CHRISTINE JORGENSEN: SEX CHANGE AND SPEEDED-UP VOCALS

One of the many wisecracks about the first man to have a successful sex change operation, was "if you can't get a raise, take a cut." After George Jorgensen became Christine…the question of making a living became more important than making water while squatting. Would she just disappear into private life and some low-paying job? Why not use the new-found celebrity to turn her artificial vagina into a real money-maker?

Christine would indeed make a living as an actress and lecturer, and being something of a novelty herself…issued a novelty single. "Crazy Little Men" arrived around the time speeded-up vocals were more popular than sheered-off testicles. Now, there are thousands of sex change operations every month but rarely one novelty song reaching the Top 100.

Over 50 years ago, people guffawed over the "Purple People Eater," the Chipmunks, the Nutty Squirrels, Maymie and Robert's "Ha Ha Hee Hee Ho Ho Hum Hum," and Jesse Lee Turner's "The Little Space Girl," which gave its heroine a chipmunk voice. So why not have a speeded-up space alien greet a transsexual on her trip to the moon?

"Crazy Little Men" was the wackiest song issued by a tranny until Amanda Lear covered "They're Coming to Take Me Away." Alas, neither song slid many coins into the singers' drawers.

Christine's item just didn't sell many copies. As for Amanda, in this age piracy circumcises half the take, and cheap streaming downloads means most listeners hardly spend a penny. Any pre-op trannies out there should realize that you won't be able to pay for a sex change with the spare change given out as music royalties. Save up as both Christine and Amanda did. Get a real job to pay for your operation, because in the music world, you'll be cut off without a cent. In other words, don't expect to Twatify on the money you get from Spotify.

Sapristi! Mooning Men? Christine did it!