ROCK-A-BOUTS "She's a Fat Girl" tribute to GERARD DEPARDIEU

Back in the winter of 1958, Chancellor (best known for Fabian and Frankie Avalon singles) released a raucous bit of nastiness called "She's a Fat Girl," which Billboard, in an un-PC age, called "a novelty rocker with funny lyrics." The lyrics: "She's ugly, she's cross-eyed, got big ears, she got buck teeth…but you love her!"

This one-shot obscurity turns up on this obscure blog...as an excuse for a rant! Here's ranting about fat girl Gerard Depardieu! He was always ugly, but instead of buck teeth, he made millions of bucks because he did have talent. He appeared in some oddball and cult films ill folks might enjoy. He was a comical heavy to Harpo-idiot Pierre Richard in "La Chevre" and a bisexual tranny-bully to mousy Michel Blanc in the dark satire "Menage." You see him in his make-up in the image above, as well as in his current corpulent state.

Gerry's made headlines for pissing in public aboard an airplane (it could've been worse; it could've been Depar-doody) and for a recent drunk-driving incident on land (which could've gotten someone killed). While the latter case is still in the courts, the millionaire boor added to his notoriety via taking a Russian passport to protest paying high tax in France!

This is even more outrageous than his outrageous French accent! Russia?

Embracing Vlad Putin? ARE YOU CRAZY?

Listen, Fat Girl, if you were born and raised in Russia, chances are you'd already be dead. You would've been put in the Army and sent off to murder as many people in neighboring countries as you could, before being killed yourself. Maybe, Mr. Actor, you would've been trained by the KGB, sent off in drag to seduce and poison some British spy, and then knocked off to make sure you never talked. If you did manage to make movies in Russia, they'd be so crappy they'd only be shown in gulags where people were forced to watch as a form of torture. How many great Russian films have there been since the silent era?

Fat Girl, we're talking about Russia where girls who formed a rock group got sent to prison! Where creative people have no rights…certainly no copyrights. Where free speech is met by cruelty. Where starving homeless infants are denied adoption by Americans. The lean, hungry, pointy-nosed, plastic-surgery-faced Putin Devil keeps himself in office year after year to engage in activities that would make Rasputin puke. But…oh right, Fat Girl, YOU played Rasputin in a movie and Putin loved it. And he loved posing with you.

Gerry, I know you are a longtime reader of this blog, as so many rich, famous and important people are. But I have to say your Putin-Passport antics make you a DISGRACE. The Ruskies are happy anytime there's a disaster in the Free World (they never send aid). The Ruskies only support countries that are evil and dangerous to the free people of the world. The Ruskies steal all the movies, music and books from the countries that actually have creative and worthwhile product to sell. The Ruskies are so disgusting that anyone with brains and morality tries to escape, from Mikhail Baryshnikov to Milos Forman to Nadia Comaneci.

Fat girl, I am doing what I can. I have taken sanctions against you! For what you've done, this blog will NEVER, not EVER post that Levitt & McClure album you asked for. Nor any "not to be missed" really bad Psych albums that were reduced to mp3s the size of microfilm, farted out of Zinhof's ass and smuggled to Sweden. And most definitely NOT even a SINGLE, like "Sugar Lady" from the group Song, which your beloved Curt Boettcher was involved with! No! Instead of sunshine music or kewl psych, you suffer with the raunchy old Rock-a-Bouts, and their sax-spewing rockabilly song about an ugly fat girl! Adieu, Depardieu! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries.

ROCK-A-BOUTS SHE'S A FAT GIRL