TOO VISIBLE KE$HA COVERED "INVISIBLE" MARTIN BRILEY

It's hard to keep track of the latest Whore du Jour.

One minute it's Katy Perry, then Lady Gaga, then Miley Cyrus decides to act like an ignorant slut, too. Almost lost in this constant array of cheapness was the dollar-sign doll named Kesha. Or rather, KE$HA.

With so many "I'll do anything for money" chicks around, KE$HA kind of fell through the crack (of showing her crack) even after she turned in a cringeworthy appearance on "Saturday Night Live," wearing black light clothing and black light make-up and looking like a nightmare Adam Lambert had after sucking on a peyote mushroom-tip in some meat district men's room.

It was at that moment I wished KE$HA was "Invisible," but at least, a few years back, she actually covered "Invisible." Yes, before she began singing rotten songs, she covered a good one by Martin Briley. (There is some irony in realizing how often the supposedly misogynistic Mr. B. has had brilliant cover versions from women interpreting his songs…from Rebecca St. James and Celine Dion to Karla DeVito and Pat Benatar…the latter two to be found on this blog.)

The early track "Invisible" demonstrates that at one time KE$HA could carry a tune. Apparently now all she can carry is STD's.

Before the make-up took over. Here's KE$HA, "Invisible."

MARTIN BRILEY vs SICK FUCKS

What we call "religion" is really just one thing: belief in an imaginary friend. The only variation, among the Jews, Christians, Muslims and Hindus and the rest, is how friendly this God actually is.

Some sick fucks figure that God is actually a pretty evil old dude. Even weirder, they figure their particular form of silly costumes, rituals and chants are the ONLY ones that God hears, and that everybody else should be converted or destroyed. Totally insane is that these same sick fucks think God can't smite these heathens himself! They think he needs them to do it for Him. Holy war! Holy shit!

Illustrating this insane and intolerant point, after nearly 20 years of solo album silence, is Martin Briley.

"ME AND MY INVISIBLE FRIEND" is from Martin's album "It Comes In Waves." Still crusty after all these years, maybe half the tracks are salty, while a few (including the title track) are more bittersweet. For other highlights, such as "Church of Disney" and "Pray For Rain," there's a thing called iTunes. Martin also has a myspace page with samples.

Here, singing as a radical Islam asshole, Martin explains why he's a sick fuck: "I wanna protect you, infect you, show you why your life is wrong. I wanna alert you, convert you, then maybe we can get along.." Maybe. Maybe not:

"I watch you every night by satellite surrounded by the things I crave
You got the floosies in Jazuzzis while I'm living in this cave.
HE promises glory, with stories of virgins in paradise
And I never had a girl in the real world so take me to the afterlife.
It'll be deja-vu all over again
We're gonna fight this holy war 'till the bitter end
Me and my invisible friend..."

Do you have a taste for misanthropic, wry, satiric, inflammatory music-making? Think you could write a hit like Briley's infamous "Salt in My Tears?" Maybe Martin can help you get it out there. If you wanna be very commercial, and write songs you think a Celine Dion or an N'Sync might perform, or a Karla DeVito or Pat Benatar, Martin could help here, too, since he's written songs for all of those (and more). For more info on how you might be able to work with Martin Briley in his studio or via tapes or Internet files sent back and forth, check out martinbriley.com.

And now...a slam at radical Islam (because, let's hasten to add, they are hijacking a fine, fine, super-fine, just plain excellent religion) here's...

ME AND MY INVISIBLE FRIEND

Pat Benatar/Karla DeVito go Briley

Karla and Pat earned their M.B. -- by covering Martin Briley.
Briley's the misanthropic singer-songwriter who had an MTV video hit with "(You ain't worth) The Salt In My Tears."
When sung by WOMEN, Martin's vicious songs become feminist anthems. Oh, the irony of it. "I'm Just Using You" is power pop slapping you in the face. Pat Benatar is even tougher with "Take It Any Way You Want It."
Also here: two other vintage Briley songs, "Someday, Someway" covered by Jeff Healey and "Can't Keep Running" by Greg Allman. Briley toned himself down to become a very successful songwriter (Celine Dion and N'Sync) but his real fans are buying the 2 CD re-issue set featuring all three of his classic Mercury albums (and a few demo and bonus cuts), songs from when Briley was that bitter twisted lemon floating in the cocktail of the 80's. Or something like that. It's always a salty download if it involves wryly briney Martin Briley.

KARLA DEVITO

PAT BENATAR

JEFF HEALEY

GREG ALLMAN
It's always a salty download if it involves the wryly briney
MARTIN BRILEY

SHE'S SO FLEXIBLE - MARTIN BRILEY

This is a rare re-post. I don't want you ill folks out there to forget about Martin. Not when he was nice enough to leave a comment the first time!
Responding to my July posting and picture:

"There was I trying to write a beautiful, heart-felt, sincere song about a very considerate woman and you lot with your filthy minds go and turn it into something sordid and disgusting.
Kind Regards
Martin Briley."
Instant Download Instant Download, no code words or porn ads. Listen on line, too!

Karla DeVito & Pat Benatar do Martin Briley

Karla and Pat earned their M.B. -- by covering Martin Briley.
Briley was known for misanthropic songwriting, and unlike goofy, teddy-bear Randy Newman, he looked like he meant it. You might remember his piercing stare and lone MTV video hit "(You ain't worth) The Salt In My Tears."
When sung by WOMEN, Martin's vicious songs become feminist anthems. Oh, the irony of it. "I'm Just Using You" is power pop slapping you in the face. Pat Benatar is even tougher with "Take It Any Way You Want It."

Also here: two other vintage Briley songs, "Someday, Someway" covered by Jeff Healey and "Can't Keep Running" by Greg Allman. Briley toned himself down to become a very successful songwriter (Celine Dion and N'Sync) but his real fans are buying the 2 CD re-issue set featuring all three of his classic Mercury albums (and a few demo and bonus cuts), songs from when Briley was that bitter twisted lemon floating in the cocktail of the 80's. Or something like that. It's always a salty download if it involves wryly briney Martin Briley.

KARLA DEVITO

PAT BENATAR

JEFF HEALEY

GREG ALLMAN

A RUDE MARTIN BRILEY SONG

Martin Briley is often accused of being a misanthrope when not labeled a misogynist. He was always satiric and misunderstood.

Shorthand: cross Moon Martin and Randy Newman. But unlike Moon, Martin's melodies aren't stuck in the 50's. Unlike Randy, Briley has a streamlined (and very British) sense of his own cool.

This song is typical 80's rock, with Briley seeming to compliment his slut-du-jour, all to a frantic masturbatory farfisa-type beat (off). Yeah, yeah, he's the guy in the beret scowling during "You Ain't Worth the Salt in My Tears," one of the first good MTV videos.

On every album (ok, he made 3) there was one viciously up-tempo funny tune. This is from his second album. On his first, the tune was "I Feel like a Milkshake" and it was covered by Peter Tork of The Monkees.

"She has an open mind, she's sweet and kind, but best of all, SHE'S SO FLEXIBLE, she never has to bend to be accessible..."

SHE'S SO FLEXIBLE!