HEY PAULA - ABDUL LEAVES A DULL SHOW

Usually the world of Popular Moronics is not a topic for Illfolks, but let's praise the decision of Paula Abdul, to walk away from a program that has done a lot to bring mediocrity, sameness and dullness to the music world. With lame contestants brought in for a laugh and quickly discarded, "American Idol" rewards unoriginality. Contestants given a serious shot at winning, must be just like past winners, and like any number of sound-alikes in the R&B or C&W genre. There isn't a cliche that the judges don't really love, and they expect perfection in the puppets who are supposed to be the next Britney or Whitney, etc. etc.

The show's a farce. Do we care if Ryan is gay, and aren't we bored with Simon's smirks, Randy's "dawg" and "pitchy" and Paula's warm-hearted dribbling and fumbling? Nobody cares who wins, and few even buy a second album from any contestant. While Cowell couldn't walk away from his $30 million a year, or Seacrest the $10 million, Paula Abdul rejected the $5 million offered her...either because she's greedy, bored, or stupid. Whatever..."Hey Paula," glad you've helped give the show a kick in the ass and some negative publicity. Even the suicide of Paula's stalker, a tooth-challenged lunatic who overdosed near Paula's home, had failed to dissuade people from ignoring the pop-culture poop machine that is "American Idol." Maybe not having addled Abdul for kicks will finally push the show toward the cancellation it deserves.

Since the show is so stupid, so's this "tribute" to Paula Abdul. It's the moronic puppy-love duet "Hey Paula" in French and German cover versions.

Your download is the hideous combination of "Hey Vivi, Hey Gerhard" from Vivi Bach and Gerhard Wendland followed by "Hey Paula" by Donald Lautrec and Ginette Sage. And no, Gerhard doesn't call Vivi a "frickin' cunt," on second listen, it sounds more like "fraggin' kont." Too bad, a curse or two would elevate this song from merely creepy to decadently perverted. The Frenchies are just irritatingly sweet.

HEY PAULA in German and French Instant download or listen on line. No waiting, pop-ups or pop-unders or porn ads.