GRETA KELLER - She was the Wan

A sweet sorrow will comfort you hearing the voice of Greta Keller (1905-1977). Like viewing a daguerrotype of a beautiful woman, listening to Greta's singing brings a sense of a past that must have been glorious. Too bad you, or she, was born at the wrong time.

Rather than wax melancholic over the wax, discover for yourself the nostalgic niche occupied, perhaps to waning interest, by the interestingly wan Greta Keller. Perhaps it's Keller's lingering German accent that makes her interpretations bittersweet, the tremulous attention she gives toward interpreting the lyrics, or just the aura she presents as a world-weary and aging chanteuse on a dreary tour through smoke-filled nightclubs.

Madame Keller's private life, as her voice suggests, included a variety of traumas. The worst was the murder of her husband David Bacon, apparently while he was patronizing a gay brothel. He was vaguely known at the time for portraying The Masked Marvel in a movie serial. Pregnant at the time of the tragedy, Greta's child arrived stillborn.

In 1940 she opened "Chez Greta" at New York's Algonquin Hotel. Noel Coward, Gertrude Lawrence, Tallulah Bankhead, Greta Garbo, Cole Porter and Maurice Chevalier all toasted her as one of the best. In 1947 she opened a new "Chez Greta" in St. Moritz Switzerland and in 1960 returned to New York for two years at the Waldorf Astoria. She continued to tour the world through the 60's and early 70's, evoking nostalgia and stoking libidos. Her rendition of "Married" can be heard in the 1972 film "Cabaret."

Yes, that's her grave. The floating saucer with Greta's portrait has been added, along with the notes on the grave behind hers. Dietrich was more theatrical, Hildegarde evinced more humor, but the tender Greta Keller has a way with a sad song, and here are some of her most uplifting downers.

These are recordings from the 30's and 40's:

These Foolish Things
I Apologize
Blues In My Heart
All of Me
Just Friends
Did You Mean It?
They Can't Take that Away from Me
Thanks for the Memory
Once in a While
You Leave Me Breathless
So Little Time
Lights Out
Mine Alone
Remember Me
The Very Thought Of You
and even more.
Poignant stuff...and it'll be yours quick-as-Rapidshare. Download Keller...
You Won't Re-gret-a It.

Update: this one died due to Rapidshare's infamous "inactivity" purge in mid-October. But here's one song, at least. Instant gratification and no wait via Box.net upload:
They Can't Take That Away From Me (or you)

A RUDE MARTIN BRILEY SONG

Martin Briley is often accused of being a misanthrope when not labeled a misogynist. He was always satiric and misunderstood.

Shorthand: cross Moon Martin and Randy Newman. But unlike Moon, Martin's melodies aren't stuck in the 50's. Unlike Randy, Briley has a streamlined (and very British) sense of his own cool.

This song is typical 80's rock, with Briley seeming to compliment his slut-du-jour, all to a frantic masturbatory farfisa-type beat (off). Yeah, yeah, he's the guy in the beret scowling during "You Ain't Worth the Salt in My Tears," one of the first good MTV videos.

On every album (ok, he made 3) there was one viciously up-tempo funny tune. This is from his second album. On his first, the tune was "I Feel like a Milkshake" and it was covered by Peter Tork of The Monkees.

"She has an open mind, she's sweet and kind, but best of all, SHE'S SO FLEXIBLE, she never has to bend to be accessible..."

SHE'S SO FLEXIBLE!

KILLED AS A SWAN

"She looked like a swan! So I killed her..."
Think you could get off with that kind of defense? Wait till you hear "Molly Bond."
It's a tragic traditional folk song resuscitated by the Oysterband, longtime Celtic rockers on decades-worth of indie labels.
The story begins with a warning to hunters "that delight in a gun." This hunter made a fatal mistake: "Her apron flew around her. I took her as a swan. And I shot my own darling at the setting of the sun."
Yes:
"I shot my own darling, and where shall I run?"
What else would he sing after killing a woman thinking she was a huge swan? "Swaneeeee, how I love ya, how I love ya...."
The good news is that a judge might acquit...if the dead woman's ghost visits the courtroom and insists it was all a tragic accident.
Good ol' Celtic spookiness, and a far cry from the more mundane hunting accidents in other songs, such as Johnny Cash's "I Hung My Head."
Ready, aim... DOWNLOAD....or listen on line.

ZACHERLEY - THE COOL GHOUL

Now nearing 90, and looking the same as he did when he emerged in the late 1950's as cult tv's undead "Cool Ghoul," John Zacherle is a legend. He spliced himself into the old horror movies he was hosting, created a low budget world of support characters (one was pretty much a huge slab of gelatin) and laughed at his own bad horror puns with a cheerful barking yock. He got the cover of "Famous Monsters of Filmland" without making a film (although his records were sold in the back pages), had a novelty hit via "Dinner with Drac" and even covered "Monster Mash." After influencing Vampira, Elvira and dozens of other would-be horror TV hosts he miraculously went from East Coast TV phenom to rock disc jockey on WPLJ in New York. Very cool! That's just the merest thumbnail sketch, because I lost the actual thumb I was typing with! Ha...ha...yock....
Here's a sample of vintage and recent Zach tunes. He may not mean as much if you didn't grow up with him, but let's see if he can put a Sardonicus-grin on the pusses of total strangers.
The lucky 13 download includes "Coolest Little Monster," "Sure Sign of Spring," "Transylvania PTA," "Graverobbing Tonight," "Formaldehyde" and even a cover of Tom Petty's "Zombie Zoo."
"Foam at the mouth via your RABIDshare download, my dear. Ha ha...."

BATMAN julie newmar frank gorshin

The 60's Batman show still packs some pow.
Here's an audio wallop: Batman stars, themes and tribute songs. Since books have actually been written about the show, there's no need to further explain things here, and since folks just want to download, I'll spare you my anecdotes about various cast members I knew and know.
"THE RIDDLER" by Frank Gorshin. He was the most manic and memorable of all villains. As an impressionist, he shared a classic "Ed Sullivan Show" with the Beatles. Without his personality the gags here would make anyone gag.
ILL FOLKS BAT-MEDLEY.Bearing in mind that a novelty tune can lose it's novelty even halfway through, here's an Ill folks montage that gives you a smooth sampling of: Adam West's overly bouncy "Miranda," a bit of Burgess "The Penguin" Meredith in a musical narration about his nemesis, and then Jan and Dean who washed up onto shore for "The Joker is Wild." It segues into the real Joker in a bit of dialogue from the show.
This bops and echoes into Cesar Romero seriously giving a "Thought for Today."
Holy Attention Deficit Disorder! See if you can last the six minutes! Not "seven minutes." You know what Irving Wallace figured was a much better way of spending seven minutes.
"JULIE NEWMAR" a tribute song! The purrfect alloy of beauty and brains, and the erotic and the comic, Julie is one of the most unique women on this or any other planet. She deserves a bit better than this effort from the dim 40 Watt band, but Walter Egan set the bar very high years ago with his humorous fanboy worship tune "Tuesday Weld."

Batty Ill folks! Instant download or listen on line. Bat-fan montage!
Julie Newmar tribute song Instant download or listen on line.
Frank Gorshin Offers bad jokes as The Riddler!

ILL FOLKS MUSIC REQUEST PHOTO

Here's Khan Jeh-Stet, miming his request for two Alan Parsons Project songs: "Eye in the Sky" and "You're Gonna Get Your Fingers Burned." What a master of hand-eye-nose coordination.
Two songs in one download for you! Is this the missing link between music and mucous? Some say it is, some say it's snot.
These quick links don't last long so get this nine-minute epic instantly:
http://www.sendspace.com/file/7u2dxc
or
http://www.megaupload.com/?d=7Z5DS4JQ

TEEN TRAUMA & DRAMA

TEEN TRAUMA AND DRAMA
(Yes, the photo enlarges if you click on it. But do you want that?)
Death was an obsession with teens of the late 50's and early 60's. Morbid music and monster movies became a fad. While there have always been grim pop songs from "Gloomy Sunday" to "D.O.A." somehow, dying was just so much more entertaining, during this era!
The day the music died...was every day on the radio back then.
Bobby Darin snapped his fingers and sang of bodies oozing life. Heck, "The Cheers" recorded a motorcycle wreck song. How cheerful! The answer song to all these deathly singles, "Let's Think About Living," paled next to the morbid numbers that we all found as endearing as fresh flowers on a well-kept grave.
You get the usual motorcycle wrecks and grim songs of dead people ("Tragedy" by The Excellents, "Dead!" by Carolyn Sullivan) and even a few morbid and weird C&W ditties.
Here's Lloyd Price, Mark Dinning, The Shangri-Las, Twinkle, Jody Reynolds, Dickey Lee, Ray Peterson, The Cheers and more...
Use the comments feature to ruminate on faves I've left out (like "Laurie/Strange Things Happen" or "Ode To Billie Joe") or just download these downers and rest in peace:
1. Teen Angel
2. Tell Laura I Love Her
3. Endless Sleep
4. Patches
5. Last Kiss
6. Leader of the Pack
7. Dead Man's Curve
8. Black Denim Trousers
9. Terry
10. I Can Never Go Home Anymore
11. Stagger Lee
12. Tragedy
13. Dead!
14. Me and Little Andy
15. El Paso


Downloading this? "Look out, Look out, Look out!"

AM I BEAUTIFUL? AM I USABLE?

Those eyes, those lips...that voice?
We wish our screen goddesses could do it all. With us! If you're looking for perfection, stick it in your ear. See if the voices measure up to the bodies and faces. These women are fairly obscure ill folks as far as the music world is concerned.
Here's Tina Louise doing "I'm in the Mood for Love," Marilyn Monroe (arguably the prototype for Tina's "Gilligan's Island" movie star doing "I Wanna Be Loved By You," and Brigitte Bardot joined by Serge Gainsbourg on the "J'Taime" demo (later re-done with Jane Birken, perhaps more prone to surprised gasps and groans than BB).
Mamie van Doren duets with June Wilkinson, Jayne Mansfield does a "Big Bopper" answer song, and you also get Raquel Welch's attempt at singing.
Oh...and "Am I beautiful/am I usable" is copped from AFI's Davey Havok and the song "The Killing Lights."

RAQUEL WELCH
JAYNE MANSFIELD
TINA LOUISE
MAMIE VAN DOREN
MARILYN MONROE
BRIGITTE BARDOT

BOBBING FOR BASEBALLS

That former Phil Ochs rival BOB DYLAN has a fondness for Ill Folks...obscure, unfamiliar singers on the other side of fame. On his new radio series, at least half the numbers are intended to shine a light on these great talents. His baseball show includes people you probably never heard of: Buddy Johnson ("Did You See Jackie Robinson Hit That Ball"), Winona Carr ("Life is a Ball Game") and Johnny Darling ("Baseball Baby"). There are some famous folks, too, like The Treniers, Chance Halladay and the Teddy Brannon Orchestra.
In case you missed it, here's Bob narrating a neat collection of songs about the National Pastime. Too bad he missed a few like:
You Anaheim Angel You, Lay Lady Lay Down a Bunt, One Too Many Innings, As I Struck Out One Morning, Blind Umpire McTell and Can You Please Crawl Out Your Window And Get My Ball For Me?
Take Me Out to The.... BOB-O'-LINK

I WAS EXECUTED BY MY GOVERNMENT

Sometimes an obscure person becomes famous by getting executed. The four cases presented here led to songs that have immortalized the mere mortal.
What's your view on the death penalty?
Should it never be used? Is it better or crueler to let someone rot in a tiny cell? Perhaps the death penalty should be reserved only for cases of premeditated murder or mass murder, such as Lennon's killer or The Son of Sam (both residing rather comfortably in New York State).
The four cases here involve an alleged rapist who never killed anyone, a druggie who went nuts with a murderous boyfriend, a guy whose partner killed a cop, and a somewhat slow man who was innocent and framed by the real killer.
CARYL CHESSMAN (top left) was a career criminal, but his rap sheet had nothing on it similar to the masked "Red Light Bandit," who robbed motorists and sexually assaulted female passengers. Caught in a car with a red light (simulating a police car's light) and unwilling to say who was using the car besides himself, Chessman was convicted of multiple felonies including kidnapping (for dragging a woman out of a car against her will). In California, kidnapping could be punished by death. And it was. Chessman fought an amazing battle to stay alive and wrote a best-selling autobiography while on death row. After many years, he finally died because a secretary mis-dialed the warden's office and the latest stay of execution was received too late. Some say a rapist deserves death, and a career criminal is no loss. Two country songs challenged the death penalty in the Chessman case (as did celebrities around the world). Should Chessman have died?
KARLA FAYE TUCKER was white trash in Texas, a teen groupie with the Allman Brothers Band, later a heroin addict and prostitute. She lived in a slum where everyone did drugs, and a Harley dripping oil and stinking of fumes was safer in the house than outside. Karla hated the guy who owned the Harley, especially since he routinely beat his wife (a friend of Karla's). Karla and her latest boyfriend planned on wrecking the guy's bike, but after a binge of drugs, they beat the guy to a pulp, along with his latest girlfriend, who had been hiding in the darkness. In prison, Tucker was apparently "born again," and many insisted her early environment had much to do with her crime. If various bloody female followers of Manson could escape the death penalty, how about a reprieve for Karla? After 15 years on death row could anyone say she was the same person she once was? Her pleas for mercy were ignored by Gov. George W. Bush who declared: "Karla Faye Tucker has acknowledged she is guilty of a horrible crime. She was convicted and sentenced by a jury of her peers. The role of the state is to enforce our laws...May God bless Karla Faye Tucker and may God bless her victims and their families." The two songs here trace her pathetic life leading up to the crime. Should a messed up woman's one night of brutality mean execution?
In Great Britain, Tim Evans died in 1950 and Derek Bentley in 1953. Ewan MacColl wrote protest songs after the executions, focusing on the glaring injustices in both high-profile cases.
TIM EVANS (lower left), his wife and child, lived uncomfortably in a poor walk-up apartment. Their arguments were heard by a neighbor, Dr. Christie. When the police found the body of Mrs. Evans, and the child, Tim was long gone, on the advice of the good doctor. Frightened during interogation, and not having much to live for, he confessed. Then he recanted. Ewan Maccoll's brilliant song (alternately called "Go Down Ye Murderer") seems to follow, with justifiable vengeance, the execution of a murderer. Should Evans, with a previous clean record and protests of innocence, have gotten the death penalty?
Teens DEREK BENTLEY and Chris Craig were just a pair of Croydon punks. During a warehouse burglary gone wrong, they were stopped by a policeman. Craig waved his gun. Bentley shouted, "Let him have it, Chris." Meaning, hand over the gun? Craig chose the slang meaning, and shot the cop dead. He was a bit under the legal age for a hanging, but not Bentley. Though he had not fired the gun, Derek was deemed just as guilty as Craig. MacColl's song seethes over the boy's death while the chorus grimaces at the comic books and violent films that "educated" the young criminals. Elvis Costello re-visited the case and wrote his own version decades later. Should Bentley, or anyone, get the death penalty when they haven't actually killed anyone? Chris Craig served ten years in jail and has not been in trouble with the law since.


CARYL CHESSMAN - Ronnie Hawkins
CARYL CHESSMAN - Country Johnny Mathis
KARLA FAYE - Mark Knopfler
KARLA FAYE - Mary Gauthier
BALLAD OF TIM EVANS - Karan Casey
BALLAD OF TIM EVANS - Ivy League Trio
GO DOWN YE MURDERER - PADDY REILLY
BENTLEY AND CRAIG - Ewan MacColl
LET HIM DANGLE - Elvis Costello

WHICH WAY TO HAPPY?

Here's a bunch of songs of depressing, bitter, mordant and cynical songs for ill folks from lesser known ill folks and famous folks who found their bank accounts get lighter thanks to the dark material.
Since this IS the illfolks blog, there's no point adding well-known miserable folk like Leonard Cohen or Morrissey or Charles Aznavour, nor sensitive guys that killed themselves, or famous sad songs (that say so much).

The Television Personalities - Sick Again
You've never heard of them and you never will. That's 'cause they're sick. They also seem to have set their Casio keyboard to violin and accordion simultaneously, which will make your cat cry. Thanks guys, for the musical equivalent of an IV drip.

Anna Ternheim - To Be Gone
Anna's a depressed Swede who sings pretty tunes with suicidal tendencies: "Leave the body, leave the mind...I just happen to feel so alone....I just wanna be gone." Her accent is thick enough to make "body" sound "bawdy..." Sad girls ARE sexy, especially when they're trying to shuck off their mortal coil via a bossa nova shuffle.

Lee Hazlewood & Nancy Sinatra - She Won't
A twangy dirge...a portent that Lee & Nancy Volume 3 was not going to be a hit. Did they know that their album would not even get a U.S. or U.K. release?

Mary McCaslin and Jim Ringer - Oh Death
Traditional folk music is as close to a death experience as you get in life.

Jerry Yester-Judy Henske - Mrs. Connor
Yester was briefly with The Association. Here he sings lead on a moody number with lyrics from then-wife Judy Henske: "When death comes for Mrs. Connor, he will lay his heavy leg on her and groan." Necrophilia at its best. No wonder Andrew Vachss is a Henske fan.

Anna Singt - Gloomy Sunday
The famous Hungarian suicide song, which did indeed lead to documented suicides continues to be covered by new generations of depressives. Anna and coffin-sized piano.

Thea Gilmore - Everybody's Numb
Get the zeitgeist...they will soon be selling a topical anesthetic you massage into the scalp. Thea has plenty more where this came from.

Pamela Morgan - It Ain't Funny
No, it isn't. This one's about the economic woes of fishermen...in an age when most fish is now farm-raised and bad for you.

Mary Gauthier - I Drink
It's almost cheating to include a country song like this, but Mary is a crossover artist. She's cross over country music, pop music, ballads, and most everything else. A balladeer for the mental dust bowl.


Mathilde Santing - Wonderful Life
With an opening guitar riff unwittingly referencing the start of "Suicide is Painless," Santing floats in to assure us, "no need to run and hide." Except this minor key ballad is as lively as a beached jellyfish. "Don't give up," Kate Bush sang, but she hadn't heard this kind of optimism.

Eva Cassidy - Ain't No Sunshine
Sad songs say so much...and so does the way there's been a cottage industry mourning a pretty blonde singer who died young.

Beth Nielsen Carpenter & John Hiatt - World of Hurt
The truth: "It's a world of hurt, nothin' works. It's a lonely little planet made of dust and dirt. Who'd ever think that in the midst of this, something as beautiful as love exists?" Yeah? For how long? See "Hurt" by Trent Reznor and look under "dirt, my empire of."

The Magic Numbers - Which Way to Happy?
Sort of a gay Leonard Cohen with a wan chick singing in the background, and a vibe of being totally wilted. Nice. All too often, artists now go from total unknowns to superstars via a debut album! But are they happy? No? Good.

Townes Van Zandt - Waiting Around to Die
No longer an accurate title.

Kendra Smith (of Big Star) - Holocaust
Why rhyme moon and June when you can open with: "Your eyes are almost dead. Can't get out of bed..."

Randy Newman - It's a Jungle Out There
As usual, he's tap dancing on the edge, and really, if you can't find humor in impending disaster, then you might as well be Morrissey. This pungent one minute theme song is for a TV show involving a germ-phobic Arab.




To reference Jann Arden and Sheryl Crow...Happy? If it makes you happy...
download here
And if you just want a quickie from Mathilde Santing...
WONDERFUL LIFE

PROCOL HARUM IN HELL

September 14, 2001 concert at the Hell Blues Festival, Norway.

Only two men remained from the original 1967 band. You see them here, in photos from the Hell concert. Singer/pianist Gary Brooker and Matthew Fisher are now locked in a legal dispute over Fisher's uncredited contribution of the famous organ solo that opens "Whiter Shade of Pale."

Procol's muscular rock music was in contrast to the ill lyrics of Keith Reid, whose Dylan-influenced words self-admittedly "wallowed in a morass" that darkly verged on pretentiousness. Their few chart hits involved a woman turning from ghostly to a "A Whiter shade of Pale" (dead) and the grim philosophizing over the corpse of a "Conquistador." Focused on destruction, torment and painful self-consciousness with mere glimpses toward nirvana, Procol's hardest rocking songs bubble in a cauldron of bile ("Piggy Pig Pig" and "Bringing Home the Bacon") and are steaming with wretched excess ("Whiskey Train") or angry angst ("Typewriter Torment"). Their prettiest songs tend to be eerie ("Salty Dog"), decadent ("Grand Hotel") or filled with semi-disguised put-downs ("Homburg"). There's not a song in this set that does not have an undercurrent of pessimism, anger or despair.

Any band critically praised for a blend of classical music, eclectic lyrics and R&B blues is bound to suffer, especially one with an intellectual name (Latin for "Beyond these Things") so Procol Harum remains beyond fame, often written off as a one-hit (or two-hit, counting "Conquistador") wonder. Concert Note: This is one of those times when The Commodore chooses to sing the "extra verse" omitted from the original "A Whiter Shade of Pale." Morbid Note: the band pronounces its last name "Horrum," closer to horror than a harem.

Procol Harum Live Concert? Go to... OH, it's HELL, Folks!

THE AVENGERS & GET SMART

Honor Blackman (see April 19th posting) was the only 60's femme spy to release a whole album: "Everything I've Got." Here's another song to honor Blackman. Plus...
Some contemporaries tried for the singles charts.
Barbara Feldon, known for a sexy growl in hair-care commercials, and then "Get Smart," made references to both via "99."
When Linda Thorson joined The Avengers, sixties in full swing, she swung. Tara King could do one thing better than Emma Peel: sing a pop song. Of course, Emma would never have considered such a thing.
Always the trouper, when Diana Rigg, actress, was required to be nude on stage, she was nude. When she was required to sing, she sang. "Forget Yesterday" was recorded in 1972 during her run in "Jumpers."
And later she sang the number below, "Could I Leave You" in a Sondheim musical.
It's a slim entry because if Anne "Honey West" Francis and Stefanie "Girl from UNCLE" Powers sang, they kept it a secret. Maybe in the shower, only...
Honor sings EVERYTHING I'VE GOT
Diana Rigg
Linda Thorson
BARBARA FELDON sings 99

ANGEL OF THE MORNING - A DOZEN ANGELS

12 versions of ANGEL OF THE MORNING

When premarital sex was still a very troubling "sin," this tune turned up, just a hot skip and a hump away from "Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow." Progress: THIS girl thinks she can have a devilishly good time all night and still be an "angel of the morning."
Especially since a man wrote this: Chip Taylor, offering an alibi for chippies.
Saintly martyr Merilee's Rush to judge her one-night-stand:
"There's no need to take a stand for it was I who chose to start. I see no reason to take me home. I'm old enough to face the dawn...Just call me angel of the morning...Then slowly turn away from me."

Even Humphrey Bogart couldn't follow that instruction without busting a gut laughing. "You're good, angel, very good. Now I'll slowly turn away, and you can leave...and I'll change the sheets..."
More from this sanctimonious slut:
"If morning's echo says we've sinned. Well, it was what I wanted now. And if we're victims of the night. I won't be blinded by the light. Just call me angel of the morning."
Can I just call you a cab and sleep an extra hour?
"A pretty dirge, is like a melody..." Share a load with:
Chrissie Hynde
Merilee Rush (original and re-make)
Joya Landis
Barbara Jones
Skeeter Davis
P.P. Arnold
Shaggy
Juice Newton, etc. etc.
The song ends with this:
"I wont beg you stay with me. Through the tears! Of the days! Of the years!"
OK, bitch, bye!


Get lucky. Download the ANGELS

Update November 2011: A few songs have been re-upped individually:

NINA SIMONE
PERCY FAITH

25 WINDMILLS OF YOUR MIND

Ever have a tune keep playing over and over in your brain?
That's 'cause...there are WINDMILLS in your mind. Really. And they respond especially well to catchy kitsch.
Seemingly put together as a homework assignment for Similes 101, "Windmills of Your Mind" offered spooky psychedelia via the French version of Mancini, Mr. Michel Legrand, and English words supplied by middle-aged hack lyricists Alan & Marilyn Bergman. They toss snowballs down a mountain and think the world is "like an apple whirling silently in space."
First line sets our theme:
ROUND.
The lyrics get so numbing Jazz singer Carmen Lundy mistakenly sings of a "clock whose hands are SLEEPING" past the minutes of its face.
The song seems to be saying that as endless as the world is, life isn't and love isn't.
Actual lyric variation: you have a choice of "when you knew that it was over you were suddenly aware that the autumn leaves were turning to the color of her hair," OR, "when you knew that it was over in the autumn of goodbyes, for the moment you could not recall the color of his eyes." The latter is represented here by Ms Lefeber.
Years ago, comedian Frank Fay made a living satirizing the lyrics of pop tunes like "Tea for Two." It's a cruel trick. A cheap trick. So we'll surrender any further impulse to insult.
Fact is, the song's circles and spirals and wheels are kind of mesmerizing, they are "words that jangle in your head" (a nod to Bob's Tambourine Man perhaps). Like some Dylan tunes, notably "Lenny Bruce," there are some good lines jammed against bad ones. In Bob's case, in that song, it was "they stamped him and they labeled him, like they do with pants and shirts" followed by the good "he fought a war on a battlefield where every victory hurts." Here, a cliche about lovers leaving footprints in the sand is followed by: "Is the sound of distant drumming
just the fingers of your hand?" Not too shabby. There are also some effective and eerie images: "Like a tunnel that you follow to a tunnel of its own..." or "Like a door that keeps revolving in a half-forgotten dream." Like, you gotta like that.
Like, listen for yourself. Over and over.
You get 25 different versions (five are French, known as Les Moulins de mon Coeur) including Legrand, Frida Boccara, Dorothy Ashby, Mathilde Santing, Paul Muriat, James Galway and of special interest, the top 10:
1. Psychedelic and slow: Vanilla Fudge
2. Eerie border colic: Baja Marimba Band
3. Oliver Twists: Trinity Boys Choir
4. Disco Dizziness: Sally Anne Marsh
5. A gargle of goo: Jim Nabors
6. Swanky swinging: Judith Lefeber
7. Vintage French Fluff: Vicky Leandros
8. Scat with Scuffy Grapelli-style Violin: Carmen Lundy
9. Accapella Angst: The Lettermen
10. How Elton Might've Done It: Jose Feliciano

Go Dutch: Here's the WINDMILLS OF YOUR MIND

For the full lyrics, homage to Dusty Springfield and a spooky photo, see: Lady Jayes's Page

SPIKE JONES TRANNIES

Racially incorrect, obsessively fond of burps, and totally driven by a desire to "depreciate" good music, Spike Jones had some novelty 78rpm hits. For a while. He even had his own radio show and TV series. Briefly. Very briefly. His film career is basically the hard to find "Fireman Save My Child" (1954) an Abbott & Costello movie ultimately made by Hugh O'Brian and Buddy Hackett and re-worked to also star Jones (but not Barbara Walters).
Now regarded as a comic genius, his RCA sides consistently in print for 60 years, Jones got laughs doing everything from setting fire to a woman ("My Old Flame") to blowing raspberries at Hitler ("Der Fuehrer's Face"). His touring show gave audiences a chance to roar over clothing louder than the music and a never-ending parade of goofy sight gags involving pants falling down and midgets running around.
Never quite respected in his lifetime for his ill winds and sickly strings, Spike and his "City Slickers" may have gotten a bit further than more Opry-esque artists like the Hoosier Hot-Shots, but remained a "novelty act," one best known for recordings in the late 40's.
Slogging into the 60's, road-warrior Jones grimly declared that rock music was beyond satire. He had low-selling albums on Verve and Liberty, and the brilliant "Spike Jones in Stereo" concept album didn't impress anyone either. He even tried to "go straight" with "His New Band." As The Beatles burned up the charts Spike smoked himself into an early grave. He was 54. He died on May 1st, 1965.
A new generation might know Spike Jonze better than the original, and have no idea who "Chloe" was (or that this song was even a parody), but many still treasure the breathtaking bravado of "the band that played for fun," led by a square-headed Cagney look-alike who could chew gum and conduct music at the same time, often bouncing his baton off the floor and back into his fist.

Since the RCA stuff is easy to find, here are some "trannies" to give a better idea of Spike's live sound. Transcription discs and radio moments show off Spike's big band as well as his cheerfully grotesque sensibilities, which included ethnic stereotypes during wartime.
By the Beautiful Sea
Liebestraum
Horsey Keep Your tail Up
Oh By Jingo
Red Wing
Der Fuehrer's Face
Never Hit Your Grandma with a Shovel
You're a Sap, Mr. Jap
Pack Up Your Troubles
Down in Jungle Town
Come Josephine in my Flying Machine
St-St-St-Stella

Spike Jones Trannies HERE

RON NAGLE -Mystery Trend- DUROCS

The three phases of Ron Nagle's negligibly-appreciated rock career are zipped for your inspection.
The Mystery Trend? They were one of many West Coast groups exploring hard rock and psych. How to compete with the Alarm Clocks, Peanut Butter and Airplanes and Prunes out there? Good question. Cashing in on that trend remained a mystery to these guys. Nagle wrote most of the music and lyrics, but didn't sing nearly enough.
The thickly annotated CD booklet delves into the history of this elusive group while the disc itself contains just about everything the boozin' bloozin' band did (which until now, was mostly unreleased). You get 21 tracks on the CD. 2 are zipped here as samples.
Next?
Ron Nagle his own self.
Somehow he got a solo deal with WB. Somehow the now-legendary Jack Nitzsche produced it and Ry Cooder played on it (on two tracks I posted some months ago, still archived). Truly ill art-work and tepidly trepidatious reviews didn't help Ron join Randy Newman and Van Dyke Parks on the "let's keep putting more of the guy's albums out till something happens" list at Warner.
Stereo Review opined, "Nagle's hard-edged voice (like Neil Young's) is not really pleasant to listen to...The songs are really the album's strongest point, a couple of them rather political without being propagandistic, and most of them with sharp insights." But..."this sort of thing has been done before and better, of course, by Gary Wright and Dennis Linde to take two extremes." The reviewer went on to complain about the "muddy" sound.
Included in the zip is a ballad showcasing Ron's "not really pleasant" voice straining over the pathos as "Frank's Store" burns to the ground. This artful slice of mundane life documents a poor dumb soul and the worthless dump that was all he had.
"Family Style" is a stumbling romp about mother picking up coins with her vagina, mysterious Uncle Frank (not Jimmy Kimmel's Uncle Frank), and a brother stepping on a parakeet. It's just your typical dysfunctional family. Remember, this is 1970! No wonder people thought the guy was ill and left him and his LP "Bad Rice" alone.
Ron Nagle traded his rice for popcorn. He started producing sound effects for movies. A March 23, 1977 newspaper review for "The Sorcerer" noted the sounds of "the buzzing of honey bees, the squealing of pigs in a slaughterhouse and a girl's stomach rumbles were recorded by rock composer Ron Nagle...Director Billy Friedkin asked Nagle to do the work after he had such happy returns from another film for which Nagle did special effects, 'The Exorcist.'"
A few years later, Nagle and a cohort gave rock one last try and became "The Durocs," taking their name from a species of (chauvanist?) pig known for large genitalia. (No kidding, this is even mentioned in the Capitol press release).The samples (side one's five tracks) should help you decide whether to add DUROCS to your want list as you cruise the bargain bins. Sorry, I burned the CD a long time ago, didn't write the track titles down, and can't find the album in my sty. I did nose around but all I got was a stye in my eye. And God knows the truffles I've seen.
The last Durocs track is a cover of Gene Pitney's "It Hurts To Be In Love" which they give the wall-of-ham full-boar treatment.
Give the duo points for opening the album with pig grunts and an opening track referencing themselves and how the gals should go "hog wild" for 'em. Perhaps one day Nagle's solo "Bad Rice" will be get a CD release with a suitably commercial cover. Probably not this one:


Nine-ish Nagles
Update: the rapidshare.de link has died of old age.

Re-upped:

RON NAGLE 61 Clay w/ Ry Cooder
RON NAGLE Marijuana Hell w/ Ry Cooder

HONOR BLACKMAN SINGS

I AM PUSSY GALORE...HEAR MY ROAR. AND PURR.

Some find "celebrities who sing" awfully funny. 

Don't laugh at Honor Blackman. First of all, she'll beat the crap out of you. Even now. Second, when she recorded her lone album in late 1964, "Everything I've Got," she acknowledged in the liner notes that she was not a professional singer, was asked to give it a try (coming off her James Bond film fame) and so, what the fuck (I'm not quoting exactly) she did.

And she did good. Mostly.


No surprise that her most effective tracks were more spoken than sung, most notably a fierce and passionate reading of Charles Aznavour's venomously sulky "Tomorrow Is My Turn."

Like an actress working in Broadway musicals rather than a professional singer working in nightclubs (Gwen Verdon, Angela Lansbury and Chita Rivera would all be in that latter category) Honor Blackman puts over a tune with panache if not pitch-perfection. Show tunes with strong lyrics and a mild octave range shimmered under her sultry breath. Less successful, but kind of cute, is her attempt at pop via "World Without Love."

As Gomez Addams used to say: "That's FRENCH!" 

And so one must say "Merci" rather than "Mercy!" when this gutsy woman chose to take a shot at "C'est Droll," c'est seriously.
Here's fascinating Honor Blackman, who puts a bit of a thrill in the ill category of celebrity cash-in singing albums. 

Your four tracks in the zip file:
To Keep My Love Alive (murderous black humor from Broadway)
C'Est Drole (half spoken, half sad)
Tomorrow Is My Turn (easily the best version of this Aznavour grunt)
World Without Love (please...lock me away...)


Here's 4 From Galore

TOWN WITHOUT PITY - 8 Cover Versions

The bump and grind melody was sleazy, and the overwrought lyrics almost burlesque, a barely relevant tune stuck into a movie about a gang rape...one started by Gomer Pyle's Sgt. Carter (Frank Sutton) and ended with a guilt-ridden Robert Blake covering the nude body.

The tune is gruesomely fascinating...a song full of self-pity but also raging "like tigers in a cage," a number begging for mercy while the music struts and slinks with a brazen beat. Despite Gene Pitney's brilliant original performance (where most of the lyrics about eager lips and living on a granite planet were as smeared as lipstick on a collar) many have been drawn to cover it.

The music is just that powerful, and the message that dramatic. In the film, towards the end, the reason for the title is finally evident. This IS a town without pity, showing a cruel "she was asking for it, he was an idiot" attitude toward the hapless couple that were fumbling around with their hormones until interrupted by four American soldiers. But mostly the movie is not about the town or the angst of the victims, but about the trial of the soldiers (as defended by Kirk Douglas).

With a life of its own (the film struggled to get a DVD release) the song "Town Without Pity" has a much more rabid following, and here, the multiplying rabbits include
The punkish DICKIES
The doo-wop NYLONS
A big band try from BRIAN SETZER
Slow balladeering by MATHILDE SANTING
A female in heat take from MANDY BARNETT
A strange, almost off key shot by JAMES CHANCE...and 2 more.

Here's a Pitiless Eight Pack

Update November 2011: You can sing the damn song yourself...here's a Karaoke version, upped individually:

Here's a KARAOKE - TOWN WITHOUT PITY ...version without Pitney

HASIL ADKINS : ROCKABILLY HOTDOG

It was a year ago this month (April 25th) that Hasil Adkins died at the age of 67. "NO MORE HOT DOGS."

While he recorded much semi-normal rockabilly garage stuff, it's "No More Hot Dogs" that earns him a spot in the Ill Folks Hall of Fame. With maniac laughter Hasil sings about cutting the head off some rockafilly so she can't eat no more hot dogs. You get the idea that just up the road from Adkins was Ed Gein.

A one-man band, Hasil (pronounced Hassle, but called "Haze" by his friends) seemed to live on the cheap, tour on the cheap, and like many a genius savant, got cult status rather than a generous paycheck.

Manic stuff, rockabilly stuff...you get a whole lotta doo-dahs zipped for your download:

"NO MORE HOT DOGS" and 15 other wild songs from HASIL ADKINS