Sunday, December 09, 2012


What do the girls above all have in common?? Guess...

"So many Jews are in show biz. Bruce Springsteen isn't Jewish, but my mother thinks he is."

So sings Adam Sandler, who has written what is arguably the most famous song for the Jewish "Festival of Lights." What else is there? "Dreidel Dreidel Dreidel, I made it out of clay?"

One of the great pastimes of both Jews and Gentiles, is outing Jews…either for pride or pogrom. Either way, there is no question that the small minority has contributed a disproportionate share of great people to the world, including Einstein, Freud, Carl Sagan, Bob Dylan, Stanley Kubrick, Steven Spielberg, Marc Chagall, Modigliani, and some guy named Jesus.

But when the antisemites point to the noses on Mel Brooks or Woody Allen or Groucho Marx, or the gruesome look of Barbra Streisand or the tiny size of Dustin Hoffman…that's when the "well, you know who ELSE is Jewish" game begins, and it includes normal-nosed and downright attractive folks such as Kirk Douglas, Michael Landon, William Shatner, Peter Falk, Rod Serling, Tina Louise, Lauren Bacall, Lisa Kudrow, Winona Ryder, Mayim Bialik, Mila Kunis, Tori Spelling, Paula Abdul, Amanda Peet, Gwyneth Paltrow, Alicia Silverstone and Natalie Portman. And Gina Gershon. Among others. Look at the photos ill-ustrating this entry, and tell me if they fit your stereotype of what a Jewish girl looks like. Stereotypes can be wrong, huh! And when people snicker that Jews are weaklings, well, just point to a sliver of land called Israel, defended by some of the fiercest fighters the world has ever known…which goes back to the heritage of Judah Maccabee (not Scottish).

Enter Adam Sandler, with his annoyingly catchy melody and, as you can find below, his ever-increasing sequels to the "who's Jewish" list. Which, naturally enough, includes people who are half-Jewish, like Lenny Kravitz and Courtney Love who, put together sings Sandler, would be "one bad-ass Jew." And so, even if he doesn't swing like Stan Getz or Herb Alpert, or write melodies like Gershwin, or have the rhythm of Max Weinberg, or sing with the power of Jolson (or even Steve Lawrence, or even Eydie Gorme), here's Adam Sandler, doing what he does best…being heard and not seen.

Adam's Chanukah Song Update #2

Adam's Chanukah Song Update #3


On 12/12/2012 Adam provided one of the highlights of the "Hurricane Sandy" benefit show with his new lyrics for Leonard Cohen's "Hallelujah."

Sandler, doing a kind of Springsteen growl of surliness, actually was better than "The Boss," since this wasn't the umpteenth singing of "Born to Run," there was no fist-pumping, no strumming the guitar like you're slapping wet underwear against a washboard, no stupid-looking soul patch, no bullshit working man's shirt and pants, and no spit-sharing with Little Steven rag-head fatface.

Not to get off on a rant, but Sandler was funnier than Bobby Moynihan and his bomb of a "Drunk Uncle" routine. He was wittier than pompous NBC news-schmuck Brian Williams who is so slimy and self-important and thinks he's so hip with his condescending quips...except this is the asshole who sarcastically told the under-40's in the audience that they had just seen "Uncle Keith Moon" when Pete Townshend had finished performing!

Sandler was also less of a cliche than Bon Jovi or the wearisome self-important Roger Walters. Adam also could handle a solo turn with bare piano backing a lot more interestingly than the fabulous Alicia Keys, who didn't show much charisma, talent, or even beauty during her set. Her voice was weak and thin as she pounded the piano, just some bad cross of Diana Ross and Whitney Houston. We've seen it before, so why the hell is everyone so locked into Keys? She might be good if compared to pompous Kanye West, who was boring with his dumbass nursery-rhyme rapping and absolutely incompetent when he tried to sing. He pranced and sweated all over the stage and made a fool of himself. Time to realize that most rappers and rap songs are pretentious, childish, ignorant and a kick in the balls to Charles Darwin's theory.

Who got the job done that night? Billy Joel, unafraid to show himself in public in his current fat-and-bald state, Paul McCartney still singing pretty well and thankfully shelving "Hey Jude" for the odd choice of "Helter Skelter," and Mick Jagger who wisely sang two numbers and quit (to make sure people wanting more PAID for his concert to be broadcast only a few nights later).

Some outside of New York might not get all the references to the annoying "Squeegee men" (homeless morons who ambush cars at stop lights to demand money for washing the window with filthy water and a greasy rag) or Mayor Bloomberg's legislation that intended to remind people that 32 oz sodas are fattening, unhealthy, and if you can't waddle back to the counter after a 16 oz drink to buy another you are REALLY FUCKED UP. Or Jets quarterback Mark Sanchez who not only fumbled an intended pass, but ended up falling forward into the backside of one of his players.

Adam's HALLELUJAH - SANDY SCREW YA download or listen on line.

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