ELSA LANCHESTER and "THE OLD BABY FARMER

Here in mid November, we're right between the birth (October 28, 1902) and death (December 26, 1986) of Elsa Lanchester. She was last heard from on this blog in October of 2007, celebrated for her risque comedy albums. Now it's time to give a nod to her for all the British Music Hall songs she performed, which kept alive the spirit of Vesta Victoria, Marie Lloyd and other charmers she no doubt saw live on stage. When Elsa was on Broadway with her one-woman show, she performed, among many others, "Mrs. Dyer, the Baby Farmer." It appears on her album "Cockney London" (released on vinyl by Verve circa 1958, now a gray area bootleg on CD by Windyridge in the UK).

In a style somewhat in homage of Vesta, Elsa often sang with wavery pitch. Her performance here is almost "campy," probably because the sophisticates in her audience relished decadence and prided themselves on being urbane and shockproof. Prolific murderess Amelia Dyer, the greatest monster of the English-speaking world, gets a coy tribute from the woman who once played opposite Boris Karloff. Her vocal might remind some of the time Roseanne Barr, unintentionally singing "Star Spangled Banner" out of her range, decided the only way out of her embarrassment would be to go for laughs and accentuate her ineptness. Elsa no doubt was aware of the limitations of her voice, and used her acting skills to color the lyrics to best advantage.

From the rather awful piano work of Ray Henderson, to her own wobbling between disgust and amusement over the dire doings of Dyer, Elsa sometimes hits both the bone of pathos and the funny bone on voice alone. When it was penned, and sold to crowds gathered at her hanging, the lyrics were intended to fire up outrage at Dyer's crimes, and to make people happy she was going to die. Over the years, the serious world of England a century ago has often been revised and parodied. From Peter Sellers' comical torture of "My Old Dutch" to Lionel Bart's lovable Fagin and musical comedy version of "Oliver Twist," the idea has been to lighten up the dark. And so "Mrs. Dyer, the Baby Farmer" becomes a black comedy of sorts for Elsa Lanchester. The former Bride of Frankenstein wants to have you in stitches.

ELSA: Mrs. Dyer the Baby Farmer

Dead Insect Eater Edward Archbold should've done THE COCKROACH STOMP

Edward Archbold could've gotten some exercise dancing to "The Cockroach Stomp."

Instead, he crammed giants roaches down his throat. A fatal mistake.

Hope it doesn't tarnish the enthusiasm we have for "Competitive Eating" competitions! After all, nothing is more entertaining than watching somebody gorge on hot dogs on the Fourth of July, or gulp down hard boiled eggs for the glory of a "World Record," which we can watch on a 50 inch plasma TV, unlike starving people who have no TV and would be grateful for a handful of rice.

At the Ben Siegel Reptile Store (Deerfield Beach, near Miami) the prize was…a python. And who wouldn't want one? Why have a cat, for example, when you can call attention to yourself with a python? Although perhaps a shrubbery would be just as peculiar to be proud of. Or a herring.

At Siegel's "Midnight madness" event, Friday night, October 5th, contestants had just four minutes to consume as many bugs as possible. Lucky Edward Archibold was declared the winner. Then he threw up. Then he fell down. And by the time he was hauled to the hospital, he wasn't doing anything, not even breathing. Last report, he's getting a free autopsy at the Broward Medical Examiner's Office.

Roach eating contests. Food eating contests. Recreational eating and snacking. Why, in the good old days, people were told to respect nature, guys such as Jack LaLanne believed in eating natural foods, fruits and vegetables and nothing processed and man-made, and it was a sin to waste food and…there were cute novelty songs like "The Cockroach Stomp." Eat roaches? No, stomp on 'em! Which was, come to think of it, pretty good exercise, too. People also did The Twist. Now pudgy fingers can barely unscrew a twist-top can, and angry slobs like Chris Christie and Rosie O'Donnell and Jennifer Livingston growl like grizzly bears when anyone suggests they be like Al Roker, Oprah Winfrey, or Ricki Lake and shut the cake hole for a while and then eat smaller portions, healthier foods and…get some exercise besides holding a knife and fork.

Anything wrong with over-eating for the fun of it? Just ask John Candy. Chris Farley. Or Edward Archbold, who, it must be admitted, died a winner! At least, this final act may have been an improvement on his last brush with fame…a 2004 arrest (and conviction) for indecent exposure.

The dead roach-eater could end up in a wood box six feet under…and be part of a contest for hungry maggots. They'll consume him in record time and not throw up a single morsel. Some creatures were made to eat dead meat. Maggots. Parasites. Oh yes, and people who enter eating contests and happily visit Applebees, Burger King and the fast food chain that Morrissey likes to call "Kentucky Fried Shit."

Jack Blanchard and Misty Morgan The Cockroach Stomp

HALF A DOZEN TAINTED HALLOWEEN CLAMS - SIX HAUNTED CHICKS!

One of the tedious traditions of October is for bloggers to toss "Monster Mash" all over the Internet. Or "I Put a Spell On You." Or "Don't Fear the Reaper." Or maybe Bach's "Toccata and Fugue in D Minor" with some simpleton reminder that it's famously used in horror movies. Yeah, yeah, Forry, we all know the Phantom of the Opera played it to take his mind off his face.

Most any Halloween playlist is rottenly ripe with overly familiar novelty tripe. Or crappy death metal cookie-monster garbage, or long instrumentals that are very dated and uninteresting but happen to be titled "Frankenstein" and played by Edgar Allan Winter or somebody or other. Here?

Your holiday Anhedonia won't be brightened that much by the six women who sing about death, or being haunted, but at least you're not being asked to suffer through the theme from "Ghostbusters." I know your thanks will take the form of razor blades in the apples I'll get on October 31st.

DREAM WITHIN A DREAM - Jennifer Hope. You've been Hope-less up till now, and don't worry, you'll stay that way. Jen's a wretched wren, a sincere, dreamy, druggy Goth chick. In her musical hobble through the misty mid-regions of her weird haunted home studio, she moans a question of whether life is but a dream within a dream. No, Jen, it's often as grim and depressing as a Sarah McLachlan animal abuse TV commercial. Like the sister of Roderick Usher, lurching through a gloomy mansion, Jen meanders through the melody but never quite finds it. If you can find some laudanum to imbibe, you'll hallucinate that her untrained voice has snagged the key to a high note like Renfield grabbed for a spider.

GLOOMY SUNDAY - Ketty Lester. Probably you've heard this one via Billie Holiday. What's nice about hep kitten Ketty's cover is that she keeps it down around the two minute mark, and slashes the cop-out refrain, "Dreaming…I was only dreaming." The American lyrics via Sam Lewis (for the music by Rezső Seress, who did kill himself three decades after he penned the song) are the ones that almost every singer has used. Two women recorded the more stark (and gloomy) set of grim grumbles as penned by British wordsmith Desmond Carter: Greta Keller and Diamanda Galas.

FLASH FROM THE BLUE - Karen Chandler. This coy 50's pop tune mentions something about a "fiery witch making love to the moon and the moon taking off like a bat." Which could be eerie and erotic if Chandler didn't sing in the bombastic style of Betty Hutton, driving the melody down Broadway with the car doors open (as opposed to her top down). It's here for a trivial reason: the lyrics are by Jerry Stevens…who wrote material for Donn Arden's Vegas showgirls to sing in revues in the late 50's. In 1960 under his real name, Joseph Stefano, he adapted Robert Bloch's "Psycho" into a hit movie, adding some key elements of dialogue and subplot. His next step beyond was the "Outer Limits" TV Show.

HAUNTED - Carole Bennett. Another single that, like Chandler's number, could've been done by Abbe Lane or Juliet Prowse on the Sullivan show, with bumps, grinds, and her jazz-hands ruffling into her mane of tousled hair. A doofus male back-up chorus does the woo-wops while Carole vamps about being a "Hawn-TED Luv-UHH." Not too spooky but if you're a cool ghoul you might play along on the bongo drum you made out of human skin. Another reason why it's on the blog: it was written by the Pockriss-Vance team, who also wrote "Ape on my Fire Escape." Don't remember that one? Alrighty then: "Leader of the Laundromat" and "Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Yellow Polka Dot Bikini." There. Now drink your soup before it clots.

DEAD - Carolyn Sullivan. Unlike Carole Bennett, this soulful lady is seriously depressed, and there's not enough oil in anyone's joint to crank her back to life. Her clam shell has shut like a coffin. She wants to be alone…six feet under. I think her record label, Phillips, did what they could to bury her and her song, but the title ("DEAD") makes it hard not to give her an airing around this time of year. What's that smell? Carolyn issued this notorious single in 1967. The following year Dana Gillespie covered it.

I DON'T WANT TO BE A ZOMBIE - Girl Scouts. The Girl Scouts included the infamous (as opposed to famous) Barbara Markay, who also self-pressed an album called 'Hot Box" with liner notes suggesting she was the next Lenny Bruce. She did curse a little, that's about it. It was neither funny nor shocking. You might charitably say she was the precurser to Julie Brown, who would be much more successful in recording sassy novelty songs with a charming lack of taste. But the tastelessness was usually more violent than sexual ("Homecoming Queen's Got a Gun.") Julie mocked the notion that all a girl had to do was be blond, act as stupid as a zombie, or show off her figure. The Girl Scouts seemed to think all they had to do was show off and claim not to be zombies. And what do they have to show for it? A mention on the Illfolks blog. As Ross Perot used to say, "that's just sad."

SIX HAUNTED CHICKS A Half Dozen Tainted Clams -

DANNY KORTCHMAR "ENDLESS SLEEP" with LINDA R.

Linda Ronstadt on Danny Kortchmar's album "Innuendo."

When deserving studio musicians get a solo shot, superstar friends are ready to help out. It's a tricky thing, though. How overt should the contribution be, and how strongly should it be marketed?

Sometimes the guest star simply turns up in the credits as a nice surprise, like Ry Cooder on guitar for two tracks on Ron Nagle's debut album. Sometimes the artist promotes the lucky favor. After an indifferently received solo album, Gary Brooker trumpeted on the back of his second: "Special thanks to…Phil Collins, Eric Clapton and George Harrison who by their help and company made this record not unworthy of the perusal of most listeners."

Not that it helped him sell many copies. And in this case, the Linda Ronstadt-Danny Kortchmar duet was actually issued as a single, and few seemed to notice. So luck plays as much a part as the guest vocalist. Linda and Danny's version of Jody Reynolds' morbid cult classic "Endless Sleep," is epic. And what a nice touch, to have a song about a woman lost at sea now featuring the frantic voice of a woman!

To be honest, though this album's been part of the Illfolks morgue since it was released, the favorite track has always been "Hair of the Dog," a kind of Zevonesque novelty. There's a jeeringly obvious pun in the refrain. As Danny sings to a girl who might need more lovin' from her bad boy lover, he sneers that she needs "the hair of the dog that bit cha…bitch ya…bitch ya…"

It was during a nostalgic hour of returning to the world of West Coast edgy-hipsters and truth-tellers (ooh, Don Henley, Jackson "Lawyers in Love" Browne, even his brother Sev) that I felt like dragging and dropping the needle on "Hair of the Dog," and then re-exploring the rest of the forgotten album, with its shaving gel advert cover of a moist-faced wet-haired Mr. Danny with a towel around his neck. That's when I literally grooved on "Endless Sleep," with perky Ronstadt on a death trip fer Reaper's sake!

It's surprising that given the Japanese fetish for all-things James Taylor (they love any session man who played with James and even re-issued Craig Doerge's solo album for that reason) Danny's "Innuendo" album never made an appearance in the land of the wan Obi-covered CD.

Surely, as influential as the Illfolks blog is, everything will change now that attention's been called to this lost rendition of "Endless Sleep." I said, surely as influential as the Illfolks blog is…hey...somebody...pay attention...

ENDLESS SLEEP danny kortchmar Instant download or listen on line. No pop ups, porn ads or wait time.

CARLA ZILBERSMITH HAS DIED - "DON'T SAVE ME"

This is a rare entry on the blog.

For the first time the categories that fit include both "Death, Funny" and "Death, Unfunny."

Carla Zilbersmith, who died on May 17th at the age of 47, was handed a death sentence with the diagnosis of ALS…but was determined to make the most of the time she had left, and to laugh in the Grim Reaper's face. Like Warren Zevon, she became the subject of a documentary intended to chronicle the way an artist confronts death and turns the struggle into an art form. Warren lived long enough to see his grandchild and his last album hit the charts. Carla lived long enough to present comedy sketches about death on stage, make some music, and see her documentary completed.

For a long time, she didn't let ALS (Lou Gherig's Disease) destroy her sense of humor the way it did her body. She often mentioned how much she hated having Lou Gherig's Disease because…she didn't like baseball. She wished there was a basketball version instead. Like "Wilt Chamberlain's Disease…you have sex 20,000 times and then you die."

In 2008 she put together a production at the College of Marin's Studio Theater where she worked in the drama department for over a dozen years. "This'll be my last show," she declared. "Then I'm outta here. Literally." A beat. "Just a little death humor. Relax, it won't kill you." Another show was titled "Leave Them Laughing." The flame-haired actress loved to put together skits and improv evenings, and was part of a troupe called "We're Redheads." She also had a deep love of music, and she was a finalist at a Lilith Fair and released several indie CDs. To quote the CD Baby website, would be "Recommended if you like Diana Krall, Joni Mitchell, Shawn Colvin."

Things remained fairly funny, at least at times, for Carla, who blogged back on February 1, 2010 about writing a book called "What to Expect When You're Expiring," subtitled: "How I survived an incurable, fatal illness…then died."

Her blog entries became a lot more grim after that, because "Fuck. I'm not just faking this. I really am dying." Her blog is carlamuses.blogspot.com, which you can also reach via: www.carlazilbersmith.com. Among her fascinating entries is the long February 4th essay on what it's like to have ALS. In part: "You lose sleep...You lie awake, wondering about death, loss and when and how it will all happen. Later, you lose sleep because your blanket falls off you and you aren’t strong enough to lift it back up or you swallow too much air with your breathing machine and get nauseous and burpy. Or maybe you accidentally roll on your back and you can’t roll back to your side. It’s too hard to breathe when you’re lying on your back.
You’re tired a lot. This seems like the cruelest loss of all. Each nap represents hours that can’t be returned. Hours that you’re running out of…You get tired eating. Chewing is an effort and swallowing has to be done with full and complete attention on the task. Choking might kill you…You are 100% dependent on other people. You begin needing a helper first thing in the morning for dressing and showers and last thing in the evening for the reverse. Then you need someone to cook for you, to do your make-up, and pretty soon you can’t cook or serve food. When you can no longer use the toilet by yourself or bring your hand to your mouth to eat or lift a glass of water to drink you need full-time care. This is not only challenging to your privacy, but it’s impossible to afford on a long-term basis. With caregiver bills and other related expenses in the 12,000-15,000 a month area you face the sad fact that there is an up-side to the fact that you are dying, which is that you can’t really afford to live much longer anyway. You are never alone except when you are in bed and a feeling of dread comes over you when you wonder what will happen if you get trapped under the covers and can’t reach the bell for help…"

Some bloggers giggle as they post their five fresh 320 bit and FLAC albums a day, doing it only to get a "nice" comment and pretend to be in show business, as if it takes any skill to throw old Jethro Tull albums on Rapidshare that you could find in a dollar bin if you really cared. On Carla's Blogspot site she was giving what bloggers should be giving...originality, emotional honesty, and insights that serve others as much as they might serve themselves. One blog entry helped her through an unglamorous night:

"It’s somehow coming to the conclusion that the only way to make this night tolerable is write a blog (maybe the first ever) while on the toilet unable to shit….It’s feeling a fist sized shit rip your asshole open and not being able to bear down or catch a breath. It’s that you have this feeling not once but twice in one day even though you cut out morphine and had a prune smoothie. It’s 21 drugs and counting and wondering when you will be dubbed the fucking Baskin Robbins of pill poppers...
It’s paying a heavy price for every fun day…It’s running out of words but still not passing this fucking ball of shit. It’s realizing that life is a no good rotten man who beats on you and cheats on you….It’s knowing that someone is going to commiserate with you by saying, “Girl, I know what you mean. I was constipated once” and you are going to have to bite your tongue and not say, “Unless you have ALS, you do NOT know how I feel unless you’ve rubbed a cheese grater across your asshole for a good 10 minutes at least.”

On March 23rd, she scheduled "A Night of Gratitude. A Special Evening with Carla Zilbersmith." She was trying to communicate, to create art, and to keep on living, despite an illness that was hell bent on grinding her to a halt and keeping her in purgatory before releasing her to oblivion. And so there was the documentary, and there was the satisfaction in her album "Songs ABout Love, Death and Wings." Some of the tunes were grim and others philosophical and touched with wistfulness. A few were written as loving farewells. Perhaps they mix with something she said a few years ago, as the disease began to progress: " "I have a more Buddhist view these days, that life is mostly suffering, that the peace we seek must be found within ourselves."

Your sample is "Don't Save Me."

This blog wants you to read Carla's blog, and get to know Carla's music. Carla blogged this line: "You want people to see how easy it would be for them to wake up one morning and decide to give up their self-inflicted pain and enjoy their wonderful life. How easy it is to have a great day when you can make and eat you own toast, throw on your own clothes, go out into the world and do whatever you damn well feel like. You want people to live all the life you’re going to miss."

CARLA ZILBERSMITH - DON'T SAVE ME Instant download or listen on line. No pop-ups, pop-unders, porn ads or wait time.

RUN FOR COVERS: DELILAH x 7

"She stood there laughing..." Exactly 40 years ago.
Longer, if you consider the movie version, not the Tom Jones song.
That's cold, cruel Hedy Lamarr in both photos. She played Delilah in the movie "Samson and Delilah." It's one of the few things anyone remembers about her. She also was one of the first famous actresses to do a nude scene, and she successfully sued Mel Brooks for corrupting her name into Hedley Lamarr for "Blazing Saddles" (figuring a tribute pun wasn't the same thing as...getting paid.) She also uttered a memorable observation; she said that it was easy for a woman to look sexy: "all you have to do is stand still and look stupid."

But that's not why you're here. You're here for SEVEN versions of DELILAH.
The song's about a cheatin' shady lady whose sillhouette of herself and another man caused Tom Jones to go out of his mind in 1968. "My my my Delilah! Why why why Delilah!"
Tom went all "Son of Sam" on Delilah, defying the odds that a murder ballad, in oom-pa-pa waltz time, could become a worldwide hit.
Hit-man Tom is such a powerful, unique singer, that when he bellows a tune...almost nobody dares to out-shout him.
Some of his songs are so STOOPID, they are his alone...as nobody in his right mind would cover "It's Not Unusual." As for "What's New Pussycat, Whoaaahhhh" nobody touched it except that Welshman filled with too much fermented grape juice.
No MOR-singing MOR-on could equal Tom, but some genre-singers gave "Delilah" a try. And in your download, you get the Italian version, "La Nostra Favola," via the rather light tenor Jimmy Fontana. You get another operatic version as well, plus a country take by the forgotten (well, except to Red Neckerson) Theron Gooslin. Don't you think he's psycho, mama? Just listen.
You'd expect a heavy metal version to be good, especially if it has lesbian overtones (lead singer female), or that maybe a crazy reggae artist would do a killer job but when you listen to those versions, you might not be impressed. Actually the most entertaining version beyond Tom's bathospheric bawl, is probably the live take by that overage delinquent Alex Harvey. The late Scotsman was always good at portraying slightly retarded hoodlums, and is a most believable murderer on one of the most ridiculous pop songs of all time.
With its overdone orchestrations, Tijuana brass-section, shifts from waltz-time to bolero, and fast (literal) cut from corn (didn't we hear about "silhouettes on the shade" just a few years earlier) to operatic violence, "Delilah" is a classic. And yes, there are a few other cover versions out there, but..."forgive me Delilah, I just couldn't take any more."

7 Versions of DELILAH

ZACHERLEY! Sample THE COOL GHOUL

Now 90+, and looking the same as he did when he emerged in the late 1950's as cult tv's undead "Cool Ghoul," John Zacherle is a legend. He spliced himself into the old horror movies he was hosting, created a low budget world of support characters (one was pretty much a huge slab of gelatin) and laughed at his own bad horror puns with a cheerful barking yock. He got the cover of "Famous Monsters of Filmland" without making a film (although his records were sold in the back pages), had a novelty hit via "Dinner with Drac" and even covered "Monster Mash." After influencing Vampira, Elvira and dozens of other would-be horror TV hosts he miraculously went from East Coast TV phenom to rock disc jockey on WPLJ in New York. Very cool! That's just the merest thumbnail sketch, because I lost the actual thumb I was typing with! Ha...ha...yock....
Here's a sample of vintage and recent Zach tunes, to put a Sardonicus-grin on your otherwise normal face.
The lucky 13 download includes "Coolest Little Monster," "Sure Sign of Spring," "Transylvania PTA," "Graverobbing Tonight," "Formaldehyde" and even a cover of Tom Petty's "Zombie Zoo."
Box.net download, my dear. Ha ha...."

Ill-Ustrated Songs #12 LAURIE/STRANGE THINGS HAPPEN - Dickey Lee

Here's one of the great teen-death songs, a campfire horror tale set to music. Unusual for any Top 40 hit, this was one continuous story, evolving through three minutes to the punchline. Like any good anecdote, it was fun to re-tell, or to hear again and again.

If "Laurie" seems like a familiar old fashioned ghost story, it's because it is. 

It's based on the folklore of "Resurrection Mary." Her story seems to have originated in Chicago, around the time "Frankenstein" and "Dracula" were in movie theaters. Mary would appear to motorists, asking for a lift.

They would notice that she was wearing a rather ghostly white dress, and when she touched them, to point them down the road to where she needed to be left off, her hands felt cold. And where did she ask to be dropped off? Why in front of Resurrection Cemetery. She'd glide out of the car and...disappear.

This simple, creepy little anecdote would be one of many told late at night around the camp fireside, or as a bedtime story to scare the little kiddies.

It's similar to "One Step Beyond" anecdotes...like the one about the girl who is scared a maniac is on the loose. She asks her boyfriend to go outside and investigate...and he doesn't come back. She waits and waits. She listens. Then is petrified by a scratching noise at her front door. When it finally stops, she cautiously opens the door...to see her boyfriend with an ax in his head, his fingernail worn out from trying to scratch at the door for help. 

A variation on the "Resurrection Mary" story is called "Just Beyond the Cemetery," (told by Boris Karloff on the Mercury record album "Tales of the Frightened,"). A motorist is helped by a girl who then vanishes as if she was a ghost. 

The idea with horror quickies is to leave the listener momentarily shaken, if not stirred. The urban legend of ghostly Mary was submitted to the Memphis Commercial Appeal by a teenage girl, Cathie Harmon. It was read by Dr. Milton Addington, an amateur songwriter. 

He knew Dickey Lee, and when Dickey was looking for a follow-up to "Patches," and thinking, "maybe we can come up with some kind of ghost story," Addington was inspired. 

In Harmon's version, Mary appears at the Liberty Grove dance hall,  and seems to enjoy a last dance with a fellow who asks to take her home. He drops her off at, yeah, Resurrection Cemetery. She walks away and vanishes. Strange, she had given him her address, but insisted on stopping at the cemetery instead! Puzzled, the next day he visits her house. A woman answers. She says the girl USED to live there, but DIED. Oooooooooh. 

An irony is that a rather faithful version of this ghost story was performed by Frankie Miller for Starday. The single (credited to the trio of John Duffey, Joe Kingston and Chaw Monk) is titled "Bringing Mary Home." Mac Wiseman, Smiley Bates, Red Sovine and the great Billy Edd Wheeler also performed vintage versions of the song, but most recall THIS guy, Frankie Miller: 

"Bringing Mary Home" on YouTube 

"There was something strange about her. Her face was deathly white. She sat so pale and quiet there, in the back seat all alone. I never will forget that night, I took Mary home. I pulled into the driveway where she told me to go. Got out to help her from the car, and opened the door. But I could not believe my eyes, the back seat was bare. I looked all around the car but Mary wasn't there.

"A small light shone from the porch. Someone opened up the door. I asked about the little girl that I was looking for. And the lady gently smiled, and brushed a tear away. 

"(spoken) She said it sure was nice of you to go out of your way. But sir, 13 years ago today, in a wreck just down the road, our darling Mary lost her life and oh, we miss her so. So thank you for your kindness, and the troubles you have shown. You're the 13th one who's been here, bringing our Mary home."

Kindly Dr. Addington included Cathie Harmon as co-writer of his version of the song, which transplants the action to a dance and then to the graveyard. Dickey Lee once mentioned that he never did actually meet Cathie. But "Laurie?" He said, "Around Halloween it gets the heck play out of it...that song did cause a bit of trouble. There was a report of some kids who went out and wrote 'Laurie' on a bunch of tombstones in a cemetery."

"Mitt" Addington wrote about four dozen songs. Being Memphis-based, most were C&W oriented.  The closest one in fame to "Strange Things Happen (Laurie)" is "The Girl I Can't Forget," also recorded by Dickey Lee. The Vogues recorded his song "Five O'Clock World," Jerry Lee Lewis sang "Memphis Beat" Homer and Jethro yocked "Charlie Cheated on His Income Tax" (co-written with Dickey Lee and Allen Reynolds) and his co-writer Allen Reynolds tried "Though The Eyes of Love."  

Other songs by "Mitt" Addington include: "Baby No No," "Burned Fingers," "Car Nine," "Dodo" "Doll House," "Don't Knock What You Don't Understand," "El Toro de Goro," "Elmer the Elf," "Five Chicks," "Hide the Hurt," "I Go Lonely," "If It Wasn't for a Woman," "Impressions," "Julie Never Meant a Thing," "Lollipops and Teardrops," "The Long Walk from Childhood," "Lovers By Night," "Medicine Man," "Mr. Santa Claus," "Not Wisely But Too Well," "Out of Sight Out of Mind," "Ring Around the World," "Sunday Jealous," "Teach Me to Moan," "Trifling Around," "When Marty Throws a Party," "You Can't Turn Me Off Cause You Didn't Turn Me On," "You Name it She's Got It" and "Your Kisses." He was 55 when he died in 1979.   

Dickey Lee "told" the story well, his adenoids at just the right level of innocence and cringe. It's hard not to sound dorky while singing the word "sweater." His song's character is quite a sympathetic fool, missing obvious clues ("an angel of a girl.") 

For what most would consider a "cheapie" single on an obscure label a lot of production work went into the song to help make it a hit. The arrangement is first rate, with it's tentative bits of harpsichord, it's surge of heavenly brass, and a graceful pause when the father reveals the song's punchline. From there, the production (arrangement by Ray Stevens) kicks into eerie overdrive thanks to a choir and apparently the ethereal vocalise from none other than Marni Nixon. I haven't confirmed that the anecdote is a fact, but apparently Addington and/or Lee knew Ernest Gold, the famous ("Exodus" among others) composer. He in turn was married at the time to Marni (their son was pop singer Andrew Gold). So Ernest may have done some un-credited production on the song and figured it needed some the ghostess-hosting of Marni to drive the tune home. Boots Randolph (sax) and Jerry Reed (guitar) were also on this historic recording. When it was completed, Lee listened to the playback and thought, "This is cool — kinda weird."

Dickey Lipscomb (born September 21, 1936 in Memphis) had a regional hit in 1957 called "Dream Boy" on the Tampa label. In 1962 he ironically covered "Tell Laura I Love Her" on the album "Patches" (two death songs on one album!) He also covered "Teen Angel." Looking to switch up on morbid ballads, Dickey's next top ten was "I Saw Linda Yesterday," which he originally thought might be good for George Jones. After "Linda," in May, 1965, "Laurie" peaked at #14 and led to another album...this one larded with cover-songs with girls' names in them: Nadine, Marie, Annie, Gina, etc. Dickey vanished, then reappeared on RCA with seven C&W albums (1971-76). Dickey's biggest hit was a song he wrote for George Jones: “She Thinks I Still Care." More recently (ok, ten years ago) he co-wrote the Tracy Byrd hit "Keeper of the Stars." Dickey began touring Europe circa 1985 on the "oldies" circuit, doing a bunch of his hits along with a handful of other 60's artists. Who knows, once in a while one of them may have taken to the stage to cover the George Jones tune "She Thinks I Still Care," which was the biggest hit Dickey has as a solo songwriter.

Lastly from Mr. Lee: "My advice to any would be songwriters: If you kind of want to do it forget it or do it as a hobby. If you really want to do it you will know because outside of your family (in most cases) you will sacrifice everything it takes to hang in there. My first BMI check was for 69 cents and I cashed it because I needed the money!"
Laurie "Strange Things Happen" Instant Download or Listen on Line. No pop-ups, codes or porn ads

TEEN DEATH LAMENTS

Death was an obsession with teens of the late 50's and early 60's. Morbid music and monster movies became a fad. While there have always been grim pop songs from "Gloomy Sunday" to "D.O.A." somehow, dying was just so much more entertaining, during this era!
The day the music died...was every day on the radio back then.
Bobby Darin snapped his fingers and sang of bodies oozing life. Bobby Goldsboro, Nervous Norvus and many others became famous because of novelty death ditties. Heck, "The Cheers" recorded a motorcycle wreck song. How cheerful! Meanwhile on the C&W charts it was death as usual, completing the trifecta of woe that included being drunk and rarely getting laid.
You get the usual motorcycle wrecks and grim songs of dead people ("Tragedy" by The Excellents, "Dead!" by Carolyn Sullivan) and even a few morbid and weird C&W ditties.
Here's Lloyd Price, Mark Dinning, The Shangri-Las, Twinkle, Jody Reynolds, Dickey Lee, Ray Peterson, The Cheers and more...
Use the comments feature to ruminate on faves I've left out (like "Laurie/Strange Things Happen," "Honey" or "Ode To Billie Joe") or just download these downers and rest in peace:
1. Teen Angel
2. Tell Laura I Love Her
3. Endless Sleep
4. Patches
5. Last Kiss
6. Leader of the Pack
7. Dead Man's Curve
8. Black Denim Trousers
9. Terry
10. I Can Never Go Home Anymore
11. Stagger Lee
12. Tragedy
13. Dead!
14. Me and Little Andy
15. El Paso


Downloading this? "Look out, Look out, Look out!"

Steve Goodman Laughs at Death, Live

If you're not in Chicago, and not into folk-rock, "Steve Goodman" may not be a familiar name. He's best known for writing "City of New Orleans," which was made popular by most everyone who sang it, except him.
Short-lived (July 25, 1948 – September 20, 1984), Goodman was diagnosed with leukemia at 21, and the following year he got married and vowed to try and put together a good life and career with the time he had left...by making music and getting paid for it.
He did it despite "the physical pain and time constraints of a fatal disease which he kept at bay, at times, seemingly by willpower alone," his wife recalled. A local phenom, Goodman recorded "Gathering at the Earl of Old Town" in 1971. After opening for Kris Kristofferson, Kris pulled some strings and got Steve signed to Buddah Records. Steve was still not well known when at a bar, a skeptical Arlo Guthrie agreed to allow Steve to perform a song for him in exchange for a beer. The song, "City of New Orleans," not only became a rare hit for Arlo, but became a hit a dozen years later via Willie Nelson's 1984 Grammy-winning version. But by then, Steve Goodman was gone. He got a posthumous Grammy for "Unfinished Business," released in 1988.
Goodman, like the folkies before him such as Phil Ochs and Tom Paxton, worked the clubs and rarely got radio airplay unless somebody else was covering one of his songs. Steve had a penchant for topical tunes that amused audiences but hadn't enough shelf-life to succeed as singles, and a fun-loving sense of humor, which included parodies of country tunes ("You Never Even Call Me By My Name" covered by David Allan Coe) and endless songs about the then-hapless Chicaco Cubs. Some of Goodman's ashes were actually scattered at Wrigley Field. His song "Go Cubs Go" has become a mainstay, heard at most every Cubs game.
Knowing "Cold Hand Leuk" was coming for him (to use his own term for the killer disease), Steve often responded with humor, and here he is, ridiculing death songs during a live performance. He has great fun with "Teen Angel," "Tell Laura I Love Her" and "(Laurie) Strange Things Happen," and his voice soars into the same register as Mark Dinning, Paul Peterson and Dickey Lee...somewhere between heaven and hilarity.
A bunch of rare Steve Goodman live performances were released on the posthumous set "No Big Surprise," and the royalties go to his wife and surviving children, who might like to see a decent check come in once or twice a year (no big surprise to most humans).
DEATH SONG MEDLEY

TOP BLOKES AFTER DEATH : Offensive EULOGY song

Shock-comedy. It's been a while since a novelty number got anyone upset: Tom Lehrer and "The Vatican Rag." Napoleon XIV and "They're Coming to Take Me Away." Some tunes from Monty Python, who are now old enough to be grandpas.
Here's "Top Blokes After Death," a eulogy to recently deceased (mostly Australian) celebrities. It was broadcast on the TV series "The Chaser's War on Everything." Not on "Saturday Night Live" or Howard Stern's not too Sirius radio show.
From lampooning the way people eulogize a bastard at his funeral, the song takes a giant leap into bad taste, noting all the celebs who became saints because they died:
"Princess DI was just a slut for sex, when they looked in the car wreck, her dress was wet with Arab semen stains..."
Have we forgotten all Diana did for charity? For a laugh, yes.
This blunt tune certainly hits targets that don't deserve it. Croc hunter Steve Irwin may have been a "cartoon" but he wasn't tormenting crocs for fun. He was a conservationist, and eulogies after his sudden and tragic death let people know just how good and caring this guy really was.
Then there's Moms Mabley who said: "You should say something good about the dead. He's dead. GOOD!"
That's the thrust behind most of the celeb names mentioned...Aussies who committed such sins as not scoring an important goal in a key match, or speaking their mind (as much as the singer here does).
Of course a eulogy is usually the first and last time a jerk gets any praise, and we all go back to talking trash before long. As Shakespeare said, "The good is oft interred with their bones," so our goofy-faced rake is really just having a nose-tweak over the fact that, even for a moment, somebody got attention that should've gone to, oh, him instead.
The lines about John Lennon? His assassination was a hurt that will never heal for many of us. He became a saint after death? I don't think so. He honestly debunked his celebrity in his lifetime, and today there's no shortage of bloggers who gripe that "Imagine" isn't a very good song, or that Yoko is keeping them from some imagined vault of Beatles treasures.
But...a quickly written snarky song intended to offend should be taken for what it is.
The author and singer rightly declared (as the controversy began) that they weren't concerned with how the dead celeb's friends and family would react. Comedians can't worry that they won't offend a small percentage of their audience. The singer even acknowledges this problem of self-censorship when, as he's about to include Belinda Emmett (who died of bone cancer at 32), a groan of protest from fellow cast-members arises. The singer reluctantly reigns in his evil fun.
Privately, comics will tell you of Steve Allen's formula: comedy=tragedy + time. When they don't get a laugh with some tasteless joke about Sonny Bono, Steve Irwin or Princess Diana, they mutter "Not enough time..."
Fans are still shaken over Belinda Emmett's tragic last months, so a "curb your enthusiasm" recital of her faults isn't that appropriate. Not for a woman who did seem to be good, courageous and selfless. On her deathbed, Belinda's last words were to her weeping sister: "Are you all right?" And, if you want to bother thinking about it, a "curb your enthusiasm" smack about most anyone's eulogy is misplaced, since after the eulogy people generally go back to remembering the evil the person did.
I have no idea about Peter Brock, Don Bradman, Anna Coren, some guy named Zemanek, etc. One fault of songs like this is not everybody gets the references, but I doubt the author ever thought his tune would gain notoriety around the world (just on the Diana, Irwin and Lennon lines!)
Here's the song written by Chris Taylor. It's performed with vaudevillian Lehrer-type piano work and a slightly Palin or Idle-ized delivery by Andrew Hansen.
Eulogy - Top Blokes After Death Instant download or listen on line. No wait time, porn ads or pop-ups.

GEORGE MELLY In the Electric Chair

Just last year he was working with Van Morrison, resisting cancer treatment, continuing to tour, and vowing to have a damn good time to the end. He did. George Melly died July 5th, at 80.
Your download sample of this eccentric retro-jazz singer is "Send Me to the Electric Chair," a murderer's hip howl:
"Judge yo' honor, hear my plea...I don't want no sympathy, I slit my woman's throat! I found her with another man, I warned her 'bout it before. I took a knife and...the rest you oughta know! Oh judge, judge, good Mister Judge...wanna pay a visit to the devil down below..."
Melly was way too lively to really want to off himself before his time...in fact, it took a sly Illfolks photo-collage to actually stick him into an electric chair.
The barrelhouse melody sounds a bit like "Low Down Alligator" mixed with "Oh You Engineer" while the singing owes something to the first person who popularized it, Bessie Smith.
Born in Liverpool, Melly vowed to bring American classic jazz to new audiences, and sang with Mike Mulligan's Magnolia Jazz Band in the 50's, and John Chilton's Feetwarmers from the 70's onward. Aside from music, he wrote the comic strip "Flook," was an art critic and put together a three-volume autobiography.
The talented Melly was also adept at bisexual sex and was a cheerful exhibitionist. At parties he might strip naked and twist his bulky body from man to imitation woman, and then on all fours, a bulldog!
Last year he recorded his final album, "The Ultimate Melly" with Van Morrison guesting. Last month he made his final stage performances fronting the Digby Fairweather Band.
One of the last of the bohemians, in later years his coy garb and eye patch making him look like a butt pirate, Melly could discuss art with an intellectual, or sing dirty songs to a bar maid. His obit in Britain's "The Telegraph" mentioned Melly was survived by his second wife and had gone from homosexual to "bisexual on his way to being a mighty camp heterosexual." Typical of his flamboyance was his appearance at a 1985 exhibit, "Salute to British Surrealism." The paintings weren't the show: "The entire art world had come from London for the opening and there was George wandering around naked."
Here's an electrifying performance from the Unchained Melly Instant download or listen on line. No waiting, code numbers or porn ads.

The South African Dead Baby Song

It's the first anniversary of the ILLFOLKS blog.

What better way to celebrate than with an ill folk song?

"Siembamba" is sort of the South African version of "Rockabye Baby." We don't mind crooning to our kids about a baby hauled into a tree, and then falling to the ground when a limb breaks. Guaranteed, baby breaks a few limbs, too.

And so in South Africa, there's an equally charming old folk song called "Siembamba."
The genteel, nearly forgotten husband and wife team of Marais and Miranda recorded it, both studio and live versions.
Goodwill ambassadors for South Africa, and fluent in songs involving Dutch and African languages, Marais and Miranda popularized "We Are Marching To Pretoria," "The Zulu Warrior," and many other songs nobody knows anymore. You can find most in the dollar bin of any record store that is still in business, and in thrift shops all over the world.
South African Josef Marais (Nov 17 1905 - Apr 27 1978) and Amsterdam native Miranda (Rosa Lily Odette Baruch de la Pardo, Jan 9 1912 - Apr 20 1986) were kindly people. They used to sing a folk song about "Johnny with the Wooden Leg," but after the war, and mindful of injuries suffered by soldiers, they updated the lyric to "Johnny with the bandy leg." They dressed like classical concert artists, and almost never performed anything that could be considered tasteless.
Almost never.
For any of you who are Dutch/South African, you'll recognize these lines:
Siembamba - mamma se kindjie
Siembamba - mamma se kindjie
Draai sy nek om gooi hom in die sloot
Trap op sy kop dan is hy dood
The rest of you will just have to download this ditty to hear the English translation.
And so, with over-population a threat to kill us if global warming doesn't, the ILLFOLKS blog happily presents....
The delightful dead baby lullaby SIEMBAMBA.

ZACHERLE THE COOL GHOUL

Now nearing 90, and looking the same as he did when he emerged in the late 1950's as cult tv's undead "Cool Ghoul," John Zacherle is a legend. He spliced himself into the old horror movies he was hosting, created a low budget world of support characters (one was pretty much a huge slab of gelatin) and laughed at his own bad horror puns with a cheerful barking yock. He got the cover of "Famous Monsters of Filmland" without making a film (although his records were sold in the back pages), had a novelty hit via "Dinner with Drac" and even covered "Monster Mash." After influencing Vampira, Elvira and dozens of other would-be horror TV hosts he miraculously went from East Coast TV phenom to rock disc jockey on WPLJ in New York. Very cool! That's just the merest thumbnail sketch, because I lost the actual thumb I was typing with! Ha...ha...yock....
Here's a sample of vintage and recent Zach tunes. He may not mean as much if you didn't grow up with him, but let's see if he can put a Sardonicus-grin on the pusses of total strangers. A Halloween re-post from July. Rapidshare killed the link for lack of activity some months later, but you can't kill Zacherle!
The lucky 13 download includes "Coolest Little Monster," "Sure Sign of Spring," "Transylvania PTA," "Graverobbing Tonight," "Formaldehyde" and even a cover of Tom Petty's "Zombie Zoo."
"Foam at the mouth via your RABIDshare download, my dear. Ha ha...."

KILLED AS A SWAN

"She looked like a swan! So I killed her..."
Think you could get off with that kind of defense? Wait till you hear "Molly Bond."
It's a tragic traditional folk song resuscitated by the Oysterband, longtime Celtic rockers on decades-worth of indie labels.
The story begins with a warning to hunters "that delight in a gun." This hunter made a fatal mistake: "Her apron flew around her. I took her as a swan. And I shot my own darling at the setting of the sun."
Yes:
"I shot my own darling, and where shall I run?"
What else would he sing after killing a woman thinking she was a huge swan? "Swaneeeee, how I love ya, how I love ya...."
The good news is that a judge might acquit...if the dead woman's ghost visits the courtroom and insists it was all a tragic accident.
Good ol' Celtic spookiness, and a far cry from the more mundane hunting accidents in other songs, such as Johnny Cash's "I Hung My Head."
Ready, aim... DOWNLOAD....or listen on line.

TEEN TRAUMA & DRAMA

TEEN TRAUMA AND DRAMA
(Yes, the photo enlarges if you click on it. But do you want that?)
Death was an obsession with teens of the late 50's and early 60's. Morbid music and monster movies became a fad. While there have always been grim pop songs from "Gloomy Sunday" to "D.O.A." somehow, dying was just so much more entertaining, during this era!
The day the music died...was every day on the radio back then.
Bobby Darin snapped his fingers and sang of bodies oozing life. Heck, "The Cheers" recorded a motorcycle wreck song. How cheerful! The answer song to all these deathly singles, "Let's Think About Living," paled next to the morbid numbers that we all found as endearing as fresh flowers on a well-kept grave.
You get the usual motorcycle wrecks and grim songs of dead people ("Tragedy" by The Excellents, "Dead!" by Carolyn Sullivan) and even a few morbid and weird C&W ditties.
Here's Lloyd Price, Mark Dinning, The Shangri-Las, Twinkle, Jody Reynolds, Dickey Lee, Ray Peterson, The Cheers and more...
Use the comments feature to ruminate on faves I've left out (like "Laurie/Strange Things Happen" or "Ode To Billie Joe") or just download these downers and rest in peace:
1. Teen Angel
2. Tell Laura I Love Her
3. Endless Sleep
4. Patches
5. Last Kiss
6. Leader of the Pack
7. Dead Man's Curve
8. Black Denim Trousers
9. Terry
10. I Can Never Go Home Anymore
11. Stagger Lee
12. Tragedy
13. Dead!
14. Me and Little Andy
15. El Paso


Downloading this? "Look out, Look out, Look out!"