Panties and a Nightie - here's a little French tease from the past - LIO

Amoureux Solitaries.

That means jerking off in French?

Here's LIO and her obnoxious yet arousing video. What a cutie, with the French pout, and that little outfit. Does it matter that the bitch can't dance? That she can barely rock back and forth swaying her arms and hardly lifting her leaden feet?

Of course SNOT. Who doesn't love a little French tart? To paraphrase an old Pearl Williams joke, "she's got long brunette hair and bangs."

At least you hope she does.

What a disappointment, that she didn't raise that little nightie up a BIT more. It's also a disappointment that she's not really all that French.

Lio's name is Vanda Maria Tavares de Vasconcelos. Like quite a few pop stars who sang in French (such as the legendary Maurane) she's more of a Belgie than a Frenchie, and was born in Portugal.  When her parents divorced, she, her mother and new stepfather moved to Belgium. Her first big hit was the million-selling "Le Banana Split," followed by "Amoureux Solitaires." It's a bit strange but that song was more popular in Austria (#6) and among the cheese-headed wooden-shoe crowd in Holland (#4) than Belgium (#14).

In case you care, the lyrics are only slightly less moronic than her performance. But...at least she's not being quite the tease you think she's being:

"Hey you, tell me that you love me! Even if it's a lie...tell me that you love me! I need romance..a little chemical pleasure...our brains are too dull...every day is the same...life is so sad....let's be a perfect movie. Hey you, tell me that you love me!"

The song is a pretty radical reworking of "Lonely Lovers" by Denis Quilliard (aka Jacno)  which had English lyrics by yappy Elli Medeiros, who fronted their French new wave band Stinky Toys. Lio's baby-bitch bubblegum version in French had so many wanting to toy with her stinky. 

Is it possible to be any more offensive about her and her video? Like, post a screen cap where you can see her panties a little more clearly and for as long as you want?

Her ass caught the eyes of Ron and Russell Mael, better known as the avant-duo Sparks, and they tried to break her into an American star via "Suite Sixtine," circa 1982, which featured her singing in English. For the next five or six years, she continued to do well...but singing in French. One of her albums, "Pop Model" was co-produced by John Cale. She wisely built up her acting credits, as the music world is far more fickle, especially for artists known for tarty cuteness. Among her replacements: Mylene Farmer's fantastic Lolita, the girl known as Alizee.

Lio began making interesting films in 1990 and 1991, and capped the decade on stage in the Folies Bergere starring in of all unlikely things, a version of "Seven Brides for Seven Brothers." One of her more popular stage shows was "Le Bebe" which had 250 performances.

In her late 40's she began her long-running work as a talent show judge:  "Nouvelle Star" and "The Voice Belgique,"  Reality, what a concept. Yes Lio recently turned 58. But...if she wore this same outfit...plenty of guys would still be interested. No? Oui!