Groucho's Daughter Melinda Marx Wasn't Petula Clark

Groucho Marx's youngest daughter, Melinda, doesn't want to be known as Groucho's youngest daughter, Melinda.

While son Arthur wrote several books about his father (as well as other comedians) and daughter Miriam put together a collection of letters, young Melinda's been...elusive. Which beats being bitter but funny, or alcoholic and Sapphic, as her siblings turned out to be.

You'll recall, if you're a Grouchophile, that sweet Melinda turned up as a little goddess of song on her Daddy's quiz show. Proud poppa insisted that she sing, as if she was auditioning for an "Our Gang" revival that might need a new Darla. However Melinda's enthusiasm waned. As did her mother Eden's...to the point where you can see just what kind of dysfunctional family they became...



...a chagrined kid, an alky wife (stepmom Eden) and a grouchy old hubby. Listening to this A-side single, cut post-puberty (6 years after this photo), you get the idea with "East Side of Town" that Melinda Marx didn't want to be the next "Downtown" Petula Clark.

You can almost imagine her telling the sound engineer: "can I get this over with in one take?" Turning Fabian's echo chamber into a mausoleum, here's Melinda Marx singing her way out of show business...

The East Side...and Down Side of Being a Celebrity Daughter Instant Download or Listen on Line

PHIL RIZZUTO - THE GOLD RECORD "Holy Cow!"

"That huckleberry!" Phil Rizzuto said.

Meatloaf's debut album yielded a hit song for both of them, but, Phil told me, "I had no idea what he was gonna do!"

Meaning, Phil had no idea the play-by-play he'd recorded would become the double-entendre filled highlight in the epic song "Paradise by the Dashboard Light." He shook his head in amusement. "That huckleberry!"

Nothing bothered Phil. Not really. Not for very long.

He was too busy counting his blessings: beating the odds on a 5'6" shortstop making the Big Leagues, the MVP award in 1950, being friends with Yogi and Jeter and Dimaggio and all the other great players, being a broadcaster for 40 years, getting into the Hall of Fame...and most of all, his wife Cora and his children.

So what if Meatloaf used his narration that way. As it almost always did for him, whether failing a tryout for the Dodgers or getting cut by the Yankees in 1956, it worked out fine after all. I remember the day he got the Gold Record plaque. In the elevator after the little ceremony, the guileless Scooter wasn't even thinking about himself. "Meatloaf!' he said. "What IS that guy's real name?"

That guy? Marvin Aday. I spent an hour with Mr. Loaf once, and we talked a bit about Phil. Meatloaf was of course a big Rizzuto fan, but a little disappointed in his recording experience with him: "The first few times, he was just reading the lines. It was hard getting him to be Phil Rizzuto!"

Well, yeah...because the greatest thing about Phil Rizzuto was his spontaneity. He worked best being himself...wide-eyed and a little wacky, like this classic from the WPIX archives: "And he hits one in the hole. They're gonna have to hurry. They'll never get him! They got him. How do you like that? Holy cow. I changed my mind before he got there, so that doesn't count as an error..."

Phil was beloved by everyone who ever knew him or heard him or watched him play. He loved everyone, too. Some of his contemporaries would turn down autograph requests, or ask for money, but Phil would patiently sign, and he was proud of being able to put HOF (Hall of Fame) below his signature, and then add his retired number...#10.

Phil died peacefully in his sleep at the age of 90. I wish that #10 could've been added so that he lived to be 100. Two words about Phil Rizzuto. Watta guy.

Phil Rizzuto, MVP, Hall of Famer, and Gold Record winner for:

"Paradise by the Dashboard Light" Instant download, you huckleberry!

ILL-USTRATED SONGS #4: CONEY ISLAND - Herb Alpert

Summer is ending, and if it wasn't all you wanted it to be, then recall the nostalgia of bygone days at the beach...via this snazzy little instrumental by Herb Alpert.

Perhaps, after "Spanish Flea" and "Lonely Bull," Herb had finally decided to explore his Jewish roots for "Coney Island." Sadly the fad for kicky brass band antics was over, and his peppy gem was not a hit. Illustrating the song is a picture from a recent event at "Coney Island," a place that's a little different from when the horny guys from Tijuana were on the high C's.
CONEY ISLAND! Instant download, no porn ads, code words or pop-ups.

JULIENNE IRWIN sings PATSY CLINE

Julienne Irwin made it to the Top 8 of "America's Got Talent" the hard way; by simply being what she is, a 14 year-old with a fresh look and a great voice. Whether she wins or loses, makes more than one CD or none at all, she helped make the summer a little more pleasant. There was plenty of hot humid air, torrential rain, and so much of Lindsay Lohan, Britney Spears and Paris Hilton being dumb that even die-hard pervs were getting creeped out.
The summer series "America's Got Talent" is a less boring "American Idol," since it varies the way people can be annoying, and isn't restricted to singers overdosing on extra vowels just to show-ow-ow emo-oh-oh-oh-tion.
With Jerry Springer hosting, most viewers were prepared for a genial freakshow, and there were lots of laughables, from a tearfully inept Russian drama queen gymnast to a joyfully self-confident porcine Shakira impersonator. There were terrible acrobats, wince-producing novelty acts, dubious street performers and The Stepford Duttons of Branson, a gruesomely toothy family that would make Mormons approve of abortion, up to 60 years after birth.
Irwin always stood out from the rest because she had such amazing pipes for a 14 year-old, and never copped an attitude. Or as Sharon Osbourne cooed, "You are such a great role model for other girls in this country. You don't flaunt what you've got. You dress appropriately -- you're just great." Well, yes, compared to others in the Top 8, including a fat white guy who's made a big deal out of being "modest" while ripping off every black reggae singer he's ever heard, a greasy self-absorbed cruise ship singer (and shouldn't semi-pro ringers be kicked off this ostensible amateur hour?) and another teen female-nom who plays the race card (she calls herself, ah, "Butterscotch") and has fascinated the judges by making fart noises into a microphone.
Julienne Irwin has modest aspirations: "This is so silly, but I hope one day I get to sing the national anthem at an Orioles game. That would be so great."
Her take on Willie Nelson's "Crazy" is nicely updated, sans the hard edge of the worldly Patsy Cline, but with a smooth arrangement that freshens up the melody without adding too many vowel movements.
Here's "Crazy" (in retro mono, as tribute to Ms. Cline) as performed by Julienne Irwin at age 14, live in front of 12 million people. Amazing. Julienne cooks! Julienne fries!
Julienne Irwin sings "Crazy" Instand download or listen on line. No wait, porn ads or pop-ups.

SWAT MILLIGAN! BASEBALL HERO

Barry Bonds, of the S.F. (steroid-filled) Giants? He's no hero. Not like... SWAT MILLIGAN!

Swat came to semi-fame 70 years ago via "New York World" reporter Bozeman Bulger's short stories. Swat's next and last shot, was this novelty track by Ernie Sheldon. As childish as this song is, it fit in with the days when Valmy Thomas, Pumpsie Green and Enos Slaughter played ball, "Americana" was in, and goofy tunes like "Come Onna My House" and "Banana Boat" were Top 10 hits.

Just as Disney served up "Casey at the Bat" via cartoon, energetic Ernie Sheldon tried to make a novelty craze out of this fictional baseball player for the Poison Oak team, long after Bozeman Bulger was going, going, gone. Bulger was a contemporary of Damon Runyon, and ghosted "as told to" sports books, including "My 30 Years in Baseball" by John McGraw back in 1923.
Here's Ernie and his jolly gang singing "Milligan! Swat Milligan! Clobber that ball!"
Sapristi! He apparently struck out with this.
The humor here is, alas, nowhere near the level of Spike Milligan, and Ernie couldn't get Thurl Ravenscroft to goo up that basso "Clobber that ball" line, but if you thought Wyatt Earp was "brave courageous and bold" you might get a lift from this musical whiffle ball.
If it's a choice between singing dopey 50's tunes or singing the praises of steroid-pumped clods like Mark McGwire, Sammy Sosa or Bobby Bonds...I'll swing with Swat.
Listen and envision this as a Disney cartoon short, as you picture "Swat Milligan" and his antics. Now that Bonds artificially broke Hammerin' Hank's record, forget about it and listen to Ernie Sheldon -- and that bunch of background singers that were probably banned from singing along with Mitch.
SWAT MILLIGAN Download or listen on line. No wait, porn ads, pop-ups or foul balls.

ELEVEN 'Tears On My Pillow"

Some of the best songs are the simple ones. Or so it seems.
"You don't remember me. But I remember you."
"Tears on my pillow. Pain in my heart caused by you."
The subtle questions asked in the song: a) is the singer going to do something more than cry about it? ("You don't remember me..." suggests a stalker, doesn't it?)
And b) is the singer straight or gay?
Richard Barrett, who was trying to get "Little Anthony" Gourdine signed to a deal in 1958, recalls: "I had some time trying to convince (producer) George Goldner that the public would go for Anthony's high-pitched voice. What George thought was a lisp was in fact intentional vocal styling by Anthony."
Yes, Anthony intended to sound like...a childlike male hurt for the first time, a woman hurt for the umpteenth time, a simpering gay, a feisty lesbian or whatever a listener on the radio wanted the singer to be!
Is it that surprising that the other big hit version was the cover by Timi Yuro? The woman with the gender-bender name had a range between alto and alternative lifestyles. The next big cover version was from gay icon Kylie Minogue.
The song is musically androgynous, too. It's pop, it's rock, it's R&B and it's C&W. Unlike "96 Tears," there's no number of "Tears on My Pillow," and if you want to be rude, the "tears" could be symbolic of some other form of wetness, and there's nothing more humiliating than a soggy one-night stand and a dry-cleaning bill.
You get 9 versions here, plus two bonus tracks: two more songs titled "Tears on My Pillow" that use that phrase for entirely different lyrics and melodies.
ELEVEN TEARS ON MY PILLOW Tears Galore

Also this link TEARS ON MY PILLOW In case the other link's hinky

SAND RUNS OUT - Hazlewood Dies at 78

Sort of like a cross between Johnny Cash and Sonny Bono, Lee Hazlewood had a tough, almost literally flat voice and he was best when it contrasted to a similar female one. With Cher already taken, this cowpoke prodded Nancy Sinatra into stardom for them both. First he shaped Nancy from a sweet "Daddy's Daughter" performer into a painted, tainted boot-stompin' tough gal, then he began to duet with her.
Barton Lee Hazlewood, who died last Saturday, wrote "These Boots are Made for Walkin'" and the neatly nasty follow-up, "How Does That Grab Ya Darlin'?" He hit the charts with her on "Jackson" and "Summer Wine," and they made several albums including the fairly recent "Nancy and Lee 3" which failed to get a UK or USA release, even though it had some excellent tracks amid some corn and a few clinkers. Nancy sounds particularly good and Lee's a formidable octave lower. A sample of how good it could get is below; "She Won't."
Like Jimmy Webb, Lee Hazlewood could write both solid rock and soggy pop (remember Nancy's "Sugar Town"?)...but also like Webb, the Okie rarely got attention on his own solo CDs.
He knew he was dying when he put the finishing touches on "Cake or Death" the title a clue that this would be both sweet and sour, a sometimes cute often caustic musical brew of coffee, Bovril and saki. His voice was pretty strong, though not on "Boots," which does have lounge-cool brass, a twangy-guitar (he did work with Duane Eddy) and gives you the original, more masculine melody line. The lyrics are the same (including that great bit of poetic illiteracy, "you keep lyin' when you oughta be truthin').
My first choice for a salute goes back to the Cowboy Lee and Lady Nancy days, when their unrequited sexual tension was hottest (he was married) and he was moving past Ol' Blue Eyes as the main mentor and influence in her life.
"Sand," is really just a truckstop one-nighter, but producer-genius Lee uses courtly dress-up (catch the word "thee"?), Doors-type pseudo clever "fire" analogies, and shoves Beatles backward-tape psychedelia into the middle to take the concept of froggy guy and frosty princess to new depths and heights simultaneously. Or as we dudes say; "Sweet!"
Nancy: "Oh sir, my fire is burning high. If it should stop, sir, I would die. The shooting star has crossed my land. A wandering man."
Lee: "She whispered SAND...young woman shared her fire with me. Now warms herself with memory. I was a stranger in her land. A wanderin' man. She called me Sand."
Get it? Sand ran out on her. Sand bagged her. So many more of these, which you couldn't think of if he was named Grits.
SAND Instant download or listen on line.
SHE WON'T (from the last Nancy and Lee album, released only in Australia) Instant download or listen on line.

CHRISTOPHER LEE ... SINGS

Prepare yourself.
You will not forget the four minutes you are about to download.
All I can really add is that I've met Christopher Lee, I've spoken to Christopher Lee, and the moment he fixes his eyes on you and speaks to you...IT IS SCARY!
Well, intimidating might be a better word.
He carries himself with dignity and eschews modesty when it comes to debunking his status as a mere movie monster. No, he rightfully will list all his achievements as a linguist, a swordsman, a connoisseur, and, yes, a remarkable hybrid; the singer who can emote (or, the actor who can sing). Restless for any challenge, at 84 he not only chose to make a solo album, he chose to do what even Sinatra, Bennett or Shatner wouldn't think of doing...songs in a variety of styles from opera to show tune to Christmas carol.
Here's Mr. Lee assuming the character of a cowboy and singing "High Noon" (along with a brief sample clip of the Sinatra & Anka classic "My Way" and some errant dialogue).
The CD version is a British pressing only, at the moment, BUT it's available in mp3 downloads from iTunes and eMusic. If you like this sample, buy some tracks. I did. It will encourage a sequel (he has plans, folks) and it may inspire more celebrity singing albums in general (conservative record execs usually check sales figures of similar projects before proceeding). I hope this publicity gets some sales for you, Mr. Lee! I'll go hide under a blanket...
...while discerning seekers of the unusual download...
CHRISTOPHER LEE!

SACRILEGE #7 : NEIL YOUNG PARODY

Thank you, Tony Scheuren for NOT tossing a "wine/whine" pun into this thing.
His song from the 70's National Lampoon "Goodbye Pop" lp skewers the ego behind Neil Young's notion of "A Man Needs a Maid."
It references "After the Goldrush" (with the "patches on my jeans" back cover) and loads up on recognition humor ("Neil" longs to live in "North Ontario. It's safer than Alabama. It's safer than Ohio"). If you don't know "Old Man" or "Cowgirl in the Sand" some lines here won't raise a smile.

Mr. Young had a bit of a crooked grin through segments of the Demme concert film "Heart of Gold," but it's doubtful he was all that amused when this parody came out. (Which is why the photo's been altered so he can flip the bird!) What sacrilege, to take a poke at a sensitive singer-songwriter, and even do an elbow in the musical rib over CSN&Y's anthem about four dead students at Kent State.
Scheuren is not just "a comic." He began his career as a musician, and at 19 sang lead vocals with "Chamaeleon Church," a group that did release an album on MGM in 1968. (Kyle Garrahan, also chronicled on this blog, was a member.) He also toured with Ultimate Spinach and is on "Ultimate Spinch III." For most, his most vivid work remains with the Lampoon, both their discs and radio show.
And remember, unless you live in some still hippie-esque canyon, or behind the gates of a Beverly Hills or Malibu home, you'll agree with the faux Neil here, that...
SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA BRINGS ME DOWN Si, muchachos, es verdad.

14 JACK THE RIPPER SONGS + Soundtracks

Heavy metal was what Jack the Ripper wielded, and it's no surprise that the favorite bad guy for metal bands is a real murderer, not make-believe monster.
Ripper fans include: Judas Priest, Motorhead, Chemical Romance, The Horrors, Screaming Lord Sutch, The White Stripes, AFI, Buckethead, Iced Earth and One Way Street. Let's not forget guys like Link Wray, who recorded his own "Jack the Ripper" instrumental rumble, though he might have imagined a surfer Jack ripping the waves.

Unlike Dracula, or even Dr. Jeckyll's Hyde, the Ripper existed. He made a hobby out of killing prostitutes. A "better watch out for Dracula" song would only be mysterious and spooky, and altogether ooky for hip thrashers. Instead, with the Ripper, they can be more urgent with screaming guitars that match a knife's glint, and rumbling minor key melodies that evoke dark alleys. The misogynist aspect can't be overlooked, since these guys attack the vocals with such enthusiasm. Included here is "Whores in da House" by Jack the Ripper, just to document that rappers, of course, find this guy a role model, too.
There is no certainty about how many victims there were (between 5 and 19), if the Ripper was male or female, if several people were involved, why the killings stopped, or how many (if any) of the notes signed "Jack the Ripper" were hoaxes. Almost all evidence and every theory can be believed or ripped to pieces. Eyewitnesses differ on specifics (the cloaked Ripper in a top hat is folklore too). Movies paint the ladies as young and beautiful when they were in fact middle-aged dregs, some toothless, who sold themselves cheap in a slum area. Making the victims more sexually attractive only further fogs up the motives in the case. Check the Net and you'll find entire websites about Jack, including "fun" sites that list the likely victims and suspects.
It's all speculation and nothing more, with plenty of theories to prop up or debunk a particular suspect or motive. We'll have to wait for the next book, and the author's appearance with Regis & Ripa (no, the photo is just an illfoax hoax...Ripa never actually posed with Rip Torn).
There are 14 Jack the Ripper songs here...as well as seven of the most evocative tracks from two ripper movies, "Jack the Ripper" (score by Pete Rugolo, 1959) and "Study in Scarlet." 21 download tracks. That's rippin' a lot of Rippers....
Let her Rip

TAMMY FAYE : SEXUAL SURRENDER!

What a scene last week with Tammy Faye interviewed by Larry King. Deathly face, slow speech, glazed eyes...and Tammy Faye wasn't in good shape either.
The soggy saga of Tammy Faye Bakker Messner has been blogged and flogged all over the Net. Some, like Harry Shearer, say "her only claim to fame/notoriety was to have been the marital partner of a convicted crooked televangelist," which denies her fame and notoriety as a campy TV personality who rode the tabloid roller-coaster like a pro, and was never more up than when she was down.
In death, her most vocal admirers were Christians who forgave her any sins caused by her husband, and the gay community that admired her drag-queen make-up and her lack of judgemental accusations against them, which made her very different from other religious fundamentalists.
Cynics might say Tammy's tolerance started with her hubby's alleged bi-sexuality, and that she learned from Anita Bryant what kind of physical and financial assaults can happen to a woman when gays act up.
In a country that wants entertainment more than anything else, she was good to the last drop, turning her fatal erosion into a media event. You can't really fake this. Just as Britney is trailer trash and Paris is a slut, Tammy proved to the world that above all else, she BELIEVED. She went to her grave telling the world that she was really going to heaven. America bought her act. Why not?
When you're 65 pounds (and 55 of them make-up), and you've spent ten years dealing with cancer, and your doctors have now pretty much told you it's not IF but WHEN, it takes a lot of faith to think that God is merciful, God exists, and a living hell is just a prelude to eternal heaven.
So in the end, Tammy Faye Bakker was the Lucille Ball of televangelists. Both were good businesswomen, funny, unique, and possessed of a deep instinct for survival. Both married assholes first, and parasites second. In Tammy's case, a goofy-faced sex fiend who over-sold timeshares, followed by a fame-clutching ex-con who did time for bankruptcy fraud.
Did Jim Bakker and a friend drug and rape Jessica Hahn? Did Tammy know how he amassed the money for their three luxury homes, fancy cars and other extravagances? Did she think owning gold faucets was Christian humility or the deserved spoils of running a religious theme-park? Was she closer to the schemes of Falwell and Swaggart than the sincerity of Billy Graham? Did she think appearing with porn hedgehog Ron Jeremy on a "reality" show was something Jesus would do?
Oh, it's too heavy for THIS blog, so instead, let's have a stupid dirty song!
The "Tammy Faye" you are about to hear has taken one of the best Cheap Trick songs and turned it into Jesus porn, complete with orgasms. If you want to hear some of the campy religious tunes from Tammy and Jim Bakker, check the link on the left for the musicformaniacs blog. For the parody "SURRENDER," that starts out sincere and turns sleazy, click the link below, and may God have mercy on your hole.
"Mother told me, yes she told me, pray to Jesus Christ!
I didn't listen, was not a Christian, I led a sinful life...suddenly I heard a voice from somewhere up on high...oh just swallow it..."
SURRENDER, instant download or listen on line. No porn ads or wait time.

ILL-USTRATED SONGS#3 : READERS WIVES Dave Edmunds

"You like your girlfriends big or small
you like your women short or tall
just cruise on down to the corner stand
give your money to the man!
A mugger carries a couple of knives -
All I wanna do is look at READERS WIVES."



Plink plank
Wink wank.
The pictures enlarge, if you really wanna see these readers wives.
DAVE EDMUNDS Buy his Greatest Hits, after hearing this song about some of the Greatest Tits

A DOZEN "HIGHWAYMAN" ROBBERY SONGS

The image of "The Highwayman" is romantic, largely because of the Alfred Noyes poem (most sucessfully mated to music by Phil Ochs). In reality, most highwaymen were just robbing hoods. Anyone riding by was "fair game" to them, and that led to the formation of the Horse Patrol in 1805.
The year before, William Brennan was hanged. The Irish highwayman is still one of the most famous of his profession, a romantic figure before the arrival of his rivals Jesse James in America, or Ned Kelly in Australia.
Brennan may have been one of the few to practice "sharity," since the earliest broadside ballads about him (circa the 1820's) paint him as a hero, a rebel targeting British nobility and the RIAA (Royal Idiots and Aristocrats). "He robbed from the rich, and gave it to the poor," is a line from "Brennan on the Moor."
When the actual Brennan died, it was without much fanfare or notoriety...or a catchy melody. As the song about him grew in popularity over the years, few could actually state where he was born (probably Kilmurry) or why he became an outlaw. Some said that he joined the army where he rebelled against its discipline and deserted. Others said he was already a crook and stole a watch from a foppish officer and had to flee after the crime was discovered.
It's up to the Clancy Brothers to give an authentic, and brief version of "Brennan on the Moor." Other versions go on for stanza after stanza, filled with his exploits.

Also here, in two versions (one male, one female) is "The Newry Highwayman." The other highwaymen are not named, but their personalities, exploits and attitudes are vividly brought to musical life by: Blue Cheer, the Brotherhood of Man and Tinsley Ellis.
The choice here for a musical setting of the Noyes poem is not the least bit noisy; it's Loreena McKennitt. She's not the only blonde on the bill, though. You also get "The Highwayman" as sung and described by Stevie Nicks. And yes, that odd song about reincarnation, whether it's a criminal or a damn builder, is on this download too, "The Highwayman" as written by Jimmy Webb and performed by The Highwaymen (led by Johnny Cash).
One of the most famous phrases in all of crime belongs to the highwayman: "Stand and Deliver!" That bold demand yields two very different songs, one from Wishbone Ash and the other from Adam Ant.
It would've been an unlucky 13 to include "Dennis Moore," the Monty Python song about the man who stole from the rich...but largely confined himself to pilfering lupins. "Lupins??"
Stand & Deliver! 12 Highwayman Songs Folder

ILL-USTRATED SONGS#2 : Ruby, Dont Take...

As sick and lame (literally as well as lyrically) as the Kenny Rogers version was, it only gets worse via Walter Brennan. Who do you feel sorrier for; this wrinkled anti-semitic old geezer, or the girl who is told to sit around watching him dry-rot?
Brennan's raspy, expressive voice evokes instant sympathy for him the first time you hear it. Second time, the sympathy's all for Ruby, consarn it! Just look at the picture!


RUBY DON'T TAKE YOUR LOVE TO TOWN Dust Walter Brennan off instead. Instant download or listen on line

JERRY HADLEY sings PROCOL'S "Grand Hotel"

You'd think singing on a faux Procol Harum CD would be the low point in Jerry Hadley's life, but on July 10th, amid divorce, depression and bankruptcy, America's best known tenor, age 55, put an air rifle to his head. He lingered on life support but after nearly a week, on July 16th, the plug was pulled. He died two days later.
Hadley was a rising star through the 1980's, handsome and energetic. Leonard Bernstein chose him for the 1989 revival of "Candide." For two decades he was sought after for both opera and CDs of light classics that also included Broadway hits.
In 1995 he joined Tom Jones, ex-Curved Air Darryl Way and several others for "A Long Goodbye: Symphonic Music of Procol Harum." Wikipedia considers Hadley's contribution to be the album's highlight, "a stirring vocal interpretation of the Procol Harum classic, Grand Hotel."
It gives a pretty good idea of why this tenor was in demand. His other notable foray into territory rock fans might know, was his starring role in Paul McCartney's "Liverpool Oratorio."
Hadley made what turned out to be his final Metropolitan Opera appearance in "Great Gatsby" in 2002 and won a Grammy award for "Jenufa" in 2004, but by then, there were traces of strain in his formerly fluid delivery, and the always finnicky opera crowd began to find fault with him. He last appeared on stage in an Australian production of "Madama Butterfly" in May of 2007.
Most of Hadley's friends knew he was depressed for quite a while, even if he was still working. They did their best to offer optimism and hope. A warning sign was his arrest in New York City last year on a DWI charge. Perhaps the anti-depression medication made him pull a "Del Shannon" and grab that rifle at his upstate New York home. One of his friends wrote, "I don’t know what led him to this inescapable despair, to this sense that things were so very bad that they could never, ever get better. I guess I never will know."
JERRY HADLEY sings GRAND HOTEL No wait or porn ads. Download or listen on line.

GEORGE MELLY In the Electric Chair

Just last year he was working with Van Morrison, resisting cancer treatment, continuing to tour, and vowing to have a damn good time to the end. He did. George Melly died July 5th, at 80.
Your download sample of this eccentric retro-jazz singer is "Send Me to the Electric Chair," a murderer's hip howl:
"Judge yo' honor, hear my plea...I don't want no sympathy, I slit my woman's throat! I found her with another man, I warned her 'bout it before. I took a knife and...the rest you oughta know! Oh judge, judge, good Mister Judge...wanna pay a visit to the devil down below..."
Melly was way too lively to really want to off himself before his time...in fact, it took a sly Illfolks photo-collage to actually stick him into an electric chair.
The barrelhouse melody sounds a bit like "Low Down Alligator" mixed with "Oh You Engineer" while the singing owes something to the first person who popularized it, Bessie Smith.
Born in Liverpool, Melly vowed to bring American classic jazz to new audiences, and sang with Mike Mulligan's Magnolia Jazz Band in the 50's, and John Chilton's Feetwarmers from the 70's onward. Aside from music, he wrote the comic strip "Flook," was an art critic and put together a three-volume autobiography.
The talented Melly was also adept at bisexual sex and was a cheerful exhibitionist. At parties he might strip naked and twist his bulky body from man to imitation woman, and then on all fours, a bulldog!
Last year he recorded his final album, "The Ultimate Melly" with Van Morrison guesting. Last month he made his final stage performances fronting the Digby Fairweather Band.
One of the last of the bohemians, in later years his coy garb and eye patch making him look like a butt pirate, Melly could discuss art with an intellectual, or sing dirty songs to a bar maid. His obit in Britain's "The Telegraph" mentioned Melly was survived by his second wife and had gone from homosexual to "bisexual on his way to being a mighty camp heterosexual." Typical of his flamboyance was his appearance at a 1985 exhibit, "Salute to British Surrealism." The paintings weren't the show: "The entire art world had come from London for the opening and there was George wandering around naked."
Here's an electrifying performance from the Unchained Melly Instant download or listen on line. No waiting, code numbers or porn ads.

UNCHAINED MELODY x 25 incl. Peter Sellers

He almost made it to 100.
Hy Zaret, lyricist for "Unchained Melody" (music by Alex North) was born Hyman Zaritsky on August 21, 1907. He died on July 2, 2007.
Here's 28 versions of Hy's famous song, including a banned one.
Yes, the Goon Show-styled cover from Peter Sellers was considered sacrilege when it was first recorded, but, Sapristi! - here it is. (There are several more obscure covers of the song in this download, so consider the famous ones just throw-ins. This blog IS basically to promote lesser known music! Not to mention lesser known songwriters like the low-profile Mr. Zaret)
When producers asked for a title song to help sell their forgettable film, Zaret wasn't interested. He was painting his house, and the shmearing was taking up a lot of time. Besides, what rhymes with "unchained?"
Allowed to write a generic love song, Hy hacked out some trite lines ("I need your love. I need your love. God-speed your love") and more triteness ("Lonely rivers flow to the sea, to the sea. To the open arms of the sea") and even more triteness ("Lonely rivers sigh wait for me, wait for me. I'll be coming home, wait for me"). Well, these are song lyrics, folks, not poetry.
Now what should the title be? "Wait for Me" or "I Need Your Love?" Nah. North had written a melody for the film "Unchained" so it stayed that way: "Unchained Melody."

Todd Duncan sang it in the film, but the 1955 hit versions were by Al Hibbler (US) and Jimmy Young (UK) and later Roy Hamilton and June Valli. The song became a reliable standard but it took exactly ten years for it to reach "hit song" greatness, thanks to the Righteous Brothers cover (produced by arranger/gun enthusiast Phil Spector).
The song finally became a movie hit when it was used in the film "Ghost," the soundtrack for a scene that effectively visualized the lyric's yearnings. Simon Cowell (yes, the wiseguy in the tiny t-shirt) produced a hit version of the song for the team of Robson and Jerome in 1995, exactly 40 years after Hibbler first hit the charts with it. In 2002 the song was again a hit via British "Idol" contestant Gareth Gates.
And here? Here you get Shayne Ward, Dobby Dobson, Ann & Nancy Wilson (huh? they covered it??), Matt Monro, the late Boots Randolph, U2, Pitney, Orbison, and a host of others.
The song is a perfect example of how a great melody can float and enhance very simple lyrics. Zaret deserves credit for mating his imagery ("lonely rivers flow to the sea") to the sea change of North's key change. And there probably isn't an amateur alive who hasn't tried to croon that lush opening line: "Oh, my love, my darling, I've hungered for your touch!" I think Joni Mitchell once did it in a Chinese cafe.
If you want to survey more of Zaret's lyrics, try "Dedicated To You," "There I Go," "So Long For a While (theme for tv's "Your Hit Parade") and the immortal "One Meat Ball." Rock fans will consider Zaret's hy-lights to be a World War Two song "The Partisan" (covered by Leonard Cohen) and "Why Does the Sun Shine," covered in 1994 by They Might Be Giants.
Yes, that's Hy and his wife Shirley superimposed on the original sheet music, which features a shot of the pre-Perry Mason Barbara Hale, who is still with us, and one of the nicest ladies in show biz. Hail Hale, goodbye Hy, and let's unchain the download...
A FULL RS DOWNLOAD OF 25 UNCHAINED MELODIES

THE LATE BOOTS RANDOLPH - cacklin' sax

Homer Randolph III, of Paducah, Kentucky, grew up to be "Boots Randolph," Nashville's most respected sax player. His brother gave him the "Boots" nickname, so as not to confuse him with his father, Homer II. Boots backed Brenda Lee, Elvis Presley and Roy Orbison, and got his big break when a song he wrote tickled Jethro Burns (of Homer & Jethro).
The tune was "Yakety Sax," inspired by the manic Coasters' novelty hit "Yakety Yak." The Coasters often had a showy highlight sax solo and Boots figured to make a whole song out of one. Ironically, when first recorded via Homer & Jethro's RCA label, the song went nowhere. It was a re-recording for Orbison-friendly Monument Records in 1963 that kicked Boots up to solo fame.

He went on to open his own Nashville nightclub (1977-1994), tour 100 or 200 times a year, make many albums, and see Benny Hill adopt "Yakety Sax" for those crazed scenes involving heavy slapstick with bra-and-panty-clad girls (as you've already noticed on this page, you sly dog).
Boots appreciated Hill's use of the tune and aside from the Boots-Hill connection making a killing for him, he admitted, "'Yakety Sax' will be my trademark. I'll hang my hat on it. It's kept me alive. Every sax player in the world has tried to play it. Some are good, some are awful."

It probably gave many a sax player a headache...and Boots himself died of a cerebral hemorrhage on July 3rd. He was 80, and from the heady way he blew, it's remarkable he didn't succumb 20 or 30 years earlier. His wife of 59 years, Dee Randolph, survives him, as do two children, four grandchildren and four great-grandchildren.
Randolph recorded many "straight" albums and singles but would sometimes try for a virtuoso comic tune that might rival "Yakety Sax," and that's what you'll find in the download below. You all know "Yakety Sax," but maybe not "Cacklin' Sax," a pretty corny but cute little novelty. Randolph probably didn't die with his boots on, but you can be sure that a fragment from "Yakety Sax" was on the radio in explaining the enduring legacy of this Nashville great.
Don't be chicken: Try CACKLIN' SAX instant download or listen on line.

KAHIMI KARIE - SEX KITTEN

The breathy-sexy stylings of past mistresses French Claudine Longet and Brazilian Astrud Gilberto have been inhaled, and now exhaled by Asian cutie Kahimi Karie.
First, check out "I Am a Kitten" the download single offered below. If you find it mew-sick, then go no further. If her French purrs and final "meow" makes you juicier than sushi (or "raw like sashimi") then proceed to "Nunki," a full album of her precocious whispers and mewmurs that might form the soundtrack to a very peculiar evening of sex and/or eating.
Unlike the obvious "I Am a Kitten," recorded in France and full of the influence of European friends, the full album "Nunki" has varied pleasures and a much more Asian tone.
There's a whisper in your ear called "Yubitsugi," the sugary meditation "I'm in the Rain," the guitar pluck and sound-effect plinks of "All is Splashing Now," and "Taiyo To Tsuki" which includes odd click noises that suggests the lady has emerged from the beaded curtain in an exotic geisha house and...she'll be plucking a few more bills from your wallet very soon.
The expert Ms. Karie (born Mari Hiki, March 15, 1968) has been practicing her Shibuya-kei for over a decade now, and became a superstar in Japan via "Huming ga kikoeru," the theme song for the anime "Chibimarukochan." Like Astrud Gilberto, Kahimi was an amateur vocalist until coerced by her friends to turn pro. The ex-photographer found that singing softly and whispering lyric lines created an intimacy and effect that louder, better-trained singers couldn't match. While Karie has recorded experimental Asian music and jazz in Japan, she's also performed with many European musicians and as you'd expect from "I am a Kitten," lives in Paris, land of Bardot.
Kahimi the Sex Kitten "I Am a Kitten" song Instant download, No porn ads or wait time.
Karie Album NUNKI via RS, complete.

Paul Simon's Lost Alienated Cereal song

We know Paul McCartney mumbled "Scrambled Eggs" before he arrived at "Yesterday."
Well...Paul Simon had similar breakfast problems, singing:
"Something tells me things have changed since I've been gone.
My bowl of Rice Krispies ain't what it used to be!"
His lady friend isn't what she used to be, either:
"Your eyes are filled with icicles, your touch is bitter cold.
"And I know I have been on the road too long..."
What lyrics are these?
Lyrics that didn't make it.
The melody lingered on, but Paul changed his dark lines about cold cereal and colder girlfriends into a hallucinatory report on happenings "At the Zoo."
That's when Garfunkel decided it was worth joining in. Here on this demo, Paul's on his own.
Hear what happens when you're so alienated, your bowl of Rice Krispies gives you the silent treatment.
Snap, Crackle and... DOWNLOAD (OR LISTEN ON LINE)

FRISBEE TURNS 50: FLASH & THE PAN

No flash in the pan, the pan-shaped Frisbee was born 50 years ago when the Wham-O company bought a toy called the "Pluto Platter" from inventor Walter Morrison.
Yes, in 1957 after they poo-poo'd "Platter" and re-named the glider after the plates flung for sport at the Frisbie Pie Company, the toy really took off.
You can fling a vinyl copy of the first "Flash and the Pan" album, too. Flying Frisbees decorated the cover of the auspicious Aussie debut album, which yielded a demi-hit with "Where To, St. Peter."
A strange alloy of 60's rock and 80's synth and disco, the band offered Dylanesque lyrics robo-recited as much as sung, atop keyboard dominated music. The choice track is "Lady Killer," with its obscure but mordant lyrics, tasteful synth, near-disco percussion (no wonder Grace Jones was a fan) and in this case even some cheesy Bee-Gee-esque backing vocals.
Intended as a one-off (hence the jokey name), nobody expected much from this odd outgrowth of The Easybeats, but the guys kept tossing out quirky vinyl, just as Walter Morrison flew the "Whirl-o-Way," the "Flyin' Saucer" and "The Pluto Platter" in the sixteen years before Wham-O made him rich by manufacturing the "Frisbee."
Flash and the Pan made six sardonic and strange albums before disappearing into the oblivion they expected after the first one. More like a boomerang than a flung frisbee, their albums all came back on CD. Vanda and Young's stuff might not amuse their Easybeats or AC-DC fans, but if you're a slightly strange music devotee, listening to the Flashes might brighten up your pan.
LADY KILLER...watch it, watch it... Instant download, no porn ads or wait time.

Sacrilege #6: JOAN BAEZ "Pull The Triggers, Nixxers."

Here's Joan protesting in 1965 (James Baldwin with the barefoot Baez) and in 2005 (re. the execution of "reformed" ex-crip Tookie Williams). But in 1972 the National Lampoon protested her, via parody.
Oh, the sacrilege!
How could they fug with such a well-meaning folkie?
First thing they had to do was avoid using the inflammatory title "Pull the Triggers, Niggers." They didn't need no stinkin' Sharpton to tell 'em not to be that rude. The Lampoon's "Radio Dinner" song was punningly if not cunningly titled "Pull the Tregroes." But the N-word was sung on that black vinyl of black humor.
Written by Tony "Going too Far" Hendra, and performed by a Baez soundalike named Diana Reed, the song references George Jackson. In 1970 Jackson and two other inmates killed a prison guard. As one of the "Soledad Brothers" he wrote a few books and joined rivals Eldridge Cleaver and Black Panther Huey Newton as a pet of white liberals, the kind who condoned violence as long as it was "just across the bay."
Liberals with the same perceived Baez bias against law enforcement probably admired Jackson's brother, who later in 1970 stormed into a Marin County courtroom and seized Judge Harold Haley as a hostage. Haley's face was blown off during the getaway, and Jackson was killed as well.
In 1971, after receiving a gun smuggled to him by a well-meaning white guy, George Jackson shot prison guard Jere Graham in the head, execution-style, exclaiming, "Let's see if this works." Two more guards as well as two white prisoners bled to death before Jackson was gunned down and the prison riot brought under control.
While it was actually Joan's ex-boyfriend Bob Dylan who came out of protest-song retirement to release a single called "George Jackson," the Lampoon gang mocked Baez instead.
The mock Joan sings: "Just because I can't be there doesn't mean I don't care. So next time, Brother, off a pig for me." The chorus: "Pull the triggers, Niggers, we're with you all the way, just across the bay."
Later in the song Joan is crucified for being sanctimonious ("I'm the world's Madonna...I'm needed from Belfast to Bangladesh"). She confesses to trying to right "grievous wrongs" by writing "tedious songs." All these years later, Joan Baez is still singing her heart out, and sometimes wearing it on her sleeve.
Pull the trigger on this download.

I LOVE YOU ALICE B. TOKLAS

The famous "Summer of Love" was FORTY YEARS AGO. Those who fondly remember it through an acid haze, remember all the girls looking a lot like Leigh Taylor-Young.
Leigh was the hippie-dippie princess of "I Love You Alice B. Toklas," in a movie that arrived a year later suggesting to an uptight Peter Sellers that all you need is to drop out, make love...and eat marijuana brownies.
It was a sweet, naive, uplifting movie at the time, and part of its charm was the silly psych theme song, which was more Captain Crunch than Sgt. Pepper. It's still very sweet.
The comparison of Leigh Taylor-Young then and now is not really depressing at all. Not if you compare it to pictures of Peter Sellers then and now.
THE LEAVES OF GRASS sing I LOVE YOU ALICE B. TOKLAS Instant download or listen on line. No porn ads or wait time.

ANCIENT ASIAN POP: Wooly Bully & Wong

Ancient Asian pop music!
Here are two examples of the joys to be found in the exotica bin of your local Chinatown thrift shop.
Rita Chao? She was like French ye-ye or American go-go.
You'll recognize one phrase here: "Wooly Bully."
The needle stays in the groove for the next track, Rita's take on the Herman's Hermits classic, "I'm Into Something Good."
They could be Chao main hits, but the tasty songstress probably had many more.



Wong Shiau Chuen issued over a dozen albums in her "Golden Voice of..." series.
I bought all I could find years ago, because she DOES have a golden voice.
She sounds like something off the soundtrack to "MASH," or a scene from a bad re-make of "Charlie Chan" as #1 son visits a Chinatown shop looking for his aging pop while stereotypical Asian pop plays in the background. You get a typical sing-song melody that is all sharps and flats, mated to clip-clop chopstick percussion and some silly twanging from The Stylers, a back-up group no threat to The Ventures. Above it all, Wong's sweet voice shimmers oh so gently.

Pass the tea; no need for sympathy, since these ladies were stars then, and when you hear them, stars again.
CHAO Instant Download or listen on line
WONG SONG Instant Download or listen on line.

The World of SUSAN WONG

"Just a Little Bossa Nova" shows that the World of Susan Wong has expanded.
Previous albums were catalogs of mainstream movie themes, jazz standards and harmless pop ("Desperado" or "Killing Me Softly").
Let's say "Eva Cassidy, East."
On this 2005 album, the safe and tasteful singer rocks gently with the expected beats ("Girl from Ipanema" and a slightly more exotic take on "Beyond the Sea"), and tries an interesting twist by adding bongo and maracas to John Lennon's "Imagine." You don't have to imagine that exotic Wong song, or the rest of this hard to find album. Just download via RS.

That righteous album Of Wong Bossa Nova
Update: This one timed out from lack of interest. "Won't somebody sing one of them somebody done somebody Wong wrong songs..."

J POP: UTADA HIKARU and KYOKO FUKADA

Don't call her Utada (wasn't that a song in "Lion King?") Call her "Hikki." Her fans, do. You'll be a fan too, once you download "Ultra Blue," Hikki's 2006 album. It compiles the hit singles she made in the four years since her last full-length release. Stand-outs include "Dareka no nagai ga kanau koro" from the soundtrack to "Casshern" and "Passion," which was on the soundtrack to "Kingdom Heart II."
Though Hikki's album has several songs with English titles (Blue, Colors, Wings, Be My Last, and Passion) none are sung in English (although "Keep Trying" does use those two words surrounded by Japanese lyrics). As you'd expect from JPop, a predictable melody takes odd minor-key turns in its execution. There's little intrusion of beats or electronic noises, and Hikki doesn't test her limited range by holding notes dramatically. Another pick here, "Making Love," is more a pop song (suggesting a wafer slice of Madonna circa the 80's) than a soundtrack for the act itself.

Don't worry, don't worry, don't worry...Kyoko Fukada isn't going to alarm you. Neither will I, so don't worry about any puns about her last name. Nothing here matches Yoko Ono at her wildest, although this singer-film actress can get a bit quirky. She seems to have had an adverse reaction to David Rose's 'Holiday for Strings.' Echoes of that fast-paced melody and its lounge-style orchestration turn up from time to time on tracks of her album "Universe."
The opening song "Kimi no Hitomi ni Koishiteru" sets the pace with cute, quickly sung lyrics. The backing shifts from Henry Mancini and Buddy Rich to Badfinger or Abba on "Swimming" (no, not sung in English) and "Shitsumon Ga Aruno." "American Shorthair" goes the bossa nova route with a prowling bass line. When you reach the last track, "People," you'll enjoy a sweet anthem with nice chord changes, as Kyoko wanders into territory that wouldn't be out of place for Petula Clark or a slightly saki-high Olivia Newton-John.
WHO COULD FUKADA THAN KYOKO?
FOR YOU UTADA BLUE

ILL-USTRATED SONGS #1: I'VE GOT A CRUSH ON YOU

Download Dinah Washington or listen on line.

THAT'S HOT, BITCH SLUT PARIS HILTON

"I'll grab you
by the hair...
and choke you
with your underwear,
you bitch!"

"That's hot!"

Mix Paris Hilton saying her catch-phrase...
a rude song by indie band Hotbox...
and a timely remark about her return to jail....


and you've got the latest original ILLFOLKS MASH.

(And click the image if you want
a closer look at her thong).

Bitch Slut Paris Hilton. Instant download!

PARIS AND NICOLE: BORING!

If Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie had talent, they would've recorded BORING instead of being the poster girls for it. The anorexic thing. Check. The bad amateur porn. Check. Smirking into the camera while doing drugs. Check. Flaunting wealth and stupidity and getting in trouble with the law. Check, check, and double-check.
"Boring" is a track from one of the best new sister acts around, The Pierces. There were four girls in the family, but only two made the move from Alabama to take on the music industry. Their first album arrived in 2000. They've paid a lot of dues gettin' through. If they don't make it with their new album, the scene will truly be "Boring."
"Marijuana...cocaine...heroin...BORING! Nothing thrills us anymore..."
But they didn't mention the illfolks blog.
Listen to BORING or download it

KYLE - LOST RIVAL TO BILLY JOEL

When Billy Joel signed his first solo deal, he had competition.
There was another promising male singer-songwriter on Artie Ripp's "Family Productions" (a division of Paramount Records). Billy released "Cold Spring Harbor" while Kyle (shortened from William Kyle Eidson II) offered "Times That Try a Man's Soul." For some, Kyle's earthy rock seemed more promising than Joel's Long Island pop.
Guitarist Don Evans played on both these 1971 albums...that's how even Billy and Kyle were.
A big difference between Kyle and Billy's albums: Kyle's was properly mastered at the right speed! (The flaw was finally rectified for Billy when Columbia re-issued "Cold Spring Harbor). But in the end, both the chipmunk-y Billy Joel and rootsy Kyle debut albums both failed, in part due to Paramount's indifferent parent company Gulf + Western.
Billboard, on May 22, 1971, declared that Kyle ("a new discovery from the West Coast") was a "winner." The mag praised the "well written and performed" album. The same issue also had the same complilment for the debut album of another Illfolks fave, "Gun Hill Road," pronouncing this debut "a winner" as well.

Most performers never get any kind of deal and say "some day..."
On your sample song from the album, Kyle sings: "Some day's late and yesterday's right on time." If he's still singing, he's singing that line out of years of experience.
Sticking to the single name "Kyle," the singer-songwriter would get two more chances: "KYLE" (released by MGM in 1973, featuring "Stoney Road" and "She Brings Sunshine") and "KYLE" (released by ABC-Dunhill in 1974, and featuring "Rescue Me" and "I'll Be Back Again.") Both were more pop than country-rock, which one might expect from producers Bobby Hart and then John "At the Hop" Madara. Despite the three different record labels, all were "Family Productions," the name of Artie Ripp's management company.
UPDATE

The original post below gave Kyle's real name as "Kyle Garrahan," due to what seemed like a well-researched reference on the Internet. Ahem. Hmmm. Wasn't the case. Thanks to the poster who mentioned the esteemed Joel Whitburn, and the news that a Kyle single nearly made the Top 100 back in 1973, "She Brings Sunshine." Additionally, I've researched music publishing records, and found that Layne Music, on December 16, 1971, registered one of Kyle's songs, "Ain't No Use in Loving You," as "w & m Kyle, pseud, of William Kyle Eidson II." So forget Kyle Garrahan as being THIS guy, or Kyle Minogue.
KYLE, instant download

ILLFOLKS MASHES SIFAKAS & KEANE

The mournful strains of Tom Chaplin (Keane's lead singer) had me thinking about the sifaka, who also wails what could be a cry for help or just a mating call. I thought it might be interesting to add sifakas and other lemurs to Keane's best loved song.
The idea wasn't to be funny or disrespectful, it was just an experiment in sound.
"Sifaka" is pronounced with a "sh' and without the "a" as: "SHI-FOCK" (especially by William Hung). Madagascar natives gave the creature its name based on one of the animal's shouts.
All the percussive accents on "Everybody Changes" are real animal calls. Aye aye! (Yes, the sound of the exotic aye-aye is in there, too.)
If you download just ONE song today...this really shouldn't be it.
EVERYBODY CHANGES INTO LEMURS Instant Download or Listen on Line.

MAY 29th: GARY BROOKER TURNS 62

On this day, at Hackney Hospital, 230 Homerton High Street, a whiter shade of pale emerged into the world. The Brookers named him Gary. A few decades later, he was known for a smash hit song that began, "We skipped the light fandango..." and after four decades, well, that's still what he's known for.

But Gary Brooker has done much more.

He's written the music(lyrics by Keith Reid) to some of the greatest R&B, Blues and Classical rock songs ever recorded, ranging from the crunching "Simple Sister" to the exotic "Conquistador" to the ambitious "Grand Hotel." He's been welcomed into Ringo Starr's All-Star Band and Bill Wyman's "Poor Boys," played on Eric Clapton albums and sung "Limelight" with the Alan Parsons Project. He's issued four solo albums (the first produced by George Martin). He's also been in movies from Madonna's "Evita" to the George Harrison Tribute (singing "Old Brown Shoe"). He began his career as lead singer of The Paramounts and is, of course, the enduring voice of Procol Harum.


Procol's next single after their "A Whiter Shade of Pale" debut, was "Homburg." While it didn't became a worldwide hit, it has fascinating lyrics (Gary once declared the song was about anti-semitism) and a typically melancholy yet heroic melody. Here's a version of it as performed live in Hamburg in 2003.
HOMBURG in HAMBURG 2003
And here's a full Procol Harum concert from HELL, Norway!
Live
Procol Concert

ROSTROPOVICH , A CELLIST WITH PLUCK

He didn't just play the cello. Mstislav Rostropovich crusaded for human rights, was a supporter of Soviet-era dissidents, and lived to play his soaring music at the crumbling Berlin Wall. It was a moment of profound musical and political history.
The maestro (who earned praise as a conductor as well as a cellist) lived in Paris, but when his intestinal cancer was beyond hope of a cure, he was allowed to return home to Russia. And if you've given up hope and are about to die, Russia's the place for it.
On February 6th, the musician was visited in the hospital by Vladimir Putin, who never quite made it to the bedside of Alexander Litvinenko. And, unusual for anyone getting a Putin visit, Rostropovich actually improved enough to publicly mark his 80th birthday on March 27th.
"I feel myself the happiest man in the world," he told his admirers. "I will be even more happy if this evening will be pleasant for you." He died a month later, April 27th, 2007.
While I probably have more albums by Jacqueline Du Pre and Ofra Harnoy (the latter due to horny album covers) "Slava" (as his friends called him) was, by pretty much unanimous decree, the heir to Pablo Casals. If you heard his cello on a particular piece of music, it could make you weep. And if you had his cello on a particular piece of your foot, it could make you cry out loud.
Bach's cello suites were divided into five or six parts (uh, sort of like tracks on an album) and might include a bouree (you'll remember the term from your Jethro Tull albums) or a prelude (you'll remember the term from having taken 'ludes). Your sample is the gigue from Cello Suite #5 In C Minor.
This is just the Illfolks way of saying, "We'll miss you, Slava."
GIGUE Instant Download or Listen on Line.

THE COCKROACH THAT ATE CINCINNATI

By request posted in the comments (of the butt song compilation!) here's the classic bug-a-boo novelty by Rose and the Arrangements. Since Jerry Springer was once the mayor of Cincinnati, he's in charge of trying to save the town. In other words, Ill Folks didn't have a lotta time to ambitiously Photoshop a roach chomping the Fifth Third Bank Building like it was a Snickers bar.
Please, Roach, don't go crawling over to West 6th street...spare the ZaZou Grill & Pub!
The Cockroach That Ate Cincinnati

19 BUTT SONGS

Paul Simon: "Write a song about the moon."
(Yes, click the photo and it gets BIGGER).
If you're behind on tushy tunes, then download this, and you'll be rear-ended with all kinds of spanking hot hits. It's ass good ass it gets.
The earliest number here is "The Biggest Aspidistra in the World," which was considered quite naughty 70 years ago, even when done by "Our Gracie" Fields. Also vintage, is "Everybody Loves My Fanny" by little Benny Bell, who also wrote many a freilach. In fact, he was so well known for klezmer-type music that he had to give up the smut. His Orthodox Jewish audience strongly disapproved when they asked for Benny Bell tunes at the local store and saw some risque titles! Yes, that includes his Dr. Demento classic "Shaving Cream."
As always, in the interest of broadening your musical education, all styles of music are included here. There's country, prog-rock, techno-disco and of course some rude rap via 2 Live Crew, Sir Mix-A-Lot, the Lords of Acid, and the appropriately named Juvenile. Pick your favorite ass stuff, and flush the rest.
1. Fat Bottomed Girls (pro version)
2. Fat Bottomed Girls (American Idol version)
3. Thong Song (female remix)
4. Thong Song (beautifully mashed with "Billie Jean")
5. Please Don't Wear That Thong (novelty)
6. I Like Big Butts
7. I Like Small Butts (novelty)
8. Spank My Booty
9. Back That Ass Up
10. Face Down Ass Up
11. Shake That Ass, Bitch
12. Put Your Ass In the Air (techno-disco)
13. Girl You Stank, Wash Your Ass
14. She's Got a Butt Bigger... (country)
15. Rectum of Edmund Fitzgerald (Lightfoot parody)
16. Everybody Wants My Fanny (novelty)
17. Bertha Butt Boogie (novelty)
18. Fuckin' In the Butt (country)
19. The Biggest Aspidistra In the World
Assuming You Want To... 19 BUTT SONGS

Harry Chapin Parody: CATS IN THE KETTLE

Harry Chapin wrote good songs. Chinese food is safe 'n tasty. Cats are great.

So why do a parody about 'em? Oh, why not. Manic Larry Baker's "Cats in the Kettle" is short and sweet (and sour). A little tasteless, a little un-PC, but it doesn't really harm Harry, cats, or the reputation of Chinese kitchens.

With novelty songs, often taped off the radio or just tossed on P2P sites, the credit gets lost, or worse, ends up tagged as Weird Al Yankovic or Anonymous. The song was written by "Manic Larry Baker," and apparently performed by Aaron Wilburn. 

YOUR TAKE-OUT ORDER. Instant download. No code words or porn ads.

BATMAN MEDLEY

HOLY BAT-MEDLEY! AN ILLFOLKS 6-MINUTE MONTAGE

During the brief, but (CRASH, POW) frantic "Batmania" craze, cash-in novelty tunes drove fans batty.
Bearing in mind that a novelty tune can lose it's novelty even halfway through, here's an Ill folks montage that gives you a smooth sampling of: Adam West's overly bouncy "Miranda," a bit of Burgess "The Penguin" Meredith in a musical narration about his nemesis, and then Jan and Dean who washed up onto shore for "The Joker is Wild." It segues into the real Joker in a bit of dialogue from the show.
This bops and echoes into Cesar Romero seriously giving a "Thought for Today."
Holy Attention Deficit Disorder! See if you can last the six minutes! Not "seven minutes." You know what Irving Wallace figured was a much better way of spending seven minutes.
Batty Ill folks! Instant download or listen on line. Bat-fan montage!

MARLENE DIETRICH BLOWIN' FOR BOB DYLAN

Look at the pix (most every photo on the blog will enlarge and open in a new window if you click it) and see the similarities between the icons. I con only imagine what Bob's reaction was, when the first of the three Marlenas (Jakob counted up all of them) sang his song. Here, plucked from the blind eye of an indifferent past, converted from the original vinyl by ILLFOLKS, is the forgotten moment that melded woman and man, German and Jew, movie star and rock star. Why don't more people know about this version? The answer, my friend...

BLOWIN' IN DIE VIND No porn ads. No code games. Instant download or listen on line.

ZOLA DIES...another flattened Platter

Halle Berry played her in a movie. But you didn't see it, did you? You also don't remember her singing any hits for The Platters. And admit it, up till this moment you had no idea who Zola Taylor is or was.
Sadder than Zola's obscure death last week is the slim number of tunes where you can hear her sing lead. On most of the greatest hits The Platters recorded, you might not even realize they were a quintet and not a quartet, and a female was among them. "Smoke Gets In Your Eyes," "Only You," "The Great Pretender," "Magic Touch" and "Twilight Time" all featured a male lead. "He's Mine," offered below, was one of the very few rockin' numbers with Zola singing lead, and...no...with a Miss, the Platters didn't have a hit.
The song's a good example of Zola's capabilities, and if she'd been in a different group, and had different material, her death may have been bigger news.
If you think she sounds a bit like an energetic Frankie Lymon, then you might as well see the 1998 movie "Why Do Fools Fall In Love" in which three women (including Halle as Zola) claim to have married him and deserve his estate. Obviously Zola was one of the women who failed to impress a judge with her claim.
With Zola gone, only one member of The Platters survives.
ZOLA He's MINE No porn ads. No code games. Instant download or listen on line.

FAREWELL to Nova Scotia, Already!

You get TWELVE versions of "Farewell to Nova Scotia." That's a long goodbye!
The singer mentions three brothers are already dead but, it's off to war, singing... "Farewell to Nova Scotia, you sea-bound coast! Let your mountains dark and dreary be!"
And it leaves you wondering...
When was Nova Scotia at war? Did they have a Lox vs Salmon battle with Israel? Did they cross the sea to fight, uh, Old Scotia?
As usual with many folk songs on this continent, the origins are actually to be found in the United Kingdom. The original poem, "The Soldier's Adieu" dates from 1808, and was written by Scotland's Robert Tannahill. In part:

I grieve to leave my comrades dear,
I mourn to leave my native shore,
To leave my aged parents here,
And the bonnie lass whom I adore....

The trumpet calls to War's alarms,
The rattling drum forbids my stay;
Ah! Nancy, bless thy soldier's arms,
For ere morn I will be far away.

Adieu! dear Scotland's sea-beat coast!
Ye misty vales and mountains blue!
When on the heaving ocean tost,
I'll cast a wishful look to you.

Apparently when Canada took part in World War I, this old folk song was re-written by some Scottish immigrants now going off to join the Allies in Europe. Or, with the fishing industry quite dangerous, Nova Scotia fishermen simply adapted the song as a heroic ballad that applied to anyone shoving off on a leaky boat.
In 1933 folklorist Dr. Helen Creighton collected it, and placed it in an anthology, but as "The Nova Scotia Song" it languished until the folk boom of the late 50's. By the 60's, when war protesters tended to flea to Canada rather than fight, Catherine McKinnon's version became a standard. (Aye, women's liberation...she sings in the first person and war's now an equal opportunity!) It's been recorded dozens of times since, elevating the dutiful Canadian sailor to legendary status.
Your download has the Irish Rovers, Stomping Tom, the Wicked Tinkers and other gobs, salts and worthies, but some unexpected versions, like the lilting dirge from the grand Rita McNeil, and an alarming version by a ghostly 13 year-old girl who sounds like she didn't survive the Wreck of the Hesperus.

As far as war songs go, this is one of the few that balances patriotism with fear, and a willingness to fight with a sense of dread. While the opening line mentions birds are singing on every tree, the singer realizes "there's no rest for me." He leaves behind the ominous site of mountains, and "grieves to leave" parents, friends and a lover. The odds of living aren't that great: "I had three brothers, and they're at rest. Their arms are folded on their chests." But this "poor simple sailor" has no choice but to be brave and wonder if it's all worth it; "Will you ever heave a sigh and a wish for me?"
The music is based on "Good Night and Joy Be With Ye" which appeared in the old book "Gow's Repository of the Dance Music of Scotland." That might explain why the tune doesn't quite match the grim lyrics. Most singers create a lively, optimistic jig of a hazardous mission.
Nova Scotia is a great tourist town and anyone visiting is not going to be saying "Farewell" without having heard somebody singing this song in a pub, tavern, or on the Bay of Fundy.
12 Times! FAREWELL TO NOVA SCOTIA, ALREADY!
UPDATE: this one died due to lack of interest. So...what more futile an idea could there be than re-up? Especially with Rapidshare? Up again, July 2008. If it dies, that'll be it. Farewell!
NEW:
12 Times! FAREWELL TO NOVA SCOTIA, RE-UPPED to a better and more patient service