Monday, July 29, 2019

Zsa Zsa WHO? Gabor gets a new bio - long after even SPIKE JONES fans or DION might care



"Zsa Zsa who?" 

That's what Millennials would say, learning that somebody named Staggs (no joke) has written a new bio on one of the Gabor sisters. Huh? There were 3 famous sisters not named KARDASHIAN? 

Back before idiots were paying hundreds and thousands of dollars for sneakers, here's Zsa Zsa in 1960 singing (sort of) "High Heeled Sneakers." Go, Zsa Zsa: 




Aren't you glad the blog now includes VIDEOS? 

Back before Paris Hilton was born, Zsa Zsa Gabor (first name Sari) fled Hungary (where she was the 15 year-old runner up to a "Miss Hungary" contest.  Beautiful but a Jewess, the Nazis and their pals hounded her through Europe, Iran and Iraq into Turkey, and finally...(since there was no State of Israel, a sandbox sliver that a Jew might call home) she ended up in America. Her actress-sister Eva was already there, but her other sister Magda and her parents were still trying to avoid being killed overseas. 

Conrad Hilton, the best known hotel owner in the world, married Zsa Zsa in 1942. The bombastic blonde had already been married and divorced. When they divorced in 1945, Hilton figured she had to be crazy...so he helped book Zsa Zsa into a nuthouse (er, sanitarium) where she was given two months of insulin shock therapy. 

Meanwhile, back in Hungary, Magda Gabor and her parents had to deal with people who just didn't care much for Jews. Magda recalled what it was like: "“Slaughter in the streets, the yellow badges, the men and women... our family physician, our lawyer, merchants we knew...  machine-gunned to death.” Thanks to Magda sleeping with a Portuguese ambassador,  the Gabors made their way to Lisbon, somehow missed Elsa and Victor Lazlo, but got a plane to America. 

Zsa Zsa married George Sanders in 1949, they divorced a few years later, but they remained such good friends that when Zsa Zsa recommended he marry Magda, he did so. Back in the 50's, you had to do something besides fuck celebrities and leak a tape to become a star. Zsa Zsa did get work as an actress, and through her slight fame, got booked on talk shows, where she did something none of the Kardashians could do: get intentional laughs. Witty, glamorous, and with an exotic accent, Zsa Zsa found magazine-cover fame, and even got some decent roles in films, including "Moulin Rouge," though her musical voice was dubbed by black opera singer Muriel Smith.  Gabor was also in Orson Welles' "Touch of Evil," and the campy "Queen of Outer Space" among others. She showed a sense of humor on sitcoms, variety shows, and course as a guest villain on "Batman." 

Though she was born in 1917, so you'd think she would not have been of interest to teen idol Dion (or his Belmonts). But as you saw above, Zsa Zsa was rockin' in 1960, so when Dion had a hit with "Donna the Prima Donna," the lyrics didn't reference Brigitte Bardot or Connie Francis:

"I remember the nights we dated,always acting sophisticated,
Talking about high society,
Then she tried to make a fool out of me...
She always wears charms, diamonds, pearls galore,
She buys them at the 5 & 10 cents store.
She wants to be just like Zsa Zsa Gabor,
Even though she's the girl next door…"


Dion mispronounced Gabor's name as "Za Za" in the original single, but below you get a 2009 bootleg from a Connecticut concert, in which he corrects it to "Zsa Zsa…

"Donna the Prima Donna" - and a "Za Za" mention


A few years earlier, Spike Jones revived the "Knock Knock joke" novelty hits of the 40's with a new song loaded with rotten puns including this one:  

"Knock Knock!" "Who's There?" "Maverick!" "Maverick who?" "Mah-ah-'hv-a-rickording of this song??"

Yes, there's a "Knock Knock" on Zsa Zsa.

KNOCK KNOCK -- SPIKE JONES

By the 1980's, Zsa Zsa Gabor was finally out of the news, unless she slapped a cop over a parking incident, or got married again (as she did to some asshole Frederic von Anhalt, who claimed to be a Prince. He was 43 and she was 70.  He remained devoted to his trophy wife, and like any collector, got to the point where he wouldn't let anyone else get close to his treasure. He shut off contact with Gabor's own daughter. When her health began to fail, he turned her misery into good publicity for himself, speaking for her, and choosing very carefully what lurid pictures of the helpless, bed-ridden one-legged star the tabloids could run.





Who is going to buy a book on Zsa Zsa? Not too many. Nobody buys books anymore, and the days when major publishers offered celeb bios on just about any celeb are long gone. At least Mr. Staggs was able to maybe get a slight advance from Kensington, and didn't stoop to BearManor Media. Of course, no book is immune from piracy, so a few people might be willing to read an eBook version of Zsa Zsa's story...as long as, like the downloads here, it's free.



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