THREE MORE SONGS YOU'LL LOVE TO HATE

"The Awful Tale of Maggie May" is typical of the overbaked style of a known irritant by the name of Ian Whitcomb. Whitcomb's brand of necrophilia is to "improve" on classic old tunes by his nudge-nudge wink-wink delivery. As Herman's Hermits demonstrated with "I'm Henry VIII," there's nothing wrong with having fun with an old tune, as long as you show some respect. Especially when the old version showed a damn lot more musicianship than yours. "Awful" is the word for Ian's version of "Maggie May." It's too bad The Beatles didn't release a full version of the old classic, which they clearly enjoyed messing with during the "Let it Be" rehearsals. John & Paul sang with raucous delight, while witless Whitcomb camps it up, mugging and miming all the way through. Oh who's a clever boy, then?

The first time you hear "Maybe" by Bobby Pedrick, you'll have to agree that most falsetto singing is an embarrassment to the male gender. With the right song, Lou Christie could be hilarious ("The Gypsy Cried") and so could Frankie Valli (on "Walk Like a Man" he sounds like a silly screaming queen). With the wrong song? "Maybe" sounds like Bobby was the victim of a budget vasectomy. But, it turns out, he was in his teens when he recorded this thing. No wonder he changed his name when he grew up! Robert John Pedrick became…Robert John. Old habits die hard…including falsetto. The re-named Robert John used it on his two hits, "Lion Sleeps Tonight" (the 1972 cover version) and "Sad Eyes" in 1979. "Maybe" they're more tolerable than this track, which would be perfect to play in a loop at your neighbor's barking dog.

They call it "scat" because it's shit. Even Ella Fitzgerald can try one's patience, much less a much lesser performer such as ex-Norman Mailer wife Carol Stevens. In 1957 Time magazine enthused that she "wears wicked black sheaths and Vampira makeup, and is visually and musically the most striking of the new girl singers." Then cautioned that she might "sound like a cat trapped in a rain barrel, but somehow manages not to."

"In a Mellotone" (1957) opens with some guy hunching his back over his keyboard, knocking out some chords for Ms. Stevens, who comes in with: "Doodle ooh doo doo. Doodle ooh doo doo. Doodle ooh doo doo. Doodle ooh doo doo." You think she'll finally start singing some lyrics...but those ARE the lyrics, and they are repeated a brain-numbing number of times. (At CD Universe, all the songs on her "That Satin Doll" album are available as mp3 files except THIS ONE. Wise move.) You don't want to snap your fingers, you want to snap her neck.

Stevens began an affair with Norman Mailer around 1969, and they had a child together in 1971. Two years later, at Norman's 50th birthday party, he remarked to the crowd of over 500: "“A lot of people ask me why I associate with so many worn-out, older women. Well, I’ll tell you why. Because they’re all the same once you get past the old, worn-out part.” Which didn't mean he was mellowing, as he broke up with Carol a year later. But, in an odd twist, six years later, in 1980 he and his wife Beverly got divorced, and a month later he and Carol got married. And very quickly divorced. The marriage was done only to "legitimize" their daughter. A month later, Norman married his fifth and last wife, Norris Church. (Mailer may hold some kind of celebrity record for having two divorces and two marriages within 3 months!)

THREE IRRITATING/CATCHY SONGS

Update: Nov, 2011. Rapidshare's annoying "30 days without a download kills it" policy killed the original links. Re-upped with a better service. For those who may only want a particular song:

CAROL STEVENS
PEDRICK

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