BOB DILDYN RADIO THEME HOUR : VAGINA

Premiering the same day as the release of "Modern Times," the BOB DILDYN RADIO THEME HOUR offers a compilation of songs about the Vagina.

Bob's cogent commentary on "the mighty quim" prefaces many of the selections, which include:

It's All Right It Won't Bite
Cameltoe
Pretty Purple Panties

Shave 'em Dry
My Girl's Pussy
Red River Sally
We Are the Tampons
Rotten Fish
My Vagina
Step Inside Love
I'm a Lesbian
The Pussy Cat Song

As well as Bob's own "When Dogs Run, Freak," which evidently is on his Debasement Tapes release. As John McEnroe used to say about cable radio, "You can NOT be SIRIUS!"


Bob Dildyn!

French is a Loving Tongue

Here's a lot of French-singing ladies from Canada, France and Europe. It's a pretty smooth and lush collection. No distracting ye-ye girls, no punque babes, not even the gurgling trill of Piaf. The idea is not to necessarily give you an overview of every popular French babe, but a good compilation album of fun covers, as well as moody and exotic and erotic originals.

1. Carole Laure. Nyuk, a Canuck. "Save The Last Dance for Me" in French. Primarily a sexy actress, she began recording in the 70's, so her albums wouldn't quite be ancient volumes of forgotten Laure.

2. Francine Laine. I don't believe she was named after Frankie Laine. Have you ever had a French girl talking urgently and emotionally to you? Me neither. This may fulfill your fantasies: "Moi Sensuelle." Your imagination may be better than the real lyrics.

3. Annie Villeneuve. "Tomber a l'eau." I was drawn to any song with "Tomber" in it, till I learned it has nothing to do with tombs. It's one of the catchiest pieces of power pop I've heard in years. She's Canadian. She makes me want to go over the border.

4. Julie. Why go by one name? It makes an Internet search impossible. I found this on a compilation lp of French hits. "Maria Magdalene" may be a religious tune but it has a nice bossa nova rhythm to it. It also has a timeless quality. Meaning, I don't know when it was recorded. I could do without the guys in the backing chorus but it's too late to do anything about it.

5. Marie LaForet. "Marie Douceur (Paint it Black)." In the 60's she was a stunner, the kind you'd buy just for the album cover. And yes, she could sing, too.

6. Nicole Rieu. "Have You Never Been Mellow" in French? "Me Maison Au Bord de L'eau"

7. Dalida wasn't French or Canadian, but sang very often in French. The selected tune, a polished Abba-esque commercial pop piece, will get you bouncing your baguette. The song is "Mourir su scene." At the time I figured any song with "Mourir" in it had to be morbid in some way. OK, she's dead, that's morbid.

8. Jane Birkin. "Le Sex Shop." You all know their more obvious and orgasmic hit single (which is on the blog in the Bardot version, elsewhere) so here's another Serge Gainsbourg duet, the one that ended a film's humorous if slightly melancholy look at a guy's brief entry into the skin trade.

9. Zizi Jeanmaire. A legendary old broad. This is a Serge Gainsbourg song nastily called "Merde a l'amour," and it's sung in a vaudevillian way. You can just imagine the visual, a cakewalk on a street full of dog poop. Or am I romanticizing?

10. Maurane. No, that isn't a weather forecast, that's her name. "Prelude de Bach" takes a classical theme into lush territory (ie, a saloon where you'll drink and sob imagining your own sad translation).

11. Monique Gaube. "To Sir With Love" in French. You'd take a French lesson from this teacher.

12. Christien Pilzer. "Dracula." This was 40 years ago. Why she was singing about le vampire is probably a buried secret by now.

13. France Gall. "Resiste." Do you have the gall to resist a woman who is such a credit to France?

14. Veronique Sanson. "Longue Distance." In France, she is a living legend, as huge there as Carly or Joni was here in the 70's and 80's. Her great melodies were spiced with Island rhythms at times, and flirtations with syncopation. In America she's vaguely known as "wasn't she married to Stephen Stills?"

15. Sandrine Kiberlain. "Le quotid." This heartbreaker is also an actress, and she starred in the cult film "Monsieur Hire" as, what else, a heartbreaker. Based on aGeorge Simenon story, the mystery is moody, erotic and being French, depressing.

16. Mylene Farmer. "L'amour n'est rien." She took her last name as an homage to Frances Farmer. She's written a song about Edgar A. Poe. Her videos are strange, erotic, and often gothic. I could write endlessly about her, with a pen dipped in blood.

17. Francoise Hardy. "Tant de belles choses." The trifecta of French pop superstars
would be Francoise, Veronique and Mylene over the past 40 years. They overlap, and if you're listening or watching them, you'd overlap, too.

18. Julie Zenatti. "Toutes Les Couleurs." We end with some sweet French pastry.

Various ladies could be here, including Lara Fabian, Zazie, Nathalie Cordonne, Alizee, the duo of Lily Margot, Vanessa Paradis, etc. etc.. So, assemble your own compilation and upload it, nu?

That's FRENCH! Via Rapidshare

And if you want a quick pick-me-up, here's the sprightly Dalida pop tune:
Instant Download or listen on line.

CARROLL O'CONNOR - Remembering You

"It's all over now." I mean, the controversies over "All in the Family," where Carroll O'Connor and cast had to defend their show against charges of promoting bigotry. Today, the show is remembered, and still watched, as a "classic." Though so much praise went to Carroll O'Connor he modestly said his "Archie Bunker" character was merely a cross between Jimmy Cagney and Jackie Gleason.

During the run of "All in the Family," O'Connor was inspired to write lyrics for Roger Kellaway's closing theme song. The opening sentiment: "Gotta feeling it's all over now, all over now, we're through. And tomorrow I'll be lonesome remembering you..."

He got a chance to record this wistful number on an album called "Remembering You," a collection of 30's hits with spoken introductions for each song. As you download this and play the opening line, "It's all over now..." may the memories of all the great work Carroll O'Connor did come back to you. It's a good song, too. Here's "Remembering you," sir.

Fresh Link Instant Download HERE. No codes, Rapidshare or confusion

ISTANBUL NOT CONSTANTINOPLE

If they told you once, they told you five times:
ISTANBUL, NOT CONSTANTINOPLE!
The Four Lads told you in the 50's, and so did
2. Caterina Valente (so many ways to spell her name wrong!)
3. Trevor Horn
4. Moxy Fruvois
5. They Might Be Giants
The question...why such continuing enthusiasm for a novelty song about ethnic identity?
Having a white person faking a Middle Eastern yowl is not very PC, nor is the use of snake-charmer woodwinds and a camel-clop boogie beat. It's remarkable that nobody's called for this dopey, catchy song to be banned (like, say, a certain bunch of novelty newspaper cartoons).
Do you know why it's ISTANBUL and not CONSTANTINOPLE?
Well, Students, centuries ago the city was named for emperor Constantine, and was part of the conquering empire of Greece. This didn't thrill the Turks, who got tired of bending over to the Greeks. When Greek road signs announced "Stanbulin" (meaning, "To the City"), some Turks made it "Islambol" ("Islam abounds"). "Stamboul" became a popular nickname for the place.
Around the 1920's, the Ottomon empire officially collapsed (terrible news if you were sitting on an ottoman at the time). Mustafa Kemel, who himself preferred another name (Kemel Ataturk, aka "Father of the Turks") officially proclaimed Turkish independence from past rulers and changed the name to Istanbul. But around the world, it was still Constantinople.
As late as the 50's, Turkey was roasting with hostility over this insult, and that led to...a novelty song that went a long way toward setting everything straight! With radio-commercial repetition ("Instanbul! Not Constantinople!") and a jocular basso refrain ("people just liked it better that way") The Four Lads told the world and the world...listened!
The power of humor! A musical elbow in the ribs got the world to call Constantinople Istanbul! Handling things with a dash of comedy worked wonders!
Right?
Somehow despite Middle East tensions, this tune with it's stereotypical Persian Market (!) instrumentation and air-rending Arabic (!) yodels, still gets covered. Perhaps it still needs to be. In Greece, Turkey's town is still called Konstantinopolis by those who feel "after all we did for you" the place should still acknowledge its past. Some Greek-made maps don't even add Istanbul in parenthesis. But most everywhere else (all together) it's ISTANBUL not CONSTANTINOPLE.
That's your lesson in trivia, ethnic sensitivity and pride. Download or not. It's nobody's business but your own.


Update: the Rapidshare link died around December 15th, from lack of activity, and the UPLOADED file expired on a re-up. Not a popular entry on the blog?? Well...so it won't be a total loss, here's two tracks upped as singles:

FOUR LADS! Download or listen on line.
AND THEY MIGHT BE GIANTS

Karla DeVito & Pat Benatar do Martin Briley

Karla and Pat earned their M.B. -- by covering Martin Briley.
Briley was known for misanthropic songwriting, and unlike goofy, teddy-bear Randy Newman, he looked like he meant it. You might remember his piercing stare and lone MTV video hit "(You ain't worth) The Salt In My Tears."
When sung by WOMEN, Martin's vicious songs become feminist anthems. Oh, the irony of it. "I'm Just Using You" is power pop slapping you in the face. Pat Benatar is even tougher with "Take It Any Way You Want It."

Also here: two other vintage Briley songs, "Someday, Someway" covered by Jeff Healey and "Can't Keep Running" by Greg Allman. Briley toned himself down to become a very successful songwriter (Celine Dion and N'Sync) but his real fans are buying the 2 CD re-issue set featuring all three of his classic Mercury albums (and a few demo and bonus cuts), songs from when Briley was that bitter twisted lemon floating in the cocktail of the 80's. Or something like that. It's always a salty download if it involves wryly briney Martin Briley.

KARLA DEVITO

PAT BENATAR

JEFF HEALEY

GREG ALLMAN

ALL THE NUNS WITH GUNS

Here's a G.E. Smith song with Paul Simon on backing vocals. Even most Paul Simon fans don't know about this rarity. In fact, if you listen closely, you can hardly hear him in the mix. But he's there, and that's part of the quirk on this obscure but catchy tune.
Thanks Jim Delehant (Hit Parader/rock mogul) for handing this to me one day. Many days ago.
G.E. Smith was the somewhat crazed-looking guitarist leading the "Saturday Night Live" band (1985-95). He also married Gilda Radner, worked with Dan Hartman and toured with Hall and Oates. That's probably the best way for George to have handled those folks.
Smith's stinging guitar is very evident on this track, but the guy was capable of other guitar stylings, having co-written the metal-moron "Wayne's World" theme song.
NUNS WITH GUNS

CATS IN THE KETTLE - Harry Chapin parody

Harry Chapin wrote good songs. Chinese food is safe 'n tasty. Cats are great.

So why do a parody about 'em? Oh, why not. Manic Larry Baker's "Cats in the Kettle" is short and sweet (and sour). A little tasteless, a little un-PC, but it doesn't really harm Harry, cats, or the reputation of Chinese kitchens.

With novelty songs, often taped off the radio or just tossed on P2P sites, the credit gets lost, or worse, ends up tagged as Weird Al Yankovic or Anonymous. That name again is: Manic Larry Baker.

Hear him quick as a cat Instant Download or Listen on Line

MORE DIANA RIGG & THE AVENGERS

"Mrs. Peel, We're Needed...on the Ill Folks Blog again!"
Gracing us with an obscure gem, Diana Rigg sings Sondheim! It's not easy for even the best singers to handle the intricacies...so bravo for this appealing performance. The other Diana Rigg song is still alive and well in the archives. Emma's replacement, "Tara King" (Linda Thorson), helps pads things out with her pair. Songs, that is.

Back in the archives you'll find a 4-pack of Honor Blackman. Honor Blackman never pretended to be a singer, but her solo songs were received well. She assumed Patrick MacNee would have no problems either: “Patrick said he had no sense of rhythm and couldn’t sing but we thought that was absolute nonsense until we actually got there and found it was absolutely true!”

You get the silly novelty hit "Kinky Boots," which is the least sexy song ever to have "Kinky" in its title. And also part of the download, a bright stereo rendition of "The Avengers" theme from the composer himself, Laurie Johnson. You even get some oddball theme song versions, including one that samples dialogue from John and Emma.
There won't be a time when Steed's words don't ring true: "Mrs. Peel, We're Needed."

1. Diana Rigg "Could I Leave You?"
2. Avengers (Disco Version)
3. Avengers "Peel the Reel" theme song with dialogue
4. Avengers (Magnetic Remix)
5. Avengers (Impulsion Remix)
6. Avengers (Laurie Johnson & Orchestra)
7. Linda Thorson "Here I Am"
8. Linda Thorson "Bad Time to Stop Loving Me"
9. Patrick MacNee and Honor Blackman "Kinky Boots"

Emma 'bout ta download dis...
Update: This one timed out due to Rapidshare's "10 days of inactivity" purge. But...re-upped as singles...

KINKY BOOTS
DIANA RIGG "Could I Leave You"
LINDA THORSON "Here I Am"
4 Songs by Honor Blackman

DOODLES WEAVER

Unlike his brother Pat (president of NBC and father to Sigourney Weaver), Winstead Weaver looked like a "doodlebug" (his own mother's opinion!) and acted like one, being a cornball comic/singer all his life.

The dude named Doodles gained fame with a manic William Tell horse race routine on a Spike Jones novelty single. He did a sequel, "Dance of the Hours" as a car race. Doodles also loved spoonerisms, mispronouncing song lyrics in frantic gibberish till he'd clear his mind with a bellowing "OOOOH!" That, along with deliberately awful jokes, made a hit out of "Man on the Flying Trapeze." You can hear Spike Jones ask "Are you in voice, Winstead," at the beginning.

He worked with Jones on stage and on radio for many years, but was fired for a lethal combo of alcoholism and natural nutsiness. He had bit parts in movies, notably the 1940 version of "Li'l Abner," and in 1951 prevailed upon brother Pat to help him land a summer TV show on NBC which went nowhere. He turned up on "You Bet Your Life" as an unknown contestant. After Doodles admitted his profession was a comedian, Groucho sympathetically hoped he'd get somewhere with it. In 1965 Weaver briefly had a notoriously desperate 6-minute "Day with Doodles" syndicated kiddie show. Nothing worked too well.

Throughout the 60's The Dood took minor roles in sitcoms, from "Dick Van Dyke Show" to "The Monkees" to "Batman" (as "Crier Tuck). His curly hair, tubular head and large eyes helped the comic ambience of any scene, even if his lines were few.

The older he got, the more bitter and disillusioned he became. 1948, when he issued his novelty tunes with Spike, was probably Doodles' best year. 1983 would be his worst...in fact, despite of or because of alcohol and pills, be couldn't stand to live more than a few weeks into 1983.

Not too many years earlier, Doodles went into the studio one last time to make a solo disc. He offered some updated spooner routines and he even tried to work his dentures through his classic Feetlebaum routine...which was now more of a trotter than a horse race.

Here's a six pack with samples of Doodles' hit singles, radio tunes and final recordings. All Weaver wanted was to get some laughs, and even if you're not a corn-comedy buff, he Dood it. He succeeded mightily several times, and in every sense of the word, he was always trying.



Cop a Doodles... DO! (Right here)
Update: the mid-October "inactivity purge" doomed Doodles at Rapidshare, but here's an upload of two rarities for you, Doodles doin' it on the old Spike Jones radio show. No Rapidshare waiting, either. Instant gratification
TWO DOODLES!

TORCHBURN with JULIE LONDON

Carrying a torch, watching it burn. Having an aching heart. Or just heartburn.
Here's a selection of tortured torch songs and love-sick laments. "Do not fall in love, therefore. It will stick to your face." (A line from "Deteriorata").
It could be worse. On Del Shannon's version of "Big Hurt," there's a drum gunshot after "this time the big hurt will end." A bit too grim for this compilation. But there are plenty of old flames and smokey ruins here...
We turn to Julie London for songs of despair, loneliness, anger, and lovelorn lust. Ok, and we have to end with a little touch of vengeance. The first ten are from early in her career, when her whispery voice was best augmented by a simple trio. As she got a little bolder and better, she was more than capable of holding her own with a full band, as you'll hear on the back eight.
The tracks are from seven different albums.
1. The Thrill is Gone
2. Everything Happens to Me
3. Say It Isn't So
4. Gone With the Wind
5. What'll I Do
6. When Your Lover Has Gone
7. Don't Take Your Love From Me
8. Lonely Girl
9. All Alone
10. Mean to Me
11. Don't Smoke in Bed
12. Baby Won't You Please Come Home
13. There Will Never BE Another You
14. Get Set for the Blues
15. About the Blues
16. The Blues is All I Ever Had
17. The End of the World
18. I Wanna be Around

Listen to the ebb and flow of sighs, insensitivity and sorrows. O. Henry once said "Life is made up of sobs, sniffles, and smiles, with sniffles predominating..." And in the next life he became a candy bar. Life is sweet after you're dead.


Who broke your heart?
Keep that Torch Light Burning

SPIKE MILLIGAN

Sapristi!


A tribute to the clown warrior Spike. Yes, Milligna, the well known typing error. At the time of his passing, he was acknowledged as the Godfather of British comedy, the man whose style could be heard and seen in everything from radio's "Round the Horne" to TV's "Monty Python's Flying Circus." First known as a member of The Goons (the only one of the three who wrote the radio trio's material) he went on to a busy solo career on radio, TV and via best-selling books.

One of the most complex and contradictory of comedians, Spike was the eye of a creative hurricane, capable of surreal jokes, aching poetry, whimsical nonsense and gut-wrenching letters to the local papers. Both manic and depressive, Spike was a Don Quixote who sometimes seemed to enjoy the battle and his victories, and was sometimes the victim of unseen and demonic enemies.

What you'll find here, are some vaudevillian and eccentric numbers written and mostly performed by him (one includes fellow Goons Secombe and Sellers). You know his name, now look up the download! John Lennon loved The Goons, and you might recognize some absurdist touches that later figured into John's more light-hearted numbers. Lennon even wrote a review in the New York Times for the first volume of Goon Show scripts.

Get Gooned on strange comic songs. With no further dew, try to digest this six-pack of strangely Spiked music:
Eeh Ah Oh Ooh
Ning Nang Nong (India Version)
Sewers of the Strand
I'm Walking Backwards for Christmas
I'm Walking Out with a Mountain
Finale
He's GOON BUT NOT FORGOTTEN
Update: SAPRISTI! This one timed-out for inactivity.
Will try and re-up when I get some time. Rapidshare, you great leaping crabs, you!
In the meantime, at least here's a live instant download for...
SEWERS OF THE STRAND

GRETA KELLER - She was the Wan

A sweet sorrow will comfort you hearing the voice of Greta Keller (1905-1977). Like viewing a daguerrotype of a beautiful woman, listening to Greta's singing brings a sense of a past that must have been glorious. Too bad you, or she, was born at the wrong time.

Rather than wax melancholic over the wax, discover for yourself the nostalgic niche occupied, perhaps to waning interest, by the interestingly wan Greta Keller. Perhaps it's Keller's lingering German accent that makes her interpretations bittersweet, the tremulous attention she gives toward interpreting the lyrics, or just the aura she presents as a world-weary and aging chanteuse on a dreary tour through smoke-filled nightclubs.

Madame Keller's private life, as her voice suggests, included a variety of traumas. The worst was the murder of her husband David Bacon, apparently while he was patronizing a gay brothel. He was vaguely known at the time for portraying The Masked Marvel in a movie serial. Pregnant at the time of the tragedy, Greta's child arrived stillborn.

In 1940 she opened "Chez Greta" at New York's Algonquin Hotel. Noel Coward, Gertrude Lawrence, Tallulah Bankhead, Greta Garbo, Cole Porter and Maurice Chevalier all toasted her as one of the best. In 1947 she opened a new "Chez Greta" in St. Moritz Switzerland and in 1960 returned to New York for two years at the Waldorf Astoria. She continued to tour the world through the 60's and early 70's, evoking nostalgia and stoking libidos. Her rendition of "Married" can be heard in the 1972 film "Cabaret."

Yes, that's her grave. The floating saucer with Greta's portrait has been added, along with the notes on the grave behind hers. Dietrich was more theatrical, Hildegarde evinced more humor, but the tender Greta Keller has a way with a sad song, and here are some of her most uplifting downers.

These are recordings from the 30's and 40's:

These Foolish Things
I Apologize
Blues In My Heart
All of Me
Just Friends
Did You Mean It?
They Can't Take that Away from Me
Thanks for the Memory
Once in a While
You Leave Me Breathless
So Little Time
Lights Out
Mine Alone
Remember Me
The Very Thought Of You
and even more.
Poignant stuff...and it'll be yours quick-as-Rapidshare. Download Keller...
You Won't Re-gret-a It.

Update: this one died due to Rapidshare's infamous "inactivity" purge in mid-October. But here's one song, at least. Instant gratification and no wait via Box.net upload:
They Can't Take That Away From Me (or you)

A RUDE MARTIN BRILEY SONG

Martin Briley is often accused of being a misanthrope when not labeled a misogynist. He was always satiric and misunderstood.

Shorthand: cross Moon Martin and Randy Newman. But unlike Moon, Martin's melodies aren't stuck in the 50's. Unlike Randy, Briley has a streamlined (and very British) sense of his own cool.

This song is typical 80's rock, with Briley seeming to compliment his slut-du-jour, all to a frantic masturbatory farfisa-type beat (off). Yeah, yeah, he's the guy in the beret scowling during "You Ain't Worth the Salt in My Tears," one of the first good MTV videos.

On every album (ok, he made 3) there was one viciously up-tempo funny tune. This is from his second album. On his first, the tune was "I Feel like a Milkshake" and it was covered by Peter Tork of The Monkees.

"She has an open mind, she's sweet and kind, but best of all, SHE'S SO FLEXIBLE, she never has to bend to be accessible..."

SHE'S SO FLEXIBLE!

KILLED AS A SWAN

"She looked like a swan! So I killed her..."
Think you could get off with that kind of defense? Wait till you hear "Molly Bond."
It's a tragic traditional folk song resuscitated by the Oysterband, longtime Celtic rockers on decades-worth of indie labels.
The story begins with a warning to hunters "that delight in a gun." This hunter made a fatal mistake: "Her apron flew around her. I took her as a swan. And I shot my own darling at the setting of the sun."
Yes:
"I shot my own darling, and where shall I run?"
What else would he sing after killing a woman thinking she was a huge swan? "Swaneeeee, how I love ya, how I love ya...."
The good news is that a judge might acquit...if the dead woman's ghost visits the courtroom and insists it was all a tragic accident.
Good ol' Celtic spookiness, and a far cry from the more mundane hunting accidents in other songs, such as Johnny Cash's "I Hung My Head."
Ready, aim... DOWNLOAD....or listen on line.

ZACHERLEY - THE COOL GHOUL

Now nearing 90, and looking the same as he did when he emerged in the late 1950's as cult tv's undead "Cool Ghoul," John Zacherle is a legend. He spliced himself into the old horror movies he was hosting, created a low budget world of support characters (one was pretty much a huge slab of gelatin) and laughed at his own bad horror puns with a cheerful barking yock. He got the cover of "Famous Monsters of Filmland" without making a film (although his records were sold in the back pages), had a novelty hit via "Dinner with Drac" and even covered "Monster Mash." After influencing Vampira, Elvira and dozens of other would-be horror TV hosts he miraculously went from East Coast TV phenom to rock disc jockey on WPLJ in New York. Very cool! That's just the merest thumbnail sketch, because I lost the actual thumb I was typing with! Ha...ha...yock....
Here's a sample of vintage and recent Zach tunes. He may not mean as much if you didn't grow up with him, but let's see if he can put a Sardonicus-grin on the pusses of total strangers.
The lucky 13 download includes "Coolest Little Monster," "Sure Sign of Spring," "Transylvania PTA," "Graverobbing Tonight," "Formaldehyde" and even a cover of Tom Petty's "Zombie Zoo."
"Foam at the mouth via your RABIDshare download, my dear. Ha ha...."

BATMAN julie newmar frank gorshin

The 60's Batman show still packs some pow.
Here's an audio wallop: Batman stars, themes and tribute songs. Since books have actually been written about the show, there's no need to further explain things here, and since folks just want to download, I'll spare you my anecdotes about various cast members I knew and know.
"THE RIDDLER" by Frank Gorshin. He was the most manic and memorable of all villains. As an impressionist, he shared a classic "Ed Sullivan Show" with the Beatles. Without his personality the gags here would make anyone gag.
ILL FOLKS BAT-MEDLEY.Bearing in mind that a novelty tune can lose it's novelty even halfway through, here's an Ill folks montage that gives you a smooth sampling of: Adam West's overly bouncy "Miranda," a bit of Burgess "The Penguin" Meredith in a musical narration about his nemesis, and then Jan and Dean who washed up onto shore for "The Joker is Wild." It segues into the real Joker in a bit of dialogue from the show.
This bops and echoes into Cesar Romero seriously giving a "Thought for Today."
Holy Attention Deficit Disorder! See if you can last the six minutes! Not "seven minutes." You know what Irving Wallace figured was a much better way of spending seven minutes.
"JULIE NEWMAR" a tribute song! The purrfect alloy of beauty and brains, and the erotic and the comic, Julie is one of the most unique women on this or any other planet. She deserves a bit better than this effort from the dim 40 Watt band, but Walter Egan set the bar very high years ago with his humorous fanboy worship tune "Tuesday Weld."

Batty Ill folks! Instant download or listen on line. Bat-fan montage!
Julie Newmar tribute song Instant download or listen on line.
Frank Gorshin Offers bad jokes as The Riddler!

ILL FOLKS MUSIC REQUEST PHOTO

Here's Khan Jeh-Stet, miming his request for two Alan Parsons Project songs: "Eye in the Sky" and "You're Gonna Get Your Fingers Burned." What a master of hand-eye-nose coordination.
Two songs in one download for you! Is this the missing link between music and mucous? Some say it is, some say it's snot.
These quick links don't last long so get this nine-minute epic instantly:
http://www.sendspace.com/file/7u2dxc
or
http://www.megaupload.com/?d=7Z5DS4JQ

TEEN TRAUMA & DRAMA

TEEN TRAUMA AND DRAMA
(Yes, the photo enlarges if you click on it. But do you want that?)
Death was an obsession with teens of the late 50's and early 60's. Morbid music and monster movies became a fad. While there have always been grim pop songs from "Gloomy Sunday" to "D.O.A." somehow, dying was just so much more entertaining, during this era!
The day the music died...was every day on the radio back then.
Bobby Darin snapped his fingers and sang of bodies oozing life. Heck, "The Cheers" recorded a motorcycle wreck song. How cheerful! The answer song to all these deathly singles, "Let's Think About Living," paled next to the morbid numbers that we all found as endearing as fresh flowers on a well-kept grave.
You get the usual motorcycle wrecks and grim songs of dead people ("Tragedy" by The Excellents, "Dead!" by Carolyn Sullivan) and even a few morbid and weird C&W ditties.
Here's Lloyd Price, Mark Dinning, The Shangri-Las, Twinkle, Jody Reynolds, Dickey Lee, Ray Peterson, The Cheers and more...
Use the comments feature to ruminate on faves I've left out (like "Laurie/Strange Things Happen" or "Ode To Billie Joe") or just download these downers and rest in peace:
1. Teen Angel
2. Tell Laura I Love Her
3. Endless Sleep
4. Patches
5. Last Kiss
6. Leader of the Pack
7. Dead Man's Curve
8. Black Denim Trousers
9. Terry
10. I Can Never Go Home Anymore
11. Stagger Lee
12. Tragedy
13. Dead!
14. Me and Little Andy
15. El Paso


Downloading this? "Look out, Look out, Look out!"

AM I BEAUTIFUL? AM I USABLE?

Those eyes, those lips...that voice?
We wish our screen goddesses could do it all. With us! If you're looking for perfection, stick it in your ear. See if the voices measure up to the bodies and faces. These women are fairly obscure ill folks as far as the music world is concerned.
Here's Tina Louise doing "I'm in the Mood for Love," Marilyn Monroe (arguably the prototype for Tina's "Gilligan's Island" movie star doing "I Wanna Be Loved By You," and Brigitte Bardot joined by Serge Gainsbourg on the "J'Taime" demo (later re-done with Jane Birken, perhaps more prone to surprised gasps and groans than BB).
Mamie van Doren duets with June Wilkinson, Jayne Mansfield does a "Big Bopper" answer song, and you also get Raquel Welch's attempt at singing.
Oh...and "Am I beautiful/am I usable" is copped from AFI's Davey Havok and the song "The Killing Lights."

RAQUEL WELCH
JAYNE MANSFIELD
TINA LOUISE
MAMIE VAN DOREN
MARILYN MONROE
BRIGITTE BARDOT

BOBBING FOR BASEBALLS

That former Phil Ochs rival BOB DYLAN has a fondness for Ill Folks...obscure, unfamiliar singers on the other side of fame. On his new radio series, at least half the numbers are intended to shine a light on these great talents. His baseball show includes people you probably never heard of: Buddy Johnson ("Did You See Jackie Robinson Hit That Ball"), Winona Carr ("Life is a Ball Game") and Johnny Darling ("Baseball Baby"). There are some famous folks, too, like The Treniers, Chance Halladay and the Teddy Brannon Orchestra.
In case you missed it, here's Bob narrating a neat collection of songs about the National Pastime. Too bad he missed a few like:
You Anaheim Angel You, Lay Lady Lay Down a Bunt, One Too Many Innings, As I Struck Out One Morning, Blind Umpire McTell and Can You Please Crawl Out Your Window And Get My Ball For Me?
Take Me Out to The.... BOB-O'-LINK