of Fortune" and "I'll Never Be Free" were hits for Kay Starr. "Confess" and "Cross Over the Bridge" were recorded by Patti Page. "How Important Can It Be?" did well for Joni James. "Smile Smile Smile" was covered by Mike Douglas and also by Steve Lawrence & Eydie Gorme. "Surrender" was sung by Perry Como. Real 50's music buffs might be able to hum a few bars of "I Ran All the Way Home" (Sarah Vaughan), "Jet" (Nat "King" Cole) and "To Think You've Chosen Me" (Eddy Howard). George also wrote novelties and oddities, such as "'Snoopy's Christmas," covered by The Royal Guardsmen, and "His Father Wore Long Hair" by Louis Armstrong. The trendy "Disco Kid" was good for Van McCoy, while "And She'll Always Love You" was covered by impressionist Guy Marks…singing it as Gary Cooper!

George David Weiss (April 9, 1921 in New York City-August 24, 2010 in Oldwick, New Jersey) attended the Julliard School of Music and in the Big Band era began writing musical arrangements for Stan Kenton, Vincent Lopez and Johnny Richards. One of the first important songs he sold, with partner Benny Benjamin, was "Oh! What it Seemed to Be!" which was rejected by Perry Como, but snapped up by Frank Sinatra. Weiss wrote some of the lyrics while riding on the D train up to the Bronx: "''It was just a ride on a train/ That's all that it was/But oh! What it seemed to be!/It was a trip to the stars/to Venus and Mars/Because you were on the train with me.''

Sinatra liked the tune, which saved it from obscurity. The same thing happened with Elvis Presley, who rescued "Can't Help Falling In Love With You." Weiss, in reading the script for "Blue Hawaii," didn't feel inspired until he found a little scene where Elvis is supposed to buy a music box in a shop and hear a romantic melody. THAT, he decided, he could do. "I loved his tender voice," Weiss recalled. "''I thought I could write something sweet for Elvis' voice. I was hearing Elvis in the melody, but the lyrics just came. When I played the song for the publisher, he listened to it, and after a 10-second silence, he said, 'Well, George, it's nice, but we want 'Hound Dog' for Elvis.''' Fortunately Elvis overheard the song being played and loved it.

As for "What A Wonderful World," Weiss loved Louis Armstrong's version, believing that his hard-gravel voice gave the piece the slight touch of cynicism it needed. (Below you get Louis doing "His Father Wore Long Hair.") Weiss insisted that most cover versions of his wonderful song were far too cloying, and that the song wasn't a Pollyanna salute to how great the world is, but how great it "could" be. Bob Thiele wrote the music, and George was also the lyricist for a pair of other powerful melodies that somebody thought should have some words. He gave Cher, Joan Baez, Vikki Carr and hundreds of others a chance to sing Luiz Bonfa's melody "Carnival." And he gave Ella Fitzgerald and hundreds of others something to do besides scat-singing on George Shearing's classic "Lullaby of Birdland."

If you've got some old vinyl around on "Lullaby of Birdland," you might notice the song credited to George Shearing and a certain "B.Y. Forster." What's with blind pianists and weird co-credits, you ask? Back then, songwriters either published through BMI or through ASCAP. No fraternizing. Contractual obligations didn't disappear in the rock era; Capitol's John Lennon, had to become "Winston O'Boogie" to appear on record with RCA's Harry Nilsson. Weiss of ASCAP could not legally co-write with Shearing of BMI, so he literally put the song in his wife's name and let her collect the royalties…until some 25 years later, when he finally reached a settlement with BMI so he could get his name on this very famous song. Working with the famous title "Lullaby of Birdland" wasn't easy…and time hasn't been kind to the cliche lines about turtle doves, "a weepy old willow," crying on the pillow, "farewell and goodbye," and the cringeworthy "high in the sky up above we're in love."

Brief though it was, he was responsible for the lines "In the jungle, the mighty jungle, the lion sleeps tonight." Which is just about all you can sing in that song, besides a froggy croak of "Wimoweh." Before George stuck his finger into it, the folk song was nothing but "Wimoweh" as Pete Seeger mis-heard "Mbube." But for more on this tune, consult the previous Illfolks entry: http://illfolks.blogspot.com/2007/09/lion-sleeps-tonight-wimoweh-mbube.html

Aside from pop hits, Weiss managed to make it to Broadway several times, with a variety of partners. With Jerry Bock and Larry Holofcener, he wrote "Mr. Wonderful" (1956) starring Sammy Davis Jr. In 1959 with Robert Goldman and Glenn Paxton, he gave audiences "First Impressions," starring Hermione Gingold and Polly Bergen. In 1968 he joined his chums Hugo and Luigi for "Maggie Flynn" starring Shirley Jones and Jack Cassidy. Aside from Broadway, Weiss took movie assignments, and scored the music for "Murder, Inc" as well as lesser-known films "Gidget Goes to Rome," "Mediterranean Holiday" and "Mademoiselle." He was very busy and successful from approximately 1948 to 1968, but was still active for many decades after, turning out lyrics for R&B songs, and in 1994 premiering the musical "A Tale of Cinderella" co-written with Will Severin.

Below, you get a lucky 13 of George David Weiss co-writes. There are a half-dozen songs by The Stylistics (including "Can't Give You Anything But My Love and "I'd Rather Be Hurt By You Than Be Loved By Somebody Else). Also: "Snoopy's Christmas," "His Father Wore Long Hair," "Lullaby of Birdland," "Confess," "What a Wonderful World," "Mr. Wonderful," and "Cross Over the Bridge." Helping with this salute: The Royal Guardsmen, Peggy Lee, Patti Page, Katie Melua, Eva Cassidy, Louis Armstrong and Chris Connor.
Rapid Salute to George David Weiss

KENNY EDWARDS has died

2010-08-19T16:58:00.000-07:00

To paraphrase Spike Milligan..."I told you he was ill."

Kenny had been suffering from prostate cancer for the past few months, which sapped his strength and his savings, but it all got worse while he was in Colorado, visiting Karla Bonoff (Kenny was part of Karla's touring band).

He ended up in a Denver emergency room with TTP (thrombotic thrombocytopenic purpura) and the hope was that he could make it back home to Santa Barbara, for better or even for worse.

Hence, the Illfolks posting on August 12th.

It ended August 18th. From his manager, Leslie Merical, sent to his friends and fans: “Kenny passed peacefully at around 5:30 p.m. surrounded by love. Your words, thoughts, generosity, and kindness eased his transition. He was grateful for the love he was shown.”

Karla Bonoff, there at the end, was also there around the beginning: "Oh my gosh — we met in 1967 — I was an aspiring little teenage songwriter and he had been in the Stone Poneys. He was like a rock god. We met at a transcendental meditation lecture or something like that. I followed him around with my acoustic guitar, trying to prove to him that I knew what I was doing.”

The first of probably many tributes to Kenny Edwards will be held on Sunday (Aug 22) at 7 p.m. at Zoey's, 185 Santa Clara St., in Ventura.

Visit www.kennyedwards.com to sign the guest book and read more about Kenny Edwards.

And here's the FIVE song download from the out of print debut Bryndle album with Wendy, Karla and Andrew. These tracks all have the guys on lead vocals:

1. I Want to Touch You
2. Savannah
3. We Walked This Road
4. Streets of Your Town
5. The Wheel.

FIVE BRYNDLE SONGS...featuring Kenny Edwards

Brigitte Bardot vs Denmark's Sport of Dolphin Killing

2010-08-19T13:35:00.000-07:00

"Qu'il est vilain."

Translation? "That is ugly."

Years ago, Brigitte Bardot sang a happy tune by that title, which you'll hear in the download below. Now? Now she might use that phrase to describe the heartless and stupid "sport" of herding dolphins to shore where they are butchered to pieces. For fun. (Click the picture above and it will get bigger.)

Today, August 19th, Bardot sent a message to Queen Margrethe II of Denmark saying "This macabre spectacle is a shame for Denmark...This...mass slaughter...has no acceptable justification in today's world."

Christophe Marie, of the Fondation Brigitte Bardot, adds: "The dolphin killing was originally designed to provide people with food, but this is no longer the case." As you see by the picture above, there are no nets to gather food, just a bunch of bloodthirsty Danish idiots carving up defenseless animals and turning the water red.

A report on this, from www.citizen.co.za, quotes the rebuttal from Kate Sanderson, a foreign ministry official: "It's a proper hunt, like any other hunt, it is wild and it may appear inhuman. But people who protest against the fact that these mammals are being killed by knives have never been in an abattoir."

Infuriating, isn't it, when someone who pretends to be a human, can defend the "inhuman," and condone herding up defenseless animals as a "proper hunt," and defend butchery for fun with what goes on in an abattoir for food.

The dolphin species in this case, is mostly the pilot whale. As scientists have determined, and is reported on Bardot's website, most doctors warn against the consumption of pilot whales due to very high levels of mercury, pesticides and other pollutants. (It should also be mentioned that even the legitimate catching of the sea's large fish, such as tuna, is disturbing due to the toxins now in these fish, and the risk of species annihilation.)

Brigitte Bardot is one of the activists of the world, one of the sensitive ones, one of the people who give a damn and want to change things and make the world a better place. She uses what remains of her fame as a 1960's and 70's film star, to show a beautiful conscience and soul in the 21st century. Her legacy was once her songs and films, but is now most prominently includes Fondation Brigitte Bardot.

There is a rising sadism in this world, an unhealthy pride in doing wrong and in showing contempt and selfishness. Worse, are the ones who sit by the sidelines and let it happen...their shrugs and heavy-lidded blindness just as dismaying as the acts of criminality and cruelty that they allow. Many believe that nothing is lower than what is above Belgium...useless countries where decency, rights issues and conscience is stuck in a block of ice and hell has frozen over. Holland. Denmark. Sweden.

Queen Margrethe II will do nothing, and she will go down in history as just another alloy of uncaring and incompetence. Brigitte Bardot could've disappeared like Dietrich or Garbo, but she has too much compassion not to use her time and her fame in the best ways possible. Bardot speaks for the creatures who can't defend themselves. Kate Sanderson speaks for the true animals of the world...the men in Denmark who butcher dolphins for fun...and who salute Bloody Queen Margrethe II.

Thanks for reading this. Here is a happy 60's tune from Brigitte. Instant download or listen on line. No bloody wait time. No bloody pop-op ads.

To read more on Brigitte Bardot's work on behalf of our world's wildlife, visit www.fondationbrigittebardot.fr/

DENNY DOHERTY & THE HALIFAX THREE - - THE MAN WHO WOULDN'T SING ALONG WITH MITCH MILLER

2010-08-19T08:42:00.002-07:00

Mitch Miller, who died at age 99 (July 4, 1911 – July 31, 2010) was best known for his "follow the bouncing ball" TV series "Sing Along with Mitch" (1961-1964). A few years earlier, Mitch "and the gang" of middle-aged choristers were making albums that featured gatefolds and multiple sets of lyrics so everyone could gather around the speakers and bellow folk songs, pop hits and Christmas tunes.

Everybody liked to sing along with Mitch! Except… "The Man Who Wouldn't Sing Along with Mitch." The tune, a distant relative to the Kingston Trio's "M.T.A." and other jokey folk-novelties, creased the Top 100 as the only success for The Halifax Three. It was probably just as well that they broke up. It forced member Denny Doherty, to move on to bigger things. Like "The Mugwumps," then "The New Journeymen," then "The Magic Circle" which became "The Mamas and the Papas."

Before he became a TV personality, or had hit singles, Mitch Miller was a producer. He worked with a wide range of 50's MOR acts, matching up songs to artists and dictating the production values. Patti Page's "How Much is that Doggie in the Window," Jimmy Boyd's "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus," Rosemary Clooney's 'Come on-a My House" and Doris Day's "Que Sera" top most anyone's list of drivel, and are reasons why Miller's reputation is so poor today. Boyd grew up and Clooney salvaged her reputation via Nelson Riddle, but the double-edged sword for Patti and Doris is that they made a fortune with their Miller tales…but were never taken seriously as quality singers. And both were, especially Page, who could validly sing blues, jazz, standards, gospel, C&W and even rock. It's no surprise that critic Will Friedwald wrote: "Miller exemplified the worst in American pop. He first aroused the ire of intelligent listeners by trying to turn — and darn near succeeding in turning — great artists...into hacks. Miller chose the worst songs and put together the worst backings imaginable…"

There were a few exceptions. While Sinatra did indeed rebel against Mitch (who tossed Sinatra throw-aways to Guy Mitchell), Tony Bennett has to be glad that Mitch handed him his signature tune "Rags to Riches." Mitch worked beautifully in turning Frankie Laine into an unlikely Western balladeer ("Mule Train") and bombastic pop star ("Jezebel" and "I Believe"). Miller gave himself hearty hits, leading his band and his "gang" in singing "The Yellow Rose of Texas" in 1955, and a few years later "Colonel Bogey March" (the whistling theme for "Bridge On the River Kwai") and "The Children's Marching Song" (aka "This Old Man" or "Nick Nack Paddy Wack.") People liked this shit. This was the 50's. It wasn't as if Mitch Miller villainously brainwashed people into buying it.

Ultimately, history's verdict is that Miller produced a lot of corny junk that reflected the complacently lame 50's, but that at his best…whether with Tony Bennett on "Rags to Riches" or Frankie Laine on "Mule Train," he helped create pop music that is still memorable. Of course many of his productions are very, very hard to forget no matter how hard you try. In other words your mind can easily make you hear Patti Page's voice and Miller's production as you read these lines: "How much is that doggie in the window, the one with the waggly tail…"

THE MAN WHO WOULDN'T SING ALONG WITH MITCH…with Denny Doherty part of THE HALIFAX THREE

SING ALONG SING ALONG SING ALONG Dr. Marigold's Prescription

2010-08-19T08:42:00.001-07:00

Continuing the not-so-sincere tribute to Mitch Miller, here's "SING ALONG, SING ALONG, SING ALONG."

Dr. Marigold's Prescription was, as the name suggests, a vintage pop group (1969-1971 the peak years), and not such a trivial one (though you'd never know it from hearing this forcefully cheery novelty).

On this 1970 single lead vocalist Fred Radley's in Dr. John muppet mode, and Dr. Marigold's prescription happy-drugs have clearly kicked in. Fred offers up a quasi-Southern yet British-skiffle voice that will make you clap yo' hainz in spite o' yo'self and ya mott jus' seenga lawng. But on more serious material, he was more like Dr. Hook's Dennis Locorriere trying to be Barry Gibb. At least, if you judge the Brit by the title track of the Marble Arch album "Pictures of Life" (1969), or listen to his decent cover of Bob Dylan's "I Threw It All Away."

In other words, there's no reason to boo Radley, or his bandmates Alan and Bill French and drummer Dave Morris. (Only Radley remains active…the others are now retired). Their brand of medicine was fine for the times, and it doesn't hold up too badly these days, if you can locate the albums and singles. They had the chops back in the day to be backing Billy Fury and Madeline Bell among others, and get some tour action all over the world (they backed the Walker Brothers in America, and for some reason had a #1 hit single in South Africa). So…sing along, sing along, sing along.

SING ALONG WITH…DR. MARIGOLD'S PRESCRIPTION

THEY'RE HANGING OLD ZAB TONIGHT - STUART HAMBLEN

2010-08-19T08:41:00.001-07:00

Stuart Hamblen (October 20, 1908-March 8, 1989), was best loved for writing and singing religious songs, including "This Ole House." Born in Texas, where they loved to go walkin' the bass, young Stuart toured the South with his father, an itinerant preacher. Though he earned a college degree, the wanderlust remained. He kept up the life of a touring singer, till he settled in California where he starred on his own radio series "Cowboy Church of the Air" and began to make movies.

Hamblen was such an exponent of pure Americana that in 1952 he ran for President (on the Prohibition Party). A follower of Evangelist preacher Billy Graham, Hamblen favored gospel songs, and his sturdy, rather Disney-esque voice rang out on "The Old Rugged Cross" in 1954 as well as"When The Roll Is Called Up Yonder," and "In the Sweet By and By." He made enough money to buy Errol Flynn's home, which he eventually sold to Rick Nelson circa 1980, when the ole house full of Hamblens had become an emptier nest.

Aside from the religious material, Hamblen recorded cowboy lore, the poems of Robert Service, and tunes about such legends as the feuding Hatfields and McCoys, the subject of the download below. Shootin' a McCoy or a Hatfield? Well, some people need buckshot in their britches or a punch in the snoot, because it's better to knock off a lowdown blood sucker than end up with high blood pressure.

So here's the jolly ditty about the attempt to hang Ol' Zab Hatfield. It's got Stuart's thunderous delivery (the guy must've needed Brawny paper towels during his juicy times in front of a microphone) as well as a goofy bass vocalist of the Thurl Ravenscroft variety and a silly chorus crying "ooh, sadness…ooh sadness…" If you've got a soft spot in your head for Chill Wills, Eddy Arnold or the world of Li'l Abner, you just might find this item from Stu a squinty Dinty stew of all those and more.

Tryin' to Hang Ol' Zab - Stuart Hamblen

THE GREAT ABBEY LINCOLN (August 6, 1930 – August 14, 2010)

2010-08-19T08:39:00.000-07:00

She took her name from Westminster Abbey and Abraham Lincoln.

She gave the world Abbey Lincoln. I'm giving you "Throw It Away," and you can toss it or dig deeper into the songs and albums of an artist who truly deserves the word "great" in front of her name.

I base this on her music, though her life story of activism and integrity is one of greatness as well. But when you write the way Abbey Lincoln did, and sing the way she sang, you don't need a back story to be impressive. I mean, does it matter that much if Abbey Lincoln was raised Anna Wooldridge in Michigan, or Bob Dylan was raised Robert Zimmerman in Minnesota?

Just in case you don't feel like searching around for a bio or obit, here's a paragraph about Abbey, who died in NYC a few days ago (August 6, 1930 – August 14, 2010). With the help of her manager, the lyricist Bob Russell, Abbey first popped eyes with a number in Jayne Mansfield's "The Girl Can't Help It," and a sizzling solo disc, "Affair: Story of a Girl in Love," which had the requisite sexy album cover. Pretty quickly she walked away from being the black Julie London to tackling civil rights issues on tougher jazz releases ("We Insist!" with Max Roach). She also co-starred in Sidney Poitier movies, and did not record much in the 70's ("People in Me") or 80's ("Painted Lady"). She re-established herself as a formidable singer in jazz clubs and in 1990 made her comeback with "The World Is Falling Down," taking her place as a poetic, dignified, earthy, worldly singer of songs that were a fusion of be-bop, traditional jazz, and even Dylan. Jazz albums don't sell much and uncompromising artists such as Abbey Lincoln tend to dwell in nightclubs rather than get high profile TV variety or talk show spots. So she did what she did till her heart literally gave out. She underwent open-heart surgery in 2007.

In some ways Abbey Lincoln commanded respect for the wrong reasons. It's all too easy to be intimidated by her sheer survival, the way Alberta Hunter was lionized in old age. It's too easy to use that white writer's brand of reverse racism and admire her only because she stood up for civil rights, or sang the kind of jazz that you "need to be black to truly understand." Well, it's all in the music. First time I heard "Throw It Away," I was blown away. Maybe you will be, too. The song is mysteriously poetic, bitterly romantic and painfully optimistic.

Abbey's music here has a touch of pop-mystical (Nat "King" Cole's "Nature Boy" comes to mind) while the vocals have a touch of Billie Holiday. In the lyrics, Abbey taps soul truth ("You can never lose a thing if it belongs to you") so God bless the child that's got his own. There's also a very Dylanesque sense of contradiction, with "throw it away" linked to giving, while inner-rhyme draws the listener in deeper and imagery plays on perspective ("a hand to help us stand.") There's humility here ("I think about the life I live, a figure made of clay") and the tragic magic of answers only coming when you are ready to call for them ("…when I'm in a certain mood, I search the halls and nooks. One night I found these magic words in a magic book…") The name of the magic book, of course, Abbey does not reveal. Dylan wouldn't do that, either.

The version of "Throw it Away" below is the slower one (5:45) with dark strings and ghostly percussion, to be found on "A Turtle's Dream." There's also a slightly quicker (5:17) Astor Piazzolla-styled orchestration on "Abbey Sings Abbey," which has a younger, stronger vocal which some might find more positive than the older-but-wiser take. "Throw it away" is not a respectful thing to do to music, but on this occasion, giving a song in memory of a great artist seems the right thing to do.
throw it away - ABBEY LINCOLN

KENNY EDWARDS (Bryndle) Ill and In Need Of Your Help

2010-08-12T09:28:00.000-07:00

Just got an e-mail on Kenny Edwards today:

Kenny is in desperate need of an air ambulance to return home to his beloved Southern California.

The cost of this flight is beyond his resources. His friends have come together to help pay for this flight to bring Kenny home. Any help you can give us would be greatly appreciated.

Please feel free to pass this on. We must bring Kenny home.

Thank You for your help!

The latest news is that he's to be air-lifted home to California tomorrow (August 13th) and more medical care will follow.

Please visit www.kennyedwards.com for more information. There's a PAYPAL donation button on the site.

A bit of a refresher: Kenny Edwards has been a force in the "California Sound" of pop/rock since 1967 when he formed The Stone Poneys with Linda Ronstadt and Bob Kimmel. He's also worked with Brian Wilson,Don Henley, Emmylou Harris, Stevie Nicks and J.D. Souther among others.

In addition to his solo work as a performer, he returned to his roots as a "group member" when he became part of BRYNDLE, along with the three other solo artists who decided to harmonize in this special way; Andrew Gold, Wendy Waldman and Illfolks fave Karla Bonoff.

He's Ill, Folks! I know times are tough, and people are asking you for donations all the time, too. So here's the deal. How about sending FIVE BUCKS to Kenny, not as a donation, but in return for your FIVE song download below. You're getting solid 256 kb downloads of FIVE songs from the first Bryndle album...all with the guys on lead vocals (Kenny and Andrew).

1. I Want to Touch You
2. Savannah
3. We Walked This Road
4. Streets of Your Town
5. The Wheel.

Can you spare $5 for these 5 downloads? If you can Paypal more, that's great. (The Paypal donation button is at www.kennyedwards.com). Thank you.

FIVE BRYNDLE SONGS...For a Five Buck Donation to Kenny's health fund

UPDATE AUGUST 19th.
I'm sorry to have to post the news that Kenny Edwards died yesterday.

DANNY KORTCHMAR "ENDLESS SLEEP" with LINDA R.

2010-08-09T07:43:00.000-07:00

Linda Ronstadt on Danny Kortchmar's album "Innuendo."

When deserving studio musicians get a solo shot, superstar friends are ready to help out. It's a tricky thing, though. How overt should the contribution be, and how strongly should it be marketed?

Sometimes the guest star simply turns up in the credits as a nice surprise, like Ry Cooder on guitar for two tracks on Ron Nagle's debut album. Sometimes the artist promotes the lucky favor. After an indifferently received solo album, Gary Brooker trumpeted on the back of his second: "Special thanks to…Phil Collins, Eric Clapton and George Harrison who by their help and company made this record not unworthy of the perusal of most listeners."

Not that it helped him sell many copies. And in this case, the Linda Ronstadt-Danny Kortchmar duet was actually issued as a single, and few seemed to notice. So luck plays as much a part as the guest vocalist. Linda and Danny's version of Jody Reynolds' morbid cult classic "Endless Sleep," is epic. And what a nice touch, to have a song about a woman lost at sea now featuring the frantic voice of a woman!

To be honest, though this album's been part of the Illfolks morgue since it was released, the favorite track has always been "Hair of the Dog," a kind of Zevonesque novelty. There's a jeeringly obvious pun in the refrain. As Danny sings to a girl who might need more lovin' from her bad boy lover, he sneers that she needs "the hair of the dog that bit cha…bitch ya…bitch ya…"

It was during a nostalgic hour of returning to the world of West Coast edgy-hipsters and truth-tellers (ooh, Don Henley, Jackson "Lawyers in Love" Browne, even his brother Sev) that I felt like dragging and dropping the needle on "Hair of the Dog," and then re-exploring the rest of the forgotten album, with its shaving gel advert cover of a moist-faced wet-haired Mr. Danny with a towel around his neck. That's when I literally grooved on "Endless Sleep," with perky Ronstadt on a death trip fer Reaper's sake!

It's surprising that given the Japanese fetish for all-things James Taylor (they love any session man who played with James and even re-issued Craig Doerge's solo album for that reason) Danny's "Innuendo" album never made an appearance in the land of the wan Obi-covered CD.

Surely, as influential as the Illfolks blog is, everything will change now that attention's been called to this lost rendition of "Endless Sleep." I said, surely as influential as the Illfolks blog is…hey...somebody...pay attention...

ENDLESS SLEEP danny kortchmar Instant download or listen on line. No pop ups, porn ads or wait time.

BOBBY HEBB : SUNSET FOR THE "SUNNY" SINGER

2010-08-09T07:33:00.000-07:00

Bobby Hebb was a one-hit wonder, and like so many of these guys, after making a splash, he spent a few years floating around aimlessly before sinking to the bottom, dismissed as merely a "fluke." There was a 35 year drought (1970-2005) where the Hebb-cat wasn't on black vinyl at all, with only the "Sunny" side up and available on compilations. "Sunny" was also his ticket to various memorabilia shows and oldies festivals where all he had to do was sing his hit and hope the fee covered a little more than just the travel expenses and hotel.

Every obit on Bobby Hebb steals the basics from the same sources, so you probably know his parents were blind, he and his Nashville-born brother Harold formed a tap-dancing act, and that when they went their separate ways, Bobby turned up in Roy Acuff's band while his brother joined The Prisonaires…made up of other jail birds. Harold did get out of prison and into a real group, The Marigolds, but was never far from danger. And so it was, that in 1963, (coincidentally a day after the JFK assassination, and also Boris Karloff's birthday), he ended up knifed to death, but not before firing a fatal shot into the guy who'd mortally wounded him.

Bobby had begun his recording career by then, replacing Mickey Baker (in "Mickey and Sylvia" of "Love is Strange" fame). As "Bobby and Sylvia," they recorded what is now regarded as a cult item, the cringeworthy "You Broke My Heart and I Broke Your Jaw," which has the same cheery feel as Dave Clark 5's "I Like it Like That." This was the era of the Spector-produced Crystals tune"He hit me, and it felt like a kiss," music by Carole King, lyrics by Gerry Goffin. Even so, the soulful duo are alarmingly garrulous as they swap barbs and seem to suggest that in the ghetto, violence is no big deal. Back then, Bobby's song was a mere Hebbaroid on the giant butt of indie R&B singles. Now the single on Bill Grauer's Battle label, can fetch some decent bucks on eBay. Grauer did a lot better back then with full-sized jazz albums via his main company, Riverside.

In 1966, Hebb's melding of R&B, Nashville and pop, yielded a smash hit with "Sunny." Though it was covered by every annoying finger-snapping singer hitting the TV variety shows of the day, he managed to lay down the definitive version. He just couldn't lay down another hit single to cement his identity with the music-loving public. "A Satisfied Mind" was modestly successful in 1966, and a Hebb-penned song "A Natural Man" was a hit for Lou Rawls in 1971, a year after Hebb's album career sputtered to a seeming end with "Love Games" on Epic. In 2005, the indie label Tuition offered a new album which was aimed mostly at Hebb's following in Japan, where he often toured. He's still best loved for "Sunny," which is, even if you want to dismiss it as mawkish pop, quite an achievement as a piece that melds various music styles together, and in it's major and minor key chorus and verse, captures notes of both blues pessimism and pop optimism.

You get a half-dozen Heb-caps here, five cuts from the tail end of his prime in 1970 (This Bird Has Flown, I've Learned to Love, Grin and Bear It, I'll Be Anything and Good Morning World) and a halfway decent copy of the obscure "You Broke My Heart and I Broke Your Jaw."

Help Yourself to Hebb tracks

JAMES KOMACK - "The Beat Generation"

2010-08-09T07:31:00.000-07:00

Imagine if Jerry Lewis had been influenced by Lenny Bruce.

That sort of describes what you'll find on the lone James Komack comedy album "At the Waldorf." It's a mix of comedy and music, Borscht Belt schtick and a touch of the "sick." Back when he was a rising stand-up comic, most felt the highlight of Jimmy's album was his sure-fire brawling "fight announcer" routine: imagine a boxing commentator broadcasting a couple's wedding night! Ya-ha! Today, the more rewarding tracks on the album are his bent musical parodies of drug addiction ( "Man With the Golden Arm") and hipster poetry ("The Beat Generation.")

In the late 50's Komack was also a promising comic actor, standing out from the rest of the wacky Washington Senators singing "Heart" in the film "Damn Yankees." He issued some novelty tracks for Coral (including "Them The Enemy" about "femmanim" women, and his klutzy fascination with them) and in 1957 even managed to get a deal with RCA Victor for a mostly serious singing album. The comical album cover for "Inside Me," showed him on a psychiatrist's couch.

James offered some comic relief on the Jackie Cooper sitcom "Hennesey" but found better luck behind the scenes as a sitcom producer. He helmed the short-lived "Hank" in 1965 featuring the very late Dick Kallman as a guy constantly being chased off a college campus while trying to get an education and degree without the tuition money. He followed it with Roger Smith's TV sitcom version of "Mister Roberts" and then, balancing the failures of "Mr. T and Tina" and "The Roller Girls," he had major successes with "The Courtship of Eddie's Father," "Chico and the Man" and "Welcome Back, Kotter."

We missed James Komack's birthday, August 3rd , 1924. But so did he. He died the day before Christmas, 1997. When I first heard "The Beat Generation," still a school kid, I didn't get all the references. (I did get the joke album title, that he was not playing the posh Waldorf Astoria hotel, but a cheap deli). I still knew there was something cool going on, and that Komack's indie album deserved a better fate than it got. That opinion's grown over the past decades. I think he was pretty flattered that anyone remembered it as fondly as I did, but there are other weirdos out there, and hopefully there will be more now. Some lines have become catch-phrases for me, and it's hard to really explain why. But if I ever get near Sak's Fifth Avenue, I'd go in and "stomp on the floor," just to get a chuckle out of Komack's poltergeist. Assuming it isn't too busy beating the crap out of Pinky Lee's poltergeist. PS, "Beverly Aadland, go home!" (Why, I have no idea. Maybe James was an Errol Flynn fan.) Hear it for yourself. Consider yourself hipped.

JAMES KOMACK the BEAT GENERATION

EARLY GRAVES DEATHMETAL SINGER MAKH DANIELS KILLED AT 28

2010-08-09T07:28:00.000-07:00

I know what you're thinking. A guy growling "Goner" in a Death Metal band called Early Graves gets killed before he reaches 30. Was he asking for it?

One thing is certain, the schedule for his band was a killer. The guys from Early Graves and The Funeral Pyre were on one hellacious tour, all over the hot, humid country in July. Nine guys in a van. Take a look and ask yourself if it's a surprise that on August 2nd, the driver fell asleep at the wheel on Interstate 5, one of the monotonous white-line highways that were blinding them:

7/1 Dallas, TX @ Renos Chop Shop
7/2 San Antonio, TX @ Zombies!!!
7/3 Austin, TX @ Red 7
7/4 OFF DATE in Dallas. lets party.
7/5 Memphis, TN @ The Poplar Lounge
7/6 Nashville, TN @ The Black Church. 504 N 3RD ST
7/7 Louisville, KY @ Skull Alley
7/8 Columbus, OH @ 15th House (369 e. 15th ave)
7/9 Columbus, OH @ the Cara Bar
7/10 Gloversville, NY @ Limbos
7/11 Jamaica Plain, MA @ The Midway Cafe
7/12 Boston, MA @ Church Of Boston. 69 Killmarnock St.
7/13 Dover, New Hampshire @ Dover Brickhouse
7/14 Haverhill, MA @ Anchors Up
7/15 Asbury Park, NJ @ Asbury Lanes
7/16 Philadelphia, PA @ The M Room
7/17 Brooklyn, NY @The Union Pool
7/18 Pittsburgh, PA @Belvedere’s
7/19 Toledo, OH @ The Black Cherry
7/20 Milwaukee WI @ the borg ward.
7/21 St Louis, MO @ Fubar
7/22 KC, MO @ Aftershock
7/23 Lincoln, NE @The Manor
7/24 Denver, CO @ Blastomat
7/25 Cheyenne, WY @ Ernie November
7/26 Salt Lake City, UT @ The Outer Rim
7/27 Garden City, ID @ Brawl Studios
7/28 Spokane, WA @ Mootsy's
7/29 Seattle, Wa @ The Morgue
7/30 Portland, OR @ Plan B
7/31 Bellingham, WA @ JINX artspace
8/1 Salem, OR @ TBA
8/2 Reno, NV @ Ryans Saloon
8/3 SF, CA @ Submission Gallery
8/4 Los Angeles, CA @ TBA
8/5 Riverside, CA @ TBA
8/6 Whittier, CA @ The Bamboo Lounge
8/7 Long Beach, CA @ TBA
8/8 Echo Park, CA @ POWER OF THE RIFF FEST

No, they didn't quite make it to the Submission Gallery, or continue their August run. The odds were not with them at any point in this demonic drive. Would you fucking love to drive from Memphis to Nashville within 24 hours? And then Nashville to Louisville? And Louisville to Columbus Ohio? Every damned day they were on the road, going huge distances.

Sometimes they got a break. It's only about a 2 hour drive from Philadelphia to Brooklyn. But from Brooklyn they had to get to Pittsburgh!

That's the reality of trying to make a living by making music, especially when there's no money to be made from selling CDs or mp3's and most of it has to come from live shows. Rationalize it all you want: "Nobody was FORCING them to tour so much," and "They could of had DAY JOBS and played on WEEKENDS," and "They just didn't tell their fans often enough, "if you like it buy it..." What…ev…er…..

Lead singer Matikeef (Makh) Daniels was ejected from the van after driver Justin Garcia (a guitarist with The Funeral Pyre) conked at the wheel, and that was it; over and out. The band's brand of thrash, hardcore, metalcore and Death Metal can be heard on their two surviving CD's, "We the Guillotine" from 2008 and their 2010 release "Goner." You get a lucky seven of those tracks in the download; any more would be pointless because a) the stuff is in print, and b) it all sounds the same. Hear the head-banging drums, thrashing guitars and Cookie Monster ranting for yourself, on:

Goner, Faith is Shit, Old Bones, Give Up, The Man in Black, Ghosts Among Us, and Borrowed Teeth Borrowed Claws.

EARLY GRAVES 7 tracks

NO MORE MANOLE. Madalina Manole a Birthday Suicide

2010-07-29T08:27:00.001-07:00

One of Romania's greatest stars, folk artist turned pop-rocker Madalina Manole turned up dead on her 43rd birthday (July 14th, a gloomy wednesday full of woe), leaving a note for her husband Mircea Petru. She had a one year-old son. She had a prosperous career (with a comeback album released in 2010) but depression is a disease that blinds people to hope and can leave them flailing for meaning and ultimately grasping for the means to end it all.

Fans, depressed and saddened by the demise of a woman they had admired for over 25 years, did not get much comfort from the Romanian Orthodox Church, who would not allow a massive tribute in a church because of her crime — the sin of suicide.

Her fatal means was an overdose of Furadan, a powerful insecticide that is so toxic that the powdered version was banned in the U.S.A. and many other countries. A bit of Furadan, the size of a seed, can instantly kill a bird. The liquid version is also dangerous. A teaspoon of it is fatal to a human and because enough residue can linger on crops and kill small animals, most farmers have voluntarily suspended using it. Many countries have also banned sibutramine hydrochloride monohydrate, something else found in Madalina's system. A diet drug, it's considered dangerous and potentially addictive, and where it is legal, warnings from the manufacturer indicate it shouldn't be used by a patient suffering depression.

You'll note in the pictures below, that Manole looks very thin-glamorous in the picture on the left, and more zaftig in the one on the right, where perhaps the rest of her is a bit more fleshed out as well. As we know from songs such as "Sophie" by Eleanor McEvoy, the neurotic desire to be thin, and the failure to recognize a proper and human weight for a woman, has led to many, many deaths.

Madalena (first name actually Magdalena-Anca) was just 13 when she had her first taste of fame, singing "Pentru noi nu poate fi alt cer" ("For Us There Cannot Be Another Heaven"). It was featured in the film "Nelu." She blossomed into a true beauty, and at 23, she had her first smash hit with "Fata Draga" ("Lovely Girl') written by her future husband Şerban Georgescu. He wrote most of her early hits, and her next few albums offered an intriguing blend of pop modernity and a respect for Romanian folklore. Her songs and singing were good enough to interest PolyGram, who seemed to think that she might have some crossover appeal, despite the language barrier...since beauty knows no language barrier. Hottie Manole got many endorsement deals for various cosmetics and hair products.

Through the 90's Madalina was a tremendous star, and the TV appearances and concert touring put her on the kind of high that helped her ignore the precarious lows…."the auditoriums and the tens of flower bouquets I was receiving, the joy on people’s faces when they were seeing me live on the streets of their towns, the dolls I was receiving from children at each show, the autographs and the letters from my fans, the songs they sang along line by line, all of these made me forget of the things less pleasant from my life as an artist; the longing for the loves ones at home, the scandalous newspaper articles, and the things that at artist has to give up, sacrifice, or keep a diet."

A casualty of her lifestyle and her maturation, was her marriage to mentor Şerban Georgescu, who was wealthy, powerful, but also fifteen years older. It seemed that after the painful divorce, she found love again via Petru Mircea, and the child she miraculously delivered at the age of 42. They married in October of 2009, four months after the boy was born. Within another four months, February of 2010, she had a new album out, but newspapers were reporting that she was exhausted, and there was some question about how many TV appearances and how much touring she would be doing. After her death, there were reports that she'd attempted suicide a month earlier.

Your download features a dozen samples of her work, including her first hit, "Fata Draga," which most certainly is steeped in her country's musical heritage, and may strike you as some distant cousin to the strains of "Those Were the Days" (Mary Hopkin) or "Gypsies Tramps and Thieves" (Cher), and that with the right English lyrics, it might've had a quirky chance of being an International hit. The more you listen to it, the catchier it becomes. There's also "Nu Esti Chiar Un Inger," which is your typical power pop ballad with a galloping beat that tastefully manages to slide past disco and twang a little closer to ABBA sensibilities. "Vino Dragostea Mea" actually sounds like some Italian boat song peeled out of a Canned Film Festival. "Vreau Sa Te Uit" could've been a sing-along for Dalida. "Da Te Iubesc" despite its somewhat corny back-up singers, is in the same pop vein as Madonna's "La Isla Bonita," released three years earlier, which is hardly an endorsement but gives you an idea of how slickly commercial Madalina could be.

Several tracks come from "Dulce De Tot," her beautiful 2000 release that capped her most productive period. "Un baiat minuet" is a bit of reggae-tinged oddness. A great track from that album, "Cand Sunt Cu Tine," is included not only because it's an assured, polished performance from Madalina, but is bound to arouse dyslexics. She released 7 albums in the 90's. But after "Dulce De Tot" in 2000, she produced only two more albums…one in 2003 and her comeback/farewell at the start of 2010. Her final album, "09 Madalina Manole" is widely available (even eMusic has tracks) and there are three songs sung in English including the mildly soulful "Loving My Baby."She sings it without betraying that English is a second or third language for her, and after repeat listens, it sounds as decent as any Mariah or Whitney-type wannabe, but what is most memorable with Madalina is the passion she finds in her native language, even if the music's influenced by Western pop. And so it is, that the 13th track, your sample from her last album, is "Suflet Gol," a full-blown ballad, recalling the kind of showstopper one might expect from a Celine Dion or Lara Fabian.

13 from MADALINA MANOLE

JOHN CALLAHAN - Completely Immobile at 59

2010-07-29T08:25:00.000-07:00

If you called up John Callahan and got his phone message, you heard: "This is John. I'm a little too depressed to take your call today. Please leave your message at the gunshot."

Callahan, who died July 24th, was a quadriplegic cartoonist, a cross between Sam Gross and Gary Larson…prone toward both "tasteless" cartooning and comical shock just for the fun of being weird.

His particular form of quadriplegia, due to a drunken car accident at age 21, was paralysis from the waist down and weakened use of his arms. He was able to draw only by putting both his semi-lifeless hands together. This resulted in a punkish style that almost seemed intentional, since his cartoon anthologies turned up at a time when Peter Bagge and many others were deliberately mimicking grade-school level drawing, and even The New Yorker was getting edgy via Roz Chast and Jack Ziegler.

Facially, John looked like a cross between Paul Krassner and Warren Zevon. As one might expect, the internal complications from quadriplegia, as well as external sores and infections, were bound to shorten his life, and so he passed on at 59. Unlike indie music quad Vic Chesnutt (also paralyzed below the waist due to a car accident) his end was not a suicide, though his songs often touched on that subject.

A few years ago, John ventured into Chesnutt territory for his indie album "Purple Winos in the Rain." Since even Chesnutt, who did a lot of touring, and had been a professional musician for years, wasn't selling big amounts of CD's in this era of penury and piracy, Callahan's album was no hit. It wasn't reviewed in the major mags, wasn't known to the average music lover (since most don't spend a lot of time auditioning obscurities at CDBaby or eMusic). Even some Callahan fans didn't know of it, unless they were dedicated enough to visit his website. The best tracks are surprisingly gentle in their seriousness, including the Zevonesque "Touch Me Where I Can Feel." After a Portland concert, Bob Dylan made himself available to meet John…not sure if Bob was a fan of the cartooning or the music, or just felt charitable toward someone his entourage felt he should meet.

Callahan's lack of musical success didn't matter much, financially at least. Once living in public housing, he did pretty well syndicating his cartoons, publishing compilations in paperback, and scoring some bucks with cable TV animation based on his drawings, including "Pelswick" and "Quads!"

A documentary was made on him a few years ago, and it made sure to include recitations of angry letters sent to him or his publisher. The irony was that much of the protests came from people unaware of Callahan's handicap. They invariably included an indignant line that the tasteless cartoonist would not be so quick to make fun of the handicapped if he too had to live his life in a wheelchair. Callahan, however, was one of the "equal opportunity offenders," who also pushed buttons with gags about Catholics, blacks, dogs and women (mentioned here, in no particular order). It had to be rather pleasing for John that well into the 21st Century, and with Dwayne Tinsley, R. Crumb and Gary Larson already out there, along with thousands of cartoons published in Hustler, Screw and the National Lampoon (as well as a zillion comic books and indie zines), people were still writing in, offended by his work.

Your download…the rather gentle "Lost in the City," where John's simple lyric and melody is tastefully augmented by minimal backing by professional musicians (John himself could barely strum a ukelele and spit rudimentary harmonica). The extra few minutes at the end are from "Suicide in the Fall." While his songs were often somber, they were also often optimistic. While they might touch on the sad or the pathetic, like some of Zevon's tunes, they seldom involved pity. The full CD of "Purple Winos in the Rain" has a lot of surprises and rewards, including a guest appearance by Tom Waits.

JOHN CALLAHAN Lost in the City-Suicide in the Fall Instant download, no pop-ups pop-unders, porn links or wait time.

DO ME GOOD, BABY! The late JOYA SHERRILL

2010-07-29T08:24:00.001-07:00

"I never really left the band," Joya Sherrill once said. "Duke would call me for jobs once a year at least." Which was good enough for the wife and mother that Joya had become long after her initial work with Duke Ellington. She also had a kiddie show on New York's indie station WPIX, where past masters Officer Joe Bolton and Captain Jack McCarthy had hosted Three Stooges shorts and Popeye cartoons.

The New Jersey-born Joya (August 20, 1924 – June 28, 2010) first worked with the Ellington band in 1942, then again in 1944, and more steadily through that decade and into the early 50's. She's often credited as the author of the lyrics to Billy Strayhorn's "Take the A Train." Not always. Strayhorn wrote lyrics that were never used. The piece was often recorded as an instrumental, so the label credit was all his. Joya heard the song on the radio and added some words, which she gave to her father, who had the connections to get it to The Duke. The song was soon recorded with lyrics, but it was up to an astute secretary or somebody at the publishing house to make sure the credit on the label was Strayhorn-Sherrill. But the credit line doesn't end there! Often the credit you see is: Ellington-Strayhorn-Sherrill, because the famous downward chord vamp on the keyboard, which introduces the song and reappears throughout, was Duke's invention. This contribution is as much a part of the song as, say, Matthew Fisher's organ work in "A Whiter Shade of Pale."

Twenty years later, Joya was hired by another Big Band legend, Benny Goodman, for a good will tour of the Soviet Union. Probably her best known single was the Russian tune released via Reprise, "Katusha." And yes, now and then she'd get an offer for a date or two with Ellington and his band…or, the reverse. One day in 1970, the Duke turned up at the WPIX studios on 42nd Street to appear on an episode of "Joya's Fun School." Her series ran (and re-ran) through 1982. After that, she was pretty much the wife of Mr. Richard Guilmenot, a construction superintendent. The couple, and family, lived nicely in Great Neck, New York.

Another New York favorite is the "Joyva Jell." The Joyva company was first known for making halvah (this has already been documented elsewhere on the blog) but also did a brisk business in chocolate-covered marshmallow penny candy, and chocolate covered raspberry jell bars and jell rings.

There's not a more beautiful candy in the world. Bite off either end of a jell bar or bite out a chunk of jell ring, and hold it up to the light; a beautiful, gem-stone shade of purple.

The jell bars began to disappear when penny candy inched upwards of two for a nickel, although Joyva did market a full-sized bar for ten cents eventually (available in pure raspberry enrobed in chocolate, or stripped of chocolate and sprinkled with sugar, and half raspberry, half orange, with a peculiar meringue foam in the middle). As Joya's name instantly brought back a memory of Joyva, the photo gives our singer the treat of a handful of jell rings, which are still sold (by the pound) in stores and via the Internet. Ring-a-ding!

Joya Sherrill's few albums are easy to find on eBay, and on a good week, can be had for a fiver or a tenner. They include her main solo work, "Sugar and Spice" (on Columbia, featuring Luther Henderson) and "Joya Sherrill Sings Duke Ellington" (on 20th Century) as well as odd-ball "halfsy" albums such as "Della Reese and Joya Sherrill" and "Spotlight on Sammy Davis Jr. and Joya Sherrill" (also known as "Sammy Davis Jr. Jumps with Joya.") There's also the original cast album "Duke Ellington's MY PEOPLE with Joya Sherrill." But…for a taste, we go with…"Do Me Good Baby," which Joya certainly does.

DO ME GOOD BABY! Instant download, no pop-ups pop-unders, porn ads or wait time extortion.