When I was flippin’ through the dollar bin, I’d often see “BENT FABRIC.” I had no idea what it meant. Some bad rock group? Some middle of the road singers? The fact that one cover had a wet-eyed wet-nosed dog on it was enough to turn me off.
If “BENT FABRIC” was the bastard son of ACKER BILK, I didn’t care. Not with THAT dopey album cover. As a dwindling few of you might know…
…Bent Fabric was actually a Danish pianist named Bent Fabricius-Bjerre (December 7, 1924 – July 28, 2020) and the VERY LEAST one can do is give away some fabric samples. For more, stream on YouTube and don’t feed the ego of some ego-asshole with a blog loaded with discographies and the notion that serving up other peoples’ music without asking or payment is generosity. They have nothing better to do except throw it all out there like it’s their duty; “More stuff tomorrow. I have nothing better to do! Pretend I’m cool and a show biz insider! Leave a nice comment. Copyright is copy wrong! Fair use! Entire albums fo review purposes! I make up the rules! Don’t let the bastards win! I’ll re-up anything if you give me a Paypal tip. Later!”
But I digress. The focus is on rending our garments in mourning for BENT FABRIC.
Obscure now, he most certainly entertained a lot of people all over the world, and like ACKER BILK, had one hit that made his name immortal. Well, sort of. How many people under 40 ever heard of ”Stranger on the Shore” or ACKER BILK? Consider the same number for “Alley Cat” written by Frank Bjorn (actually Mr. Fabricius-Bjerre using yet another pen name) and performed by BENT FABRIC?
“Alley Cat” originally had nothing to do with a prowling feline. For those who speak Danish (and get the crumbs off your lips), there’s no need to translate: “"Omkring et Flygel.” For the rest, it’s “Around a Piano.” With a name change to “Alley Cat” (being on a major label means you get creative input to help your commercial appeal and EARNING A LIVING), it strutted into the Top 10 all over the world. Lyricists rushed to put words to the tune so that a variety of singers could get some bucks, too. Mr. Fabric ended up with a million seller, a Gold Record and a 1963 Grammy in….hold on…the ”Best Rock and Roll Recording” category.
“Alley Cat” beat out “Breaking Up is Hard to Do” by Neil Sedaka, “Twistin’ The Night Away” by Sam Cooke, “Up on the Roof” by The Drifters, “Big Girls Don’t Cry” by The Four Seasons, and “You Beat Me To the Punch” from Mary Wells. In 1965 the category name was changed to “Best Contemporary Rock and Roll Single” and changed again in 1970 to “Best Contemporary Song.” As opposed to what, “Best Song from Five or Ten Years Ago that Got Re-Issued?”
The rush-release of a full album for “Alley Cat” meant the inclusion of such filler as “Across the Alley from the Alamo,” “You Made me Love You,” “Comme Ci, Comma Ca” and “Baby Won’t You Please Come Home.”
It’s human nature to try and duplicate a success, so BENT FABRIC followed “Alley Cat” with “Chicken Feed” and “The Happy Puppy.” The former pecked around outside the Top 50 (which was, ha ha ha, chicken feed) and his label was dismayed when the latter sniveled outside the Top 100. Both those singles are on “The Happy Puppy” album with that wet-eyed drooly, shit-spewing weiner dog on the front cover. But don’t give up, Mr. Fabric. There’s a menagerie out there.
More BENT FABRIC albums hit the racks: “The Drunken Penguin” and "Organ Grinder's Swing" (1964), “Never Tease Tigers” (1966) and “Operation Lovebirds” (1967). Monotonous, isn’t it? This guy went animal crackers. Eventually his label figured BENT FABRIC was all wet, and they left him hung out to dry. The golden years for BENT FABRIC were the 60’s, when instrumentals were actually considered a legitimate art form for singles. Sadly (for some) the days of Wine and Roses and Henry Mancini and Ray Coniff and Percy Faith and Mitch Miller and BENT FABRIC were coming to an end.
I think part of the problem was that by the 70’s, the trend toward singers was spiked by more and more foreigners learning to speak English. In fact every country seemed to have English as a second language (except America, where Spanish was starting to become more and more popular until bilingual signs began turning up in most major cities). Aside from walking your “Alley Cat” you could take “A Walk in the Black Forest” while staring through the trees to see “Telstar” only to mutter “Wipe Out.” Instrumentals could be fun, especially if the alternative was Kyu Sakamoto singing “Sukiyaki” or Dominico Modugno singing “Volare.” But come the 70’s, and a record player in every home everywhere, and every country had a recording studio for its native-language singers and every radio station could play the superior English-speaking singers and not worry that listeners wouldn’t understand the lyrics. Well, there was Bob Dylan, of course.
“Alley Cat” isn’t “ill” or obscure, so this blog offers the two follow-up singles, submitted for your upheaval. “The Happy Puppy” is actually pretty famous, actually. You’ve heard the damn thing hundreds of times, usually when some fossilized asshole like Ben Blue would do an unfunny comic mime on “The Ed Sullivan Show.” You know the kind of tedium: Mr. Sad Faced Bewildered Funnyfuck tries to put his hat on only to have it keep falling off while adjusting his cane which keeps falling down. After several excruciating minutes (accompanied by irritating music such as “The Happy Puppy”) the child-man has his hat and cane in place, and he walks away with his pants falling down. Ta da!
You ALSO get the totally rotten “Chicken Feed,” which Frank Bjorn (aka BENT FABRIC) did not write. This one is credited to the team of Bert Graves & Jorgen Ingmann. Both are on “The Happy Puppy” album, which includes such MOR-on titles and grain-dead filler as ‘Puppy Love” and “Tip Toe Serenade.”
The happy story for BENT FABRIC is that he remained busy with movie soundtracks and more albums in his native Denmark, where he was lauded as one of their greatest musicians. Can you name another? (Victor Borge, but he left the country in the 40’s and lived in Connecticut). In 2006, the vigorous old gent was still charting back home with “Shake” and “Jukebox,” both reaching The Top 10. If you want to know more about BENT FABRIC, you can iron out any wrinkles in your knowledge by visiting his website. It would help if you not only eat but speak Danish: https://fabricius-bjerre.dk
1 comment:
I wonder if he ever met Rip Torn?
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