Admit it, you haven’t read The Bible in a while. Even more egregious, you haven’t read The Koran, which everybody is talking about. And even bombing about. Helpful advice: Get a bit of religion into your life before a religious fanatic ends it.
Many of us have a religious devotion to pop stars. We even go to memorabilia shows and pay $20 for a selfie. See, the fan goes over to Little Anthony's table, and says, "You don't remember me. But I remember you..."
Some fans want his autograph on a scratchy 45 rpm of “Tears on My Pillow.” More obscure (thus, here) is his recording of the "Exodus" movie theme song. It wasn't a hit. Maybe only an obvious Jew could sing such a song. Wasn't Sammy Davis Jr. available?
If your knowledge of The Old Testicles is a bit hairy, here’s a quick refresher on the "Exodus." Moses took a knee in front of Pharoah. When this didn't get any results, Moses stood up and articulated his position: "My people are being used as slaves. Let's stop this before it drags on for another 2,000 years!"
Moses was going to say "Jewish Lives Matter," but consulted with his writers (all of them Jewish). They came up with something really catchy: “Let My People GO.” To which Pharoah replied, “We have plenty of Port-a-Potties out there. Your Jewish Braceros can lay some turds after they’ve laid some bricks. Stop the kvetching and get back to working on my Pyramid scheme. Next up, I might build a wall...”
This is when Moses brought out true royalty: LITTLE ANTHONY AND THE IMPERIALS. They sang “THE THEME FROM EXODUS.” This was a pretty good trick, as movies hadn’t even been invented yet. The Lord works in mysterious ways!
After the rendition, Pharoah declared, “Who wants JEWS and BLACKS? Get out of my country, the lot of you!” This included Lot. Lot's wife stayed behind, because Pharoah was fond of hummus with a lot of salt on it.
And thus, Moses and Little Anthony and the Imperials made their way out of Egypt. Moses said, “Little Anthony, you go that way, and call your new land ETHIOPIA. Soon, all the black Jews will prosper and multiply!” And Little Anthony said unto Moses, “That’s a neat trick, considering The Imperials are all guys!”
Moses said, "I’m leading the Jews across this desert to The Promised Land. I will call it ISRAEL!”
Of course, the joke was on Moses. He and the Jews found the only part of the Middle East that had NO OIL on it. Jesus! But that’s another story....
LITTLE ANTHONY & THE IMPERIALS - THEME FROM THE MOVIE "EXODUS"
"This was a pretty good trick, as movies hadn’t even been invented yet." Yes, the Jews hadn't invented the movies. Yet.
ReplyDelete