CIRCULAR CIRCULATION DOESN'T LAST -- GOODBYE TO "Miss Mercy" of Frank Zappa's GTO'S

Once in a while on my late-night radio show so many years ago, I offered up the crackpot tune "Circular Circulation," one of the better numbers from the GTO's, "Permanent Damage" album produced by Frank Zappa. It's actually titled "Do Me Once and I'll be Sad, Do me Twice and I'll Know Better." It was produced by Lowell George (who wrote the music) and sung by Pamela Des Barres.

I didn't want to annoy my listeners TOO much, but it was after midnight, and they knew they were not going to get mainstream rock. Well, not much of it. One of my favorite segues was to play "Lonesome Cowboy Burt" (from Zappa's 200 Motels album) and when Burt ends with "...you hot little bitch," I'd have the Rolling Stones and "Bitch" cued on the other turntable. Clever? Not a lot. But it amused me. It also amused me to be on the radio at all, and this was at a time when not EVERYBODY could do that. (Gee, I could do a PODCAST now, like another ten million people are doing. Wheeee.)

I suppose Genesis, Jethro Tull and Boko Harum or whatever they called themselves, were as mainstream as I tended to get. Oh, except for deserving obscure artists who could've been mainstream successes but weren't, like Ron Nagle and Priscilla Coolidge and others who've turned up on this blog.

As I recall, "Circular Circulation" was the "pick" from the album, appearing on one of those Warner Bros. "Loss Leaders" dollar discs you could get by mail. Albums like those were helpful for me avoiding the more predictable stuff on the radio station shelves. (I also brought in my own Yoko Ono singles and albums, but I digress way too much).

The GTO's stood for "Girls Together Outrageously" as far as most were concerned. "Girls Together Orally" and "Girls Together Only" were also popular among the era's rock writers and disc jockeys, the latter favored by the girls when they were first asked about the name.

The ringleader was Miss Pamela (Pamela des Barres, of plaster-caster fame). Also on the album: Miss Sandra (Sandra Lynn Rowe), Miss Cinderella (Cynthia Wells, whose marriage to John Cale was derailed by an affair with Kevin Ayers) and Miss Christine (the late Christine Frka who overdosed at 22, and may be best loved for being the "Hot Rats" cover girl). Also worth noting: the pioneering Miss Sparky (Sandra Rowe Harris) who dropped out of the group due to pregnancy, is not on the album, and died in 1991 due to cancer.

Miss Mercy (Judith Peters) was a very important member of the group, supplying some of the lyrics and vocals. She died two days ago July 27th. Like almost all the GTO's except Pamela, her fame ended when the group disbanded. None of Pamela's outrageous-looking co-conspirators seemed to be able to even get to the level of incompetent cult-fame as labelmate Wild Man Fischer. None seemed inclined to turn up naked in "San Francisco Ball" or "Fetish Times" or some other West Coast underground-ish newspaper. Before she disappeared into "I used to have her phone number, maybe I can send it to you" status, she did manage to shag and marry funkoid sugar-man Shuggie Otis, and produce a child, John "Lucky" Otis.

I know. You want to actually hear Miss Mercy. OK. She sang and wrote the words (Lowell George again supplied the music) for the item below, "I Have a Paintbrush In My Hand to Color a Triangle." I admit, I didn't play it on the radio 'cause, well, at the time all I had was the Loss Leader albums, and the other GTO's track was some stupid shit about Captain Beefheart's girly shoes. Something like that. Not this:

I have the CD version of "Permanent Damage." The booklet is autographed over two pages  by Pamela des Barres. There were only a few blank parts in the booklet. She started on one page (with her, Miss Cinderella and Miss Sandra). She finished writing on the facing page which shows Miss Christine and Miss Mercy, and it ends..."I'm glad I got you off, Pamela Des Barres." I will officially say this refers to the album, and her infamous memoir. 

If you can't quite make out Miss Mercy's paragraph it says: "The GTO's are to me a combination of the world's beauty and ugliness we are supreme yet the gutter that's all except there's no forever." Each band member had a chance to dedicate the re-issue to somebody or group, and Miss Mercy chose "Joe Brynth and Brian."

Condolences to Joe and Brian and all who knew and loved her,  and to those who bought The GTO's album and are still temporarily in circular circulation. 

 

WE STILL LOL with some songs by LOL MASON - AND THRILL TO OTHERS from CITY BOY

A year ago, LOL MASON, of CITY BOY and THE MAISONETTES passed on. No better tribute could be offered than this, from LOL's great friend and CITY BOY co-conspirator, Steve Broughton (Fat Legs and Dwafe refer to their prickly hilarious habit of insulting each other with new made-up nicknames):

LOL MASON July 4, 1950 - July 30, 2019

Tomorrow will be one year since my best friend passed away. I still can’t believe it, and I still haven’t forgiven the old bastard. Hardly a day passes without him entering my head with some silly song invented, some practical joke played, some nonsense catch phrase made up, some loving insult thrown around, some memory jogged. I’m not sure I can express myself any better than I did in the memorial I wrote 5 days after he left this mortal coil a poorer place. So I’m posting it again below.

Hope you’re still sleeping easy, Fat Legs.

Miss you,

Dwafe

REST IN PEACE, LOL MASON

On the morning of July 30, 2019, I lost my best friend, school mate, teammate, band mate, co-conspirator, and soul brother, to a fatal heart attack. To say that my own heart broke at the same time as his did, would be an understatement. He’d waited what seemed like an eternity for a new kidney. He received one on July 6th, two days after his birthday, four days after mine. He was recovering at home. He was in a happy and sunny place when his heart broke.

We played on the same football teams at school, met our first girlfriends together, and double dated when I met my wife-to-be on our first trip to America. We wrote our first songs together, formed our first band together, celebrated its success and mourned its dissolution, and went on to have independently successful and creatively satisfying careers - he as a Maisonette and later as a screenwriter, and me as a songwriter and then as a record company executive. We stubbornly refused to talk for a few years, then reunited as if those dark times had never existed, and celebrated with childish giggles like the wee 7 year olds we were when we first met. We never ceased calling each other by the derogatory nicknames we gave each other at school, and we never forgot that our friendship was special.

I can count on one hand the things in life I consider to be irreplaceable. I now need one less finger.

Many keep asking, "Isn't there more? Just a little MORE to be found on Lol Mason or City Boy?" Like what, some bonus tracks? With piracy being what it is, there are almost NO re-issue labels still in operation. They couldn't make a profit between licensing fees and jerks "sharing" everything in FLAC.

One disappointment is that years ago, when CITY BOY was treated to a pair of budget "two-for" CD re-issues of their 4 Mercury albums, there were no bonus tracks added. No, fans were lucky enough that one of the smaller re-issue labels had taken a chance at all. No, no bonus tracks from FM radio concerts, and not...."TURN ON TO JESUS." 

The imperfect dupe-of-a-dupe version below was all fans could circulate among themselves. (Another re-issue label, appropriately called Lemon, finally added "Turn on to Jesus" which was released briefly as a single, and "Medicine," a b-side) to THEIR re-issues but...it's too little too late, and despite all the hype of pretending something has been "remastered," few fall for it. Either they are too old to hear any difference, or too cynical about one or two bonus tracks being worth the price of re-buying the same stuff over again ).

On casual listen "Turn On to Jesus" by City Boy  is oddly ungodly. On the wrong side of the border, a city boy finds a house full of "ladies of the night." But what thrills are they into? One of them cries out, "HEY MAN! Turn on to JESUS!"

The inspiration? Lol Mason and Steve Broughton, the band's lead vocalists, were touring America and got stuck right in the middle of the country. Broughton:

"Lol and I spent time in a dry area of Kansas. There’s no bars, the only place you can get a drink is one of these ‘religious’ clubs, with topless waitresses with dollar bills stuffed in their G-strings, and out of the jukebox is blaring this ‘Jesus is the Saviour’-music. It was bizarre – I mean, that kind of thing just doesn’t happen in Birmingham."

Birmingham, England, not Alabama.

"Turn On to Jesus" was nixed by the band's record label, over worries that the song could be interpreted as profane. By the time "Book Early" was released, new lyrics were written. The result was "5-7-0-5," the band's only hit single. God moves in mysterious ways.

In another twist, the lead vocal was not from Lol or Steve, but Roy Ward, who had been brought in by the band's producer Mutt Lange (yes, of later Shania Twain infamy) who wanted a better drummer and perhaps a new sound as well, since the band's harmonizing had been accused of sounding too much like Queen.

You'll find the "obit with music" on the great Lol Mason from last year right here:

Ill Folks' tribute to LOL MASON

And down below, a Mega link (listen or download) for the lost gem "TURN ON TO JESUS."

TURN ON TO JESUS

This post is of course, dedicated to the memory of LOL MASON, and also offered for all the friends and family of CITY BOY. The tribute from Steve comes from his post for the CITY BOY fan group on FACEBOOK. Join and find some vintage photos and memories. Like this picture of Lol and Steve.

RENDING FOR BENT FABRIC - He goes down the Big Alley, cats

When I was flippin’ through the dollar bin, I’d often see “BENT FABRIC.” I had no idea what it meant. Some bad rock group? Some middle of the road singers? The fact that one cover had a wet-eyed wet-nosed dog on it was enough to turn me off.

 

If “BENT FABRIC” was the bastard son of ACKER BILK, I didn’t care. Not with THAT dopey album cover. As a dwindling few of you might know…

 

…Bent Fabric was actually a Danish pianist named Bent Fabricius-Bjerre (December 7, 1924 – July 28, 2020) and the VERY LEAST one can do is give away some fabric samples. For more, stream on YouTube and don’t feed the ego of some ego-asshole with a blog loaded with discographies and the notion that serving up other peoples’ music without asking or payment is generosity. They have nothing better to do except throw it all out there like it’s their duty; “More stuff tomorrow. I have nothing better to do! Pretend I’m cool and a show biz insider! Leave a nice comment. Copyright is copy wrong! Fair use! Entire albums fo review purposes! I make up the rules! Don’t let the bastards win! I’ll re-up anything if you give me a Paypal tip.  Later!”

But I digress. The focus is on rending our garments in mourning for BENT FABRIC.

Obscure now, he most certainly entertained a lot of people all over the world, and like ACKER BILK, had one hit that made his name immortal. Well, sort of.  How many people under 40 ever heard of ”Stranger on the Shore” or ACKER BILK? Consider the same number for “Alley Cat” written by Frank Bjorn (actually Mr. Fabricius-Bjerre using yet another pen name) and performed by BENT FABRIC?

“Alley Cat”  originally had nothing to do with a prowling feline. For those who speak Danish (and get the crumbs off your lips), there’s no need to translate: “"Omkring et Flygel.”  For the rest, it’s “Around a Piano.” With a name change to “Alley Cat” (being on a major label means you get creative input to help your commercial appeal and EARNING A LIVING),  it strutted into the Top 10 all over the world. Lyricists rushed to put words to the tune so that a variety of singers could get some bucks, too. Mr. Fabric ended up with a million seller, a Gold Record and a 1963 Grammy in….hold on…the ”Best Rock and Roll Recording” category.

“Alley Cat” beat out  “Breaking Up is Hard to Do” by Neil Sedaka, “Twistin’ The Night Away” by Sam Cooke, “Up on the Roof” by The Drifters, “Big Girls Don’t Cry” by The Four Seasons, and “You Beat Me To the Punch” from Mary Wells.  In 1965 the category name was changed to “Best Contemporary Rock and Roll Single” and changed again in 1970 to “Best Contemporary Song.” As opposed to what, “Best Song from Five or Ten Years Ago that Got Re-Issued?”

The rush-release of a full album for “Alley Cat” meant the inclusion of such filler as “Across the Alley from the Alamo,” “You Made me Love You,” “Comme Ci, Comma Ca” and “Baby Won’t You Please Come Home.” 

It’s human nature to try and duplicate a success, so BENT FABRIC followed “Alley Cat” with “Chicken Feed” and “The Happy Puppy.” The former pecked around outside the Top 50 (which was, ha ha ha, chicken feed) and his label was dismayed when the latter sniveled outside the Top 100.  Both those singles are on “The Happy Puppy” album with that wet-eyed drooly, shit-spewing weiner dog on the front cover.  But don’t give up, Mr. Fabric. There’s a menagerie out there.

More BENT FABRIC albums hit the racks: “The Drunken Penguin” and "Organ Grinder's Swing" (1964), “Never Tease Tigers” (1966) and “Operation Lovebirds” (1967).  Monotonous, isn’t it? This guy went animal crackers. Eventually his label figured BENT FABRIC was all wet, and they left him hung out to dry. The golden years for BENT FABRIC were the 60’s, when instrumentals were actually considered a legitimate art form for singles. Sadly (for some) the days of Wine and Roses and Henry Mancini and Ray Coniff and Percy Faith and Mitch Miller and BENT FABRIC were coming to an end.

I think part of the problem was that by the 70’s, the trend toward singers was spiked by more and more foreigners learning to speak English. In fact every country seemed to have English as a second language (except America, where Spanish was starting to become more and more popular until bilingual signs began turning up in most major cities).  Aside from walking your “Alley Cat” you could take “A Walk in the Black Forest” while staring through the trees to see “Telstar” only to mutter “Wipe Out.” Instrumentals could be fun, especially if the alternative was Kyu Sakamoto singing “Sukiyaki” or Dominico Modugno singing “Volare.” But come the 70’s, and a record player in every home everywhere, and every country had a recording studio for its native-language singers and every radio station could play the superior English-speaking singers and not worry that listeners wouldn’t understand the lyrics. Well, there was Bob Dylan, of course. 

“Alley Cat” isn’t “ill” or obscure, so this blog offers the two follow-up singles, submitted for your upheaval.  “The Happy Puppy” is actually pretty famous, actually. You’ve heard the damn thing hundreds of times, usually when some fossilized asshole like Ben Blue would do an unfunny comic mime on “The Ed Sullivan Show.” You know the kind of tedium: Mr. Sad Faced Bewildered Funnyfuck tries to put his hat on only to have it keep falling off while adjusting his cane which keeps falling down. After several excruciating minutes (accompanied by irritating music such as “The Happy Puppy”) the child-man has his hat and cane in place, and he walks away with his pants falling down. Ta da!

You ALSO get the totally rotten “Chicken Feed,” which Frank Bjorn (aka BENT FABRIC) did not write. This one is credited to the team of Bert Graves & Jorgen Ingmann. Both are on “The Happy Puppy” album, which includes such MOR-on titles and grain-dead filler as ‘Puppy Love” and “Tip Toe Serenade.”

The happy story for BENT FABRIC is that he remained busy with movie soundtracks and more albums in his native Denmark, where he was lauded as one of their greatest musicians. Can you name another? (Victor Borge, but he left the country in the 40’s and lived in Connecticut).  In 2006, the vigorous old gent was still charting back home with “Shake” and “Jukebox,” both reaching The Top 10.   If you want to know more about BENT FABRIC, you can iron out any wrinkles in your knowledge by visiting his website. It would help if you not only eat but speak Danish: https://fabricius-bjerre.dk

CHICKEN FEED via MEGA

THE HAPPY PUPPY via MEGA

ZIZI was TOP -- talkin' about ZIZI JEANMAIRE and her Serge Gainsbourg song "MERDE A L'AMOUR"

Merde!

Zizi Jeanmaire has swooped the planet. She did lead a long and colorful life. Here's that Music Hall number that is so frisky and decadent about how LOVE can be SHIT.

Before he was boning Brigitte Bardot and Jane Birkin, Serge suited Zizi just fine. There's a compilation CD that features TWO full albums of Gainsbourg's songs. One might argue (go ahead) that it was Zizi who was Gainsbourg's most notable muse. While both Bardot and Birkin gasped that "Je T'aime: Non Plus" song with him, Zizi most certainly sang more of his songs. So perhaps, did the unlikely Serge fan Petula Clark. 

The French had a fondness for gamins of all ages -- short-haired fireballs from Edith Piaf to Leslie Caron. Probably the most versatile and talented was Zizi. She was a first-rate dancer as well as singer. Although not as well known in America, she did dance on stage in "Can-Can" and in such film as "Hans Christian Andersen" and "Anything Goes." Mostly she stayed in Europe and appeared in ballets.

Renée Marcelle Jeanmaire (April 29 1924 - July 17 2020 was her given name, but she noted, "“When I was little my mother called me ‘mon Jésus’ which transformed into ‘mon Zizi." OK. And maybe Zsa Zsa Gabor's mother thought of her little girl as "mon Moses?" (The Gabor sisters were allegedly Jewish, but I am TRYING not to digress). She became a top rated ballerina in the late 40's (thanks to the coaching of her husband Roland Petit) and gained international acclaim for her London performance in the title role of "Carmen." That's the ballet version, not the opera. The show even came to Broadway, where she would return via "The Girl in Pink Tights" (1954) and ultimately her own one-woman show "Zizi" (1964), which got her an appearance on "The Ed Sullivan Show" and "Hollywood Palace."   Here's ballet's greatest Carmen with her husband, who doesn't look too petit, does he?

She continued to perform through the 70's, and was a darling of the fashion world thanks to her use of Yves St. Laurent clothing and costumes. Though she sang so many Serge Gainsbourg songs, and made many albums, she still considered herself primarily a dancer ... ballet and in cabaret.  She worked through the decades, with her last TV role coming in 1991 in "La Bele au bois dormant." She appeared on French variety shows for another decade or so, including "Champs-Elysees" in 1989 and "The Ou Cafe" 2008. For more about her life, and assuming you can read French, consult her 2008 autobiography: 'Et le Souvenir Que Je Garde au Coeur."

The was Zsa Zsa and there was Zizi. What else competes? ZZ Top? Zzzzzzz.

Panties and a Nightie - here's a little French tease from the past - LIO

Amoureux Solitaries.

That means jerking off in French?

Here's LIO and her obnoxious yet arousing video. What a cutie, with the French pout, and that little outfit. Does it matter that the bitch can't dance? That she can barely rock back and forth swaying her arms and hardly lifting her leaden feet?

Of course SNOT. Who doesn't love a little French tart? To paraphrase an old Pearl Williams joke, "she's got long brunette hair and bangs."

At least you hope she does.

What a disappointment, that she didn't raise that little nightie up a BIT more. It's also a disappointment that she's not really all that French.

Lio's name is Vanda Maria Tavares de Vasconcelos. Like quite a few pop stars who sang in French (such as the legendary Maurane) she's more of a Belgie than a Frenchie, and was born in Portugal.  When her parents divorced, she, her mother and new stepfather moved to Belgium. Her first big hit was the million-selling "Le Banana Split," followed by "Amoureux Solitaires." It's a bit strange but that song was more popular in Austria (#6) and among the cheese-headed wooden-shoe crowd in Holland (#4) than Belgium (#14).

In case you care, the lyrics are only slightly less moronic than her performance. But...at least she's not being quite the tease you think she's being:

"Hey you, tell me that you love me! Even if it's a lie...tell me that you love me! I need romance..a little chemical pleasure...our brains are too dull...every day is the same...life is so sad....let's be a perfect movie. Hey you, tell me that you love me!"

The song is a pretty radical reworking of "Lonely Lovers" by Denis Quilliard (aka Jacno)  which had English lyrics by yappy Elli Medeiros, who fronted their French new wave band Stinky Toys. Lio's baby-bitch bubblegum version in French had so many wanting to toy with her stinky. 

Is it possible to be any more offensive about her and her video? Like, post a screen cap where you can see her panties a little more clearly and for as long as you want?

Her ass caught the eyes of Ron and Russell Mael, better known as the avant-duo Sparks, and they tried to break her into an American star via "Suite Sixtine," circa 1982, which featured her singing in English. For the next five or six years, she continued to do well...but singing in French. One of her albums, "Pop Model" was co-produced by John Cale. She wisely built up her acting credits, as the music world is far more fickle, especially for artists known for tarty cuteness. Among her replacements: Mylene Farmer's fantastic Lolita, the girl known as Alizee.

Lio began making interesting films in 1990 and 1991, and capped the decade on stage in the Folies Bergere starring in of all unlikely things, a version of "Seven Brides for Seven Brothers." One of her more popular stage shows was "Le Bebe" which had 250 performances.

In her late 40's she began her long-running work as a talent show judge:  "Nouvelle Star" and "The Voice Belgique,"  Reality, what a concept. Yes Lio recently turned 58. But...if she wore this same outfit...plenty of guys would still be interested. No? Oui!

THE SAME OLD HURT - Remembering Hank Cochran on the 10th Anniversary of his Death

 

July 2008 was the start of the fatal miseries for Hank Cochran.  Tumors were removed from his pancreas. Cancer. Two years later, and the literally heartache began. An aortic aneuryism. Most of his fans probably couldn’t spell those two words, or point to where the trouble was. Of course, the heart. And at the heart of most classic country songs IS heartache. Which is why the tune below is “Same Old Hurt.”

June 15, 2010, the last day for Hank Cochran.

Hank’s life began with health woes. Doctors didn’t think he’d get past the age of two. Mumps? Check. Measles? Check. Pneumonia and whooping cough? Check and checkmate? Not quite. He pulled his life together while his parents’ relationship broke apart. He stayed with his father for a while, then toured…orphanages.  He learned guitar from an uncle, but ended up doing hard labor on farms and oil fields. His travels took him to from his native Mississippi to California and from New Mexico to Hollywood and ultimately Nashville.

Hank finally got a break when Patsy Cline recorded a tune he co-wrote with Harlan Howard. You may have heard of it: “I Fall to Pieces.” Patsy recorded a few more Hank tunes, and Ray Price had a big hit with “Make the World Go Away,” first via Ray Price on the country charts, and then Eddy Arnold via crossover.  “The Same Od Hurt” was a hit for Burl Ives. Eventually Hank had some luck as a recording artist, although he probably wasn’t well known outside of the C&W world.  He barely had one Top 20 song (“Sally Was a Good Old Girl” in 1962) and his last chart appearance (only seven) was with help from Willie Nelson, a duet on “A Little Bitty Tear.”

Hank recorded just five solo albums and only one, “The Heart of Hank” in 1968 was any kind of a success. It missed the Top 40…landing at #41 for Monument Records. Monumental marital woes were also part of the Same Old Hurt for Hank. He tied the knot five times. Hmm, one for every solo record? What can be said…heartache is never out of style, diseases and death aren’t either, and hey, even a pandemic is just “The Same Old Hurt” because we’ve had that shit ever since mankind began eating rabid animals.

Hank was 74 years old. He had kept touring as long as he could. Maybe he loved to please even small honky tonk audiences. Maybe he had to do it because so many selfish stupid bloggers who call themselves "music lovers" and only want to "have fun" giving away what they don't own, forced him to keep going out on the road while the music pirates, retired, sat on their fat asses re-upping and squealing for "nice" comments. Which is all they can get since only creative people get applause.

“Got a new suit for next Sunday. Got a new job startin’ Monday. Got everybody thinkin’ I’m half smart…Got a new job with more money. Got a new girl who calls me honey.  But I’ve got that same old hurt in my heart….”    

THE SAME OLD HURT via mega

Del Shannon "RUNAWAY" keyboard ace MAX CROOK - dead and "The Twistin' Ghost"

Wouldn't it be nice to think that Max Crook has become a "Twistin' Ghost?"

If you don't know the song, listen on line or download via the link below. "The Twisin' Ghost" was not a hit in America, but the amiable, roller-rinky harmless dance instrumental managed to amuse the Canadians and do an ectoplasmic ooze into the Top 20.

The man with the splendid name, which should be immortalized as a cartoon villain, was born Maxfield Doyle Crook (November 2, 1936 - July 1, 2020.  His father was a doctor. His mother had a degree in music and was a fine pianist, but young Max was first taught the accordion. He graduated to piano, but back then, teachers were strict about their students learning “good music” only. He recalled a sign in the practice room of the university he attended: “'The playing of popular music will not be tolerated on these instruments."

You know what crooked direction he took to the max. In 1959 he was the leader of “The White Bucks,” a group named for its shoes. They managed to get a single released on the Dot label. Two years later, now a member of Del Shannon's band, he perfected his "Musitron" “synth” keyboard and its eerie sound helped make “Runaway” a hit.

Reversing the old pop song lyric about the joys of going “from major to minor,” Max struck up a chord change that inspired Del to work on a melody for it. The familiar story that Del told a thousand times: “We were on stage, and Max hit an A minor and a G and I said, ‘Max, play that again, it’s a great change.’ That night, I went back to the club and I told Max to play an instrumental on his Musitron for the middle part, and when he played that solo, we had ‘Runaway.’ ”

Max recalled, “It was unorthodox, a ‘hook’ song. You’ve got the chord progressions, the falsetto, the Musitron...that bridge actually came to me in less than five minutes, just something to fit in there. It all seemed to fit together…” Crook took the original tape around to local radio stations with no luck. One of his friends brought it to Big Top Records “and they listened to it and said well, it’s very strange, it’s very different, it’s got a lot of gimmicks…” They passed, but were interested in what Del and his band might do next. They didn’t like their next demo and were persuaded to give “Runaway” a shot.

Although “Runaway” went gold, and Shannon and his band were no longer having to play cover versions of “It’s Only Make Believe” (Conway Twitty) and “Rock Around the Clock” (Bill Haley) Max had other ideas. Although today's music pirates insist "the music should be free, make your money touring," that lifestyle was not for Mr. Crook:

“The loneliest thing in the world is to be a traveling star. When we played gigs in New York, you couldn’t leave the room or you’d be swamped with people.” Missing home and family was another problem, as was trying to sleep in strange rooms at night, and missing the simple pleasures of making breakfast or taking a familiar walk around the neighborhood. Besides, Max had gotten a lot of people interested in "synth" music thanks to that catchy bridge in "Runaway." Maybe....

Now calling himself “Maximillian,” he offered radio stations such instrumental novelties as “The Snake” and, yes,  “The Twistin’ Ghost” which tried to haunt the airwaves at the same time as Joe Meek's "Telstar." By the late 60’s, Max was involved in the moog scene, and with a musical partner performed their electronic music as “The Sounds of Tomorrow.” When this didn’t do much for his bank account, and tiring of living in Michigan where the winters were cold and the summers upset his allergies Max looked West.

Interested in tinkering with all kinds of electronic devices, not just musical ones, Crook moved his family to California where he installed burglar alarms for a living. He never quite left the music business. He worked on movie scores and dabbled in gospel via an album called “Good News." This obscurity (no, even I don't have it)  featured such gems as “Don’t Kiss the Devil” and “Jesus Still Makes Housecalls.” Another unusual album: “Standing Pat,” focused on offering marital advice.

Max worked with Del Shannon now and then. Seeking steady work with a pension, Max eventually became a fireman in Ventura County, and rose to the rank of Captain. “Under Captain Crook” was a light-hearted indie album produced by Max and his firefighter friends. Further demonstrating his sense of humor, Max wrote “Happy Haven Rest Home,” which won the attention of Dr. Demento.

As happens with too many old time performers, the royalties on the old tunes diminished thanks to piracy and the "new paradigm." That would be cheap-ass streaming where all the money goes to THE SUITS (at Spotify, Pandora and YouTube) while creative accounting and penurious percentages kept the money away from the people who actually created the music. Max would often go out to small-time fairs and music conventions to demonstrate is musitron and play for a sleepy audience of corndog-eating clods and the kind of slack-jawed apathetic nitwits who will mosey to any event that brightens their dull lives as long as it's free.

Here's Max in front of crickets and hayseeds in some country-fair pasture with private homes in the distance.  This doesn't look like YOUR idea of a good time, does it?

There's not a lot of "Maximillian" recordings out there, since the ones he made didn't make a million, or come anywhere close. There's still a cult for them, and of course, nobody has ever reproduced a riff like Crook's in "Runaway," and even with today's technology, nobody can duplicate that musitron sound and make it work like he did.

Max lives! Here's the amiable instrumental "The Twistin' Ghost" via mega:

THE TWISTIN' GHOST

"I'M NOT GOOD LOOKING" the "WOMANFACE" Misogynist Ridicule from James "Fat Turd" Corden - song by WALTER STONE

HA HA HA..."I'M NOT GOOD LOOKING" DRESSED AS A WOMAN...

HA HA HA...wanna see who would be laughing if fat, pig-faced un-funny James Corden dressed up in BLACKFACE instead of WOMANFACE?

Interesting isn't it? Somehow, it's not ok for a comedian (a good one, such as Jimmy Kimmel, or Billy Crystal or Darrel Hammond) to take advantage of make-up technology and do a really good impersonation of a Black celebrity. No no. You are not BLACK so it's OFFENSIVE.

But it's OK for fat, pig-faced un-funny James Corden to make fun of women by mocking what makes them feminine?

Let's see him do BLACKFACE like that. Or REDFACE. Or YELLOWFACE. But because he's an effeminate disgusting talentless twit who has a morbid need to do drag, that's...funny. No, it doesn't look that funny. Not even clown-funny. It's insulting.

Cordon is just the fetid uncircumcized tip of the dickheads. There's homos mincing around in grotesque parody of womanhood on RuPaul's Drag Race, a huge hit. The idea is to wear some of the most stereotypical sex-object outfits imaginable, and if you're not fugly enough and ridiculous enough, "sashay away." How many women do you know who SASHAY away? About as many as blacks who spend their lunch hour chowing on fried chicken and watermelon?

Somehow, DRAG LIVES MATTER. The fabulous #METOO movement isn't demanding that this totally "inappropriate" and un-PC garbage SASHAY AWAY from cable TV. As ugly and demeaning as it is, it STAYS. Maybe because homos can kick cunt around the block, and not even get aroused by it. So watch it, ladies. The drag queens are a lot tougher than you are.

You might think that Walter Stone's "I'm Not Good Looking" was merely used to tee off on fat, ugly, un-funny drag-happy James Corden. Well. YES. One good reason for it, is that James Corden is fat, ugly, un-funny and drag-happy, and what he and other garish female impersonators do is obnoxious. You want to be effeminate, which is bad enough, go ahead, if that's who you are, Nancy, but don't PAINT YOUR FUCKING FACE too. Not in WOMANFACE. As a clown maybe, because that is what you are.

All right. One last point needs to be made. I don't know diddly about "Walter Stone." But I sure filled up a few paragraphs, didn't I?

The totally obscure rockabilly singer Walter Stone managed to get a song pressed on an indie label, and apparently worked the Thunderbird Club in Indianapolis circa 1967. With such a fine song title, it’s not surprising that local disc jockeys then, and cult-oriented indie-radio disc jockeys today, would dedicate this song to a particular person they hate.  Or, they’d get a request from someone to “Please play this song, and dedicate it to Hans…” or Christian. Or Anderson. Or fat un-funny pig-faced James Corden.

So here you are: “I’M NOT GOOD LOOKING,” which you can download and send to your favorite gruesome-looking jerk. That includes Corden. “Here, Pudgy Jim, you’re not only un-funny and un-talented, and couldn't possibly have succeeded in Carson's era or when late-night hosts had to actually have a million+ viewers... you’re NOT GOOD LOOKING. That’ll do, pig.”

I'M NOT GOOD LOOKING! Walter Stone 

Equalizer Version (a bit louder, and via Mega)

SYSTEM OF A DOWNS ... THE STYLE OF HUGH DOWNS, DEAD AT 99

The Photoshop middle finger...is a FUCK YOU to the Grim Reaper, for taking down Hugh before he could reach 100.

Yes, Hugh Downs is gone. Hugh who? Well, Yoo Hoo to you, too. And too bad if you were too young to enjoy a low-key gentleman from the golden (i.e. CLASSY) days of television.

July got off to a rotten start with the deaths of Max “Runaway” Crook, and a man not known for his musical triumphs: Hugh Downs.

It’s been said that TV is a “cool medium,” and it was certainly true in its formative days, when comfortable and calm personalities such as Mister Rogers and Hugh Downs were welcomed into the living room, and not harridan twats like Judge Judy and brainless bimbo cunts like the Kardashians.

Downs, living up to his name, downplayed drama when he hosted an amiable, news-accented version of “The Today Show." He had been the tongue-in-cheek announcer for Jack Paar’s “Tonight Show,” where conversation, rather than Fallon-fucked stunts, prevailed. The idea was for people to be adult and talk to each other in a witty, informative manner...oh, with a risque joke now and then, or a drunken evening from Garland or Rooney, or a freewheeling session with Jonathan Winters.

In the world of frantic quiz shows, with hyped up prizes and a variety of risque remarks and “consequences” for contestants to act out, Hugh hosted “Concentration” from 1958-1969. So, for a time he was doing both the quiz show and the Paar show, and or the quiz show and "The Today Show." That was kind of a super-load for this mild mannered gent.

As its name implies, "Concentration" was not a quiz show you could merely glance at. It wasn’t a show that a housewife could listen to while dusting the furniture. The show involved remembering little portions of a rebus puzzle, and being the first to deduce and solve the whole thing. “Not a match,” Hugh would softly say, “the board goes back.” David Letterman even adopted that as a (now meaningless) catch-phrase.  

Downs got to be so popular that, no surprise, a record label asked him to do some singing. As you'd expect, he had a smooth voice and a pleasant way with a folk song. Yes, Hugh was fond of folk songs. He also liked country and western, especially Red Foley. From the album notes:

"I think Red Foley is one of the greatest singers of all time. And I include him with Caruso…I'm serious. His singing represents life and that's what music should do." This was also the era of Burl Ives, and Burl's style is pretty evident in the way Hugh handles "Drink To Me Only With Thine Eyes" and "The Ride Back from Boot Hill." Downs recalled (for the liner notes) that he did meet Ives. He "told me I deserved to wear a beard. I told him I wouldn't grow one. I had a mustache for five years but I finally did it in. It was sapping my strength."

Two from HUGH:

HUGH DOWNS 2 songs MEGA link 

SEXY LADIES IN THEIR HIGH-PRICED UNDERWEAR - "HOTTER THAN 'ELL" Fletcher Henderson

Among the things going extinct soon...sexy lingerie. Not trashy lingerie for empty-headed ho's with butts the size of watermelons. We're talking about elegant items that cause Miss Otis a lot of regrets in the morning.

The heyday for this stuff was probably the 30's, with a nod to the tawdry 50's when Lily St. Cyr was selling mail order from the back of magazines, along with Frederick's of Hollywood.

Similarly, the heyday for hotcha Big Band music, the kind that accompanied hot dancing in speakeasy nightclubs and was played throbbingly loud on a cheap hotel radio, was also the 30's, but again, with a nod toward the dying last days of Fletcher Henderson as he tried, yet again and again, to put together a new band. Fletcher was about 55 when he died, December 29, 1952.

Here's a meld of a classic Fletcher Henderson instrumental, and glimpses of "Pre-Code" movies where a glimpse of stocking was usually not enough; slips, bras and panties were on the menu, too.

Sexy Undies + Music by Fletcher Henderson - Watch and/or Download

Any women wear “slips” anymore? No James Corden, the question was ANY WOMEN?

Do you suppose Millennials have ever heard of the terms “step-ins” or “tap pants?” Both refer to what might best be described as the female version of boxer shorts. Instead of tight panties, these were loose-fitting, and, well, you’ll see plenty of them in the video clips, A misconception about B&W movie entertainment was that it was always prudish. No, in fact as soon as a woman stepped in front of a camera, the idea was to get her clothes off and, hopefully, horizontal.

Stag films go back to the silent era, and so did the legendary Clara Bow. Soon there was Mae West and even Betty Boop cartoons showing off saucy humor. Things got so outrageous that a censor was brought in to create a code of conduct for the film studios. The Hayes Office took a lot of fun out of films, but there was still some hot moments, and you can see plenty in “pre-code” movies (of which this compilation partakes).

As for the music, Big Band stuff could definitely swing. Johnny Carson used to simmer about this, pointing to Doc and the band, saying, "If people don't think that's hip...." Because it actually was. Once you understood it, the arrangements and the finesse of the great horn players and drummers is evident. Big Band isn't Glenn Miller doing "In the Mood" (a song Peter Sellers hated so much, he willed that it be inflicted on mourners at his funeral).

Just imagine the cats dancing to extremely fast-paced stuff like “Hotter than ‘Ell,” while drinking bootleg liquor or, gasp, smoking REEFER. Yes, there was definitely some reefer madness going on at some of the after-hours clubs that featured blazing brass and frantic piano and a powerful full band of hepcats stewed or fried on booze or weed.

Some have a passing knowledge of Cab Calloway or Fats Waller, and of course latter-day saints like Miles Davis, but two of the best Big Band leaders were Jimmie Lunceford and Fletcher Henderson. Both offered the kind of hotcha that was often used to pump up the excitement in bizarre movie cartoons featuring insane-looking animals.  

Henderson was wise and slick, and hired some of the legends, from Louis Armstrong and Don Redman to Benny Carter, Henry "Red" Allen, Roy Eldridge, Sun Ra and Coleman Hawkins. His bands recorded a ton of 78's, and he was a classy guy, insisting his guys dress well for their gigs. Henderson also worked as an arranger for Benny Goodman, a secret weapon in Benny's battle to become the hippest guy on radio (up against the Dorsey brothers and Artie Shaw among others). 

I was fortunate that when I was really get into jazz, there were still some big record stores staffed by people who knew what they were doing. At the jazz section one day, I asked, "Who played that fast, bouncy jazz you'd hear on the soundtrack of old Terrytoons and Felix the Cat cartoons?" "Oh, check over here...budget MCA records by Lunceford and Henderson." Henderson was a bit hotter and more intense of the two, although there's unintentional humor in his version of "Knock Knock Who's There," where he puns, badly, his own name. "Knock Knock." "Who's There." "Fletcher." "Fletcher who?" "Fletch-yo-self Go!"

Go, GO. Great Granny may have been keeping some secrets from you. She could’ve been decked out in stockings, garterbelt (suspender belt in the UK), step-ins, slip…and after dancing for a few hours, slipping and sliding in bed to some hot action and Fletcher Henderson music. Hell, 'ell, she might even be in one of the film clips. Hotcha!

That URL again...ZIPPYSHARE VERSION:

Sexy Undies + Music by Fletcher Henderson - Watch and/or Download

MEGA VERSION:

MEGA-SEXY UNDIES! with Fletcher Henderson leading the band