Ill-ustrated Songs #22 : "Tying Up is FUN To Do"

The world's just discovered bondage and domination? Seems that way, thanks to that ugly cow who wrote the "Shades of Grey" series, which is now the subject of tiresome "who will be in the movie" rumors. A quirk of publicity (some people wanting to censor her self-published junk) led idiot women to seek out the ineptly written mommy-porn. Moronic readers have made millionaires of moronic writers over the years…talentless word recyclers like formula fatales Barbara Cartland, Jackie Collins, Nora Roberts or Danielle Steel.

It's no surprise that the late Marquis De Sade's books remain shunned by most everyone. After all, the guy was the real thing. He lived what he wrote. The "Grey Lady" has been a snore on talk shows. Her worst sin is that she has no panache. You can find intelligence, wit, even a certain odd sense of adventurous "fun" in De Sade and so many others…but the "Grey Lady" turns out to be like the result of a bad S&M session…lame.

Which, sparing you any further ranting, leads to "Tying Up is Fun To Do," which is something Dr. Ruth Westheimer could tell you in two perky minutes, or two pages of one of her sex books. The song is on an obscure album by "Franken'Don," which was self-pressed years ago in Vermont. Frank Chase and (shades of) Don Grey took a bunch of familiar 50's and 60's tunes and dirtied up the lyrics a bit. Released on their own "Lox Records" label (produced by a guy named Shapiro), the cuts range from faux-Weird Al ("Another One Buys a Saab") to faux-Allan Sherman ("Thank God I'm a Jewish Boy") to the more universal subjects of sex and stupidity (combined here).

Rather than offer the actual cover of this dollar-bin diversion it's filed under the category of "Ill-ustrated" songs…as we take the actual author, Neil Sedaka, and pair him with his one-time girlfriend Carole Klein (King). You might remember that Neil wrote "Oh Carol" for her, and she, in an early effort to move from songwriter to star, knocked off a slow-selling answer single, "Oh Neil." "Oh…" just download this curiosity and waste two minutes of your life.

Shades of Idiocy! TYING UP IS FUN TO DO Instant download or listen on line. No "type my name as the password" crap, no faux-links to spyware sites, no requests for donations.