Tuesday, April 29, 2008

TIME for TINA LOUISE and LINDA THORSON



How much is Tina Louise worth?
If you know eBay, or local record stores, you know that "movie star sings" albums from Lizabeth Scott, Rhonda Fleming, Goldie Hawn and others rarely reach $20.Goofier and scarcer items, like Anthony Quinn and Jack Webb lps don't generate $50.
Yet..."Time for Tina" topped out at $971 on eBay!
The album is even on CD, in stereo.
Ah...but that's the clue. "Real" collectors don't want CD stereo or mp3. The seller's vinyl was "deep groove mono," and there were six bidders at the $500 mark before a final few snipered it up to nearly $1000. Oooh "deep groove mono" from an obscure label known for classical music! The album was bought NOT for Tina Louise, but either to complete an "I own everything the label did" collection or to add to a "mmm, deep groove mono" pile. The album's condition had to be "minty." A reflection, perhaps, of the buyer. Another seller, seeing the hoopla, instantly tossed a vinyl stereo version on eBay thinking he'd cash in. Nope, he was as lost as the castaways on Gilligan's Island.
Two bonus tracks have been added...the two songs from an actress who popped onto the scene just a few years after "Gilligan's Island" left the air. It's Linda Thorson, who hoped to have a second career as a pop singer...after realizing that replacing Diana Rigg on "The Avengers" was not getting her rave reviews as an actress. You'll hear, here along with Tina, "Tara King" singing "Here I Am" and "Bad Time for Loving Me."

TINA AND TARA

SONG OF WHITE HAIRS


Is she growling and moaning because she's found her first white pubic hair?
Is she telling a waiter she's found white hairs in her soup?
All I can tell you for sure, is that you're listening to a p'ansori, a Korean form of folk chant. The intent could be anything from telling a story to delivering a shamanist rant...you really have to know a little Korean to be sure. I know a little Korean, but she runs a bakery and was born in the U.S.A. and knows more about Springsteen than p'ansori.

Our singer, Yoojin Chung? Just as Yoko Ono conquered avant garde audiences in Greenwich Village, this singer was able to drop some jaws when she opened hers. She was a hit attraction across the river from Greenwich Village at the Brooklyn Academy of Music's Next Wave Festival. One critic noted her "sounds from deep in the chest are seasoned with high-pitched wails..." and that she "emits what might be described as Korean soul music."
I think that writer emitted a really bad pun with "Korean soul music," but rather than mash that guy, let's stash "Song of the White Hairs" here for your downloading. It's from her album "The Art of Cosmic Voice." And if you really don't know, the celebs in the photo are Carroll Baker, Emmylou Harris, Steve Martin and Whitey Ford.

Your introduction to: Yoojin Chung.

MINDY McCREADY Out of Jail, Back in News


Congrats to Mindy, sprung from jail and now enjoying Spring. Let's not be too cynical and say she's gone from the frying pain into the fire...just because she's been accused as Roger Clemens' mistress, and nobody knows about her new "download only" album. Perhaps all the publicity (and current denials) of bedding Roger at just 15 and carrying on a ten-year relationship, will get her music back on C&W radio.

McCready's new album is a "download only," and indie. Momentum will be slow. She'll see pennies in royalties since the percentage an artist gets via mp3 file is even worse than it was in the vinyl era. Without a major label's publicist or booking agent, she won't get decent gigs or hear her stuff on the radio, or have it shopped to the folks who use music on TV soundtracks.

She also gets nothing from the download here, but at least only one is being offered. The choice was tough; while "I've Got a Feeling" is catchy, and "For a Good Time Call" is typical of Mindy's minxy side, the download is her ballad "Fine Art of Holding a Woman."

Why? Because it's a deceptive song. First you wonder if it's got a melody. Then you realize Mindy is a damn good singer to find it and breathe life into it. Unlike those "American Idol" types who think rattling their uvulas shows talent, Mindy demonstrates the real skills; smoothly hugging the minor key melody, using emotion over volume, and having the intuition to phrase a line and make it seem more than it is.

If you missed some of the drama in Mindy's life over the past few years, here's a brief timeline of what led up to her doing time:


August 5, 2004, arrested for faking a prescription to buy OxyContin; fined $4,000, sentenced to three years probation.
May 6, 2005, arrested for driving with a suspended license and DUI. She would've been better off if she was jailed because...
May 8, 2005, her ex-boyfriend allegedly broke into her house, and was charged with attempted murder and aggravated burglary.
July 22, 2005, found passed out from an intentional overdose of drugs washed down with alcohol. The attempted suicide was due to the strain of being charged with identity theft, "unlawful imprisonment" and fraud in connection with a murky incident in Arizona the week before. Also, she found out she was pregnant with her violent ex-boyfriend's child.
August 26, 2005, she was arrested for violating probation and visiting Tennessee without permission.
September 23, 2005, amid court proceedings, and trying to handle the problem of her pregnancy and meeting with her ex-boyfriend, she nearly overdosed on antidepressants.
July 19, 2006, she beat the DUI charge but was found guilty of driving with a suspended license. She responded to all of this by releasing a single, "Black and Blue," but there was no major label to take it on.
July 21, 2007, now arguing with her own mother, she's charged with battery on the woman, and resisting arrest. Free on bail, she's caught at an airport in Nashville for violating the terms of probation.
September 14, 2007 she's sentenced to jail.
September 19, 2007, Mindy is chronicled on the illfolks blog with a sample song.
December 30, 2007, she's released from jail.
March 4, 2008, Mindy releases "All for You," via download only, on Amazon.com. It consists mostly of older hits re-done fresh in the studio, but includes some new tracks, too.
April 28, 2008, the New York Daily News reports: "Roger Clemens carried on a decade-long affair with country star Mindy McCready, a romance that began when McCready was a 15-year-old aspiring singer performing in a karaoke bar and Clemens was a 28-year-old Red Sox ace and married father of two..." a charge a Clemens spokesman instantly denied.
April 29, 2008, Mindy becomes one of the very few to be profiled a second time on the illfolks blog.


Mindy McCready is as good a country-crossover singer as you'll find, from Crystal Gayle to Sara Evans and back. With the right material and the right breaks, Mindy just might stage a comeback, or at least be able to settle down and make a decent living in Branson with a few weeks on the road here and there.

We all download so much that we hear very little. In the days of radio, we might not realize a song was great until we heard it a few times and really got the melody and became familiar with the lyrics. If it doesn't hold you firmly the first time, give this one a second chance.

Mindy McCready The Fine Art of Holding a Woman.

FUNNY SONGWRITER KILLS OTERI'S FATHER


Richard Fagan, the guy who wrote George H.W. Bush's campaign theme song ("Americana," first recorded by Moe Bandy) is a murderer. He killed Cheri Oteri's father, Tom. (You know Cheri from her role as an irritating cheerleader alongside Will Ferrell in a series of SNL sketches.) [Update: April 15, 2011. If a murderer is someone who takes another's life deliberately, then Richard is not a murderer. Just a killer. See the full update below.]

Saturday night (April 26th) ended violently when Gaetano Thomas Oteri got into an argument with Fagan. Oteri co-owned ofmusic.com and managed Richard Fagan's career. They were also roommates.

61 year-old Richard Fagan was liquored up that night and he slashed Oteri's wrist. Police didn't know of this until after they arrested Fagan for DUI and checked his home.

Fagan, who came to Nashville in 1988, tended to write loopy songs for redneck comedians, as well as novelty tracks for major C&W stars. He also could knock off more traditional fare, and his list includes "Be My Baby Tonight" (John Michael Montgomery), "Why Can't We All Just get a Longneck" (Hank Williams Jr.) and "The Good Lord Loves You" (Neil Diamond). "Around Here" was recorded by George Jones, "She's Tough" by Chris LeDoux, "Crime of the Century" by Shania Twain, and "All Over But the Shouting” for Shenandoah.

Fagan grew up in Philadelphia, and it was there that he tried songwriting, helped along by the man who became his manager - Tom Oteri. Together they produced demos and sent them out, and together they ended up in Nashville as partners.

Fagan's publicity release, probably written by the late Mr. Oteri, notes Fagan's "father died when he was 3, and he was raised in the housing projects of South Philadelphia. His mother cleaned homes and offices for a living while her boy ran wild in the streets." Fagan recalled of his teen years, “I had grown up playing early rock ‘n’ roll in South Philly. But by the 1980s, pop had changed so drastically. I was starting to get away from it when new-wave and punk came in. By the time rap came along, the whole landscape had changed. So when I came to Nashville, I thought, ‘Country music is closer to what I grew up with, early rock ‘n’ roll.’ So I think I had good reason to be confident..."

The funny Fagan wrote the “Universal Adjective Song” in 1990 for Pinkard & Bowden, and a bunch of items for Cledus T. Judd, including a lightweight snicker-ode to "Mindy McCready." He co-wrote "“Put the Seat Back Down” for Kacey Jones as well as the obvious "I Miss My Man (but my aim's gettin' better)."
The Philly fool schooled himself well on how to write like a redneck.

His uptempo novelty tune "Sold," was a #1 for John Michael Montgomery. It's about a motormouth moron using a Grundy County auction to babble a "bid" at a pretty girl. Punchline: "We still love to laugh about the way we met that day!" Right, and it's just about as funny and entertaining as a slit wrist.
The tune he wrote for Pinkard and Bowden is better, but the version you'll hear below is pointlessly censored with beeps. And that's f--ked up: "The universal adjective is f--kin' up my life."
The parody song "Mindy McCready" is really just drooling, not fooling, and the Kacey Jones feminist kick in the nuts has these lines: "I miss my man, but my aim's gettin' better. He turned into a pig and left me for a big ol' sow...If I'd a shot him when I first met him, I'd be outta jail by now!" Next stanza, she just missed the guy with...a Ginsu knife.
"Overnight Male," your typically obvious C&W pun-song, was a honky tonk hit for George Strait. "Let me be your mailman and I'll always come through. There's no denyin' come rain or shine I'll deliver my love to you. I do things by the letter, you can put your stamp on me. 'Cause there ain't nobody better for a special delivery." Very clever. Except the songwriter went postal.

Morbid curiosity would have you wondering, "Well, what kind of funny songwriter could a guy be, who turns on his partner and slashes him with a knife on a drunken night?" To quote Poe: "What demon is like alcohol?"

It doesn't say much for songwriter royalties if this guy had to live with his partner and share a place to stay. Now, Fagan's going to be a guest of the state.


OVERNIGHT MALE
SOLD
KACEY JONES
PINKARD & BOWDEN
JUDD: Mindy Mcready

UPDATE:

(Apr 15, 2011). I just noticed Richard's "fuck you" comment, which led me to wonder, "well, what the fuck is he talking about?" Did he explain WHY he ain't no murderer? Nope, he di-ent. He could've directed everyone to an updated news article where he was ultimately exonerated. So...let's do it for him.

At the time this piece was written, the Fagan-Otero affair was a fairly obscure news story pretty much only of local interest. It was picked up here, because this blog so often reports on oddball novelty songs and obscure singers and songwriters. And, it also would serve to underline the fact that getting drunk is a fucking stupid thing to do, whether you get behind the wheel of a car, or just get into an argument.

When the case finally went before a judge, Fagan was able to convince him that Oteri's murder was in fact just a drunken accident, and that he hadn't aimed the weapon at Oteri's heart or inflected the fatal wound in a way aimed to kill.

It's easy to understand Richard's anger in being called a murderer (as news reports had it at the time...Oteri was...MURDERED...) when perhaps the word is just "killer," or, if George Carlin was around to invent a word, "accidental inflicter of mortality." But yeah, even a drunk driver who kills someone resents being called "killer," as it implies intent...and no remorse.

Below, the story Richard could've forwarded us to, but hell, he was angry and just wanted to offer "the old two-word suggestion," so it's understandable that he didn't feel like adding a link. Here's a link he could've sent:

http://blog.gactv.com/blog/2010/01/11/songwriter-richard-fagan-rebounds-from-friends-tragic-death/

Here's how it opens:

When songwriter Richard Fagan performs Wednesday evening at Nashville’s legendary Bluebird CafĂ©, the evening will be wrapped in personal symbolism. An installment in the Bluebird’s annual series of benefits for Alive Hospice, this particular show is dedicated to the late Tom Oteri, a former Alive Hospice volunteer who was Richard’s publisher.

Tom’s April 2008 death, in the aftermath of a fight with Richard, forced Rich — best known for writing John Michael Montgomery’s “Be My Baby Tonight” and “Sold (The Grundy County Auction Incident)” — to confront his addiction to alcohol and his perpetual irresponsibility. Wednesday’s performance, with Rob Crosby and “Three Wooden Crosses” songwriter Doug Johnson, marks the first time Richard has performed at the venue since completing rehab, and he’ll no doubt be feeling Tom’s spirit.

Richard and Tom shared a house and had been business partners for 32 years, so when Tom died — apparently, it seemed at the time — by Richard’s hand, it shocked Nashville’s music community. Tom was being treated for a broken rib with fentanyl, an opiate that can create breathing issues. He’d gone through a long stretch of depression, and Richard — unused to seeing his associate in that state of mind — wasn’t dealing with it well. He got high April 26, 2008, on tequila and antidepressants, then got in a fight with Tom that turned physical. In the process, he slashed Tom’s wrist with a knife. They both went into immediate shock over what had happened.

“He basically sat down cross-legged, Indian-style,” Richard says in the home they previously shared. Blood “was pouring very badly. It wasn’t pulsing like an artery. But he said, ‘Give me the phone, get me so-and-so’s number and get the [hell] outta here.’”

When Richard did that, he got arrested for drunk driving. Instead of calling an attorney, Rich dialed friend Joe Collins and asked him to look in on Tom. Richard got bailed out, but as he was on his way home, the bondsman was told to return to the precinct. An officer asked Richard about the altercation with Tom. Rich told the story as accurately as he could, and as soon as he finished, the detective leaned across the desk.

“Your friend’s dead,” the officer said. “Murder one.”

Amazingly, Tom’s children — Tom Jr. and Cheri Oteri, a former “Saturday Night Live” cast member — and Bridgette Fox, their mutual publishing associate, were supportive of Richard, convinced the entire fiasco was unintentional. Richard was held on reckless homicide charges, and the Oteris pleaded with the court and with Richard’s attorney to get help for their late father’s friend.

Richard’s addiction had been an undercurrent of their relationship ever since he and Tom first met in Philadelphia in the mid 1970s. Rich showed up for a meeting two hours late — and drunk — and knocked over three beer cans and a terrarium.

“I like the act so far,” Tom quipped. “If he can sing, we’re taking him with us.”

* * * *

Later in the article:

After that fatal night in 2008, a judge agreed with Richard’s attorney and the Oteris that Richard needed help. He was enrolled at Discovery Place in Burns, Tenn., and began his journey back.

He went through an enormous amount of pain, recognizing his inexorable connection to his friend’s death.

“I was crying, ‘It should’ve been me. It should’ve been me,’” Richard recalls.

* * * *

And so the correction is duly made here. At the time it was written, the fact was simply that Fagan had killed Oteri, and not what punishment, if any, he'd get. The point too, was "what demon is like alcohol." Without alcohol, the incident would not have happened.

Best of luck to Richard Fagan, who does have a lot of friends rooting for him. His plight these days includes how difficult it is for anyone to make money from writing funny country novelty songs. Or, come to think of it, any songs at all.

Saturday, April 19, 2008

BRIGITTE BARDOT VS SICK FUCKS


The major religions were formed when people actually thought the Earth was flat. They were formed when people thought angels lived in the clouds and the devil presided in the ground below. The major religions only had the vaguest idea about most anything from germs to semen. The most backward aspect of major religions involved insane rituals designed to "please the Gods." Or the one God.

One is never supposed to make fun of "religion." Why not? What is more laughable than somebody dressing in a silly costume and making ridiculous gestures to heaven? It gets less funny when these same lunatics decide that their way of worship is the only way, and that if they don't outright kill YOU for not being one of THEM, they can most certainly kill some innocent lamb. Literally.

Brigitte Bardot is currently on trial in France because she spoke out against some lunatic religious rite that involves killing a sheep. Isn't she entitled to her opinion? Somehow, she's on trial for spreading "hate." This would be as crazy as a doctor who voices an opinion against circumcision being put on trial for being anti-Semitic.

Here's how the incident was reported:

The 73-year-old former screen siren faces a possible two-month suspended prison sentence and a fine of $23,500 if she is found guilty. The Contempt star, who quit the film industry in the 1970s to pursue a career as an animal rights activist, has faced similar charges of inciting racial hate on four prior occasions. The latest charges came about after the star publicly published a letter she sent to French president Nicolas Sarkozy last year lambasting the Muslim religious festival of Eid al-Adha - due to its traditions of slaughtering a sheep. In the letter she says, "I am fed up with being under the thumb of this population which is destroying us, destroying our country and imposing its acts." The first racial hatred charge the star faced was in 1997, where she was fined $2,300 for her comments, and most recently she was ordered to pay $7,900 for making similar controversial and racially motivated comments. Prosecutor Anne de Fonette told the court she was seeking a tougher sentence than on previous occasions, stating, "I am a little tired of prosecuting Mrs Bardot." Bardot did not attend the trial stating she was physically unable to. The verdict is expected in several weeks.

Here at the Ill Folks blog, it must be said that people who believe that God really wants to see a bunch of jerks slaughter a sheep, gut a goat, or wave a live chicken around their heads...are truly sick fucks.

You probably know that in addition to being a caring animal rights advocate, and being the film world's legendary "sex kitten," Bardot also enjoyed a successful singing career. Music hath charms to soothe the savage breast...so only a true savage could download this sample song as music to slaughter a sheep by.

Here, by way of making love not killing sheep (and no lambskin condoms, please) "Je t'aime...Moi non plus" the orgasmic love duet between Bardot and Serge Gainsbourg. The song was a hit via another coupling, Gainsbourg and Jane Birkin, mostly because Birkin's breathless gasps and virginal squeals suggested the more tasty notion of male dominance...something not so likely with Brigitte, who clearly sounds like she's giving as good as she gets. Sometimes the best sex is when both partners are being aggressive. Brigitte remains indomitable, even today, battling serious health issues and ludicrous government officials who should be telling bloodthirsty immigrants to take their crazed behavior back to their own country. If you don't believe in the customs and language of a country, don't emigrate there, you dumb radical Islam sick fucks.

JE T'AIME...AND SUPPORT FONDATION BRIGITTE BARDOT

MARTIN BRILEY vs SICK FUCKS


What we call "religion" is really just one thing: belief in an imaginary friend. The only variation, among the Jews, Christians, Muslims and Hindus and the rest, is how friendly this God actually is.

Some sick fucks figure that God is actually a pretty evil old dude. Even weirder, they figure their particular form of silly costumes, rituals and chants are the ONLY ones that God hears, and that everybody else should be converted or destroyed. Totally insane is that these same sick fucks think God can't smite these heathens himself! They think he needs them to do it for Him. Holy war! Holy shit!

Illustrating this insane and intolerant point, after nearly 20 years of solo album silence, is Martin Briley.

"ME AND MY INVISIBLE FRIEND" is from Martin's album "It Comes In Waves." Still crusty after all these years, maybe half the tracks are salty, while a few (including the title track) are more bittersweet. For other highlights, such as "Church of Disney" and "Pray For Rain," there's a thing called iTunes. Martin also has a myspace page with samples.

Here, singing as a radical Islam asshole, Martin explains why he's a sick fuck: "I wanna protect you, infect you, show you why your life is wrong. I wanna alert you, convert you, then maybe we can get along.." Maybe. Maybe not:

"I watch you every night by satellite surrounded by the things I crave
You got the floosies in Jazuzzis while I'm living in this cave.
HE promises glory, with stories of virgins in paradise
And I never had a girl in the real world so take me to the afterlife.
It'll be deja-vu all over again
We're gonna fight this holy war 'till the bitter end
Me and my invisible friend..."

Do you have a taste for misanthropic, wry, satiric, inflammatory music-making? Think you could write a hit like Briley's infamous "Salt in My Tears?" Maybe Martin can help you get it out there. If you wanna be very commercial, and write songs you think a Celine Dion or an N'Sync might perform, or a Karla DeVito or Pat Benatar, Martin could help here, too, since he's written songs for all of those (and more). For more info on how you might be able to work with Martin Briley in his studio or via tapes or Internet files sent back and forth, check out martinbriley.com.

And now...a slam at radical Islam (because, let's hasten to add, they are hijacking a fine, fine, super-fine, just plain excellent religion) here's...

ME AND MY INVISIBLE FRIEND

Wednesday, April 09, 2008

JONATHAN ROUND Shakespearean SYMPATHY FOR THE DEVIL


Overbaked cackling. Sound effects of hellish winds and thunder. Lyrics recited like a mad actor more than sung like a rock star. Wow, what a great version of "Sympathy for the Devil!"

The "Devil" was the only song that interested critics when Jonathan Round's album arrived. That is, if anybody reviewed it at all. A few also commented on Round's album actually being die-cut in a round shape, which was quite an uncommon trick. Even so, the years passed, the album disappeared, and so did the artist.

I sometimes dug up "Devil" to play on the radio. You can hear that version below. While it's taken from a broadcast tape, it's in better shape than the R-share download of the complete album, which has a bit of crackle accumulated over the years.

The Rolling Stones cover version is the best thing on the album, although the rest isn't bad journeyman rock. On a gospel shout like "Don't it Make You Wanna Go Home" he aims for a male Janis Joplin (modern listeners might say this ground Round sounds like Meatloaf.) The throaty soul affectations dominate the rock tunes, but on a softer folkie piece, like "Tolu" (all about "saving karma," man) he sounds like he could've been a slightly hoarse warm-up act for Gordon Lightfoot or Cat Stevens.

While I do know plenty of ill folkies and obscure rockers, and some have even crashed here in Illville for a night or two, the whereabouts of Jonathan Round are unknown to me. I assume he's still a'Round somewhere.

UPDATE: Sadly, Jonathan is no longer a'Round...he was JOHN A MARIOTTO (Feb 1, 1949-Feb 16, 2009). This particular post is one of my proudest, because John did read it, and people who've been unable to find this album in any condition at any price now have it. It's turned out, in his life and in death, to be a place for people to express their feelings about him in the comments section. It makes me so glad I started this blog.

Jonathan's own comment on this recording:

Thank you all for remembering the work. The Westbound Album was the first deal I made after having started performing in the early seventies. Anyone who signed a contract in those days found out very quickly how little say they had over artistic issues. Overall I am proud of what was done. Many of the decisions made came about as a result of having signed with an R&B label. Many of the artistic decisions wrere made by folks who had been doing R&B all their careers. A second and then an independently produced third album were done but unfortunately never released. Either of these two more acurately reflect where I was artistically at the time. Perhaps I'll get a chance to post some cuts from these some time in the future. Once again, thanks for the memories. PS - There is no truth to the rumor that I was ever at any party where "spiked" kind bud was passed out. I'm still looking for the guy who started that story -- and so is my lawyer.


The comments below...at first wondering where he was, then the surprising news of his passing, show that the little known can leave a big legacy. Maybe someday there will be a CD re-issue, with bonus tracks from his unreleased albums.


"Sympathy for the Devil," grandly recited with stagey, cackling laughter. Version from one of my radio broadcasts, with a bit of reverb at the end
The whole Round album, the "Sympathy" version doesn't have the elaborate fade-out as the single-song download version.

SACRILEGE #9: Singin' like Bob Dylan


Who would dare mimic Bob Dylan?
Actually, who wouldn't? He and Elvis are probably the most imitated vocalists of all time, when it comes to parody.
Since more than a few would be a lethal dose, here's two samples:
"The Times They Haven't Changed Much" by Loose Bruce Kerr, imagines what protest-song Bob might do in describing trivial problems of the day: "Come mothers and fathers in large SUV's. They're just station wagons with cup-holder ease. Your sons and your daughters still won't eat their peas. And teens speak some new form of English. They think they know more than their parents, oh please! Oh the times they haven't changed much..."
"Everybody Must Get Stoned," a phrase in Dylan's oddly named "Rainy Day Women #12 and #35" song, leads to: "Everybody Loves Flintstones" from Dan Orr. A typical Dr. Demento-type piece, aiming at anyone who hasn't mentally aged beyond 14, it extols the joys of never getting over badly animated cartoons: "Well Fred, he got a pal named Barney Rubble. They always wind up in some kinda trouble. They always get yelled at by Mr. Slate. And they use an elephant to wash their plates. Might sound absurd, but they got a bird that is a phone. Everybody loves Flintstones!"
2 boobs tryin' t' soun' like Bob

2 songs about CARYL CHESSMAN


The name might be familiar to you. Peter Gabriel name-checked him briefly on "Lamb Lies Down on Broadway." Phil Ochs in his album notes said his song "The Iron Lady" was influenced by the Chessman case. Alan Alda played him in "Kill Me If You Can." Any discussion of the death penalty usually includes the story of the "Red Light Bandit" who didn't actually kill anyone, but who was sentenced to death and waged a clever, spectacular battle for his life...doing a lot of time before his time was up.
A career criminal with a brilliant mind, Chessman was able to win support for his cause by writing a book while in prison and smuggling it out for publication. Before long, the issue wasn't whether Chessman was innocent or guilty (a fairly even split on that) but whether his crime, or any crime, warranted the maximum penalty.
Chessman drew celebrity support from all over the world, but it didn't soften Governor Edmund Brown. He might've had better luck with the man's son Jerry Brown, who would also become a California governor (in the 70's, and a fringe presidential candidate three times). Many simply believed Chessman's sentence was already too long, and his many last-minute stays of executions were beyond cruel and unusual punishment.
Ironically during his lifetime, it was a pair of country singers who rallied to Chessman's defense. These protest songs against the death penalty were simple enough.
"Country" Johnny Mathis sang, "No one knows his tortured mind, the way he's lived to die 8 times..." and then, addressing Caryl personally: "The world has come to know your name, but they don't live your burning pain...now you wait...Chessman what will be your fate...you've done your best, and now you wait...Chessman, what will be your fate?"
Ronnie Hawkins likewise notes, "Caryl Chessman spent 12 years in San Quentin waitin' for his execution day. What they're sayin' may be true, but what good would killin' him do? Everywhere you go, people say: let 'im live, let 'em live. I'm not sayin' forget or forgive. If he's guilty of his crime, keep him in jail a long long time, but let 'im live, let 'im live, let 'im live."
Hawkins acknowledges two of the three crimes ("Did he kidnap, did he rob") but not the odious third...sexual assault. The Red Light Bandit's m.o. was to drive into a lover's lane, pretending to be a cop (red light on the car roof) and then turn from good guy to pure evil. (Chessman indignantly insisted he was a career thief, but not a pervert.) Whatever his crimes, Hawkins sings, "Killin' laws were made by man, not according to God's plan," and the only reason Chessman got the death sentence was a loophole whereby pulling a woman out of her car was deemed an act of "kidnap."
You know the end result. Once again, at the very last minute, a clever legal maneuver won Caryl Chessman a reprieve. A secretary was ordered to dial the prison with the news, but she got a wrong number. By the time she re-dialed and got through, the gas pellets had already dropped. The date was May 2, 1960.
RONNIE HAWKINS
"COUNTRY" JOHNNY MATHIS

Saturday, March 29, 2008

I AM A ROCK covered by MARIE CELESTE


The name Marie Celeste probably rings a distant bell...or buoy. Sir Arthur Conan Doyle popularized the legend of the ghost ship that was found drifting, Friday the 13th, December of 1872, cargo intact but the entire crew missing.
His fiction piece was about the "Marie Celeste" rather than the real name, "Mary Celeste," just as Edgar A. Poe's "Mystery of Marie Roget" was a fictionalized account of the death of Mary Rogers. "Marie" just sounds more exotic, doesn't it?
The ship was commanded by Captain Benjamin Briggs, who had a seven-man crew and also his wife and two-year old daughter aboard. The best theory is that something spooked everyone into leaving the ship — quickly. And that they perished in the treacherous waters before making land or returning to the boat.
Fast-forward to 1971, when "And Then Perhaps" arrived...an album by the group Marie Celeste, featuring a schooner on the album cover, leaning precariously on troubled seas. (Paul Simon's paul-simon.info website tracks the song's recording date to 1968). The group, whom critics compared to Oberon, privately pressed (Audio Archives PAM 006) only 200 copies of the record. It has been rescued from obscurity and is now on CD via Hi-Note, who declare you will enjoy hearing all cuts for the "haunting twin female vocals, a unique hallmark of the band. A must for lovers of esoteric underground UK." http://www.artist-shop.com/hinote/index.htm
The band apparently disbanded long ago, with a new Marie Celeste (vocalist Patrik Gill) making minimal waves in the 80's. Once a band is dead, especially dead and obscure, it seems pretty easy to just grab the name, and so there's now yet another Marie Celeste, a trio from Rotterdam. They haven't come up with anything like this...

I AM A ROCK launched by MARIE CELESTE Listen on line or download. No pop-ups, code words or wait time.

Steve Goodman Laughs at Death, Live


If you're not in Chicago, and not into folk-rock, "Steve Goodman" may not be a familiar name. He's best known for writing "City of New Orleans," which was made popular by most everyone who sang it, except him.
Short-lived (July 25, 1948 – September 20, 1984), Goodman was diagnosed with leukemia at 21, and the following year he got married and vowed to try and put together a good life and career with the time he had left...by making music and getting paid for it.
He did it despite "the physical pain and time constraints of a fatal disease which he kept at bay, at times, seemingly by willpower alone," his wife recalled. A local phenom, Goodman recorded "Gathering at the Earl of Old Town" in 1971. After opening for Kris Kristofferson, Kris pulled some strings and got Steve signed to Buddah Records. Steve was still not well known when at a bar, a skeptical Arlo Guthrie agreed to allow Steve to perform a song for him in exchange for a beer. The song, "City of New Orleans," not only became a rare hit for Arlo, but became a hit a dozen years later via Willie Nelson's 1984 Grammy-winning version. But by then, Steve Goodman was gone. He got a posthumous Grammy for "Unfinished Business," released in 1988.
Goodman, like the folkies before him such as Phil Ochs and Tom Paxton, worked the clubs and rarely got radio airplay unless somebody else was covering one of his songs. Steve had a penchant for topical tunes that amused audiences but hadn't enough shelf-life to succeed as singles, and a fun-loving sense of humor, which included parodies of country tunes ("You Never Even Call Me By My Name" covered by David Allan Coe) and endless songs about the then-hapless Chicaco Cubs. Some of Goodman's ashes were actually scattered at Wrigley Field. His song "Go Cubs Go" has become a mainstay, heard at most every Cubs game.
Knowing "Cold Hand Leuk" was coming for him (to use his own term for the killer disease), Steve often responded with humor, and here he is, ridiculing death songs during a live performance. He has great fun with "Teen Angel," "Tell Laura I Love Her" and "(Laurie) Strange Things Happen," and his voice soars into the same register as Mark Dinning, Paul Peterson and Dickey Lee...somewhere between heaven and hilarity.
A bunch of rare Steve Goodman live performances were released on the posthumous set "No Big Surprise," and the royalties go to his wife and surviving children, who might like to see a decent check come in once or twice a year (no big surprise to most humans).
DEATH SONG MEDLEY

Sunday, March 09, 2008

LESLEY GORE SINGS IN THREE LANGUAGES


Not a canary in a coal mine, but a parakeet in an echo chamber, Lesley Gore hasn't been given enough credit for one fact: she's distinctive. When you hear Lesley's slightly husky voice, you know it's not a solo Shangri-La, or another Daughter of Sappho, Dusty Springfield. Gore's particular brand of toughness and vulnerability was all her own, made famous on the ominous, bitchy "You Don't Own Me" and the masochistic then sadistic two-part story, "It's My Party" and "Judy's Turn to Cry."

"Back in the day," nobody knew that Gore and Springfield were lesbians, but today it seems pretty obvious, since both were rather aloof to doing sweet (Petula Clark) or sour (Nancy Sinatra) poses intended for boys to pin up and stare at. Nope, if you stared at Dusty's hooker-esque make-up on an album cover, or Lesley's slightly distant mug shots, any erotic interest was from the beholder, not the babe.
The illfolks download offers Lesley doing what many stars of the day did...phonetically singing songs in foreign languages to increase sales. While the always snotty French will probably complain about her accent, the Germans might just sob into their saurkraut, and the Italians will gesticulate with their sausages, this stuff will sound pretty authentic to English-speakers. Whatever the language, you instantly know it's Lesley Gore, and that's the sign of a very, very distinctive vocalist.
Lesley still takes to the road, singing a varied selection of numbers (as opposed to being strictly an oldies tour item) and she's sometimes sought out for interviews by alternative newspapers and magazines that want to focus on her sexuality. And here, we zero in on Lesley's ability to satisfy our ears even when we don't know what the hell she's singing...and that's the mark of a fine singer, not just a pop star.
"You Don't Own Me" in German and French, "Maybe I Know" in French, and lots more. You get 8 German numbers, 8 French numbers, and 2 songs in Italian...Gore's brand of global warming.
the French, German and Italian LESLEY GORE

STIFFLY WOODWARD: Elton John & Paul Simon


Edward Woodward is probably best known for his role as the stiff, hung-up police inspector in "The Wicker Man." Before that, coming off his stint as star of a British TV crime series, he put his stiff upper and lower lips in front of a microphone and sang some severely sincere versions of pop songs.
A pair of these will more than suffice. "Sound of Silence" is completely baked, but too sincere and too on-key to get tossed into that nasty pile of "golden throats" celeb vocals we all love to laugh about. No, Woodward wants silence, and he gets it. No jokes here!
He also tackled an obscurity, an early Elton John-Bernie Taupin number called "The Tide Will Turn for Rebecca," which is not about that time of month. What it might be about is, typical with Taupin lyrics, not too clear, but read along for yourself:

"Can you hear the floorboards crying in a room on the second floor, that used to be owned by someone who's no one, but he don't live there anymore
"Only Rebecca clasping her head on her knees, trying to work out what is about
And why someone had to leave.
"But dry up your tears, stop counting the years. Don't worry what's coming. Forget all your fears. And the tide will turn for Rebecca. Her life will change, her hopes rearrange into something that might really matter
"She's all alone in a world of her own with a key that fits her lonely world. You won't need a crowd to shout out aloud what she says deserves to be heard."

Mr. Woodward, in "The Wicker Man," suffered enough (including having frightened farm animals pissing on him during a fire scene...something viewers didn't get to see in the finished movie). So without wisecracks, take these two and don't leave a comment in the morning...

Look Ed Wood-ward Angel - SILENCE
Look Ed Wood-ward Angel - REBECCA

14 OBSCURE NORTHERN SOUL SONGS 256 kps


Who says this blog isn't super cool and loaded with soul? Most everyone.
However, the blog is noted for giving a second chance to the obscure, and this Baker's dozen features a lot of tracks that were potential hits until they actually reached store shelves. It's proof that being good is not always enough.
Some of this stuff should've been playing on the radio right after a track by Martha Reeves, The Four Tops or The Temptations.
Tracks by: The Ad Libs, Robert Ward, Steve Mancha, Lee Garrett, The San Remo Singers, Olympics, The Incredibles, Larry J. Reynolds, The Manhattans, Edwin Starr, Darrell Banks, The Volcanos (pictured in the photo), Tripps and Performers.
Titles: Human, Never Alone, Whirlpool, Can't Break the Habit, Still Hungry, Secret Agents, Another Dirty Deal, Were You in the Middle, What Should I Do, My Kind of Woman, Looking Into the Eyes of a Fool, False Alarm, Give it Back, Set Me Free.
14 Northern Soul Songs

Friday, February 29, 2008

BOB DARIN not BOB DYLAN : Commitment & Cassotto


The times were a'changing, and just as the greasy Four Seasons bowed to The Beatles, doo wop and lounge act singers such as Dion Dimucci and Bobby Darin began to pay attention to Bob Dylan. Folk-rock and protest became "the new bag."
Dion would emerge with a hit single, "Abraham Martin and John."
Bobby Darin offered a well-received version of Tim Hardin's "If I were a Carpenter," and made two transition albums containing Hardin tracks and other less than finger-snappin' songs. These can be found via import CD as "If I Were a Carpenter/Inside Out." Ultimately he doffed his hairpiece and put on denims to record on his own label, fittingly titled Directions.
By this time another Kennedy was dead: Robert F. Kennedy, and Darin saluted him with a song called "In Memorium." He also offered a wry tune about the pursuit of money, and a tough one about the world of the chain gang. Ala Phil Ochs, he sang about "Change." He also sang some simple songs of freedom.
His albums were honestly titled "Born Robert Walden Cassotto" and "Commitment."
A few years later, he strapped his hairpiece back on, dusted off his tux, and once again became Bobby Darin, because times had changed again.
You'd think it would be a simple matter to re-issue his two "Bob Darin" albums together. It hasn't happened. Either one album would turn up, with a few mis-matched bonus tracks, or the other would be on a two-fer paired with one of Darin's sillier efforts, and frankly, there's a big difference between Darin singing a novelty like "If I could Talk to the Animals" and the moody "I Can See the Wind."
Nobody's gotten it right. These two albums belong together and finally, they are. At least on this obscure blog where we salute people who don't always do the ordinary, and sometimes take a chance, and sometimes in their efforts to be Phil Ochs, only end up ill folks. That's what happened to Bob Darin...he didn't get respect for these two releases and some felt he was just jumping on the folk-rock bandwagon to cash in. They were wrong. Find out for yourself.
TWO albums on the one download, just as if the two albums were released on one CD, which they haven't.
DARIN: 2 LPS on 1 DOWNLOAD Via RS.

MOONDOG by BLACKSTONE with MAX WEINBERG


Moondog? You might know he was some iconic self-created musician with a fetish for Viking gear. Blackstone? The name might conjure up a magician or the name of a finance company.
But as the late 60's festered into the 70's, a group called Blackstone recorded this tribute to Moondog, and stuck it on their debut album. Their record label had high hopes. Quoting the album notes:
"Noise proves nothing," Mark Twain once wrote, "often a hen who has merely laid an egg cackles as if she had laid an asteroid." Blackstone, the young men who make their debut with this album, are destined to make a lot of noise in the music business...after five months of intensive rehearsals in a New Jerey garage, they came to the studio and laid the asteroid contained herein..."
Let's not dwell on "laid the asteroid..." it's just not fair to pick on a band just because it never succeeded. Actually, ONE member definitely did. It wasn't lead vocalist Tom Flynn, but the drummer Max Weinberg. Yes, once he shaved off the walrus mustache, and found another Jersey boy by the name of Springsteen, Max was on his way.
Here's "Moondog," a pretty good ballad from the Blackstone album.
The guys in the band probably knew of Moondog the way most in the tri-state area did; as this blind nutjob in a Viking hat who staked out a piece of Manhattan for "performance art" (before there was a term for it). He earned spare change and, way after this particular tribute song, a lot of respect as some kind of legend.
With moody organ leading the way, and Max offering a cane tap for a beat, the pithy opening lines: "A blind man sees more than I can. He's learned to love and understand." More pith: "He's got a lot of life left in his soul, and that Moondog can learn to rock and roll." With a Ringo chug, Max gets his drum kit in gear and tries to put some backbone into Blackstone (yes, "there will be violins on this track") and his drums help push out some of the overweening sentiment.
Hit the link and get your taste of this bar band with a conscience, as they sing the praises of Moondog...little realizing that he would go on to his own record deal, have Janis Joplin cover one of his songs, and generally do a whole lot better than any band member except Max.

MOONDOG by BLACKSTONE Listen on line or download. No porn ads, pop ups or other patoots.

Saturday, February 09, 2008

Ill-Ustrated Songs #11 Don't Go To Strangers


Not exactly a torch song, here's a porch song...a woman keeping the light burning in the window while she waits for her dim-bulb boyfriend to finish carousing.

A sad, moody blues, this now-obscure song by a woman usually confused with blues singer Etta James, is a distant cousin to "Don't Explain" by Billie Holiday. These women are pretty resigned to having to deal with a no good man. You can picture Etta, smoking in bed, alone, but instead of smouldering with resentment or getting even, she's telling the guy that real love is more than a one night stand.

Fats Waller sang the male equivalent, "Ain't Misbehavin'" which suggested that waiting around wasn't too much of a sacrifice. Here, Etta says "when you need more than company, don't go to strangers..." like she's, what, dating Kobe Bryant? She's dry eyed about this guy wetting his wick in moist areas that aren't hers. She doesn't care how much he dribbles, if one day she'll catch him on the rebound. A sad song indeed.

Etta Jones is gone now, but Etta James is now singing this number. She figured that since her rival is now dead, she'd just grab the song and make it her own. That's the same logic that led Etta James to meander over to Genya Ravan after a show and tell Genya, "How dare you sing black." Which is sort of like telling Leontyne Price, "How dare you sing white Italian classical music." Over here at the illfolks corner of Obscurity & Forgotten, let's just say that the woman who did it first and best was Etta Jones, and that people of every color can get the blues.

DON'T GO TO STRANGERS

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

STUPID (not quite a Dylan song) ANNE MCCUE


With a bit of a Byrds jangle, Anne McCue, Australia's answer to Lucinda Williams, comes up with a smart piece of writing called "Stupid."
The more you listen to Anne's song, the more clever it becomes. She can easily reference Bob Dylan, but this comes out of knowledge and respect for their work, not desperate name-dropping.
"...there are no institutions. There's nothing to believe in anymore. The time of the flood is almost here. The end of the world is drawing near..."

But that's no reason to do something stupid. The song is about not giving up on life...which is remarkable coming from a woman who fills up her albums with some pretty grim and dark songs. Yes, singing about drunks ("Jesus' Blood") disaster ("Any Minute Now") and feeling like a "$50 Whore" all suggest that fans of Cohen and Dylan might do well to add McCue to their eMusic queue.
"I suffered your shit and shoveled your debris," she sings to the guy who nearly drove her to suicide. But really, why kill yourself over some guy? Or some guy at 11pm giving you bad news? He's not a prophet, and "no man-made God" should lead anyone to a premature and fatal decision. If Anne can manage the trick of being depressing and uplifting at the same time, then there are indeed wonders to ponder every day.
On this track she warns, "I'm gonna write a Bob Dylan song..." Well, why not, she upped the ante on her pal Lucinda already, and some of her stuff is more than good enough to be covered by Bob on a lonely afternoon.
STUPID Instant download or listen on line.

Wednesday, January 09, 2008

I HEAR DEAD PEOPLE (the cold 45, part one)

A whole lotta dyin' went on in 2007, and in the music world, the biggest death (literally) was the end of Luciano Pavarotti. The saddest death was probably Brad Delp of the group Boston, who left behind a suicide note declaring he was a "lonely soul." Other suicides were U-Nee and opera star Jerry Hadley. While ill singers Lee Hazlewood and George Melly had a lot of time to prepare for death, the usual number of rappers got a bullet without ever getting to Number One. Many musicians gamely stayed in the game as long as possible despite health setbacks, including Michael Brecker, Fred Chichin of Les Rita Mitsuoko and Don Ho.
Restricting this memorial to a pair of Rapidshare limited-size downloads and the magic number 45, a few of your favorites may not be heard here, but at least they can be seen in the next paragraph. Unlisteds whose number came up this year, and un-persons as far as being included in the downloads go:

Lydia Mendoza (career stretching back to the 30's), Damien Morris (vocalist for death metal band The Red Shore), death metal drummers Bud Mills and Witold Kieltyka, Marvin Smith (half of The Checkmates), jazz sax player Frank Morgan, jazz saz player Cecil Payne, blues guitarist Philadelphia Jerry Ricks, conga drummer Carlos Valdes, Erich Von Schmidt (obscure folkie and Dylan influence, who spent the last 3 decades of his life working as a respected artist), Casey Calvert (guitarist in Hawthorne Heights), opera singers Andrew Foldi and Frank Guarrera, Alice Coltrane, classical flute player Masakuzu Yoshizawa, reggae star Lucky Dube, rapper "Big Moe" Moore, Pete Kleinow (of the Flying Buritto Brothers), Miyoshi Umecki (who recorded an album of standards as well as a single with Red Buttons), jazz drummers Max Roach and Bob Rosengarden, and Zayda Pena (of Zayda y los Culpables). She was shot in the heart a few days after being hospitalized for a gunshot wound to the neck...her death sparking publicity about the world of drug trafficking and Mexican border violence, and the music chronicling this dangerous lifestyle.

Three singers who played it for laughs are now silent. Jim Nesbitt was the country singer best known for his "Running Bare" parody and Alice Ghostley recorded some novelty songs in her cabaret days, and was in the musicals "Grease" and "Cinderella." Lastly, a lovely lady I had the good fortune to speak with, the legendary Ruth Wallis. Perhaps Ruth will get a write-up of her own on this blog eventually. Her sexy comedy songs now seem very tame, but in her hot heyday, they were literally banned. Unlike so many singers in that genre, Ruth had real talent and lilt...and could've done well with any kind of song, risque or not.

The heavenly stars on the first download:
LA TRAVIATA (Beverly Sills)
MORE THAN A FEELING (Brad Delp; Boston)
IF EVER I WOULD LEAVE YOU (Robert Goulet)
MUCH TOO YOUNG TO DIE (Merv Griffin)
SPOOKY, SPOOKY (Walker Edmiston as Dracula, with Linda Strangis)
O HOLY NIGHT (Luciano Pavarotti)
TIL I WALTZ AGAIN WITH YOU (Teresa Brewer)
BUT NOT FOR ME (Yvonne DeCarlo)
CHILDREN OF THE SUN (Billy Thorpe)
COME AND GET IT, HONEY (Nellie Lutcher)
I CAN SING A RAINBOW (Billy Henderson of The Spinners)
IN THE NIGHT (Dakota Staton)
YOU'VE LOST THAT LOVING FEELING (Barbara McNair)
ALL THE BLUES ALL THE TIME (Ike Turner)
SWAMP GIRL (Frankie Laine)
NOW (Kitty Carlisle)
GRAND HOTEL (Jerry Hadley)
GIGUE by Bach (Mstislav Rostropovich)
ELECTRIC CHAIR (George Melly)
UNCHAINED MELODY (Les Baxter for lyricist Hy Zaret)
SHOCK THE MONKEY (Don Ho)
MONSTER SLASH (Bobby "Boris" Pickett)
FOR ONCE IN MY LIFE (Vonda Shepard for lyricist Ron Miller)

I HEAR DEAD PEOPLE PART ONE November 2011 update...the Rapidshare link died, but it's back via the BOX!

I HEAR DEAD PEOPLE (the cold 45, part two)

If any of the 45 deceased performers on the download are unfamiliar to you, just Google 'em, if their death knell didn't ring a bell. There's no space here to give each artist a real tribute. The list is mostly loaded with fairly famous names, but there are salutes to songwriters, too, including Ron Miller and Hy Zaret. If you have an inquiring Google-mind, you'll find some site where you'll see that 92 year-old Ray Evans was the lyricist on not just "Que Sera Sera" but the oft-heard "Mr Ed" theme and the almost never-heard "Bonanza" theme, and many more.

The most obscure singer among the 45 performers you'll hear if you download both parts of the 2007 death roll, is Walker Edmiston. He was an accomplished actor and a specialist in voiceovers and cartoon voices, but he made very few novelty records. He was the lead on a Gunsmoke parody called 'Mr. Grillon" (attributed to the Archibald Players when first released, then the George Garabedian Players on re-release) and a weird cold-war obscurity, "I Dreamt I Saw Khrushchev (in a Pink Cadillac)," which is part of the very expensive Bear Family "Atomic Platters" boxed set. Here, he turns up as Dracula in a bloody cut from one of the lesser known Spike Jones albums.

I'll leave you to your research, and use this remaining space to salute some of the non-musical celebrities of 2007 who were particularly important (to me). Kurt Vonnegut (who did record a few calypsos) and Norman Mailer (available on spoken word albums) were, of course, two of the 20th Century's great literary names, and I treasure the unique autographed items I have from them, and their kindness. Jocular Tom Snyder swooped the planet, and as flawed as he was, he left a legacy that is a lot more impressive than what's followed in his time-slot in the past decade. I will most certainly miss the gentle Tom Poston, who was a warm and funny guy off-screen as well as on.

While meeting celebrities is a thrill, and spending time with them informally is even a greater privilege, not all of these encounters are vivid or memorable. But I do remember in great detail, two very different people who gave the world laughter, and who passed on in very different ways. The master, Marcel Marceau, lived to a solid old age, so all those stupid "moment of silence" jokes weren't that hard to take. Today, a "mime" is a deserved subject of derision,because few of them follow the tradition or have a tenth of the skill of the master. I saw M-M perform many times, and he was an artist. As for Richard Jeni, perhaps his demise will serve as a warning to the family or friends of someone battling depression, someone lost in the maze of prescription medications that often do more harm than good. Richard was one of the masters of stand-up, greatly under-appreciated in his lifetime, but anyone who spent any time with him can attest to a personality both magnetic and unforgettable.

The heavenly songs and stars on the second download:
A HUNDRED DOLLAR FUNERAL (Porter Wagoner)
CACKLIN' SAX (Boots Randolph)
BLUE ETUDE (Written and Performed by Oscar Peterson)
COLD COLD CHEATIN' HEART (Joey Bishop)
COME ON FEEL THE NOIZE (Kevin DuBrow of Quiet Riot)
IF LOVING YOU IS WRONG (Luther Ingram)
GIRL ON THE BILLBOARD (Del Reeves)
LES HISTOIRES D' AMOUR (Fred Chichin of Les Rita Mitsoukos)
THE MEAN TIME (Michael Brecker)
SAME OLD LANG SYNE (Dan Fogelberg)
THE IRISH ROVER (Tommy Makem)
THESE BOOTS ARE MADE FOR WALKIN' (Lee Hazlewood)
THE WILD SIDE OF LIFE (Hank Thompson)
DON'T CRY AGAIN (U-Nee)
I DONT HURT ANYMORE (Janis Martin)
HE'S MINE (Zola Taylor of The Platters)
GOODNIGHT SWEETHEART (Pookie Hudson of the Spaniels)
I SAW HER AGAIN LAST NIGHT (Co-written by Denny Doherty)
SUNSET SEE MY SADNESS (Hank Medress of The Tokens)
THE CIVIL DEFENSE SIGN (Mark Spoelstra)
IT'S OH SO QUIET (BLOW A FUSE) (Betty Hutton)
QUE SERA SERA (Sly Stone, for lyricist Ray Evans)
I HEAR DEAD PEOPLE, PART TWO (Update Nov 2011, the link won't stay dead! Re-upped after the original Rapidshare one expired)

Saturday, December 29, 2007

A Bulging Load of LUCKY LIPS



Take the "Lucky Lips" challenge!
Can you identify the owners of the lucky lips?
Just match A,B,C,D,E to: Ruth Brown, Cliff Richard, Gale Storm, Maria Vincent, and luscious Gina Gershon.
When Gina Gershon opened her "In Search of Cleo" shows with "Lucky Lips," she inspired me to pay some lip service to this catchy (and/or stupid) tune as covered by:
Swinging Ruth Brown, perky Gale Storm, retro mod Maria Vincent (closest to Gina's stage version) and gigolo Cliff Richard who also supplies his German-language version titled "Rote Lippen." I've also included the Peter Kraus German cover-version and....
....a pair of semi-pro lounge performers, the duo of Carlo and Jolanda Hartentwee (of the Netherlands) and Zurich's plucky Joanna Schneiter.
If you're really into this (and there's no reason you should be) you'll note how the lyrics change depending on gender (what would a guy rhyme with "lips" in place of "diamond clips") and the foreigners add some fun by pronunciations of "Locky Lips" and "Lucky Leaps."

The more famous people are represented in the photo quiz.
The QUIZ ANSWERS are in the comment section.
Here's a download of LUCKY LIPS!

Ruth Brown's version has been re-upped individually:

Brown's LUCKY LIPS!

"Johnny" A Pozo-Sicko Folk Song


Martin Mull: "Remember the folk scare of the 60's? That garbage nearly caught on."
One reason it didn't, was that people didn't want to hear rottenly pompous "message" songs by groups like the Pozo-Seco Singers. Even the earnest croon of "Where Have All the Flowers Gone" became pretty tiresome, so when every overwrought singer and group began mewling about "I Gave my Love a Cherry" or offering tripe like "Johnny," folk music was doomed. Bob Dylan went electric. Judy Collins, Paul Simon, Janis Ian and others went to folk-rock. Burl Ives went back to acting.
Folk is still around...and mostly avoided. If you see some oh-so-sensitive type in a park or playground, strumming a guitar, sporting a dirndl or a goatee, you RUN IN THE OPPOSITE DIRECTION. Especially if the person has BOTH a dirndl and a goatee. Nobody wants to hear self-important, solemn and pseudo-sensitive suet-suckers oozing pretentious drivel intended as a lesson in life.
Such an example is "Johnny" from the Pozo-Seco Singers, who were so middle of the road they should've been run over by a truck. While they did have some good intentions at times (any group that covered "Changes" by Phil Ochs can't be all bad), this is the kind of song that was intended to make kids cry, especially if the kid hadn't yet gotten over "Puff the Magic Dragon."
Nominations for "Worst Folk Song" are now open, and perhaps one day a blog will feature an entire Rapidshare download of witless sing-alongs, execrable ethnic excretions, cloying calamities and rancidly sappy ballads. For now....heeeeeeeere's "Johnny."

JOHNNY Download or weep on line.

19 Versions of STARDUST


Once upon a starry night, Hoagy Carmichael's "Stardust" was considered the best song ever written. Everbody covered it. These days, few have "Stardust" memories, and "best song" might go to a more modern ballad, like "Yesterday," "Bridge Over Troubled Water," or "Loving You Has Made me Bananas." Over 1800 cover versions have been made, but most were recorded in the 30's and 40's. Since Spanky and Our Gang gave it a shot in 1968, it's been revived rarely, and mostly by retro-chanteuse types, and greasy guys who want to be the new Sinatra or Connick.
For a "best song," this piece is actually pretty quirky. It's not easy to sing and Hoagy was the Bacharach of his day, prone to odd tempos and a key that was usually full of sharps. Few know the words by heart (as opposed to, say, "As Time Goes By"), and these words aren't particularly great ones, either:
"Sometimes I wonder why I spend the lonely nights dreaming of a song.
The melody haunts my reverie, and I am once again with you, when our love was new, and each kiss an inspiration.
But that was long ago, and now my consolation is in the stardust of a song.
Beside the garden wall, when stars are bright you are in my arms
The nightingale tells his fairy tale of paradise where roses grew.
Though I dream in vain, in my heart you will remain my stardust melody
The memory of loves refrain."
Try remembering that, compared to "Yesterday."
Mitchell Parish added the lyrics in 1929, after Hoagy switched "Star Dust" from a jive syncopated jazz piece into the ballad "Stardust." A year later, the first major hit version arrived via Isham Jones, who chose it over "Ish You Ish, Or Ish You Ain't Mah Baby." Or maybe he didn't.
Your 19 song download features a variety of styles. Pick your own 20th as a personal favorite, since it's probably not here.
But here's Dinahs Shore & Washington, Ben Webster, Cab Calloway, Brubeck, Krupa, Coleman Hawkins, Isham Jones, The Ink Spots, Louis Armstrong, Sammy Kaye and even satire (Jackie Vernon). There's country nasal and country swing (Willie and Leon), and since you probably didn't know she could sing, Elke Sommer. Also, a 1933 solo from the Hoagster himself.
Hoagy's name was once synonymous with "songwriter." Either him, or Irving Berlin. "You could be another Hoagy," would've been quite the compliment in the 40's. Now, few could name more than a few of his jumpy little tunes. Oh, they know the songs, like "Georgia On My Mind" but associate someone else with them. No, Ray Charles didn't write that melody, Hoagy did (Hoagy usually wrote just the melodies). "Up a Lazy River" is typically lilting and shows where Bacharach got his shoulder-hunching quirky beats from. "How Little We Know" is a neat syncopated oddity, which Lauren Bacall gamely sang in "To Have and Have Not," and the late great George Harrison was a fan of both "Baltimore Oriole" and "Hong Kong Blues."
For those who have Stardust Memories, recall the Stardust in Vegas, or remember a star with dandruff, here's
star dust in your ears...the rapidshare download disappeared due to one of their typical purges of any file that didn't get downloaded often enough, but it's BACK via the BOX.

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

HOOP DE DAH! Pep Pep Pep Pep Pep Catarina Valente


A little exercise may dislodge some of that impacted turkey meat from Thanksgiving. It could melt the Halloween candy still festering in your colon, and it will help burn off some of that bowl full of jelly caused by oddball Christmas treats like figgy pudding.
The best and cheapest exercise is...dancing! The Twist is one of the few dances that actually targets the vast waist-line. Your instructor? Catarina Valente.
Cat's been an international star for four decades, mostly from covering pop hits in a variety of foreign languages. One of her greatest achievements is her German language hand-clapping take on Joey Dee's "Peppermint Twist."
Not everything is translated into German. Along the perky way you'll hear "One two three kick!" and "Kiss me baby, twist me baby" and that's two English sentences more than the average U.S. immigrant will ever know. Too bad the average immigrant does not arrive wearing a peppermint bikini dance suit...with no place to hide weapons.

Catarina Valente - PEPPERMINT TWIST Instant Download or Listen on Line. No pop ups or unders.

You Could Hear...Bobby Cole & Freddy Cole


DEC 19, 1996 my friend Bobby Cole died. He was a hard drinker and a hard smoker, and he worked nightclubs filled with the same. Back then there were no laws about "taking it outside" if you wanted to light up, so he took in plenty of second hand smoke, too. He had heart problems and one evening, perhaps rendered into a less painless state by alcohol, he was seen steadying himself by holding onto a pole, and slowly sinking to the sidewalk. He died on his way to the hospital.

In his last years he was vibrant, gregarious, and only slightly mellowed from the hell-raiser he had been when Sinatra was his pal and Judy Garland his squeeze. That he dated a much younger woman, and had young friends, was testimony to the fact that he was still thinking young, himself. A set might include "A-Train" and "After You've Gone" but also "Whiter Shade of Pale" or Leonard Cohen's "Closing Time."

There's a new album by Freddy Cole, brother of Nat "King" Cole, not Bobby. Freddy's new CD includes a cover of the smoke-dream ballad, "You Could Hear a Pin Drop." Here it is, 11 years after Bobby died, 40 since Bobby wrote and recorded it. Below, you also get Bobby's original version. Take a few minutes, and maybe raise a glass while you listen...

YOU COULD HEAR A PIN DROP FREDDY COLE

YOU COULD HEAR A PIN DROP BOBBY COLE

I Heard the Voice of Jesus - Jesus Is Coming


Here are two of my favorite "pro-Jesus" songs.
They're not on the coy and cute Christmas compilations everyone's downloading along the Internet chimney.
"I Heard the Voice of Jesus" features Turley Richards.
The title's poignant; Mr. Richards can only hear Jesus, since he went blind before he signed his first record contract. (But really, he who signs a record contract oft is blind). Fate's hideous practical joke was that young, athletic Turley was playing a goofy game of toy archery and got an arrow in his eye. In a twist right out of "The Light that Failed," his "good" eye became affected and began dimming through his teen years.
Richards recorded some R&B and folk before coming to Warners in 1970 and putting this stunning seven minute track on his debut album. The ambitious opus moves from simple, organ-based hymn to folk-guitar ramble, to rockestra epic, and along the way, miracle man Turley Richards transmogrifies from nasal folkie, to deep-voiced righteous brother, to gruff gospel shouter, to the ultimate epiphany of a heaven-bound falsetto.
Today Richards still performs, gives private lessons, and records new material. You can download his latest album free, and then send him a check, which is the ultimate in "if you like it, buy it," and shows he hasn't lost his faith in the good being rewarded. Visit turleyrichards.com.
"Jesus is Coming" by Andy Pratt.
As you might expect from the creator of "Avenging Annie," there is something both inspirational and insane in this song. The back story to Andy is that there was no way he could repeat his bizarre one-hit wonder, with the falsetto, frantic piano work, swiped Woody Guthrie melody and amusing feminist ranting. His Columbia and Atlantic albums were sort of a painful blend of both Simon and Garfunkel, as the tall, frizzy-haired Pratt laid himself vulnerable via the ballad. Eventually he took off for Europe and released religious albums for indie labels. He's returned to the USA with several strange secular albums, including a disc of covers highlighted by an eerie version of "Town without Pity" and a take on "Give Peace a Chance" in which he blanches at saying "masturbation"
"Jesus is Coming," from "One Body," has the stately beauty you'd expect from a film documentary on Nazareth. It takes a literal minute for the instrumental to give way to a drum kick and Andy's slightly Bee-Gee vocal. That chorus, "Closer and closer, Jesus is Coming, nearer and nearer, hour of his appearing..." is just a tad foreboding. As perhaps it should be. The song is comforting but menacing, which is perfect for any God-fearing religion.
Andy declares that when the Messiah returns "...justice shall cover the Earth." If the rising oceans don't cover it first. In that case, put in a call for Moses; he had a lot of experience parting water.
I HEARD THE VOICE OF JESUS I HEARD THE VOICE OF JESUS

JESUS IS COMING

FAIRYTALE of NEW YORK - controversial song


Kirsty MacColl died on December 18, 2000 due to a criminally careless joyrider in a motorboat. So it's a bit ironic that seven years later, her guest-spot with The Pogues on "Fairytale in New York," didn't hit the air as a tribute to her, but instead made U.K. headlines when some radio stations censored the word "faggot."
The song depicts a sparring couple at Christmas, and if this was a scene in a movie, nobody would think twice about it. It would be accepted for what it is; an artistic attempt at duplicating realistic dialogue:
"You're a bum, you're a punk!"
"You're an old slut on junk. Lying there almost dead on a drip in that bed."
"You scumbag, you maggot. You cheap lousy faggot
Happy christmas your arse I pray God its our last."
It's a grim, gritty song of hope and hopelessness, a sad and seriocomic slice of life revolving around another line in the song, "I've built my dreams around you." While it's not Edward Albee, the dialogue is valid and the intent is clear. The song is not about offending homosexuals.
In reporting the controversy, several newspapers reproduced the lyrics this way: "You scumbag, you maggot, you cheap lousy faggot. Happy christmas your a*** I pray God its our last." So they found "arse" a lot more offensive than "faggot!" Which is queer, because it's tough to be a faggot without some arse involved.
The song could've simply been resurrected for what it is; an accurate vignette on the unrest and anger that often accompanies the "joyous holiday time of year." It also could've been a salute to a lamented singer who died at 41. On Christmas holiday in Mexico, she managed to keep her sons out of the way of a joy-rider in a power boat when she was struck a fatal blow. Just who was driving that boat and what sentence should be imposed are unanswered questions.
For more on that story, please visit http://www.justiceforkirsty.org/
FAIRYTALE OF NEW YORK Download or listen on line. No porn ads or pop-ups.

Fred Flintstone & Betty Boop Xmas Single


Alan Reed voiced Fred Flintstone, and Mae Questel was both Olive Oyl and Betty Boop, but one Christmas, they simply used their own voices to narrate the 78 rpm children's song-story "Santa's Kewtee Bear."
This seven minute obscurity has disappeared for good reason. It's simply not that distinguished, not in the script, or the acting. Reed, a busy radio performer (he guested often on Fred Allen's show), hadn't developed his robust Flintstone voice yet. Questel had to smooth her Boops and cool her Oyl in playing the part of a cute teddy bear. It's odd, it's obscure, so it's here...
SANTA'S KEWTEE BEAR

Sunday, December 09, 2007

JESUS LOVES YOU. I DON'T - Danielle Peck


Danielle Peck's two-liner is hotter than her eye-liner. (That's Danielle, top right). It's pretty rare to find a Jesus country song that dares to mention Him in anything but a hymn, but the guy who caused a bushel of trouble for Peck is getting off lightly. Unlike the spitting ptooey of a "Harper Valley P.T.A."-type putdown, Danielle sings this kiss-off with just the right poisonous peck on the cheek.

"I Don't" is on the debut 2006 album from Danielle, which seems to be all she wrote so far. But if you pick up the album, you'll also enjoy the slightly saltier "It Sucks To Be You." Mostly Danielle's down home with usual C&W fare, such as "Honky Tonk Time" (all about how "tonight ain't about tomorrow...I just wanna have a good time").

What will happen on the second album of country-pop crossover, nobody yet knows, but here's a safe bet: don't cross this babe, 'cause you could end up on the cross, for sure.
JESUS LOVES YOU I DON'T

15 Versions of Personal Jesus


The illustration is by Lamar Peterson, an artist represented by Richard Heller (at the richardhellergallery dot com). But why not come up with 14 more visions of what a "Personal Jesus" might be. It's not like trying to depict Mohammed. Most Christians are secure enough to care only about their own relationship to Jesus, not yours.

Your download? Fifteen different versions of "Personal Jesus," a rather dark and menacing little number that seems to be about someone who may run a sincere hotline or is just another huckster preying on the gullible.
Since nobody checks lyrics much now that everything is mp3 downloads and there's no CD booklet, here are the words:
"Your own personal jesus. Someone to hear your prayers. Someone who cares...Someone who's there.

Feeling unknown and youre all alone. Flesh and bone by the telephone. Lift up the receiver. I'll make you a believer
Take second best put me to the test; things on your chest you need to confess. I will deliver you know I'm a forgiver..."

If you call this supposed representive of God, keep your pathetic yammering to yourself and DON'T do it from a cell phone. Don't bother everyone else, fer Chrissake.
You get a varied bunch of songs here, from lounge to cool femme jazz to heavy metal and rumbling rock...which will be YOUR personal favorite??
Followers of Mohammed may or may not get multiple virgins after they die, but on the illfolks blog, you often get multiple versions of a song. The Lord moves in mysterious ways.
15 Personal Jesus Covers

"Jesus I Love You" and she held out her eyes


Sadly, for all the good done by Christian or Islamic fundamentalists, or Orthodox Jews, or anyone else with a profound faith that makes them give of themselves...there's a Bizarro world of twisted fanatics who perform Devilish acts in the name of their God.
In "Voices," by The Nails, God tells various people what to do. Or are they listening to voices in their own minds?
(The ill-ustration, as with all photo collages on the blog, is an illfolks original, this one a mash of four or five different images.)
The Nails were a challenging, obnoxious band best known for a smug, surly, somewhat self-parodying stud song called "88 lines about 44 women." They also betrayed a dark Lou Reed side with grudging grunge ballads like "Hello Janine." They were at their glinting black vinyl blackest for "Dangerous Dreams," a 1986 effort produced by Pete Solley, who produced the Romantics and was aboard Procol Harum.
Pete still has a soft spot for his production of The Nails: "RCA completely dropped the ball, but the album lives on as my favorite flop."
"RCA didn't have a clue how to market us," a band member agrees, and the label "only pressed approximately 16,000 copies of this record before the bloodless coup where GE Corp. swallowed NBC Corp. (RCA's parent) whole, spitting out RCA (to BMG) and leaving us well, forgotten."
Wait, it gets worse. Their next album, an indie effort called "Corpus Christi," was a worse disaster. The producer "appropriated the rights and commenced to distribute the record and keep all the money. The record is in the catalogs of major national chains. Why don't we stop him. I'd like to but haven't been able to muster the necessary resource to do so." The album does have the great "Jesus Calling Jesus" cut, but don't buy it! The band member figures it would be better to get a free download somewhere. Like...their website, where you can also buy a lot of their stuff and sample much more: http://www.the-nails.com/disco.html.
Here's The Nails, a band that got screwed.
VOICES

RON NAGLE - 61 CLAY DEMO

By request, I restored the dormant Ron Nagle-Ry Cooder songs that were on this blog. Then I decided I might as well add something special, the "61 Clay" original demo.
Mr. Nagle continues to be sought after for his ceramic work, while crackpots still simmer over his "Bad Rice." Some seek it because Ry Cooder played on two tracks. Others, because it was produced by Jack Nitzsche. Fact is, the main reason it's a great album is because the songs were written and performed by Ron Nagle.
Check the very third post on the blog, from March '06 for the two "Bad Rice" songs. Here's...
RON NAGLE 61 CLAY DEMO