YES My Darling Daughter - Vintage Sex Song

A seminal song about consensual sex, "Yes My Darling Daughter" was a pretty pioneering effort back in 1940: a horny girl describes the advice she got from her very hip mama!

When Eddie Cantor heard a demo of it, he flipped for the song, and the unknown girl who sang it. That girl was Dinah Shore, and she and "Yes My Darling Daughter" became a hit when she sang it on Cantor's radio show.

Dinah's radio debut was so hot, she reprised the song just a month later, October 23, 1940. (That version is available below). Dinah ended up a regular on Cantor's radio show, and a big recording star.

Fast forward nearly 20 years to Eydie Gorme's version. Gorme's another Jewish girl like Dinah, but her version's got a rocking up-tempo big-band arrangement. She removes the line suggesting papa might protest her antics, and...check the ending! Gorme is getting pretty orgasmic with her "Yes, Yes" delights, and goes so far overboard...the police have to be called in.

Listen for how Gorme's voice melds with a police siren! Out of respect to Eydie Gorme and her husband Steve Lawrence, no further speculation will be made as to why the cops were called.

The illfolks blog takes great pleasure in offering an obscure and unlikely bit of smut, and hopefully you'll take great pleasure too, although for a song that's under 3 minutes, you'll have to be quick.

PS, songwriter Jack Lawrence wrote the lyrics for several very clean hit songs, including "Beyond the Sea," "Tenderly," "All Or Nothing at All" and "If I Didn't Care."

GORME goes Nuts
DINAH on Radio

Jim Croce's PATTI DAHLSTROM

People in the music business still shake their heads about Patti Dahlstrom. She made four albums. She should've been more of a contender. Critics were enchanted by her looks, and less so by her rootsy Southern vocals which were true if not pretty. Perhaps at the time (early 70's) there was no such thing as "country crossover," so being pitched as a pop star was doing her a disservice.

Her friend Jim Croce had much better luck as her opposite; smooth voice, indifferent looks. (Patti didn't mention Croce much to the press, but I used his name to get your attention.) Dahlstrom was especially effective as a lyricist. Her new words for "Amoureuse," re-titled "Emotion," brought Veronique Sanson's music to America for the first time. The song was a hit in Helen Reddy's cosmetic version, rather than the no make-up style of Dahlstrom.

Patti had a co-write for a song in the 1985 film "Heated Vengeance" but settled in Houston where she became a teacher. And speaking of teaching, listen to "Slim and Olabelle," (on her first album), a country rocker about the lessons she learned from her grandparents:

"And they only taught me two things. The first was to answer to myself. To do it if I think in my head it's right, and it don't hurt nobody else. And the second is if you love someone, go on, honey, let him know it, because the easiest thing about loving someone is to show it."

On the album, and here, the song is followed by a nice ballad, "Rider," which rides off into the sunset.

SLIM AND OLABELLE / RIDER

CAPITAL PUNISHMENT

Sometimes an obscure person becomes famous by getting executed. The four cases presented here led to songs that have immortalized the mere mortal.
What's your view on the death penalty?
Should it never be used? Is it better or crueler to let someone rot in a tiny cell? Perhaps the death penalty should be reserved only for cases of premeditated murder or mass murder, such as Lennon's killer or The Son of Sam (both residing rather comfortably in New York State).
The four cases here involve an alleged rapist who never killed anyone, a druggie who went nuts with a murderous boyfriend, a guy whose partner killed a cop, and a somewhat slow man who was innocent and framed by the real killer.
CARYL CHESSMAN (top left) was a career criminal, but his rap sheet didn't include rape, and the masked "Red Light Bandit," not only robbed motorists he sexually assaulted female passengers. Caught in a car with a red light (simulating a police car's light) and unwilling to say who was using the car besides himself, Chessman was convicted of multiple felonies including kidnapping (for dragging a woman out of a car against her will). In California, kidnapping could be punished by death. And it was. Chessman fought an amazing battle to stay alive and wrote a best-selling autobiography while on death row. After many years, he finally died because a secretary mis-dialed the warden's office and the latest stay of execution was received too late. Some say a rapist deserves death, and a career criminal is no loss. Two country songs challenged the death penalty in the Chessman case (as did celebrities around the world). A reference to Chessman turns up in "The Lamb Lies Down on Broadway" Genesis album. Should Chessman have died?
KARLA FAYE TUCKER was white trash in Texas, a teen groupie with the Allman Brothers Band, later a heroin addict and prostitute. She lived in a slum where everyone did drugs, and a Harley dripping oil and stinking of fumes was safer in the house than outside. Karla hated the guy who owned the Harley, especially since he routinely beat his wife (a friend of Karla's). Karla and her latest boyfriend planned on wrecking the guy's bike, but after a binge of drugs, they beat the guy to a pulp, along with his latest girlfriend, who had been hiding in the darkness. In prison, Tucker was apparently "born again," and many insisted her early environment had much to do with her crime. If various bloody female followers of Manson could escape the death penalty, how about a reprieve for Karla? After 15 years on death row could anyone say she was the same person she once was? Her pleas for mercy were ignored by Gov. George W. Bush who declared: "Karla Faye Tucker has acknowledged she is guilty of a horrible crime. She was convicted and sentenced by a jury of her peers. The role of the state is to enforce our laws...May God bless Karla Faye Tucker and may God bless her victims and their families." Should a messed up woman's one night of brutality mean execution?
In Great Britain, Tim Evans died in 1950 and Derek Bentley in 1953. Ewan MacColl wrote protest songs after the executions, focusing on the glaring injustices in both high-profile cases.
TIM EVANS (lower left), his wife and child, lived uncomfortably in a poor walk-up apartment. Their arguments were heard by a neighbor, Dr. Christie. When the police found the body of Mrs. Evans, and the child, Tim was long gone, on the advice of the good doctor. Frightened during interogation, and not having much to live for, he confessed. Then he recanted. Ewan Maccoll's brilliant song (alternately called "Go Down Ye Murderer") seems to follow, with justifiable vengeance, the execution of a murderer. The song was recently covered by Karan Casey. Should Evans, with a previous clean record and protests of innocence, have gotten the death penalty?
Teens DEREK BENTLEY and Chris Craig were just a pair of Croydon punks. During a warehouse burglary gone wrong, they were stopped by a policeman. Craig waved his gun. Bentley shouted, "Let him have it, Chris." Meaning, hand over the gun? Craig chose the slang meaning, and shot the cop dead. He was a bit under the legal age for a hanging, but not Bentley. Though he had not fired the gun, Derek was deemed just as guilty as Craig. MacColl's song seethes over the boy's death while the chorus grimaces at the comic books and violent films that "educated" the young criminals. Elvis Costello re-visited the case and wrote his own version ("Let Him Dangle') decades later. Should Bentley, or anyone, get the death penalty when they haven't actually killed anyone? Chris Craig served ten years in jail and has not been in trouble with the law since.


CARYL CHESSMAN - Ronnie Hawkins
CARYL CHESSMAN - Country Johnny Mathis
KARLA FAYE - Mark Knopfler
KARLA FAYE - Mary Gauthier
BALLAD OF TIM EVANS - Karan Casey
BALLAD OF TIM EVANS - Ivy League Trio
GO DOWN YE MURDERER - PADDY REILLY
BENTLEY AND CRAIG - Ewan MacColl
LET HIM DANGLE - Elvis Costello

SACRELIGE #4 Simon & Garfunkel Satire

"Hello darkness, my old friend."

A message left by Art Garfunkel on Paul Simon's answering machine? For those who continue to continue to pretend that friendships never end, and that flowers never bend with the rainfall, I suggest you NOT download this celebration of Simon hating Garfunkel and vice versa.

Those mature enough to realize that often the only thing that keeps a relationship going is a mutual need to make a little cash, here's hoping you'll like "Here's Hoping." It was performed on England's "Not the 9 O'Clock News," about 25 years ago. At the time, Paul and Artie were tolerating each other for a tour, which wasn't helped by a British TV interviewer asking Garfunkel about all those great songs he wrote. That's probably why this satire has Paul very prominently declaring HE wrote all the material.

ILLFOLKS declares that the Photoshop job on the picture above is also satire.

Simon and Garfunkel created some great songs together. Their solo work can be enjoyed at home or while exercising in Paul-Artie's classes. So at the illfolks blog, the joke is on those who still don't get it; people will grow, mature, and sometimes start disliking and avoiding each other. Call it a'pauling, or art-istic, but it happens, and here's some fun over the feud...

Instant download: Simon and Garfunkel HERE'S HOPING

LILY OF THE WEST Murder Ballad x 10

Boy meets girl. Boy loses girl. Boy kills rival. But that's not the end of the story: "still I love my faithless Flora, the lily of the west." Boy, is this guy gone. In fact, soon he'll be executed. [SHE will be executed, too, in the case of the "lesbian" versions from Joan Baez and Rosanne Cash]

The setting for this well known "crime of passion" song is Louisville for American folksingers, but its origins are in the U.K. circa the 1830's. The Irish ballad cautioned against journeying South: "Twas when I came to England, some pleasures for to find..." In the original, our hero merely loves and loses Flora:
"I courted her a fortnight, in hopes her love to gain, But soon she turn'd against me, which caused all my pain. She robb'd me of my freedom, she robb'd me of my rest, I roam, forsook of Flora, the Lily of the West."

Within a few decades, and with broadsheets popularizing murder ballads, the tune was revised to include mayhem. The upper class is blamed, since Flora falls for a "lord of high degree." Our hero sees red, and acts rashly. Or has a rash, and sees red:

"I walked up to my rival with a dagger in my hand, And seized him from my false love, and bid him boldly stand; Then, mad with desperation, I swore I'd pierce his breast, And I was betrayed by Flora, the Lily of the West."

(Yes, you can click the picture and see a larger version of the sheet about this broad Flora). As with "Stagger Lee" and "Tom Dooley," more than one musical setting can accompany these lyrics. The less popular version (the one resuscitated by Mark Knopfler, and the one used often by Irish traditionalists) seizes the melody more commonly associated with the old air, "Lakes of Pontchartrain." With this 10-version download you get "Lakes of Pontchartrain" with its own far less murderous original lyric, so you can compare it to the versions here that borrow from it. Over the years Flora's been re-named "Maire" or "Mary-O" or "Molly-O," but "Flora," after all, is more likely to be a "Lily" of the west.

Geography students can worry over how far "west" Flora might be in relation to Louisville. Once the song was transplanted into a Kentucky ballad of the Old West, the slimeball that Flora was fooling with was changed from a "lord of high degree" to "a man of high degree" or, worse, "a man of low degree." Either way, Flora served most definitely as a witness for the prosecution! Which suggests the Groucho line, "I was fighting for your honor, which is more than you ever did." The song wouldn't be nearly so compelling if the guy didn't still love her, setting up over a century of similar (if not always lethal) songs of agony.

In American versions, the pain is that the gallows await while the singer woefully declares he still loves his "faithless Flora." One Irish version actually spares the guy...no wonder it isn't popular:

"I then did stand my trial, and boldly I did plea. A flaw was in my indictment found, and that soon had me free. That beauty bright I did adore, the judge did her address, He said "go you faithless Molly - O", the Lily of the West Now that I've gained my liberty, a roamin' I will go. I'll ramble through old Ireland, and travel Scotland o'er. Though she thought to swear my life away, she still disturbs my rest, I still must style her Molly - O, the Lily of the West."

That's the version from Alex Beaton and from The Chieftains with the Ponchartrain melody. In most others, the guy has been found guilty thanks to Flora's eye-witness testimony, and poor boy, he's gonna die. Whether you prefer Bert Jansch, Pentangle, Steve Forbert, Rosanne Cash, etc., a special doff of the hangman's cowl goes to Peter Paul and Mary who recorded it on their best-selling album "Moving." It gave the old number a fresh new audience and probably inspired most of the cover renditions. Their version may have a little extra resonance since it's the only one that, unintentionally, echoes the love triangle of the story. Peter and Paul harmonize like dueling rivals, while Mary's alluring refrains suggest how haunting Flora was, and how easy love lost became life lost.
R-share: 10 LILIES OF THE WEST and a PONCHARTRAIN

Beatles! "You Know My Name" In FRENCH

We like art collages, but tend to be baffled by sound collages. Odd, isn't it?
When The Beatles snuck "You Know My Name, Look Up The Number" onto a B-side, it sounded like a recording of somebody spinning the dial between "Top of the Pops," "The Goon Show" and shortwave radio.
Yet, being a Beatles song, it was dutifully covered by other artists. Here is the French language version by one Gerard Saint-Paul (unless it's two, Gerard and Saint-Paul). What do you think it sounds like? Sort of Deja vu in French? Could it also be Groovy Fab?
It's on Volume 2 of "La France Et Les Beatles" which is up to four volumes already. Sapristi! Gerard also recorded Rentre Jojo a la maison (Get Back) and C'est beau Paris (Come Together), while Ringo Starr sang "Beaucoups of Blues." I wish my French was good enough. I'd tell you so much more.

Gerard Saint-Paul - Dis moi je t'aime.

A HERRING and A DOMINO (Anne and Anna)

It's Anna Domino and Annie Herring.
And rather than do a Lawrence Welk impression by introducing "Anna one, Annie two," let's get the facts out of the way, fast. YOU may not have heard of either, but they have been in the music biz for 20 (Domino) and 30 (Herring) years now.

Herring is a Christian singer-songwriter, so chances are you'd know her if you feel more positive about Oral Roberts than oral sex. All her recordings are on Christian record labels, but don't label her a Jesus freak. Take the perky, pretty "Wild Child," from her very first album. It's faster than a pirouetting rodent and filled with the kind of free-wheeling glee that most will only get after an uplifting morning in church or an upshot of Summers' Eve.

Is it a sin to download this out of print bit of Herring? What would Jesus do?

Like many contemporary Christian singers Annie's lyrics are not always overt in referencing that Son of you-know-who. (Parenthetical note: the grand Rebecca St. James scored a massive contemporary Christian hit via "Me Without You," which SHE thought was about God. The songwriter, Martin Briley, was just writing a love song to a very real You. But the Lord moves in mysterious ways).

As sung very fast by A. Herring:

WILD CHILD I always wanted my life to look like the right side of a tapestry, a tapestry, But darkness was weaved in when I was conceived in iniquity. And now I wanna be cut free... You took me out of hell when you tore through my veil And now all I can do is just look at you And be me for the first time. I feel like a child that's never gone wild. And I feel pretty in my soul The darkness is gone And what keeps me hangin' on is you. And that's all I want..."

As for Anna Domino, she's had a cult following for twenty years, which means she can pretty much walk around unnoticed. Her real name is the less ecclesiastical Anna Taylor. Her style of indie-pop, at least on the cut you're about to hear, puts her somewhere into the Joni Mitchell category of someone cool, literate and aloof.
Born in Tokyo, raised in Ann Arbor, Michigan, she gravitated to Manhattan and worked with various indie rock bands, releasing her first full length album in 1986. "Own Kind" is from that vinyl.

She has since gone on to record some interesting stuff with her husband Michel Delory (check out Favourite Songs from the Twilight Years 1984-90). In 1999 the duo re-named themselves Snakefarm and released "Songs from My Funeral," filled with traditional folk songs and murder ballads.

OWN KIND Here we are polite well informed and mannerly All our boys and girls have money and enough to eat And weave a thread through the whole community Showing how we value heredity And what it means to belong to a fatherland Know the aborigine, colourfull but out of hand And now and then others come and threaten us And we fall back on forces we can trust And we shake our fists at the posters on the barroom wall We display our public grievance In the editorial page or else we paint it on a subway hall. We look upon the world but we're not quite part of it All the trouble there surely isn't our fault All the pain and hate and the needless punishment We've grown out of that and we're quite proud of it And something else that should well bear mentioning Once we were on top fashionable and interesting And we held sway over half this ship of fools Subject to our values myths and rules We know we can't afford to lose the past So full of moral lessons we thought would always last But now so many years without a war We have a generation A generation rotten to the core.

Instant song download ANNA DOMINO

Instant song download ANNIE HERRING

JIMMY CAMPBELL - Completely Baked

Liverpool's Jimmy Campbell has died (January 4-1944-February 12, 2007). He once said, "A lot of my songs are cries for help, and I suppose that's why they didn't make the grade." Unlike his contemporaries Don McLean and Gilbert O'Sullivan, Campbell wasn't commercial with his romantic tunes, solemn rock numbers or bleakly timid brand of self-pitying ballads.

On the cover of "Half Baked," he's the tragic clown, but whether he was trying to be a shoegazer version of Anthony Newley or just a rival to other grim singer songwriters of the day (Andy Bown, Matthew Fisher, etc.) he never even got a U.S. record deal.
Campbell's frustrations began when he was part of The Panthers, a group that played on the same bill in 1962 as another Liverpool group, The Beatles. Two years later the struggling Panthers appeared on the radio, but the announcer introduced them as The Kirkbys, because that's the district where the band was from. The band changed their name to The Kirkbys, and recorded "It's a Crime" on RCA. They even toured with Herman's Hermits. Some of Campbell's songs were recorded by The Merseys ("Dreamin'" and "Penny in my Pocket").
When the times turned psychedelic, the band became 23rd Turnoff and Deram released "Michaelangelo." Next, Campbell was in Rockin' Horse and ultimately solo'd with less than successful albums from 1969-1972. His later years seem to be a cloud of too much smoking and drinking.
His death was a surprise for those who didn't know he was even ill, but I always thought he was pretty ill, and your download of two pity-me tracks from "Half Baked" should prove it. This is not a mock; we all want some sympathy now and then, and many a favorite song of ours is a woe-is-me lament, from "Alone Again Naturally" to The Beatles' "Girl" or REM's "Everybody Hurts."
On "Dulcie, It's December" he says: "I've just crawled out the bath, I'm shining and clean like a summer raindrop." At least, I hope this is a phone call and he's not in her bedroom. He says he's not as neurotic as he used to be: "What used to bother me then doesn't bother me now."
Next, "Forever Grateful," once again has him begging for "a helping hand" because "Hope no longer spreads its wings to help me through the day."
Jimmy Campbell is feeling very sorry for himself on "Dulcie" and "Forever Grateful," but now that he's dead, you can feel sorry for him, too.
I went to my shelf to get some vintage whine for you. From the original vinyl, no Rabidshare, an instant download,
Two Half Baked Songs by Jimmy Campbell.

MURDER BALLAD - Judy Henske Peggy Seeger

It's a killer: Rhino Handmade has just released "Big Judy," a 2 CD overview of Judy Henske's legendary career. I will buy it even though it's expensive. $40 for a lifetime of Judy is money well spent, compared to a half hour massage, a few games of bowling or one bad meal and a few drinks one night.
Henske, her mighty oak height and powerful voice making Janis Joplin seem like a willow in comparison, belted folk, sang jazz (on "The Judy Garland Show") and made a legendary psych-rock-folk album called "Farewell Aldebaran." Her offbeat humor earned her the title "Queen of the Beatniks." She was also the inspiration for "Annie Hall" (Judy and Woody Allen made an unlikely pair, but they were a combo for a while. They appeared together in an obscure issue of the magazine HELP; the photo of Judy on this page is from that issue.)
"Little Romy" isn't on the 2 CD set. It's a nice example of her ill folkie twisted humor. Most artists adapted old songs and modernized them. Here, Judy updated "Omawise."
Since I know you're the scholarly type, I've included Peggy Seeger's traditional version so you can compare the two. Seeger (half-sister to Pete, wife to the late Ewan MacColl) went on to write one of the best modern folk songs of all time, "Ballad of Spring Hill" which has been covered by everyone from Peter Paul and Mary to U2.
Two murder ballads!
OMAWISE Peggy Seeger
LITTLE ROMY Judy Henske
These are non-Rabidshare files, instant downloads. For more information (and product) on these two living legends, visit the dot coms for Judy Henske and Peggy Seeger.

The South African Dead Baby Song

It's the first anniversary of the ILLFOLKS blog.

What better way to celebrate than with an ill folk song?

"Siembamba" is sort of the South African version of "Rockabye Baby." We don't mind crooning to our kids about a baby hauled into a tree, and then falling to the ground when a limb breaks. Guaranteed, baby breaks a few limbs, too.

And so in South Africa, there's an equally charming old folk song called "Siembamba."
The genteel, nearly forgotten husband and wife team of Marais and Miranda recorded it, both studio and live versions.
Goodwill ambassadors for South Africa, and fluent in songs involving Dutch and African languages, Marais and Miranda popularized "We Are Marching To Pretoria," "The Zulu Warrior," and many other songs nobody knows anymore. You can find most in the dollar bin of any record store that is still in business, and in thrift shops all over the world.
South African Josef Marais (Nov 17 1905 - Apr 27 1978) and Amsterdam native Miranda (Rosa Lily Odette Baruch de la Pardo, Jan 9 1912 - Apr 20 1986) were kindly people. They used to sing a folk song about "Johnny with the Wooden Leg," but after the war, and mindful of injuries suffered by soldiers, they updated the lyric to "Johnny with the bandy leg." They dressed like classical concert artists, and almost never performed anything that could be considered tasteless.
Almost never.
For any of you who are Dutch/South African, you'll recognize these lines:
Siembamba - mamma se kindjie
Siembamba - mamma se kindjie
Draai sy nek om gooi hom in die sloot
Trap op sy kop dan is hy dood
The rest of you will just have to download this ditty to hear the English translation.
And so, with over-population a threat to kill us if global warming doesn't, the ILLFOLKS blog happily presents....
The delightful dead baby lullaby SIEMBAMBA.

18 Versions of STAGGER LEE

They all did it: Fats Domino, Lloyd Price, Wilson Pickett, Pa Boone, Theodis Ealey, Sleepy LaBeef, Nick Cave, Downchild Blues Band, Grateful Dead, Jerry Lee Lewis, Bill Wyman, Dave Van Ronk, Bob Dylan, Mississippi John Hurt, Ma Rainey, Elvis Presley, PJ Proby, and John Fogerty. They weren't the only ones, either.
Like Mack the Knife, Stagger Lee was not someone to be admired, yet the song about him is so cool people can't help boppin' and smilin' when they hear it.
Yes, there was a Stagger Lee.
Was there a shooting in a bar? And did it involve a Stetson hat?
Well...the famous song is rooted in truth.

The story was reported in an 1895 issue of the St. Louis Globe Democrat (what, you were expecting me to quote some crap from allmusic.com? Not on THIS blog). Here's how they reported it:
"William Lyons, 25, a levee hand, was shot in the abdomen yesterday evening at 10 o'clock in the saloon of Bill Curtis, at Eleventh and Morgan Streets, by Lee Sheldon, a carriage driver. Lyons and Sheldon were friends and were talking together. Both parties, it seems, had been drinking and were feeling in exuberant spirits. The discussion drifted to politics, and an argument was started, the conclusion of which was that Lyons snatched Sheldon's hat from his head. The latter indignantly demanded its return. Lyons refused, and Sheldon withdrew his revolver and shot Lyons in the abdomen. When his victim fell to the floor Sheldon took his hat from the hand of the wounded man and coolly walked away. He was subsequently arrested and locked up at the Chestnut Street Station. Lyons was taken to the Dispensary, where his wounds were pronounced serious. Lee Sheldon is also known as 'Stag' Lee"
Yes, it's all right there. Even the nickname, "Stag" Lee.
Billy Lyons died from the gunshot wound. Stag's first trial was rousing and raucous, and featured the antics of Mr. Dryden, Stag's opium-addicted lawyer. The trial ended with a hung jury, but the second time, sans the colorful Mr. Dryden, turned out badly for 'Stag" Lee, and his sentence was 25 years. He got out early, went back to crime, pistol-whipped a thug, and was returned to state prison where he died in 1912, aged 46.
Scholars have since discovered that Stagger Lee Sheldon was actually Lee SHELTON, probably a pimp more than a gambler, who was born in Texas, on March 16, 1865. His posse was called The Stags. An early folk song about him started like this:
"Staggerlee was a good man
Everybody he did love
The pimps and whores all swore by Stag -
By the everlasting stars above..."
In 1911 Guy B Johnson published a version of the song in the Journal of American Folklore. Frank Hutchison recorded a version in 1927 and Mississippi John Hurt did one in 1928. Along the way, others made free and easy adaptations, some with fresh lyrics or a different melody.
The song kicked around until Archibald (stage name for Leon T. Gross) recorded a version in 1950. The record impressed a Korean soldier by the name of Lloyd Price. He decided to use the song in his act: "While entertaining the troops, I had put together a little play based on it. I'd have soldiers acting out the story while I sang it.".
Price recorded his version of "Stagger Lee" on the B-side of a single called "You Need Love," and disk jockeys literally flipped for it...turning the B side into a hit. It was Price who came up with the enthusiastic "Go Stagger Lee" chorus chant, and that cute doo-wop intro, setting the scene with a yellow moon and leaves tumbling down. He placed the gambling outside "in the dark," then brought the argument indoors to the bar.
When suits felt the song was too violent for "American Bandstand," Price recorded a sanitized new version with a happy ending. That version is, fortunately, pretty obscure now. Not so obscure is the home of Stag Lee Shelton (911 North 12th Street in St. Louis) or the grave of Billy Lyons at St. Peter's Cemetery. They are tourist attractions.
Lloyd Price's version presents Stagger Lee as a gambler who is pissed off at losing all his money to his cheating friend Billy ("Stagger Lee threw seven, Billy swore that he threw eight"). Other versions have made him more heroic. During the Black Panther era of the late 60's, Bobby Seale declared, "Stagolee was a bad nigger off the block and didn't take shit from nobody. Malcolm X at one time was an illegitimate hustler...So symbolically, at one time he was Stagolee...To me, Stagolee was the true grassroots."
Nick Cave's recent recording of the tale is ultra-violent and homo-erotic. He says: "The final act of brutality, where the great Stagger Lee blows the head off Billy . . . while he is committing fellatio [was] especially attractive...There's a verse to our version that goes, 'I'm the kind of cocksucker that would crawl over 50 good pussies to get to one fat boy's asshole,' which I heard on an amazing talking blues song by a guy who, in the song, introduces himself as Two-time Slim. I've always thought that was a groovy line so I just threw it in for good measure...I like the way the simple, almost naive traditional murder ballad has gradually become a vehicle that can happily accommodate the most twisted acts of deranged machismo. Just like Stag Lee himself, there seems to be no limits to how evil this song can become."
Nice guys don't get 18 versions of a song about 'em, because nice guys generally aren't prone to killing people over a hat. That's the stuff of legend, and a touch of wistful admiration. There's allure to being a "bad man," and Stag was one bad, bad cat. Hell, he not only put a hole in Billy, it went through and broke the bartender's glass! Hmm. Single bullet theory...was Stagger Lee really the lone gunman? How old IS Phil Spector??
The night was clear, and the moon was yellow. And the leaves came tumblin' down!

The Late Great FRANKIE LAINE

The motto at Frankie Laine's website: "It Ain't Over 'Til It's Over."
And it isn't, even though Frankie died on February 6th, at the age of 93. His unique stylings will continue to amaze and amuse. Time may dim his luster a bit, just as Al Jolson and "Swanee" play to a smaller crowd, but for those of us with a taste for bombast, heroics and yes, a bit of corn, we'll still be playing "Call of the Wild Goose," "Mule Train," and "Jezebel," and feel at least agnostic rather than atheist in hearing "I Believe."
Francesco LoVecchio was born on March 30, 1913, and in his lifetime 21 of his records went gold and he sold over 250 million discs. If he had remained Frank LoVecchio, none of it might have happened, or at best he would be remembered as another Italian pop singer.
But as Frankie Laine, he emerged via Mercury Records as a soulful balladeer, and some figured from his style and his name that he might be black. He sang "Shine," after all, along with "Georgia On My Mind" and "God Bless the Child." He also sang numbers that now seem like soundtracks to noir movies, notably "Satan Wears a Satin Gown."
He really defined himself by three immensely insane singles at Mercury: "Cry of the Wild Goose," "Mule Train" and "Swamp Girl," each of them as lurid and evocative as the cover of a bad paperback novel. These songs gave "Frankie Laine" an identity. He was America, the guts of the country from the bayous of Louisiana up through the parched dirt of Texas. While he would have a hit here and there with "That's My Desire" or "I Believe," and issued many romantic albums for Columbia, he was better known for belting out "Rawhide" and the story-songs for "High Noon" and "Gunfight at the OK Corral."
As ludicrous as it might be, he melded his operatic and Italian tendencies to these gritty ballads, and like Roy Orbison, was somehow able to make a theatrical run up and down the scales into something both pretty and masculine. No ordinary country singer could've or would've flourished the ending of "Gunfight at the OK Corral" the way Frankie did. He got away with it like a bandit. Even the album covers where this guy was dressing up in cowboy outfits and brandishing a gun seemed authentic rather than ridiculous.
To cap off his career, he gave an exciting, serious rendition of "Blazing Saddles," knowing full well that the lyrics made no sense and Mel Brooks was filming a comedy.
I wrote to Mr. Laine some time ago, expressing my admiration for his work, and I'm glad I did. I'm glad he responded, too. The man was still active at 90, and he had loyal fans and a loving family and a long life. It takes a very special performer to make a hit out of some of the tracks that Laine became famous for.
If you want to see him put his heart and soul into a song, watch him deliver "Lord, You Gave Me a Mountain" on David Steinberg's "Music Scene" TV show (on DVD). If you've admired Frankie Laine you probably have a lot of his CDs, and thank you for buying them. It let him know in his 70's and 80's and even 90's, that he was not forgotten, and that the bottom line was the royalty check that proved it.
He never got the respect he deserved. He covered a lot of territory, from jazz to pop to C&W and inspirational songs, and he was as effective with intimate songs as with the bombastic ones. Tony Bennett's practically The Pope these days; I wish sometime in the past decade, somebody brought Frankie Laine center stage for a worthy tribute.
I've chosen "Swamp Girl" for you, because she straddles the fragrant bog between Laine's romantic and jazz side, and his often blinding flare for the dramatic.
He was a great American artist.
SWAMP GIRL

U-NEE IS GONE

U-Nee hanged herself a week ago.
Fans of the albums she released in 2003 and 2005 were expecting something hot from their Korean pop idol in 2007. She had mirrored Christina Aguilera and other dance-pop divas who stoked libidos while studio musicians scratched up beats.
Like Aguilera, who was smart enough to drop the "skank" act before it killed her, U-Nee was having second thoughts about the way "sex goddess" simply becomes "ho" or "pop tart" or some other derogatory term.
After dutifully posing in leather and filling her tracks with the standard sexy tricks, U-Nee sent out a storm warning last year: "I'm going to come back with an improved self. I want to try shedding the sexy image I built for myself and bring a new image to my fans."
Her good intentions were destroyed by an incident that happened far away in Malaysia. That's where Altantuya Shaaribuu was murdered in October of 2006, her body blown to bits by explosives, identified only through DNA. Shaaribuu, a part-time model, was having an affair with Abdul Razak Baginda, a defense analyst. Did he kill her, did he assign a high-placed hitman, or was there a government conspiracy?
Adding insult to the fatal injury, sexy pictures of U-Nee were circulated as being secret poses of the late Altantuya. When the Malaysian woman's father declared, "That's not her...don't spoil her name," the backlash against U-Nee was like a tsunami.
Anti-U-Nee websites appeared and she was swamped with hate mail. U-Nee was already suffering from depression from her low image, the pressures of fame, and her workload in preparing her third album.
She left no note. Probably the day she died her computer was flooded with headers of hate and derision over her sexy pictures "defaming" the memory of a woman she never even knew. The trial of Altantuya's alleged murderer is scheduled to take place in 2008.
The singer who was born Heo Yoon May 3, 1981, died as U-nee, January 21, 2007.
Now you know the basics of her story.

You'd like to hear her sing?
U-Nee had a unique name but was pretty similar to every sexy female from Christina Aguilera to Mylene Farmer to Madonna, mixing techno, rap and pop, adding bonus tracks re-mixing with thumps and sound effects for the disco/dance crowd.
Her first album, "Code" has a song called "Oh Punch" that owes a bit to Britney Spears' "Hit Me Baby One More Time," while the song "Play," samples American Black phrases and "Go" is spiced by male rappers shouting "When I say Hey, You say Ho." Or something like that. On her second album, "I Want You" is a chaotic combo of rap grunts from men and upbeat sass from U-Nee. "One" opens like everyone's American Idol ballad and overflows with power pop anguish. She often imitated the phrasings of young black and Latina performers, using deliberately flat-voiced male rappers for ghetto cred.
The Illfolks choice is "Don't Cry Again," which flirts with disco, has a traditional Asian minor key melody, uses a bit of synth and a dash of rap-scratch and halfway through switches from Korean to English.
Now that's covering a lot of bases! It might reflect the fractured nature of K-Pop, which keeps turning away from traditional Asian tonalities to mimic all the latest trends coming out of America. At least "Don't Cry Again" has some of the tantalizing dabbling into sharps and flats that you expect from Eastern melody, and U-Nee doesn't try to get too ghetto in her phrasings. If you need to hear U-Nee...
DON'T CRY AGAIN is one of U-Nee's most universally accessible songs

SACRILEGE #3 : A JAMES TAYLOR PARODY

Continuing the series of "how can they make fun of our idols," here's Chris Guest skewering Sweet Baby James. "Highway Toes" was performed in a National Lampoon revue called "Lemmings," a parody of Woodstock. The cast album has been re-issued on CD.
Mr. Guest is more familiar to you from "Spinal Tap" and his work (pictured) in the folk-music satire "A Mighty Wind." He has written, directed or starred in many cult-favorite movies and is responsible for giving Jamie Lee Curtis orgasms.
Here he has some fun with the commercial brand of vulnerability exuded by the Sweet Baby's damaged-goods lyrics, nasal delivery and timidly genteel guitar playing. When it came to being the sad singer-songwriter every co-ed wanted to cuddle, James Taylor used a full arsenal of soft-pop effects. His arse gets a full booting thanks to Chris Guest, who is clearly being less than sensitive.
How could he make fun of James Taylor??

Pre-Kate Bush: Mellow MALAMET

Aside from opera sopranos, only Kate Bush became famous with a voice that hit wuthering heights. Marsha Malamet, after all, is not a household word. Marshmallow, yes. Mallomars, yes. Marsha Malamet, no.
Some 6 or 8 years B.B. (before Bush), Marsha issued her lone album "Coney Island Winter," with a suitably bitter picture of her on the inside. Somewhere too far East of Judy Collins, North of Carolyn Hester, South of Julie Budd and North by Northwest of Buffy Marie the Saint, Malamet got lost.
The album is as obscure as "The Goodbye People," the failed Milton Berle-Brenda Vaccaro Broadway play about a guy trying to open a beverage stand in Coney Island, in winter. Herb's play wasn't bad, and it's possible if Marsha looked more like Kate Bush, she would've floated a while longer, like a decorative marshmallow in hot cocoa.
Malamet later co-wrote "Love Don't Need a Reason" with Peter Allen (not that there's anything wrong with that), and she's become a yenta who'll sing that song any time anyone asks, and they do, at various gay fundraiser events.
The chosen song is nowhere near the schmaltz level of Peter Allen. It's what Kate Bush might've done if she was more into Judy Collins. Note the effectively self-conscious solo piano work and how the orchestration colors itself into the mix. It's winter. Her voice will give you a bit of a chill. And "I Don't Dare" should never be a final answer if you've got a dream. Decca thought enough to sign her, and on this blog of the forgotten, this miss's near-miss is not misbegotten.
Malamet sings I DON'T DARE Do you? Instant Download. No codes, forwarding links or ads.

BOB DILDYN RADIO THEME HOUR: VAGINA

Premiering the same day as the release of "Modern Times," the BOB DILDYN RADIO THEME HOUR offers a compilation of songs about the Vagina. Not to mention mock cut-in interviews with Leonard Cohen and Madonna.

Bob's cogent commentary on "the mighty quim" prefaces many of the selections, which include:

It's All Right It Won't Bite
Cameltoe
Pretty Purple Panties

Shave 'em Dry
My Girl's Pussy
Red River Sally
We Are the Tampons
Rotten Fish
My Vagina
Step Inside Love
I'm a Lesbian
The Pussy Cat Song

As well as Bob's own "When Dogs Run, Freak," which evidently is on his Debasement Tapes release. As John McEnroe used to say about cable radio, "You can NOT be SIRIUS!"

Re-upped for 2007:
Bob Dildyn!
Re-upped in 2011:
Bob Dildyn, via a good server who won't remove the file if it isn't downloaded every day

CAN'T STAND YA

You can put any type of crap on a turntable, and SOMEBODY will gladly lap it all up. Here's an endurance test...see how many of these tunes you can stand.
Some, like "Shaddup You Face" are love it or hate it novelties. A few, like "Sunshine Face" from a woman better known for her sexy album covers than her taste in music, are like Crackerjack...sweet and then sickening the more you have to endure it. Some may be intentionally irritating ("Fluffy") or an experiment that ends up being a terror (the ambitious "Andy the Lightbulb Eater").
As David Seville once remarked..."That's almost good."
"Catchy" or "kitschy" or just plain crummy, here are some tunes that will get your attention or cause you tension:

1. Agadoo (Black Lace)
2. Son of My Father (Chicory Tip)
3. Billy Don't Be a Hero (Paper Lace)
4. Mouldy Old Dough (Lieutenant Pigeon)
5. Lily the Pink (Scaffold)
6. Chirpy Cheep Cheep (Middle of the Road)
7. Macarena (Los Del Rio)
8. So Macho (Sinitta)
9. Orville's Song (Keith Harris)
10. Two Little Boys (Rolf Harris)
11. No One Quite Like Grandma (St. Winifred's School)
12. Mr. Blobby (Mr. Blobby)
13. Snot Rap (Kenny Everett)
14. We're Going to Spain (the Krankies)
15. Hello (Marguerita Pracatan)
16. Seven Drunken Nights (The Dubliners)
17. Cinderella Rockefella (Esther and Abi Ofarim)
18. Music Goes Round and Round (Mae Questel)
19. Fluffy (Gloria Balsam)
20. Shaddup You Face (Joe Dolce)
21. My Icelandic Man (Leoncie)
22. Where's My Love (Caroline)
23 Andy The Lightbulb Eater (Elisa Korenne)
24. Sunshine Face (Sandy Warner)

Via RS. Who put that crap on my turntable??
Now it's on MP3!

DOUG CLARK and 2 HOT NUTS tunes

The Godfather of Smut, soulful Doug Clark was active for over 45 years, offering laidback limericks, gross versions of garage band classics, and funked up versions of ribald old folk numbers like "Shove It Home" and "Ring Dang Do."
Before Blowfly or Dolemite, and before Andrew "Dice" Clay ever rapped a bad rhyme, the man from North Carolina was all over the frat house circuit with his dirty ditties and rude recitations.

Clark was more amiable than offensive, and even had a female singer along at times. Which is why I hope somebody films his life story and gives the leads to Kevin Eubanks and "Tonight Show" vocalist, percussionist Vicki Randle (an admitted lesbian, which does open up more possibilities for the chosen sexy songs).
Doug died of leukemia on September 16, 2002 (age 66).
Just as many perverts got their first peep at pretty women via Playboy, many heard their first dirty song thanks to digging out a Doug Clark album. These two tracks are pretty quaint by the standards of today's porn rappers and sexyback vocalists. Hope you find them naughty but nice, which is a pretty solid groove for having a good time.
These are instant downloads. No mega-waiting or uploaded-to-nowhere hang time. Within seconds, you'll be hearing...
SHOVE IT HOME
And RING DANG DO

All The Nuns With Guns (& Paul Simon)

Here's a G.E. Smith song with Paul Simon on backing vocals. Even most Paul Simon fans don't know about this rarity. In fact, if you listen closely, you can hardly hear him in the mix. But he's there, and that's part of the quirk on this obscure but catchy tune.
Thanks Jim Delehant (Hit Parader/rock mogul) for handing this to me one day. Many days ago.
G.E. Smith was the somewhat crazed-looking guitarist leading the "Saturday Night Live" band (1985-95). He also married Gilda Radner, worked with Dan Hartman and toured with Hall and Oates. Among his compositions; a co-write credit on the "Wayne's World" theme song.
Smith's stinging guitar is very evident on this track, but you also get to hear him sing.
Instant dowload with no hassles. NUNS WITH GUNS

SPIKE MILLIGAN

Sapristi!


A brief tribute to the clown warrior Spike. Yes, Milligna, the well known typing error. The Godfather of British comedy, he influenced everything from radio's "Round the Horne" to TV's "Monty Python's Flying Circus." The writer and leader of radio's "Goon Show," he went on to a busy solo career including TV and best-selling books.

Both manic and depressive, Spike was one of the most complex and contradictory of comedians. He was the eye of a creative hurricane, capable of surreal jokes, aching poetry, whimsical nonsense and passionate letters-to-the-editor on a variety of issues.

Here is one of his eccentric solo songs. Many more can be found on historic and hysteric Goon and Spike CDs. You know his name, now look up the download! John Lennon loved The Goons, and you might recognize some absurdist touches that later figured into John's more light-hearted numbers. Lennon even wrote a review in the New York Times for the first volume of Goon Show scripts.

Get Gooned with an INSTANT listen or download, it's SEWERS OF THE STRAND

CINDY BEAR: CUTIE OF THE CAVE SET

Frank Milano is Yogi Bear (not Daws Butler) on this old kiddie 45rpm.
Smarter than the Average Bear, Yogi realized plundering pic-a-nic baskets wasn't all the fun he could have. As this song proves, he's now into Cindy and visiting her cave.

Why did so many cartoon characters wear a tie...but no pants?
CINDYBEAR! Instand upload. No Rabidshare or Code to Write

ACTOR SUICIDES: Boyer and Sanders

Here are songs by two famous actors who each made an unsuccessful record album, and a successful suicide attempt.
In the case of romantic star Charles Boyer, when he lost his wife, he lost all interest in life.
George Sanders boned two Gabor sisters (Zsa Zsa and Magda) and (some years later) penned a suicide note beginning "Dear world, I am leaving because I am bored..." and ending: "...I am leaving you with your worries in this sweet cesspool. Good luck."
Charles Boyer talk-sings the moving and ironic "Softly as I Leave You."
Sanders, who sounds a bit like Boris Karloff, offers "I'll See You In My Dreams."
GEORGE SANDERS SINGS
CHARLES BOYER

DEAD FOLKS 2006

Here's a tribute compilation to some famous people who swooped the planet in 2006.

Some people aren't here due to the space limits in keeping the download time manageable. Or, because no song by them was handy. Besides, using "Do the Freddie" for Freddie Laker, "Casper the Friendly Ghost" for Caspar Weinberger or "It All Depends on You" for June Allyson, would hardly do 'em justice.

A few choices are admittedly esoteric. I associate Glenn Ford with "Experiment in Terror" although the line "Who called the English teacher Daddy-o" from The Coasters' "Charlie Brown" might've been better for any "Blackboard Jungle" fans. Or I could've left him out entirely and included some singer I didn't care about but would be expected to include. Here's how it ended up:

1. "In Another World" by Ruth Brown, died November 17, age 78
2. "Whisper Not" by Anita O'Day, died November 23, age 87
3. "The Men in My Little Girl's Life" by Mike Douglas, died August 11, age 81
4. "Arnold Layne" by Pink Floyd with Syd Barrett who died July 7, age 60.
5. "Wasted Days..." by Freddy Fender, died October 14, age 69.
6. "Act Naturally" by Buck Owens, died March 25, age 76.
7. "Kiss of Fire" by Georgia Gibbs, died December 9, age 87
8. "I Feel Good" by James Brown, died December 25, age 73
9. "Gonna Fly Now" by Maynard Ferguson, died August 23, age 78
10. "Theme From Mike Hammer" for Mickey Spillane, died July 17, age 88 and
Darren McGavin, died February 25, age 83.
11. "You'll Never Find Another Love..." by Lou Rawls, died January 6, age 72
12. "Nothing from Nothing" by Billy Preston, died June 6, age 59
13. "Meanest Guy That Ever Lived" written and sung by Jack Palance, died November 10, age 87
14. "Andy Griffith Show" for Don Knotts, died February 24, age 81.
15. "Munsters" theme for Al Lewis, died February 3, age 82
16. "Experiment in Terror" by Al Caiola for Glenn Ford, died August 30, age 90.
17. "Burke's Law" by Al Caiola for Aaron Spelling, died June 23, age 83
18. "Miserable" by Anna Russell, died October 18, age 94
19. "Barney Miller" for Jack DeLeon (aka "Marty" the gay klepto), died October 16, age 81.
20. "Topper" theme for Robert Sterling, died May 30, age 88.
21. "MASH theme" by The MASH for Robert Altman, died November 20, age 81.
22. "Jeffersons" theme for Mike Evans, died December 14, at 57.
23. "Puttin' On the Ritz" shouted by Peter Boyle, died December 12, age 71
24. "Town Without Pity" by Gene Pitney, died April 5, age 66.
25. "Israelites" by Desmond Dekker, died May 25, age 64
26. "My Boomerang Won't Come Back" (unaltered take) by Charlie Drake, died Dec. 24, age 81
27. "Stagger Lee" by Wilson Pickett, died January 19, age 64.
28: "Dream Baby" by The Big O, for songwriter Cindy Walker, died March 23, age 87
Bonus track: "People Who Died" by Jim Carroll is dedicated to two execs at Atlantic Records (the label that released Jim's song) Ahmet Ertegun and Arif Mardin, and to anyone famous or not who you lost this year.
An illfolks salute to Dana Reeve, Jan Murray, Muriel Spark, Floyd Patterson, Barnard Hughes, Moira Shearer, Shelley Winters, Dennis Weaver, Jack Warden, Red Buttons, Lennie Weinrib and the comic/character actor Richard Stahl.
This post dedicated to "that most sporty of spirits," Robert Sterling.
DEAD? Didn't Even Know They Were Ill...via R-Share

UPDATE: This one died from lack of interest. Can't find the back-up on this one, so it'll be a long time before it turns up again.

THE SEASONS FOLK IT UP

When that greasy doo wop stuff began to give way to protest music, Frankie and his pals made a brief pit-stop into folk-rock. They became a supersized Kingston Trio, with energetic banjos and thumpitty-drums.
Comfy pop accounted for the hit single "Silence is Golden" but mainly it's "Where Have all the Flowers Gone," "A Ballad of Our Time," "Searching Wind," etc. The real find: "New Town" written (but not recorded) by Phil Ochs. That song, and the failure of the foursome to succeed in the folk medium, puts this superstar group on the obscure pages of the illfolks blog.
FRESH LINK: Take off the tux. Strap on a Guitar

UPDATE: This file expired from lack of interest. (OK, this was before JERSEY BOYS turned upon Broadway, but don't expect a re-up any time soon.)

LET IT BE...in Chinese dialect - PAUL FREES

This blog's last but not least single for 2006 is appropriately, LET IT BE.
But in its most inappropriate form.
Paul Frees probably was used to racial stereotyping from having worked with Spike Jones, who regularly had his singers do black dialect ("You Always Hurt the One You Love"), Asian schtick ("Chinese Mule Train"), and questionable Semitism ("Tennessee Waltz."). Paul wasn't usually asked by Spike Jones to be racist but...Pillsbury made an offer.
In the 60's they sold non-nutritional powdered drink mixes. "Freckle Face" strawberry and "Chinese" cherry were among their "Funny Face" products. Paul voiced most of the characters.
And so, with Spike and Pillsbury for influences, it's no surprise that a few years later Paul saw nothing wrong with turning "Let It Be" into an R-infected Asian parody. (And he wouldn't be the last...Peter Sellers as "Sidney Wang" in "Murder by Death" for example).
My only real objection to what was considered goofy fun more than anything racist, is that all the other cuts on "Paul Frees and the Poster People" were accurate caricatures of famous stars (Karloff, Lugosi, Lorre, etc.) but he sounds nothing like the sweet, soft-spoken Warner Oland (as advertised) or even the stern and haltingly articulate Sidney Toler. Paul's "Charlie Chan" is just an excuse for clazed phlazing. Uh crazed phrasing.
But it's SO over the top it'll probably raise more smiles than middle fingers.
My appreciation of Paul's work verges on awe (he voiced Boris Badenov, Ludwig Von Drake, the Pillsbury Doughboy, etc.)...but I won't be surprised if a few of you listen to this and say "Aw...."

PAUL FREES
  RET IT BE   Instant download or listen on line. No Zinfart passwords, malware or spyware anywhere.
 

BOBBY COLE "Growing Old"

On this day, December 19th, in 1996 my friend Bobby Cole died.

"Growing Old" is the last song on his solo album, 'A Point of View.'

GROWING OLD

SACRILEGE #2: BOB DYLAN LAMPOON

"The waffle farmers got a chance to lob their pickle grenades..."
Gee! How waffle!
How does it feel, to no longer be a complete unknown...and the target of some jerks makin' fun of your hallucinogenic lyrics?
Watch out for the Yogurt People. Ketchup in your hair. Because..."17 Miles from Waukegan My Cantelope Died." That's the title of this very early Dylan parody. It's on the Harvard Lampoon's "Sheep" album (many years before the National Lampoon and their "Lemmings").
Sacrilege #2 in the continuing series. They're parodying Dylan!
What's it to ya, Moby Dick?

POTRZEBIE

Someone at the YOUDONTHAVETOVISIT blog was asking to hear "Potrzebie." There's no accounting for taste, is there? Now what idiot would have a copy of...oh. Me.
Caveat dissapointor: if you were expecting something like Soupy Sales' "Pachalafaka" or a snappy Spike Jones or Raymond Scott number, sorry, but this instrumental doesn't live up to having a Mad Magazine catch-word for a title.
Sapristi!
No, POTRZEBIE. Credit to Alfred E. Neuman and his Fershlugginer Five.
A Mad instru-mental.

Sylvia Froos & Allan Sherman

Allan Sherman you know about.
So let's talk Froos.
Sylvia was a child star in vaudeville. While Al Jolson made the first feature-length "talkie, "Baby Sylvia" starred in two short sound films released six months earlier. "The Little Princess of Song," was a star through the 30's, and in Shirley Temple's "Stand Up and Cheer".
She even had her own radio show. "Who's Your Little Who-Zis?" was a novelty hit for her and she recorded many popular singles.

Here's one of her last recordings. It's a duet with Allan Sherman on a parody of Frank Loesser's "A Bushel and a Peck." At the time, 1951, Allan was unknown. It would be a decade before he had a surprise hit via the "My Son the Folksinger" album.
This single was simultaneously a farewell to the winsomely lilting vocals of Froos and a hello to a new voice in kosher comedy. Allan died in November of 1973. Sylvia enjoyed a long, happy retirement and died in March of 2004.
If one of your eight days of Chanukah gifts isn't so hot, maybe this will make up for it?
A SATCHEL AND A SECK

Winter Wonderland - ZEVON & TRANNIES

Two of the more unusual versions of "Walkin' in a Winter Wonderland" are here for your download. Or, in the case of the parody "Walkin' Round in Women's Underwear," your downlow.
Warren Zevon will continue to amuse and amaze because his volume of work has such depth. His personality resonates too; you can listen to this and enjoy it as either nostalgic or sardonic.

If you're a guy who likes wearing women's undies don't feel bad. It beats the idiots who insist on wearing Santa hats out in public. But if you're wearing a Santa hat AND women's underwear underneath your suit, that's a little too ill even for ILLFOLKS!
Tom Lehrer says that most novelty songs get predictable after a verse or two, and this one peters out, but if "peters out" and "women's underwear" sound good to you then go....
WALKIN' ROUND IN... WOMEN'S UNDERWEAR
WARREN ZEVON'S WINTER WONDERLAND

MR. BOJANGLES : TEN VERSIONS

Nearly 40 years ago, Jerry Jeff Walker began strumming up a tune inspired by Bill "Bojangles" Robinson, the dancer/vaudevillian. A folkie at the time with country leanings, he played the song pretty straight. In the audience one night was Bobby Cole, a singer now better known as the arranger/conductor for Judy Garland.

Lightning struck. Bobby probably had the same glow George Martin got on hearing a demo of "Being for the Benefit of Mr. Kite." What possibilities! With production ideas brimming in his mind, Bobby called in all favors, got recording studio time, and after a brief release on his own Concentric label, finally got Columbia/Date to put out the single. At the same time, Walker recorded his folk-strumming version.

Bobby transformed the simple, unadorned folk ballad by adding the flavor of vaudeville and traveling shows; he used a calliope effect for the introduction, and updating lounge for the psych 60's found a woman who could play a weird brand of electric violin that wistfully tinged the tune into sunset colors. Ultimately, he added his unique vocal. The song sounds like it's from someone as weary and worn as Mr. Bojangles himself.

When Bobby's song hit the airwaves, try to imagine how stunned Top 40 audiences were; the strange arrangement, the unusual violin in there, and the wistfully haggard vocal so different from anyone else. In its way, the single was as daring as "Sgt. Pepper."

As the song climbed the charts, ATCO offered competition via Jerry's version, a simple, honest strum. Where Columbia had influence, Bobby's was the radio hit. Where Atco reigned, stations favored Jerry's version. Both stalled at the edge of the Top 40 in the summer of 1968.

Together, Cole and Walker blazed a trail followed by dozens and dozens of cover versions. People chose to follow Walker (Dylan, Nitty Gritty Dirt Band, etc.) or they emulated Bobby (Sammy Davis, George Burns, Robbie Williams).

Sadly neither man would have another hit single. At least, Walker fans got a lot more albums and Jerry Jeff is still out there.

How I met my friend Bobby Cole is a kind of "Bojangles" story. Some twenty years after the song came out, I met him in a club, not down and out, but playing the standards. Like the man in the song who asked Bojangles to dance, I asked Bobby if he'd play a song for me; "Bus 22 to Bethlehem," the flip side to "Mr. Bojangles." Bobby was surprised to hear anyone mention that song. "Stick around," Bobby said in that gruff voice, "I wanna talk to you." He and his trio had taken a break between sets and he had to get back.

I'll just say that he turned out to be one of the most unique friends I ever had. I miss him.

"One Hit Wonder" is a cruel term, but here, it applies to a strange little moment in time when lounge and jazz sensibilities (note the backbeat drums and the late arrival of the clarinet toward the end) melded with progressive rock (the influence of "Mr. Kite" seems evident) and as produced, arranged and sung by Bobby Cole, produced a gem.

The nine other versions you get include Jerry Jeff Walker's mono single, the Nitty Gritty gang, John Denver, Sammy Davis Jr., Robbie Williams, Luba Mason, Nina Simone, etc. etc. Via R-Share of course:

MR. BOJANGLES DANCE

Bus 22 to Bethlehem

Bobby Cole put so much time and energy into creating "Mister Bojangles...." he pretty much forgot about the B-side!
He quickly got a few session players to back him on "Bus 22 to Bethlehem," a Dylanesque folk-rock experiment in symbolism.
One of Bobby's massive problems involving any kind of consistent success, was his restless versatility. He enjoyed all types of music, but booking agents and record companies like to categorize their talent. Bobby wasn't jazz, folk or pop. Even though his latter years were spent on the nightclub circuit, Bobby's repertoire ranged from "A-Train" through "The Big Hurt," Leonard Cohen and Procol Harum.
Bobby's lyrics often strayed into the intellectual, while his audience was literally lush. Bobby's pals like Sinatra and Garland (oh, the stories Bobby told) knew enough not to challenge their crowds with anything too complicated. Bobby tended to challenge everyone, and he was complex enough to laugh with the sinners Saturday night, and go to church with the saints Sunday morning. Hence, this song does spring from sincerity.
As you listen to this lost '68 folk-rock number you might find some lounge-jazz qualities in Bobby at odds with the folk strumming, but the song is a meditation on conflict: "the Christians, and the Muslims exchanged frozen looks." Times have changed. Now they exchange mortar fire.
NOW BOARDING: Your download for BUS 22 to BETHLEHEM

Seasonal Songs by Raun & Koloc

Since you'll be sick of Xmas songs soon, I'm getting this pair of ill folkies in before "Jesus Christ" is uttered in disgust at holiday music overload.
Not that this is typical annoying Christmas music. Not here!
Raun MacKinnon's song is about a nun, and Bonnie Koloc's "25th of December" is more a meditation on holiday depression.
Folkies Raun and Bonnie have one thing in common, they both sang backing vocals on Steve Goodman's "Jessie's Jig" album.
Raun, raised in Philadelphia, was signed to Cameo-Parkway, known for greasy male teen vocalists and soul. On that obscure lp her bassist was Spike Lee's father Bill. Her next (and last) stop was for Kapp, where she tried to add more rock and pop (ooh, trumpets lending a religious tone to "Sister Marie"). She taught guitar, and still performs on bills with Christine Lavin.
Koloc? You might remember her sweet taffy voice extolling "Mother Country" in a series of United Airlines commercials. Sort of the vanilla Billie Holiday, Bonnie's voice has a sorrowful and vulnerable quality. Gaining attention in the 60's at Chicago's Earl of Old Town, she's amassed ten albums, briefly appearing on a major label (Epic) before returning to the ranks of individualistic singer-songwriter self-pressing CDs.
"25th of December" (from the OP 1984 "You're Gonna Love Yourself in the Morning" album which also has the infamous "Mother Country") is a good example of the slight funk most people feel when the Christmas punch bowl seems half empty rather than half full. Since her voice really is quite pretty, the needle stays in the groove for the next song on the album, "Lion Tamer." It's about some guy who can handle lions, or pussy. Bonnie is so nice, I'll bet she didn't consider the euphemism in the lyric, and considering it's nearly Christmas, I'm almost ashamed to mention it.
Instant downloads, no Rapidshare or Pop-Up Porn-Ad Referring Links...
Bonnie Koloc
Raun MacKinnon

HAVE YOU SEEN ELAINE?

Some names conjure up a famous face. It's hard not to think of Julia Louis Dreyfus' Seinfeld character when somebody mentions "Elaine."
When I listen to the old Currie sisters tune "Have You Seen Elaine," I think...well, yeah. Not quite as much as I'd like, but we've gotten pretty good glimpses...(and yes, if you click the pic her naughty bits get bigger)...

Since the answer to "Have You Heard The Curries In A While?" is probably no, here's a download.
The peroxide 'n mascara twins Cherie and Marie could eat the Olson Twins alive, and if it was on pay-per-view, I'd pay.

Instant download of "Elaine" no RS Mega hoops to jump through.

Ruthann Friedman: "WINDY" Girl

The Association didn't write "Windy." It took one woman to do what five guys couldn't. She's Bronx-born Ruthann Friedman. In '69, she got a shot at solo stardom via Reprise. The sympathetic label gave chances to other songwriters trying to become singers; Joni Mitchell, Jimmy Webb, Randy Newman and even her friend Van Dyke Parks (the guy who helped get her song to The Association). After one acoustic album, they wouldn't ink another contract for her.
Here's that first album, along with the single "Glittering Dancer" that wasn't on the original disc. Married nearly 30 years and with two children, she's alive, and, well, at least she is Inky Friedman again, a signed artist. The new album is "Hurried Life." And yes, THIS particular album probably influenced Devendra Banhart and Ruthann is a fan of Devendra's work.
Be warned, the first track is extremely annoying. But it's short. Considering that most busy reviewers tend to check the first track to see if an album's worth reviewing, Ruthann made a tactical blunder with a coy intro piece that was nothing like the rest of the album's songs.
PS, Ruthann reccomends this website which describes what the world is like, in terms of 100 people: http://users.gazinter.net/melan/Warn/Warnenu.htm
Everyone knows...where to find a RS download.

A WINK AT DEATH

Most know Wink Martindale from his almost stereotypical quizmaster work...the genial guy with the 100 watt teeth and enough electricity left over to keep his hair wired into position.
Some know him for resurrecting "Deck of Cards" and turning that venerable card trick of Christian thinking into a Top Ten hit. This was quite a feat, since the 1948 song had already lost its novelty value after performances by T. Texas Tyler, Phil Harris and others.
Only a few know "Remember Me," another of Wink's spoken-word singles. If you think the idea of organ donation is fairly new, listen to this oldie. In recording this essay on the hereafter, Wink was ahead of his time.
As "Graduate" Benjamin Braddock would say, "It's completely baked."
Here's winking at you, kid. While you're still with us.
No rapidshare. INSTANT no-code-number download here. Wink-wink. Nudge-nudge.

YUSUF THE CAT

The artist formerly known as Cat Stevens and Steven Demetre Georgiou, is now recording as Yusuf (short for Yusuf Islam). "Please Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood," he sings. Cat's "Animals" cover version here is more compelling than his new soft-rock originals.
He sings it to counter the bad publicity he received for allegedly siding with the fatwa against Salman Rushdie, as well as devoutly following a religion that has followers who devoutly engage in the mass-murder of innocent people while screaming fanatic slogans.
The hostility against "Cat Stevens" led 10,000 Maniacs (none of them maniacal suicide bombers) to remove a cover of "Peace Train" from their "In My Tribe" album. After the 9/11 attack in 2001, Yusuf performed "Peace Train" for "The Concert for New York City" in 2001, his first public performance in 20 years. He also donated a chunk of change to the September 11 Fund and declared:"I wish to express my heartfelt horror at the indiscriminate terrorist attacks committed against innocent people of the United States yesterday...no right thinking follower of Islam could possibly condone such an action..."
Now he hopes right thinking followers of Yusuf Islam will support his new album, which continues a career that began 40 years ago with the catchy "Matthew and Son" in 1966, followed by "The First Cut is the Deepest" (more of a success covered by others). After a big lull, including recovery from tuberculosis, Cat resuscitated his career in 1971 with "Wild World," "Moon Shadow" and "Morning Has Broken," establishing him as a tremulous addition to the ranks of James Taylor and Elton John. By 1977, he had tried everyone's patience with the seriously annoying "Izitso" album, and after becoming a Muslim that year, issued "Back to Earth," and dropped out of sight.
He wasn't heard from again until the Ayatollah's death decree against Salman Rushdie, which prompted Cat to yowl: "In Islam there is a line between let's say freedom and the line which is then transgressed into immorality and irresponsibility and I think as far as this writer is concerned, unfortunately, he has been irresponsible with his freedom of speech. Salman Rushdie or indeed any writer who abuses the prophet, or indeed any prophet, under Islamic law, the sentence for that is actually death."
Today he spins it this way: "At a lecture, back in 1989, I was asked a question about blasphemy according to Islamic Law, I simply repeated the legal view according to my limited knowledge of the Scriptural texts, based directly on historical commentaries of the Qur'an. The next day the newspaper headlines read, "Cat Says, Kill Rushdie." I was abhorred, but what could I do? I was a new Muslim. If you ask a Bible student to quote the legal punishment of a person who commits blasphemy in the Bible, he would be dishonest if he didn't mention Leviticus 24-16."
Yusuf now sings: "You can't bargain with the truth. 'Cause whether you're right or you're wrong, we're gonna know what you done, gonna see where you belong in the end." You can choose to view lyrics like that as comforting if you want to.
Along with other 70's solo stars such as Paul Simon, Elton John and Paul McCartney, the ex-Cat Stevens is capable of issuing innocuous albums that won't embarrass older fans but won't bring in many new ones. He's here on the illfolks page since he was once a physically ill folkie (tuberculosis), and is now trying to mount a comeback from obscurity. Check Cat's new bag of tricks here:
RAPID-CAT
UPDATE MARCH 20, 07 -- due to inactivity (ie, disinterest) the file died.
Update JULY 2008: file returns. If it expires again, it'll be terminal.
RAPID-CAT
UPDATE: May 2009. Interest in this one was so low, Rapidshare finally killed the link for having been idle for 90 days. This Cat doesn't have nine lives here! No Re-up.

SACRILEGE #1: Kate Bush Parody

The first of a series.
Oh, how can satirists dare to smash our beloved icons! Is nothing sacred?

"England My Leotard" was broadcast Nov 3, 1980 on "Not Necessarily the 9'Oclock News." Title based on her 2nd lp, music copped from "Them Heavy People," it suggested her fame was based on eccentric, wide-eyed Femlin posturing in a leotard. Why not? Thinks: "She's so nuts, I might even have a shot at her! I'll say Proust or Bronte and she might come flying towards me..."

Even Pam Stephenson, impersonating Kate, was pretty hot. Pam married Scottish comedian Billy Connolly, has three kids, and now is a hypnotist and therapist. She has a degree from the California Graduate Institute, which I think carries more weight than anything from the University of Phoenix.

Correct me in the COMMENTS section if any of the lyrics are wrong. Some of these lines don't quite make sense. Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow. Unbelievable!


I was into yin and yang and hatha yoga
Ginseng and caraway seeds and being a non-smoker
My carrot quiches were better than the bought ones
And they were thicker than two short ones
People bought my latest hits
'cause they liked my latex tits
Everyone trying hard
To get inside my leotard

Went to my hairdresser to have a hair-do (do-be-do-be-do)
He asked if I knew A La Recherche De Temps Perdus
That's how I was introduced to Colette, Cocteau and Marcel Proust
Now wholefood cookery is just a sideline [speeded up la la la's]

I went to Cairo and I read the Gnostic
Apocryphon of John in the original Coptic
Korsakoff's psychosis theories
And the Fibonacci series
Studied acupuncture and the Bible. Buy-a-bubble!
Opened the windows in my mind

'It's not your mind, it's your body they're into-ooh'
My business-manager said.
He said that I need an intellect like I need a
Hole in the-hole in the-hole in the head

Though I'm an honorary member of Mensa now
I'm going to try and keep up the pretense somehow
Will you buy my latest hits
Because you like my latex tits?
And you're all trying hard to get inside my
Leotard...leotard...leotard

Yes, the stereo version differs slightly from the actual broadcast version (which you can find on YOUTUBE). Return to the days when Kate used to sing, dance and pose in a leotard. Bulging eyes and lips, lithe movements, strange lyrics, odd voice, a bustline even a blind man could appreciate...
SACRILEGE #1: How Can they Make Fun Of...
KATE BUSH. Instant download. No mega-rabid wait.

Christina Applegate's PRIDDY MOM

Today anyone digging up Nancy Priddy's album is probably curious about a) the chick Stephen Stills punned a song about ("Pretty Girl Why" via Buffalo Springfield) or b) what sitcom tart Christina Applegate's mama looked like.
This album is Priddy obscure for a good reason. It's neither psyche, folk or even mainstream pop. It's an eccentric album veering from Lesley Gore lost in Burt Bacharach's horns ("We Could Have It All") to embarrassing faux funk ("Other Side of the River") which is straight out of Sammy Davis Jr. visits Carnaby Street.
With production influenced by the Mike Curb sound and Enoch Light, Nancy's brand of buttery corn sometimes pops. You might snack on some tracks and figure, not bad at all. Not on "Christina's World," though. That tune, which one assumes is based on the Andrew Wyeth painting of that name, has precocious/pretentious lines about "lightning bugs at sundown" and "ocean sprays and holding hands." Nancy liked the song so much that when her daughter was born, Nov 25, 1971, she named her Christina. Christina's parents split up a few years later, and Nancy raised her mostly by herself (but Stephen Stills was around some of the time). Fast forward to 2003, and Christina turned up at a charity benefit honoring her mother, a breast cancer survivor. Nancy continues to take acting roles and write songs.
This vintage album's a peculiar mix of affectations, but if you are hung up on the late 60's man (or mama), then dig the download for some folk-wonk and pseudo-psych.
There's a good reason for blogs. It's to let you hear odd stuff you are curious about, might listen to once, and never play again.

Rapid Sharing the whole Priddy good album
Update: This one timed out. Not enough interest. A CD version is now available anyway.