BOB NOLAN - That Old Outlaw...TIME

"Now as I go along, he steals from me.
My way of life. My woman's love. My peace of mind.
If I could see him I'd hit him. If I could reach him I'd kill him.
That old outlaw...Time."
This is just illfolks reminding you that one day your download will be six feet deep.
In 1979, Bob Nolan, one of the original "Sons of the Pioneers," emerged from long retirement to cut "The Sound of a Pioneer."
A year later, June 16, 1980, he was dead. Like most C&W vocalists who didn't get into a car or plane accident, his passing was little noticed by the mainstream press.
Your download song "That Old Outlaw Time" is from that album.
Unlike Johnny Cash, who held legendary status late in life, knew he had a death sentence just months away, and made the most of songs such as "The Man Comes Around" and "Hurt," Bob Nolan probably thought this was a comeback album, not a farewell. Although, you never know, the old cowboy reads these lines as if there's a cold hand on his shoulder:
"This shadow I can't seem to shake is not flesh and blood. This is a stranger each man faces in his own mind; filling him with fear and doubt. And behind it all, is that old outlaw: Time." Karloff couldn't have narrated it better.
"No way to win...no way to win...against that old outlaw...TIME."
BOB NOLAN Instant Download or Listen on line. No pop-ups or porn ads.

MR. SANDMAN in SWEDISH by a girl named SIW

Here's "Mr. Sandman" in Swedish. Considering it can be dark and gloomy in Sweden for a long stretch of the day, Siw offers a pretty short and happy nighty-night here.
Siw Malmkvist, now 70, first achieved fame representing Sweden at the Eurovision Song Contest in 1960. Adept at German, she represented West Germany at the Eurovision Song Contest in 1969.
Over the years Siw's expanded from pop singer to stage star, appearing in a variety of roles, including "Sugar" (the musical version of "Some Like it Hot") and "Nine" (the musical inspired by "8 1/2"). Just a few years ago, she and Thorsten Flinck had a hit with her Swedish version of "Where the Wild Roses Grow" (originally from Nick Cave and Kylie Minogue).
Siw has recorded hundreds of tunes in Swedish and in German (and a few other languages as well). Once in a while a slab of her vinyl has turned up in America with her perky visage on it, and it's hard to resist (thus, this rip from the original vinyl.) And yes, that lips-parted photo (is she singing or miming for something) could give a sand man wet dreams.
MR. SANDMAN IN SWEDISH Download or listen on line. No pop-ups or porn ads.

ANNA NALICK : BREATHE (live version)

Unlike Lindsay Lohan, Anna Nalick can sing "Breathe" and doesn't need to have a tattoo of the word on her hand. Some find her hotter than Lindsay, too.
While the illfolks blog is more concerned with obscure performers, stars down on their luck, the deceased, and other unfortunates, it's important to boost new talent that is either unknown or not getting much attention.
After the release of her first album, everyone wondered what Anna would do next. People are still wondering. In this strange age, people have big hits with a first album, but fans develop ADD and don't care about the next. Fiona Apple had a slump with her sophomore effort, Dido's second was considered formulaic, Keane's second album tanked...So, while waiting,here's something to either introduce you to Anna Nalick or reacquaint you with her. It's a sterling live version of "Breathe" I lovingly filched and digitized from a TV appearance. That's devotion.
"An hourglass glued to the table..." yeah, Anna, time passes slowly while waiting for the next album...
BREATHE (Live Version) Instant Download or Listen On Line. No porn ads, pop ups or code words

ILL-USTRATED SONGS #7: SEPTEMBER SONG

It's September...the perfect time to revisit "September Song," a wistful vignette that describes the time of year when women give up short skirts and dirndl down due to the autumn chill.
That's in the lyric...isn't it? Well, when Maurice Chevalier sings, you can't be sure about half the words, and it doesn't really matter. He was quite the chevalier (that's French for horseman). He had such charm. He could probably stow away on a boat and get past customs just by singing a song...
"Oh...Chevalier, huh..."
Note the few little scratches in the vinyl at the song's poignant end, which also recalls a fragile era...where if you handled the friggin' vinyl the wrong way it was marred for life.
SEPTEMBER SONG by Chevalier Instant download, or put on an outrageous French accent and sing along on line.

THE LION SLEEPS TONIGHT - WIMOWEH - MBUBE

Give props to Jews and Italians! They made a hit out of "Mbube" an obscure ethnic chant and turned it into "Wimoweh" an irritating musical windshield-wiper of a folk song. 

Then turned those tunes into the enduring hit "The Lion Sleeps Tonight." 

Below you get a crapload of versions...four MBUBE, four WIMOWEH and enough LION SLEEPS TONIGHT to keep a zoo awake till morning.

Where...Excedrin users ask, did this musical plague come from?


 
Answer: Africa. 1939
Solomon Linda wrote and recorded "Mbube" (a word for "Lion") with his group the Evening Birds. Guess what. Like so many artists of any color, his record label only paid him for recording the song. No royalties. Of course in South Africa, where blacks could not own property (or copyright) Solomon was doubly cursed. 

An alleged 100,000 copies of "Mbube" sold in Africa over the course of a decade, but the song was too ethnic to make it off the continent and onto national radio stations. It was up to "ethnic explorers" to hunt for exotica, be it Delta blues or African chants.

1952: A breed of white people, called "Folkies," began discovering "world music." Over at Vanguard and Decca, there was The Weavers and the duo of Marais & Miranda, both interested in hipping the world to African music. Marais & Miranda popularized "Marching to Pretoria," while The Weavers chose "Wimoweh."

Wimo-what?? 

Pete Seeger and his friends mis-heard "Mbube" as "Wimoweh." Seeger explains what the word means: "Legend says, Shaka The Lion [a Zulu warrior] didn't die when Europeans took over...he simply went to sleep, and he'll wake up some day." 

"The lion sleeps" is not musical accompaniment to a Rousseau painting. That line, pretty much the translation of "Mbube," meant that one day, the French, Dutch and anyone else inhabiting Africa would go away and stop messing things up. Thus, leaving things to guys like Idi Amin, or the current maniac tribesmen who allow AIDS, murder, poaching of animals, the stealing of diamonds mass starvation, and spam e-mails from Nigeria. Oh, and Boko Haram.

Happily, most everyone who heard "Wimoweh" merely had a jolly excuse to shout "Wimoweh," and not have any idea what it meant. Same deal with one of The Weavers' first hit songs: "Tzena Tzena Tzena." 
 
The Weavers were produced by Gordon Jenkins, and Rolling Stone described the result with breathless delight in their May 25, 2000 issue: Jenkins' "arrangement of "Wimoweh" was a great Vegas-y explosion of big-band raunch that almost equaled the barbaric splendor of the Zulu original. Trombones blared. Trumpets screamed.  Strings swooped and soared through Solomon's miracle melody. And then Pete (Seeger) cut looks with all that hollering and screaming. It was a revolutionary departure from everything else the Weavers had ever done...His version was faithful to the Zulu original in almost all respects save for his finger-popping rhythm, which was arguably a bit white for some tastes but not entirely offensive...Seeger passed with flying colors, bawling and howling his heart out, tearing up his v ocal cords so badly that by the time he reahed age seventy-five he was almost mute..." 



Unfortunately, while listeners were enjoying this folk-tribute to black African music, America was undergoing the "Red Scare." Pete Seeger was labeled a Commie, and "Wimoweh" and The Weavers got blacklisted. The song fell from the charts and the group's music was banned by many radio stations. "Wimoweh," via cover versions, continued to amuse listeners, and The Kingston Trio performed it on their huge selling "Live from the Hungri i" album.

In 1961 Italian producers Hugo (Peretti) and Luigi (Creatore), a lyricist named George Weiss, and The Tokens lead singer Jay Siegal put together a little miracle called "The Lion Sleeps Tonight." The quirky tune was multi-racial, using African rhythms, doo-wop, falsetto, and a female's soaring variation on classical "vocalise." Welcome in any stack of 45's that included "The Witch Doctor" or "Quiet Village" fresh lyrics pushed the literal lion imagery while the music and vocals erected a Brill Building in the South African veld. For an added twist, Frenchman Henri Salvador recorded "Le lion est mort ce soir," and there have been plenty of other nutty versions since (many in your zip file). 

In 1962, Solomon Linda died. He had almost no money. His wife and children lived in Soweto in a dirt-floor shack where a mash of corn was the usual meal, and a great treat would be...an egg. Meanwhile, back in the States...

Catchy, obnoxious and fascinating, "The Lion Sleeps Tonight" has endured for over 40 years, dragging in its wake, the legends of "Wimoweh" and "Mbube," two songs that almost nobody would want to hear more than once. Thanks to its use in Disney's mammoth hit "The Lion King," Solomon Linda's family was able to be the lion and take a bite out of a big, fat cash-cow.
Racism? Nah, it's the music business, that's all.
 
As with "Tom Dooley," if there was no name on it, it was assumed to be public domain. If you didn't file a lawsuit (as the "Tom Dooley" guy did) you didn't get paid. Seeger: "The big mistake I made was not making sure that my publisher signed a regular songwriters’ contract with Linda. My publisher simply sent Linda some money and copyrighted The Weavers’ arrangement here..." Which isn't so unusual. Matthew Fisher had to wait 40 years before he got a co-write credit on "Whiter Shade of Pale. " To use the vernacular, "shit happens." Before Linda's family sued Disney, the twisty path of royalties tended to go to the Weavers, to George Weiss (if the song was sung and his "in the jungle, the mighty jungle" line used), and to the original South African record label (a division of Decca).

The fact remains that Solomon Linda's song would be nothing but a footnote if not for the way it was re-written and re-produced by a very commercial bunch of professionals as "The Lion Sleeps Tonight." But hear the evidence yourself.

Are we so much more open to "world music" today? No. Whatever the music might be...a Swiss yodel, a polka, a Gamalan monkey chant or "Mbube," it ain't gonna chart if it ain't commercial. To put it another way, Paul Simon sells a lot more records than the people he used on "Graceland" or "Rhythm of the Saints."

Most of you will continue to spin "The Lion Sleeps Tonight" a lot more than "Mbube." If you want to call yourselves racists, go ahead. That's the easy word thrown at Pete Seeger and The Tokens. 

Your reward for reading all of the above, or reading none of the above:
A whole lotta Mbube, Wimoweh and Lion Sleeps Tonight, and guess what, on this download, nobody gets paid. Fair is fair. 

UPDATE: the link is long out of date. I was going to to upload some of the tracks individually for you...after all, this IS an educational blog...but all of it is streaming on YouTube. (And there are ways of pulling the mp3 off a YouTube video so you can keep it for your very own, including convert YouTube to Mp3 websites).  

The TOKENS - The Lion Sleeps Tonight

Glen Campbell guitar version - WIMOWEH

Desmond Dekker ("The Israelites" guy) Reggae-Rocks "WIMOWEH" 

Bizarre Afro-Big Band version: YMA SUMAC and MARTIN DENNY

TV Insanity: Dusty Springfield ("The Springfields") Pretend to be Afrikaaaaaaans

The Weavers - WIMOWEH

YouTube: Solomon Linda's 1939 version, MBUBE

Mindy McCready Gets a Year In Jail

OK, who has done more time, Johnny Cash or Mindy McCready?
Mindy, and she's been sentenced to more.

Jail's just part of the tragedies, mistakes and miseries of this "old school" country singer, who was hospitalized after being found unconscious at a Holiday Inn, wrote a four-page suicide note, had a boyfriend charged with attempted murder, aggravated burglary, and beating Mindy, and was in such bad shape she couldn't perform in concert for 18 months. How about the time she spouted off against RCA/Nashville head Joe Galante, left the label, shifted to Capitol only to leave that label too?

"To be a girl, and to be loving like I am, and sweet like I am, it's hard not to get taken advantage of..." she once explained.

Mindy, at 21, became a country darling thanks to the slightly raunchy, girls-just-wanna-do-one-nighters 1996 hit "Guys Do It All The Time." Through the tumultuous decade, some believed her greatest strength was her enduring relationship with her mother, but...

The 31 year-old ex-star was recently accused of scratching her mom, and resisting arrest. Still on probation for two previous brushes with the law (an illegal buy on OxyContin in 2004 and a drunken driving incident in 2005 in which she was ultimately found guilty of driving with a suspended license), there was no way she could avoid doing time. "I could only say I'm sorry," she told the judge a few days ago. "Please give me a chance to make things as right as they can possibly be."
The judge credited her with the 75 days already served, and let her know that after she gets out, she'll be on two years probation. And if you think it's rough on her, think of Mindy's son, who isn't even 2 years old. It's been a long road downward from 1996 when she sold 2 million copies of her album "Ten Thousand Angels."

Ill winds blew Mindy off the charts...into the arms and fists of an abusive boyfriend, careening around roads, haunting drugstores with fake prescriptions, and writing suicide notes...Hopefully while she's away some royalties will trickle in on the old songs that still get radio play, and she can rebuild her life.

"Good As I Was To You" is a traditional bawlin' and boilin' ballad as Mindy gives a Parton-shot to an ex-lover sitting in a diner with his new flame: "Does this mean that you've won? Are you finally having fun? Is she your dream come true? She won't never be good as I was to you!" Oh, nope, nope, nope. Double-tracked pain, scolding violins and a few drippy piano teardrops tell of a country gal's heartache and inner strength.

If you've somehow missed Mindy, while saucing your cauliflowered ears on Dolly Parton or Sara Evans, give her a listen, and hey, maybe buy a CD. The gal could use some bucks when she leaves the ol' Graybar Hotel.
GOOD AS I WAS TO YOU Instant Download or Listen On Line. No porn ads, pop ups or code words

BOB DILDYN RADIO THEME HOUR #2 -- Butt Fuckin' & Shit

"What looks large in the distance, close-up ain't never that big. Except a woman's ass."

So says Bob Dildyn, as he muses through an x-rated hour Zimmy wouldn't touch at X-M Satellite radio.
Besides rude intros and raunchy songs, there's the "celebrity interview," this time, a crude Q&A cut-in with PAUL SIMON!

Dylanesque rambles on anal sex and "all kinds of crap" plop between songs like:
"Fuckin' in the Butt." "River of Shit," "Oops I Farted Again" (Britney Spears), "Toilet Love," "Keepin' Your Poop in a Jar" "Poop on My Pee," "Shishkebab," and "Uranus Is Out Tonight." Some foul songs are quickly dumped in for 20 or 30 seconds, like "Dogshit in my Garden," "Farting Fool" and some maniac Jamaican screaming "Somebody pooped!" Which is balanced by a demure British gal warbling "You're full of shit...full of shit."
Bob Dildyn's most ardent follower, A.J. Weberfuck, has allowed illfolks to post the show here (since his own blog is even more obscure than this one) but asks that anyone who also wants to use it, post this original link and don't re-up it as your own. That's so that A.J. can keep track of how popular (or unpopular) the Theme Hour is, and add the info to his huge and pointless dossier on his idol, the elusive Mr. Dildyn.
This is for ill folkies...so "parental guidance" is suggested. As if "Butt Fuckin' and Shit" didn't give you an idea of how down and dirty Dildyn is...
BOB DILDYN #2
Update for those who missed the first show:
"VAGINA" is still running.

ILL-USTRATED SONGS #6 : WHIPPING POST (Genya Ravan)

If "Genya Ravan" (hard G, last name pronounced like the bird) is only a vaguely familiar name, then you should be tied to the whipping post, not her.
But so should dozens of A&R men, disc jockeys, label execs and muddled music critics who thought rock blooze began and ended with Janis Joplin.
Always a hard-living and adventurous woman, the former Ms. Zelkowitz posed for vintage skin mags, formed "Goldie and the Gingerbreads" and toured with the Rolling Stones and then fronted (literally, as some raunchy extant pix prove) Ten Wheel Drive.
She then took a series of tumbles with brilliant solo albums that suffered from poor promotion (her debut on Columbia), bastardly production (like the well-titled "They Love Me, They Love Me Not") or drugged-up non-logic (an album titled "Goldie Zelkowitz" with no reference that this was actually Genya Ravan).
The agony you'll hear on "Whipping Post" is matched again and again throughout Genya's catalog, especially "I Hate Myself" and a passionate "Bird on a Wire" from her Columbia solo debut. Her latter efforts include the fiendishly sardonic "Aye Colorado" duet with Lou Reed and the loudly lusty "Won't Sleep On the Wet Spot" which highlight her two lps for 20th Century Fox, now on mp3 via links at genyaravan.com.
I saw Genya live, a year or two ago, and she's still a formidable presence. Off stage she's the sweet Jewish mama her real name implies. After all, she grew up on the Lower East Side's Rivington Street (yes, the "Birds the Word" Rivingtons borrowed the street cred) and she grew up amid a melting pot of ethnicities. I remember her having two cool kitties in the apartment uptown, and that everybody always wished her career would get the heat it deserved.
Her autobiography, "Lollipop Lounge" tells the hard luck stories of what happened along the way, and it's as horrific as any in the rock world, whether real ("Buried Alive") or not ("The Rose"). I once told Genya, "you're a survivor," and that pissed her off, because she's been more than that...she's been a mover, a shaker, and she's beaten all the odds from addiction to cancer, and she's always devised ways of keeping it real in the music business, whether issuing solo albums, producing albums for Ronnie Spector or The Dead Boys, or hanging out at CBGB's.
Take this track ripped from vinyl (which for some reason sounds better than the one I bought at eMusic) and consider it an invitation to check her site and find more, more, more. Each stanza of this song brings Genya closer to the raw meat and the bare bones. Or to borrow, out of context, a Phil Ochs line: "The whipping was rotten with ecstasy." Good Lord...Good Lord...Lord...I feel like I'm DYIN'!!!
WHIPPING POST Instant download or listen on line. No code words, porn ads or pop-up ads.

Note: If files on the blog aren't working, leave a comment. Some can be replaced, as usually they stop working only because the cloud server changed some configuration or other, or switched from an http to https without bothering to TELL ME to UPDATE my link.

GINA GERSHON - "House of Woe"

Gina Gershon is hotter than Jessica Alba and Jessica Biel put together. Although maybe not hotter than a video of Jessica Alba and Jessica Biel put together.
Gina is one of the sexiest women on the planet, and if you don't agree, look at the photos. If you still don't agree, leave my blog, you antisemite. And don't download any of my other Jewish princesses, from Eydie Gorme to Dinah Shore to Genya Ravan. Feh! Double feh!

Gershon's always had a strong interest in hyphenating her fame, as in "actress-singer" and she's gotten some creds to back her up, from her movie "Prey for Rock & Roll" to a brief stint in Broadway's "Cabaret" (I think second or third to replace Brooke Shields, who was second or third to replace the original star of this second or third revival).
Her first solo album arrives any day now. Despite the Mylene Farmer goth cover idea (tears of blood) it's strong mainstream pop, although there may be one or two songs that carry too much of a country tinge.
Years ago, at some goofy press-party that drew Robin Williams and other celebs (Griffin Dunne fitting into the latter) I noticed a wickedly attractive girl moving about the periphery, and she gave me a sexy, assured stare when I walked over and took a few pix. She hadn't made a hit film yet, and somebody told me her name was "Tina."
Years later, nostalgically checking pages of chromes in various looseleaf bindings of party and event pix, I recognized that my mysterious "Tina" had become the goth, humorous, exotic, erotic, fascinating actress singer GINA...
She's still in the illfolks category because she's not yet renowned as a singer, and infamous mostly for her ill roles in "Bound" and "Showgirls." Perhaps her debut CD will vault her past cult status and out of my clutches.
When, in any fit of masturbatory homage, you purr her name, she pronounces it GEE-nah, grrrr-SHON. First name accent on first syllable, second name accent on second syllable. Now listen...
Gina sings: HOUSE OF WOE No wait time, code words, porn ads, pop-ups or foul balls

ILL-USTRATED SONGS #5: GO TAKE A SHIP FOR YOURSELF Benny Bell

Here's a bit more of Benny Bell. He was a lovely man; a family man. He had a home in Brooklyn and much of his living was made by peddling his self-pressed music to local shops, as well as performing around town.
Benny divided his time between snazzy Jewish dance music (freilachs) and his risque novelty numbers. He's best known for the cutely crass "Shaving Cream," which was later covered by everyone from Dave Van Ronk to the Jolly Boys. As Benny's clear nasal tenor rose to pun a near-obscenity, you knew he was not trying to be obscene, just heard. He enjoyed being a corny wiseguy, and all he wanted you to do was smile.
Here's another bit of silliness, just in time for your Carnival Cruise vacation. Take it away, Mr. Samberg (no, his real name doesn't quite ring a Bell...)
GO TAKE A SHIP! Instant download, no porn ads, pop-ups or wait time.

Groucho's Daughter Melinda Marx Wasn't Petula Clark

Groucho Marx's youngest daughter, Melinda, doesn't want to be known as Groucho's youngest daughter, Melinda.

While son Arthur wrote several books about his father (as well as other comedians) and daughter Miriam put together a collection of letters, young Melinda's been...elusive. Which beats being bitter but funny, or alcoholic and Sapphic, as her siblings turned out to be.

You'll recall, if you're a Grouchophile, that sweet Melinda turned up as a little goddess of song on her Daddy's quiz show. Proud poppa insisted that she sing, as if she was auditioning for an "Our Gang" revival that might need a new Darla. However Melinda's enthusiasm waned. As did her mother Eden's...to the point where you can see just what kind of dysfunctional family they became...



...a chagrined kid, an alky wife (stepmom Eden) and a grouchy old hubby. Listening to this A-side single, cut post-puberty (6 years after this photo), you get the idea with "East Side of Town" that Melinda Marx didn't want to be the next "Downtown" Petula Clark.

You can almost imagine her telling the sound engineer: "can I get this over with in one take?" Turning Fabian's echo chamber into a mausoleum, here's Melinda Marx singing her way out of show business...

The East Side...and Down Side of Being a Celebrity Daughter Instant Download or Listen on Line

PHIL RIZZUTO - THE GOLD RECORD "Holy Cow!"

"That huckleberry!" Phil Rizzuto said.

Meatloaf's debut album yielded a hit song for both of them, but, Phil told me, "I had no idea what he was gonna do!"

Meaning, Phil had no idea the play-by-play he'd recorded would become the double-entendre filled highlight in the epic song "Paradise by the Dashboard Light." He shook his head in amusement. "That huckleberry!"

Nothing bothered Phil. Not really. Not for very long.

He was too busy counting his blessings: beating the odds on a 5'6" shortstop making the Big Leagues, the MVP award in 1950, being friends with Yogi and Jeter and Dimaggio and all the other great players, being a broadcaster for 40 years, getting into the Hall of Fame...and most of all, his wife Cora and his children.

So what if Meatloaf used his narration that way. As it almost always did for him, whether failing a tryout for the Dodgers or getting cut by the Yankees in 1956, it worked out fine after all. I remember the day he got the Gold Record plaque. In the elevator after the little ceremony, the guileless Scooter wasn't even thinking about himself. "Meatloaf!' he said. "What IS that guy's real name?"

That guy? Marvin Aday. I spent an hour with Mr. Loaf once, and we talked a bit about Phil. Meatloaf was of course a big Rizzuto fan, but a little disappointed in his recording experience with him: "The first few times, he was just reading the lines. It was hard getting him to be Phil Rizzuto!"

Well, yeah...because the greatest thing about Phil Rizzuto was his spontaneity. He worked best being himself...wide-eyed and a little wacky, like this classic from the WPIX archives: "And he hits one in the hole. They're gonna have to hurry. They'll never get him! They got him. How do you like that? Holy cow. I changed my mind before he got there, so that doesn't count as an error..."

Phil was beloved by everyone who ever knew him or heard him or watched him play. He loved everyone, too. Some of his contemporaries would turn down autograph requests, or ask for money, but Phil would patiently sign, and he was proud of being able to put HOF (Hall of Fame) below his signature, and then add his retired number...#10.

Phil died peacefully in his sleep at the age of 90. I wish that #10 could've been added so that he lived to be 100. Two words about Phil Rizzuto. Watta guy.

Phil Rizzuto, MVP, Hall of Famer, and Gold Record winner for:

"Paradise by the Dashboard Light" Instant download, you huckleberry!

ILL-USTRATED SONGS #4: CONEY ISLAND - Herb Alpert

Summer is ending, and if it wasn't all you wanted it to be, then recall the nostalgia of bygone days at the beach...via this snazzy little instrumental by Herb Alpert.

Perhaps, after "Spanish Flea" and "Lonely Bull," Herb had finally decided to explore his Jewish roots for "Coney Island." Sadly the fad for kicky brass band antics was over, and his peppy gem was not a hit. Illustrating the song is a picture from a recent event at "Coney Island," a place that's a little different from when the horny guys from Tijuana were on the high C's.
CONEY ISLAND! Instant download, no porn ads, code words or pop-ups.

JULIENNE IRWIN sings PATSY CLINE

Julienne Irwin made it to the Top 8 of "America's Got Talent" the hard way; by simply being what she is, a 14 year-old with a fresh look and a great voice. Whether she wins or loses, makes more than one CD or none at all, she helped make the summer a little more pleasant. There was plenty of hot humid air, torrential rain, and so much of Lindsay Lohan, Britney Spears and Paris Hilton being dumb that even die-hard pervs were getting creeped out.
The summer series "America's Got Talent" is a less boring "American Idol," since it varies the way people can be annoying, and isn't restricted to singers overdosing on extra vowels just to show-ow-ow emo-oh-oh-oh-tion.
With Jerry Springer hosting, most viewers were prepared for a genial freakshow, and there were lots of laughables, from a tearfully inept Russian drama queen gymnast to a joyfully self-confident porcine Shakira impersonator. There were terrible acrobats, wince-producing novelty acts, dubious street performers and The Stepford Duttons of Branson, a gruesomely toothy family that would make Mormons approve of abortion, up to 60 years after birth.
Irwin always stood out from the rest because she had such amazing pipes for a 14 year-old, and never copped an attitude. Or as Sharon Osbourne cooed, "You are such a great role model for other girls in this country. You don't flaunt what you've got. You dress appropriately -- you're just great." Well, yes, compared to others in the Top 8, including a fat white guy who's made a big deal out of being "modest" while ripping off every black reggae singer he's ever heard, a greasy self-absorbed cruise ship singer (and shouldn't semi-pro ringers be kicked off this ostensible amateur hour?) and another teen female-nom who plays the race card (she calls herself, ah, "Butterscotch") and has fascinated the judges by making fart noises into a microphone.
Julienne Irwin has modest aspirations: "This is so silly, but I hope one day I get to sing the national anthem at an Orioles game. That would be so great."
Her take on Willie Nelson's "Crazy" is nicely updated, sans the hard edge of the worldly Patsy Cline, but with a smooth arrangement that freshens up the melody without adding too many vowel movements.
Here's "Crazy" (in retro mono, as tribute to Ms. Cline) as performed by Julienne Irwin at age 14, live in front of 12 million people. Amazing. Julienne cooks! Julienne fries!
Julienne Irwin sings "Crazy" Instand download or listen on line. No wait, porn ads or pop-ups.

SWAT MILLIGAN! BASEBALL HERO

Barry Bonds, of the S.F. (steroid-filled) Giants? He's no hero. Not like... SWAT MILLIGAN!

Swat came to semi-fame 70 years ago via "New York World" reporter Bozeman Bulger's short stories. Swat's next and last shot, was this novelty track by Ernie Sheldon. As childish as this song is, it fit in with the days when Valmy Thomas, Pumpsie Green and Enos Slaughter played ball, "Americana" was in, and goofy tunes like "Come Onna My House" and "Banana Boat" were Top 10 hits.

Just as Disney served up "Casey at the Bat" via cartoon, energetic Ernie Sheldon tried to make a novelty craze out of this fictional baseball player for the Poison Oak team, long after Bozeman Bulger was going, going, gone. Bulger was a contemporary of Damon Runyon, and ghosted "as told to" sports books, including "My 30 Years in Baseball" by John McGraw back in 1923.
Here's Ernie and his jolly gang singing "Milligan! Swat Milligan! Clobber that ball!"
Sapristi! He apparently struck out with this.
The humor here is, alas, nowhere near the level of Spike Milligan, and Ernie couldn't get Thurl Ravenscroft to goo up that basso "Clobber that ball" line, but if you thought Wyatt Earp was "brave courageous and bold" you might get a lift from this musical whiffle ball.
If it's a choice between singing dopey 50's tunes or singing the praises of steroid-pumped clods like Mark McGwire, Sammy Sosa or Bobby Bonds...I'll swing with Swat.
Listen and envision this as a Disney cartoon short, as you picture "Swat Milligan" and his antics. Now that Bonds artificially broke Hammerin' Hank's record, forget about it and listen to Ernie Sheldon -- and that bunch of background singers that were probably banned from singing along with Mitch.
SWAT MILLIGAN Download or listen on line. No wait, porn ads, pop-ups or foul balls.

ELEVEN 'Tears On My Pillow"

Some of the best songs are the simple ones. Or so it seems.
"You don't remember me. But I remember you."
"Tears on my pillow. Pain in my heart caused by you."
The subtle questions asked in the song: a) is the singer going to do something more than cry about it? ("You don't remember me..." suggests a stalker, doesn't it?)
And b) is the singer straight or gay?
Richard Barrett, who was trying to get "Little Anthony" Gourdine signed to a deal in 1958, recalls: "I had some time trying to convince (producer) George Goldner that the public would go for Anthony's high-pitched voice. What George thought was a lisp was in fact intentional vocal styling by Anthony."
Yes, Anthony intended to sound like...a childlike male hurt for the first time, a woman hurt for the umpteenth time, a simpering gay, a feisty lesbian or whatever a listener on the radio wanted the singer to be!
Is it that surprising that the other big hit version was the cover by Timi Yuro? The woman with the gender-bender name had a range between alto and alternative lifestyles. The next big cover version was from gay icon Kylie Minogue.
The song is musically androgynous, too. It's pop, it's rock, it's R&B and it's C&W. Unlike "96 Tears," there's no number of "Tears on My Pillow," and if you want to be rude, the "tears" could be symbolic of some other form of wetness, and there's nothing more humiliating than a soggy one-night stand and a dry-cleaning bill.
You get 9 versions here, plus two bonus tracks: two more songs titled "Tears on My Pillow" that use that phrase for entirely different lyrics and melodies.
ELEVEN TEARS ON MY PILLOW Tears Galore

Also this link TEARS ON MY PILLOW In case the other link's hinky

SAND RUNS OUT - Hazlewood Dies at 78

Sort of like a cross between Johnny Cash and Sonny Bono, Lee Hazlewood had a tough, almost literally flat voice and he was best when it contrasted to a similar female one. With Cher already taken, this cowpoke prodded Nancy Sinatra into stardom for them both. First he shaped Nancy from a sweet "Daddy's Daughter" performer into a painted, tainted boot-stompin' tough gal, then he began to duet with her.
Barton Lee Hazlewood, who died last Saturday, wrote "These Boots are Made for Walkin'" and the neatly nasty follow-up, "How Does That Grab Ya Darlin'?" He hit the charts with her on "Jackson" and "Summer Wine," and they made several albums including the fairly recent "Nancy and Lee 3" which failed to get a UK or USA release, even though it had some excellent tracks amid some corn and a few clinkers. Nancy sounds particularly good and Lee's a formidable octave lower. A sample of how good it could get is below; "She Won't."
Like Jimmy Webb, Lee Hazlewood could write both solid rock and soggy pop (remember Nancy's "Sugar Town"?)...but also like Webb, the Okie rarely got attention on his own solo CDs.
He knew he was dying when he put the finishing touches on "Cake or Death" the title a clue that this would be both sweet and sour, a sometimes cute often caustic musical brew of coffee, Bovril and saki. His voice was pretty strong, though not on "Boots," which does have lounge-cool brass, a twangy-guitar (he did work with Duane Eddy) and gives you the original, more masculine melody line. The lyrics are the same (including that great bit of poetic illiteracy, "you keep lyin' when you oughta be truthin').
My first choice for a salute goes back to the Cowboy Lee and Lady Nancy days, when their unrequited sexual tension was hottest (he was married) and he was moving past Ol' Blue Eyes as the main mentor and influence in her life.
"Sand," is really just a truckstop one-nighter, but producer-genius Lee uses courtly dress-up (catch the word "thee"?), Doors-type pseudo clever "fire" analogies, and shoves Beatles backward-tape psychedelia into the middle to take the concept of froggy guy and frosty princess to new depths and heights simultaneously. Or as we dudes say; "Sweet!"
Nancy: "Oh sir, my fire is burning high. If it should stop, sir, I would die. The shooting star has crossed my land. A wandering man."
Lee: "She whispered SAND...young woman shared her fire with me. Now warms herself with memory. I was a stranger in her land. A wanderin' man. She called me Sand."
Get it? Sand ran out on her. Sand bagged her. So many more of these, which you couldn't think of if he was named Grits.
SAND Instant download or listen on line.
SHE WON'T (from the last Nancy and Lee album, released only in Australia) Instant download or listen on line.

CHRISTOPHER LEE ... SINGS

Prepare yourself.
You will not forget the four minutes you are about to download.
All I can really add is that I've met Christopher Lee, I've spoken to Christopher Lee, and the moment he fixes his eyes on you and speaks to you...IT IS SCARY!
Well, intimidating might be a better word.
He carries himself with dignity and eschews modesty when it comes to debunking his status as a mere movie monster. No, he rightfully will list all his achievements as a linguist, a swordsman, a connoisseur, and, yes, a remarkable hybrid; the singer who can emote (or, the actor who can sing). Restless for any challenge, at 84 he not only chose to make a solo album, he chose to do what even Sinatra, Bennett or Shatner wouldn't think of doing...songs in a variety of styles from opera to show tune to Christmas carol.
Here's Mr. Lee assuming the character of a cowboy and singing "High Noon" (along with a brief sample clip of the Sinatra & Anka classic "My Way" and some errant dialogue).
The CD version is a British pressing only, at the moment, BUT it's available in mp3 downloads from iTunes and eMusic. If you like this sample, buy some tracks. I did. It will encourage a sequel (he has plans, folks) and it may inspire more celebrity singing albums in general (conservative record execs usually check sales figures of similar projects before proceeding). I hope this publicity gets some sales for you, Mr. Lee! I'll go hide under a blanket...
...while discerning seekers of the unusual download...
CHRISTOPHER LEE!

SACRILEGE #7 : NEIL YOUNG PARODY

Thank you, Tony Scheuren for NOT tossing a "wine/whine" pun into this thing.
His song from the 70's National Lampoon "Goodbye Pop" lp skewers the ego behind Neil Young's notion of "A Man Needs a Maid."
It references "After the Goldrush" (with the "patches on my jeans" back cover) and loads up on recognition humor ("Neil" longs to live in "North Ontario. It's safer than Alabama. It's safer than Ohio"). If you don't know "Old Man" or "Cowgirl in the Sand" some lines here won't raise a smile.

Mr. Young had a bit of a crooked grin through segments of the Demme concert film "Heart of Gold," but it's doubtful he was all that amused when this parody came out. (Which is why the photo's been altered so he can flip the bird!) What sacrilege, to take a poke at a sensitive singer-songwriter, and even do an elbow in the musical rib over CSN&Y's anthem about four dead students at Kent State.
Scheuren is not just "a comic." He began his career as a musician, and at 19 sang lead vocals with "Chamaeleon Church," a group that did release an album on MGM in 1968. (Kyle Garrahan, also chronicled on this blog, was a member.) He also toured with Ultimate Spinach and is on "Ultimate Spinch III." For most, his most vivid work remains with the Lampoon, both their discs and radio show.
And remember, unless you live in some still hippie-esque canyon, or behind the gates of a Beverly Hills or Malibu home, you'll agree with the faux Neil here, that...
SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA BRINGS ME DOWN Si, muchachos, es verdad.

14 JACK THE RIPPER SONGS + Soundtracks

Heavy metal was what Jack the Ripper wielded, and it's no surprise that the favorite bad guy for metal bands is a real murderer, not make-believe monster.
Ripper fans include: Judas Priest, Motorhead, Chemical Romance, The Horrors, Screaming Lord Sutch, The White Stripes, AFI, Buckethead, Iced Earth and One Way Street. Let's not forget guys like Link Wray, who recorded his own "Jack the Ripper" instrumental rumble, though he might have imagined a surfer Jack ripping the waves.

Unlike Dracula, or even Dr. Jeckyll's Hyde, the Ripper existed. He made a hobby out of killing prostitutes. A "better watch out for Dracula" song would only be mysterious and spooky, and altogether ooky for hip thrashers. Instead, with the Ripper, they can be more urgent with screaming guitars that match a knife's glint, and rumbling minor key melodies that evoke dark alleys. The misogynist aspect can't be overlooked, since these guys attack the vocals with such enthusiasm. Included here is "Whores in da House" by Jack the Ripper, just to document that rappers, of course, find this guy a role model, too.
There is no certainty about how many victims there were (between 5 and 19), if the Ripper was male or female, if several people were involved, why the killings stopped, or how many (if any) of the notes signed "Jack the Ripper" were hoaxes. Almost all evidence and every theory can be believed or ripped to pieces. Eyewitnesses differ on specifics (the cloaked Ripper in a top hat is folklore too). Movies paint the ladies as young and beautiful when they were in fact middle-aged dregs, some toothless, who sold themselves cheap in a slum area. Making the victims more sexually attractive only further fogs up the motives in the case. Check the Net and you'll find entire websites about Jack, including "fun" sites that list the likely victims and suspects.
It's all speculation and nothing more, with plenty of theories to prop up or debunk a particular suspect or motive. We'll have to wait for the next book, and the author's appearance with Regis & Ripa (no, the photo is just an illfoax hoax...Ripa never actually posed with Rip Torn).
There are 14 Jack the Ripper songs here...as well as seven of the most evocative tracks from two ripper movies, "Jack the Ripper" (score by Pete Rugolo, 1959) and "Study in Scarlet." 21 download tracks. That's rippin' a lot of Rippers....
Let her Rip