GOFUNDME - THE 3 TOED IAN WHITCOMB

Now that the bizarre header has gotten your attention, let's add this, quickly: 

“Wish you get well, Ian Whitcomb.”

(signed) Well Wisher.

Once noted for wide-eyed grinning novelty songs, Ian Whitcomb matured into a funny and poignant singer of old songs. Unfortunately, after you mature, you get old, and when you do, things happen. Like a stroke, which is not something you like. In 2012, Ian’s stroke left him unable to continue his career. The bills began to mount, and now, following more health problems, there’s a GoFundMe page for him. 

As veterans of this blog might recall, an entry back in 2010 listed a few “songs you’ll love to hate.” As Spike Milligan would say, “there’s a lot of it about.” Some of the more obvious examples might be “Who Let the Dogs Out,” “(My Angel is the) Centerfold,” “Come On Eileen,” “Purple People Eater,” etc. etc.  Catchy stuff. You can play it for a party prank and half the room will leave and the other half will clap and sing along. Since this blog ISN’T prone to the obvious, the three-prong pitchfork was “In a Mellotone” by Carol Stevens, “Maybe” by Bobby Pedrick and… “The Awful Tale of Maggie May” by Ian Whitcomb. The entry mentioned that Ian’s “nudge-nudge wink-wink” delivery didn’t show much “respect” for the British Music Hall classic.

Ian himself offered defense: 

“I'm sorry you find me an irritant."Maggie May" was recorded in 1965 as a throwaway. I'm not proud of it but since then I've written a few books,provided songs for a few movies, and at my concerts tried to spread a little happiness.From the picture you use I guess you've been to my website so you know what I've been up to. I'd love to convert you but I guess it's no use…..”  

In my reply, I mentioned “Camp artistes can be brilliant...I told Tiny Tim that my favorite song of his was "Bring Back those Rockabye Baby Days," which I'm sure was hated by many a disc jockey and reviewer at the time. I keep an open mind, which is why something whistles through my ears when the wind blows….”  Another comment in defense of Ian started with: “I for one of many, LOVE Ian Whitcomb. He was a true British Invader…” 

There was something in the water, or in the rum and Ribena, at one point in the U.K.  Somehow the classic, brilliant, boisterous and charming world of British Music Hall (I’m thinking Harry Champion, Vesta Victoria, Billy Merson and Billy Bennett in particular) got mutated by a new generation. The first variant, in the 50’s and early 60’s saw the old spark twisted around via musicals. “Oom Pah Pah” in “Oliver” and “I’m Getting Married in the Morning” from “My Fair Lady” were obvious tips of the hat to the Music Hall days. 

There was also Tommy Steele’s “Half a Sixpence,” and the popular and annoying “Flash, Bang, Wallop” which is still the subject of jokes on “I’m Sorry I Haven’t a Clue.” The reprisals from Whitcomb and Herman’s Hermits, and the coy and frantic nonsense from Freddie and the Dreamers were much more obvious. So was “Tie Me Kangaroo Down, Sport” and other Rolf Harris tunes. Larry David might say “Curb Your Enthusiasm” but “You Turn Me On” from Ian Whitcomb was a hit in 1965. A real bit of cheerfulness, innit?

While Freddie faded away, and Herman (Peter Noone) became a remarkable Dorian Gray-type oldies act (he’s never gotten old and he sings the same perky songs same as the first time), Ian Whitcomb matured.  Do something in your 20’s and you might be called affected or coy or whatever, but if you do it in your 50’s and beyond, and the youthful leering is replaced by a knowing gaze, then maybe you’re a sincere showman. There’s a mark of respect in your preservation of old songs. Tiny Tim, though playing obscure venues, was acknowledged as not quite the freak show he appeared to be, but a true musical scholar who could sing in a more normal voice, play his uke, and give people nostalgia without being too condescending or apologetic.

    Likewise, Whitcomb was no longer the campy clown raising his eyebrows and grinning over “Where Did Robinson Crusoe Go with Friday on Saturday Night?” Here’s “Hungry Women,” which Ian actually performed on Johnny Carson’s “The Tonight Show.” Look, you don’t get to perform in front of Johnny if you’re a total twit. As you can see, Ian grew into an Eric Idle-type of guy who is slightly nuts; old enough to know better, but young at heart enough not to care. 

    A few decades later, and here’s an item that requires no caveat.  “Heartaches” is not a novelty song really, although it was turned into a doo-wop wack-a-doodle by “The Marcels.” Here, acknowledging its age but also its sincerity, is crooner Whitcomb, doing a damn good job of it. I’d liken this to Nick Lowe aging into a contemplative low-key balladeer without apology or any worry about relinquishing his title as Jesus of Cool. While George Harrison was a big fan of the ukelele, almost NOBODY ELSE is. George himself didn’t exactly play it in public did he? No, he’d say “let’s get the ukeleles out” in private. Whitcomb gave the uke some respect. In that regard, you might liken him to Joe Brown strumming the uke and singing “I’ll See You In My Dreams” to close the “Tribute to George Harrison” show in November of 2002.  

    I’ll put it this way. A high school friend of mine reconnected with me a few years ago, thanks to finding me through social media (yeah…a hazard of social media). We met, and had a nice time talking about the old days. It turned out he had a stage name and sometimes performed a “nostalgia act.” This involved crooning “old time” songs while playing a ukelele. Let’s just say that this was a terrible surprise. Dressed like an old-timer, complete with fedora, hoping to come off like the spawn of Bing Crosby and Rudy Vallee, he strummed “Blue Skies” with his uke cradled in his arms, and warm, friendly smile that was as intimate and creepy as a pedophile holding out candy.  I never saw him again. He was no Ian Whitcomb!  

 Ian is alive and…well, not so well.  Things got worse for him last month. September 26: “Ian's big toe plus the one next to it (right foot) were amputated on Tuesday. They were gangrenous from the lack of circulation caused by the blood clot. Yesterday his foot checked out healthy. That's good. Today, Ian sounds determined to do the work to get securely back on his feet…this could have been worse. I know many people have experienced and survived such challenges. We all play the hand we're dealt…”  From his GoFundMe page:

    “Ian Whitcomb received  Surgical Thrombectomy on Sept. 19.  A blood clot, in his right leg,  severely limited circulation…/There have been many complications since Ian had the stroke in 2012.  He hasn't worked…No income for 7 years. Now we must ask for your help.  Any amount. Ian's recovery and rehabilitation will be long and expensive.  Left to what medicare covers he will not improve….” Yes, blame Obama or Trump or both, Medicare is not the carefree panacea it was envisioned to be. Go to a hospital and have a nurse give you an aspirin, and you could be billed $250 for the visit and $250 for the pill. In America, unless you pay a huge amount of insurance for “total coverage,” the person on Medicare is most certainly going to have to pay 20% and with all the over-charging for a hospital bed, treatment, and a nurse or doctor looking in, this can easily send anyone into bankruptcy. I recall that Dave Van Ronk became ill, and a fundraiser was needed for him, and I’m sure one could create quite a list of famous and beloved names that have had similar problems due medical bills during the “golden years.” More on the GoFund Me campaign:  

GO FUND ME - IAN WHITCOMB

Ian’s wife writes that Ian “loves to receive cards and letters. He re-reads his cards several times. It warms his heart. Address to P.O. Box 451, Altadena, CA. 91003. I'll deliver them wherever he is.”