VINCENT PRICE : THE EASTER BUNNY ALWAYS SLEEPS

Today is Good Friday, and on Sunday, it's Easter.

Religulous as these days are…Jesus Christ…it's just too easy to make fun of it all. "Easter," with the bonnets, and the chocolate bunnies, and the colored eggs…it's already a joke. What has any of this to do with the supposed death and resurrection of somebody that a billion or more people think is the "Son of God?"It makes as much sense as Santa Claus and "Christmas."

We're dealing with revisionist crap. That's what all religion is. It's hearsay. People literally get bent out of shape, go around killing other people, make their lives miserable as well…all because of some shit that was written hundreds and hundreds of years after the supposed "sacred" events took place.

The more ridiculous the religion, the more humorless and vicious the followers are…because they are so fragile, so insecure, and so stupid, they can't just accept the fact that not everyone believes what they do. Some religious fanatics are so humorless, they will kill you over cartoons depicting their "savior," whom they insist was (is?) a deity of peace and good will. Nyuk nyuk. Why the fuck shouldn't people make fun of religion? It's hilarious. It's full of inane rituals, stupid-looking clothing, mumbo-jumbo prayers, and all kinds of psychotic taboos (which are mostly broken by the pious assholes who profess to follow them).

Enjoy the download, which is from the soundtrack to "Here Comes Peter Cottontail," and contains a few amusing remarks on the Easter bunny courtesy of the lovable horror star Vincent Price who was born in Saint Louis, religulously enough.

I've met Bill Maher, and I've watched him morph from the mainstream witty stand-up that Steve Allen admired, to one of the best political and religious satirists around. His recent "Real Time" editorial on the election of the new Pope included a few choice paragraphs on the revisionist nature of religious fanatics. He laughs at those who foolishly believe in "rules" that were not even in The Bible (second-hand source that it is) but tacked on later by a variety of laughable loons who somehow got others to go along with their nunsense. Here's some of what Bill said:

You know, people think all the church's rules and traditions come right from Jesus.  But almost none of them do…For example, New Rule: confession.  Jesus never said anything about confession.  Never even thought of it.  They pulled that out of their ass in the 12th century.  Just like they did with, New Rule: women can't be priests.  That's also not in the Bible.  Neither is celibacy for priests.  We didn't have that until the 4th century.  And even then, priests could still get married.  They just couldn't have sex — like regular marriage.

Jesus also never said anything about a Pope, let alone that he should live in a palace and get carried around in a chair like Liz Taylor in Cleopatra.  Or papal infallibility, another rectum-derived edict that came in the year 1870.  It's an eternal truth that's 11 years younger than the escalator….

Or how about this whopper?  New Rule: not only does God have a Son — who's really Him — but there's also a "Holy Ghost" in there, and they're all one person called the Trinity.  A Catholic monk named Tertullian made up the Holy Ghost in the 3rd century.  And after that, "It is true."

I tell ya, religion?  It's like Wikipedia.  Anyone can write something in.

VINCENT PRICE The Easter Bunny Always Sleeps