Sticky Mr. Mizzy co-wrote CHOO'N GUM

This post comes with a warning.

If you listen more than once to the cutie-pie tune "Choo'n Gum," you will loathe it with a passion...and find that you also can't get it out of your head, any more than you can easily get the junk itself off the sole of your shoe.

The only thing surprising about "Choo'n Gum," an impossibly catchy song you love to hate, is that it was not covered by Danny Kaye, Prince of the Irritating Ditty. Danny was the guy who made you wonder if "puckish" should be spelled with an f. Perhaps the only reason he missed "Choo'n Gum" is that he swallowed it while singing "Mommy Gimme A Drinka Water."

Though it wasn't OK for Danny, it was a kayo hit for the terminally perky Teresa Brewer. It was also covered by that satirist of crooning, the lovably insincere Dean Martin.

No doubt when Dino was handed this piece of gooey fazool he thought of it in terms of dollars, rather than sense. He knew if "Doggie in the Window," "All I Want for Christmas is My Two Front Teeth" and the pedophiliac-sick "Come Onna My House (I'm Gonna Give You Candy)" could be hits, why not this piece of... gum? Besides, if he'd let Jerry Lewis sing it, radio tubes may have exploded.

The Vic Mizzy-Manny Curtis bit of novelty-sadism from 1950 goes like so:

"My mom gave me a nickel to buy a pickle. I didn't buy a pickle, I bought some choo'n gum
Choo, choo, choo, choo, choo, choo'n gum. How I love choo'n gum. I'm crazy over choo'n gum, I chew, chew, chew!
My aunt gave me a quarter for soda water. I didn't buy the water. I bought some choo'n gum. (chorus)
I chew the day away, it seems. I'm even blowin' bubbles in my dreams
My pop gave me a dollar to buy a collar. You should have heard him holler when I bought choo'n gum!
Choo, choo, choo, choo, choo, choo'n gum. How I love choo'n gum..."

78 rpm cover versions include The Andrews Sisters, Don and Lou Robertson (on Coral, also in 45 rpm), Ella Fitzgerald, Lynn Howard and Toni Harper (later released on the album "Candy Store Blues"). The Yum Yum Kids with the MGM Marshmallow Orchestra did it in 1966 and in 1998, Maria Muldaur. If you consider one of the lines in the song, it could've been covered by Michael Jackson: "I'm even blowin' Bubbles in my dreams."

Which reminds me...don't remind me about George Rock, and "I'm Forever Blowing Bubble Gum." ICK!

Five versions was pushing the limit: Teresa Brewer with the Dixieland All Stars, Tippy Brown and the Peter Pan Orchestra, Audrey Marsh with the Ray Arthur Quartet, Toby Deane and Dean Martin.

Update: Nov, 2011. Rapidshare's annoying "30 days without a download kills it" policy killed the original link. I've re-upped it:

Choon Gum Songs

and if you just want the Dean Martin version it's below...

DEAN MARTIN gets GUMMY