If you’re a fan of Woody Allen, you’ll be amused, fascinated and surprised by what’s in his memoir, the one that gutless Hachette refused to publish. Do you know the background on that? They were fine with it, until Ronan Farrow vowed never to write for Hachette again unless they scuttled the book. So much for Freedom of Speech.
Ronan's the guy who went bonkers claiming NBC censored a piece he wanted to do on Harvey Weinstein. Yet he wants to censor a book. Well, who said he's a journalist? Mama Mia and nepotism got him a TV show (which failed, despite his oh-so-pink-lipped cutie-pie looks) and you can bet that without a huge staff at The New Yorker he couldn't figure out how to end a sentence with a period. Oh, periods...sorry, the guy wouldn't know from those, and only exposes heterosexuals (Les Moonves, Harvey Weinstein, Woody Allen) and turns away from, say, Kevin Spacey's crimes and misdemeanors.
Turns out he’s not above threats and extortion. It worked. The wussy fools at Hachette caved but another publisher decided Woody's story deserves to be told. It's fair to say most people who buy it (gee, people still BUY when they can download free!) will do it not particularly for the scandal involving The Three Farrows, but for his frank and often self-deprecating descriptions of his life and his films. Woody backs up all his remarks on the Farrow loons with facts and testimony from neutral parties.
Which leads us to the musical interlude below. It’s a song Dory Previn wrote about the totallly UN-neurotic and UN-scheming Mia Farrow…after Mia took away Dory’s husband, Andre Previn. I’ll let Woody fill you in on it. Tap below and both paragraphs will appear....
There’s been so much downright stupid gossip about Woody Allen over the years. Some of it he debunks in the book, like the notion he only dates very young women. No, he dated only two, really. The first one became personified by Mariel Hemingway in the comedy-drama “Manhattan.” The second was Soon-Yi Previn (not his daughter...Mia's adopted daughter). She was 22 at the time, and he'd known her for many years (and they disliked each other) before the sparks began. They have been married over 20 years - his third marriage being a total success, especially compared to his previous two and Mia's two). No, Mia and Woody were never married. Woody might be, #metoo shrieking to the contrary, one of the most
respectful guys when it comes to women. Most of his staff are women
(nobody can say he hit on them or any of his leading ladies). Many of
his films have female protagonists, and have won awards for Cate
Blanchett (“Blue Jasmine”) and Diane Keaton (“Annie Hall”) among others.
This prolific genius has filled the screen with great roles for women
and portrayed them with dialogue and scenes that one might think only an
authoress could create.
Oh, did I use the term genius?
Woody doesn’t. Revelations throughout the book include honest skewerings
of his own stardom. No, he considers himself something of a dolt for
all the books he has NOT read, and for films he made that he admits
didn’t succeed, and for being a mediocre clarinet player who people see
for who he is and not how he sounds. The book has a lot of chuckles and
witty lines, but unlike some of his arch, too-Perelman New Yorker
pieces, not to the point of being a distraction. He tends to resist
going for the cheap laugh, although by nature, he is a humorist who
can’t help ad-libbing a comic truth.
I could go on, but
you’d think I was a friend of his. Fan yes. I’ve only met him a few
times. He’s a nice, humble guy, and I don’t think too many who don’t
have Farrow for a last name would disagree. (Mia I've merely seen. Maybe from six feet away, which was close enough to take some photos and not get the flu. Her beauty had an undercurrent to it, a fragility if you will. Or a seeming vulnerability. Which does make tales about her Ms. Hyde side of nutsiness and Mommy Dearest violence a bit of a shock.) Here's Dory, who was very much influenced by the "art song," and sometimes used water color rather than an acid pen. My own favorite of hers is "Doppelganger." No, not "The Comedian" which is a bit much (circus music and too comical a beat). It's more a nose tweek about some hack jokester, rather than a meditation on what's funny and what isn't. Woody would tell you Groucho is funny. Dory believed we are "Children of Coincidence and Harpo Marx."
Another artist with albums that could bring him some money, is instead on his knees, on the GoFundMe page:
In the human body, cells go out of control and become destructive. These are cancer sells. On the Internet, people go out of control and become destructive. These are bloggers. Just maybe, just MAYBE, Randy would have had some extra savings in the bank if his early major label record albums were given attractive CD re-issues. But we know that re-issue labels have faltered and failed because piracy is rampant and the Internet culture has declared "music should be free." I found, having pitched re-issues (with bonus tracks) for some of my well known singer-songwriter friends, that the answer at the labels became, more and more, and then permanently, "No, we can't even break even anymore." When the re-issue label needed only 500 to 1000 copies to make it worthwhile for all concerned, the deciding factor was often "how many blogs are already giving away downloads," and how many FEWER people would have followed the blogger's rote remark, "if you like it, buy it." How about leave it alone so there's buyer demand? How about posting ONE song only, so that people might actually take a gamble that the rest of the album would also be good? Bloggers have been giving away Randy Burns for years...and we're talking about someone who ain't McCartney, and doesn't have, obviously, a huge bank account so that piracy doesn't matter...
You get the idea...the excuse used to be that posting whole albums on Elvis or Buddy Holly didn't hurt anybody but the "BAD GUYS" who run the evil record labels. Then EVERYBODY became fair game. As in "my blog can beat YOUR blog," and "hey everyone, look at ME, look how many comments I get, it's like I'm in the music business! I'm so KEWL! I'm The Music Man, dig? I use a password so nobody can steal MY hard work, I hide my links so bots can't remove them, and I'm now using Filecrypt because I get royalties. PS, gimme a Paypal donation!"
It's gotten to the point where no excuse is needed for downloading entire albums or discographies. It's just...the Internet. It's lawless. Ho ho. Go to a forum or a shoutbox and if you don't see what you want, say "Anybody GOT?" Somebody will help, because the important thing is for everyone to save money on music and spend it on beer. So far there's no way to anonymously download beer via the Internet. On Randy’s website, http://randyburns.net/music.html he has a few of his newer CDs for sale. NOT “sharing” as free downloads. Gosh, why is THAT? He’d like to get PAID for his work? But there are anonymous people relentless upping and re-upping even the obscurities of Randy Burns, making it impossible for authorized re-issues, with bonus tracks and researched CD notes, to EVER get made.
But some guy in Redneckville who can't get laid and spends all day adding to his whole album blog, or some nobody for whom English is a second language, and who can barely say "I do this for FUN," they know better, huh? They figure that not only should Barbra Streisand be pirated because she's got money, but hey, do Randy Burns and his colleagues, too, whole albums, because...uh, because...because record store owners shouldn't own a business they love and be able to "talk music" to real music loving music buying customers? They should sell t-shirts or smoothies instead? That's as "logical" a reason as any. Maybe. My experience, in actually BEING in the music business, as well as knowing plenty of musicians as well as blogging, is that maybe 5% of artists don’t mind their entire album being given away. This is usually the case of an album "lost" due to some complicated rights issue. For example, I know of a woman who got an indie re-issue on CD. She was proud. It was well done. Great album notes. It sold out its printing of 1000 copies. Guess what, because she didn't own the music (Universal, owner of MCA and Decca did), she had no say when Universal REFUSED to license another 1000 copies. Who knows what they were thinking. Maybe, "Hey, if they sold 1000 so easy, let's charge them DOUBLE this time." Whatever, she is one of the artists who would rather people get her stuff free than not at all. But that's the small 5%.
Most artists don't like the parasites on the Internet, but are afraid of being hacked and harassed for “spoiling the fun" by complaining. They also know how easy Google makes it to get another blog, or for people to hide in obscure forums, or to use torrents based in Putinville. "It's whack-a-mole," they say, knowing the spread of their music can happen as swiftly as a cancer diagnosis telling them they've got parasites eating their healthy blood cells...and that it'll cost a fortune to stop the hell.
It seems most stoppages of music piracy involve the latest albums by Taylor Swift and that bunch. Don't fuck with Taylor Swift...but plunder Connie Francis. So why doesn't Connie fight back? She’s going to risk threatening e-mails, a break-in, or some other abuse? She’s had enough in her life already, as some might know, and she’s quite elderly now.
She expresses how she feels about being exploited and used here: HERE IN THIS MESSAGE Too bad that artists such as Connie Francis, or Randy Burns, are like Mom and Pop stores that can't do much against professional shoplifters. They either accept the "shrinkage" and live with it, and live modestly, or go out of business. Or beg on GoFundMe or Kickstarter. Randy Burns was on the esp label (they also signed The Fugs and Pearls Before Swine) back when he was playing on the same bill with colleagues Tom Paxton, Dave Van Ronk, Eric Andersen, Phil Ochs and Carolyn Hester. What bloggers can do, in dialing back their abuse and their egotism, is WRITE about the artist, and post one link, or the link to streaming music on YouTube. Here's a vintage Randy Burns track. WHEN DAYLIGHT COMES IN EVERYTHING was originally on the ESP album “Evening of the Magician," which is now controlled by CD Baby for sales and streaming, with Randy getting a royalty check. Streaming the songs on YouTube is honest, and so is providing a link, as you see below. It's a lot more ethical than being part of the anonymous jerks who make people shrug "the Internet is lawless...and nothing can be done about it." Is that lack of civility what we need more of, in a world where people yap on cellphones, blast the music all night, let the dog shit on the sidewalk, have graffiti sprayed all over, insult the elderly, use up natural resources and don't recycle, and brag about cheating? It's a dark world that accepts corruption. selfishness and bad behavior as the norm. WHEN DAYLIGHT COMES do you notice it's just a little dirtier and grayer than the day before?
Randy Burns: WHEN DAYLIGHT COMES IN EVERYTHING. A legal link to the music. Big thanks to those who have given to the RANDY BURNS GoFUNDMe
A big "what the FUCK" to the people who think it's "kewl" and it's FUN and it's "sharing" and it's "loving the music" to toss entire copyrighted albums and entire discographies around via free links and free blogs and free forum memberships. The excuse is the same as the ones chavs use when they steal a busker's hat full of coins and run away with it: "I felt like it. Ha!"
It was kinda ironic, listening to Jenny Darren's "LAY ME LIKE A LADY." The sexy sweaty brawling blues-rock chorus seemed like a shout-out to rough sex. I mean, what LADY even uses the term "LAY ME?" Her tune first turned up as a UK single in 1975, and Americans got it as the closing track to her debut album in the USA. A less amusing irony for Jenny Darren is that 45 years later, and nobody buys physical albums on vinyl or CD, and few even pay for a download version of one. And SHE could hardly find 50 people to "support" the musical merch she was trying to sell. Anybody buying THIS album off somebody on eBay for even a dollar? Forget the bullshit about "vinyl is making a comeback" just because a few trendy Millennials want to brag that they spent way too much for a limited pressing on "record store day." It's hard to even find a record store, and most of you probably don't even know Jenny Darren had something to sell, and that goes for Wendy James having something to sell, or Genya Ravan having a new album, or Fanny having a new album or Raun MacKinnon, and it's not just the "old" artists struggling. It's even worse for new ones.
Christ. I was one of those people hunting the record stores every week, and throwing down bucks taking a chance on artists whose albums LOOKED like they might be good. Today's "music fan" just goes to shoutboxes, blogs, forums and torrents sucking and sucking anything free on Zippyshare, and then crying "anybody have..." for something a bit esoteric or indie. Who makes money? Zippyshare. And a few nefarious bloggers who use premium services because they feel THEY should be paid for THEIR hard work. That's how they justify their exystence. Er, existence. Ha ha. Back to JENNY....
What DO you do if you are an artist and you want to be "SUPPORTED" with your new music, or the good stuff you've done over the years? You put a few samples on YouTube or Spotify that get you nowhere. You "network" by pestering people you don't know via Twitter or Facebook until they block you. If you're a Jenny Darren and have some minor name-recognition and some die-hard fans who still care, and could possibly get some new listeners who want to hear a real woman instead of a twit like Taylor...you hope and pray that you get found on FACEBOOK. Uh, not exactly the BEST paradigm. See for yourself, as Jenny admits that 50 Jenny Darren Fans Can't...be found.
Jenny is far from alone. A post like this could be done on Wendy James or dozens and dozens of others, both older talents who have credits, and newcomers who are very talented only nobody knows it and nobody ever will, and all they hear is "don't quit your day job..." followed by "why not put ALL your music on Spotify and YouTube and have FREE DOWNLOADS on that website you pay so much money a month for?" At one time, the spin of the stealer’s wheel…ie, the EXCUSE given by bloggers who “share” entire album and discographies “for fun,” was: “get a new paradigm. WE think MUSIC should be FREE, and copyright is COPY WRONG!” Some shrug and see artists should give away the music and make money selling t-shirts or hats. Yeah? How many hats and t-shirts does anyone wear? The average music blogger asshole from Holland, Sweden, Brazil or Redneck USA wears the same one stinking t-shirt every day. That's the one who thinks he's "kewl" with his daily uploads of whole discographies and albums...the one who never gets laid obviously....the one who grunts "if you like it, buy it," and then demands thanks for giving way somebody else's work. Why not be a fucking Robin Hood and shoplift food from Tesco or Walmart and give it to the needy? Oh, right, you might be caught. It's easier to prey on artists who can't spend all day finding every sneaky hidden link on a blog, and then leaving a "please, please" asking for the stealing to stop. Some figure that big artists (Elton, Macca, etc.) don't need the money. But those guys are often funding the newcomers that get signed to their record labels. The less albums they sell, the less chance thee is for the new artists to get promoted. Also, not every artist is as ego-driven as Elton and Macca. Some are offended and depressed that their new albums aren't selling in the same quantities as they used to. Steve Miller and Carly Simon and Joni Mitchell and similar artists find it too humiliating to get low sales, and their dignity is hurt when they don't even get a decent royalty check from Spotify or YouTube for "streaming" plays. The "new paradigm" was SUPPOSED to be getting paid for having your music "streamed" rather than downloaded. Ha ha. Ho ho. Hee hee. As for more cult-oriented acts, like Genya Ravan, Fanny, Gunhill Road etc. etc., even if they Facebook constantly, few even know they've got new product and all you have to do is find it on YouTube. Nah. You may have noticed how many items on YouTube have an abominably LOW number of views. NICE goin' Pablo. You upped Jenny Darren's "HEARTBREAKER" and less than 150 have listened:
Jenny was the first to cover "Heartbreaker." The guy who wrote it wrote several songs on her "Queen of Fools" album, including the closing track, "Lay Me Like a Lady," which had been a 1975 single released on a division of Decca but with a "safe" re-titling so that radio station managers might let it slide....
Jenny's "Heartbreaker" did nothing in the UK in September of 1978. Pat Benatar pushed it just inside the top 20 (Cashbox) and just outside it at #23 (Billboard) in October of 1979. Benatar followed it with “Hit Me With Your Best Shot” in the summer of 1980. In the summer of 1980, Jenny Darren got one more chance with DJM, releasing a single called “Lover.” It went un-loved. And nearly 40 years later, her pretending to be an amateur and an appearance on "Britain's Got Talent" did little except get her some extra Facebook friends and followers who expected her to post photos and music FREE. Giving a sample song for free is one thing. But the thing now, is to give it all away. This kind of slut logic does not lead to respect. It has no dignity. It's no way to make a living.
“Lay Me Like a Lady,” which opens meekly, like a Juice Newton country-rock ballad, but then goes all Genya, or Elkie, with white-hot white-soul raving.
Last time the general public saw Jenny Darren perform, it was on "Britain's Got Talent," the show that conspires with professionals to pretend they're "amateurs" getting a dream chance to perform in public.
The all-too-familiar scam has Simon Cowell, tongue-in-cheek, say "go on, this is your chance, let's see what you can do," to somebody who has already had a record deal, or been playing Vegas, or is making a comfy living on cruise ships. Simon is so corrupt, he's even greeted contestants on "America's Got Talent" as strangers...when they ALREADY appeared on "Britain's Got Talent." (A glaring example being Stevie Starr the "Regurgitator," who I remember seeing in Montreal in the late 80's when he was on the comedy club circuit.) There was even the un-Godly case of a priest called “Father Ray Kelly” who was brought out as a modest amateur. After the audience went wild for him, the tabloids gleefully pointed out he’d been signed to a major label only a few years earlier! He was on the same show as...yes...Jenny Darren. In the clip below, you can see him backstage with Jenny, acting like a nervous newcomer. Just as Stevie Starr was familiar to me when he modestly walked onto the "Got Talent" stage, the name "Jenny Darren" struck a rockin' bell as soon as it was flashed on the screen. Jenny Darren? The 70's rival to Elkie Brooks and Genya Ravan? She'd have to be... When asked her age, she admitted to 68. Asked what she did for a living, Jenny said “I’m retired.” She did NOT say “I used to be a rock singer, signed with DJM, and I made several albums and issued a handful of singles.” The judges...all fine actors and actresses...pretended this elderly“retiree” in the dowdy outfit would be a quick buzz, and not another Susan Boyle or Janey Cutler.
WOO HOO! Jenny stripped down to biker-leather and started to sing as passionately as old Tina Turner or old Tom Jones! Want to see for yourself? Take a look at the bullshit set-up, the goggle-eyed “surprised” looks from the judges and the fake-o reaction shots from audience members which were no doubt spliced in. Why do I say spliced in? I’ve been at tapings of "Got Talent, and the warm-up guy actually told us, “We’re going to have cameras zero in on various audience members, and sections…to get reaction shots. We do this now when the lighting is good. So let’s get started…when I say three, I want you to all look SHOCKED like you’ve just seen something amazing…great…now when I count to three, I want you to all start LAUGHING, as if you heard the funniest joke...”
Be one of the TWO MILLION who have seen Jenny on the show...and be one of the TWO MILLION who never bought a song from her and never "supported" her when she managed to book herself into some small local club with cheap admission (or maybe none at all, just please buy a drink).
Gotta admit, Jenny Darren sounded great, didn’t she? It would be naive to expect that she would've signed a record deal off this splashy performance, or that if she did, ANYBODY would actually BUY the CD. Quite a few "Got Talent" winners got a CD deal and were dropped after one release, and many others only self-made discs to sell on their websites...with few bothering. After all, with so much FREE music being given away on the Internet, why spend money that could go to beer and chips, which can't be downloaded? Besides, surely in a forum or a shoutbox, some "kind soul" will answer the "anybody got" request. "Anybody got Jenny Darren stuff? I'm interested, but not enough to simply go on eBay or Amazon and buy. Not even a used copy where the seller runs a charity shop." Jenny was put through to the next round but...was kicked off "Britain's Got Talent" when the ever PC tabloids began snooping her on social media and discovered she "liked" some un-PC things on Twitter, and apparently wrote a few anti-semitic things on Facebook. The chaste tabloids refused to quote any of it (unlike, say, Tyson Fury's anti-semitic ravings which never caused a boxing match to be canceled). But really, it doesn't take much for the villagers with their torches to burn down somebody's career and extinguish their hopes.
Another example? Here you go. Ray Jessel, who, like Jenny Darren, was presented to the public as an elderly, eccentric amateur instead of a longtime PROFESSIONAL. Before he takes the stage, he admits, vaguely, "I only started performing when I was 72." But doesn't mention that he was a successful songwriter and comedy writer -- from the Broadway musical "Baker Street" (with Fritz Weaver as Sherlock Holmes) to the Smothers Brothers, "Love Boat," and the Carol Burnett show, to songs on CDs from Michael Feinstein, etc. etc.
What happened to the whimsical-looking Mr. Jessel? He sang a novelty tune “What She’s Got” (aka “The Penis Song” aka “She’s Got a Penis.”) It was a simple yock about how he began dating a “woman” who turned out to be a man and guess what, “her penis is bigger than mine!”
Everybody laughed and the judges happily passed him on to the next round…but overnight the P.C. brigade decided old Ray was homophobic, and being mean to the transgender community for joking about NOT wanting to date a chick with a dick. Oooh. So Jessel was OUT. Instead of a record deal or a chance to play Vegas, the next few months were nothing but some local bookings in California, and flying halfway around the world for the Adelaid Cabaret Festival in Australia. Then he dropped dead. What was that tune? "VIdeo Killed the Radio Star." Yeah? The Internet has killed just about every music star...aside from rappers, boy band idiots, overtly gay cretins like Sam Smith, obese clods like Adele, and the usual parade of slutty tarts who people want to see in person hoping for a wardrobe malfunction (intentional though it may be). Why go to shows when you can see the live performances on YouTube free? Why buy the music when "cool" bloggers and shoutbox denizens with Banksy-type idiot names will happily toss the shit to ya for a "nice" comment in return? The problem with NOT supporting the artists is that eventually there ARE NONE. There's no wailin' Jenny Darren, and no funny Ray Jessel, that's for sure...there's predictable sound-alike pop-rap from Taylor or Miley, and monotonous cursing and whining from Jeezy or Jay-Z or Nipsey or B.I.G. or whoever hasn't been shot. The music industry IS dead; it's now just a zombie landscape with few record labels, thousands of people paying for indie CDs that don't sell, and millions offering their music on YouTube to people who will never find it because everyone can stuff their eyes and ears with audio and video bootlegs of the big stars who can afford to let the parasites steal from them. Some "cool" dudes write, "no copyright abuse intended," ha ha. Others say, "if a rights owner wants a take down, just ask," only a rights owner would be spending every second, nine to five, finding every sneak and trying to get a desist instead of a re-up. Jenny Darren would like to still perform, and still have the satisfaction of releasing music before she's called away to meet Ray Jessel. The reply is, what, "too bad, times have changed?" Yep. And you can get "The Time's They are a Changin'" on a free download with just a quick Google. Because Google, who make a million every day, and are the owners of YouTube and Blogspot, are your FRIEND. They just aren't the friends of artists trying to make a living.
